Reference:- Another of Scott Morrison's senators has turned against him .

 Reference:-  Experienced Liberal Senator , Fierraventi-Wells,  has asserted that Scott Morrison is not fit to be Prime Minister . 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                           For the love of God , what next ?   Another member of your team has turned against you on the eve of the federal election .  Furthermore ,  much of the country is flooding again  , and nobody seems very impressed with your pre-election budget release .  Young Josh Frydenberg did try his best , but Ken junior refers to his speech as " The Emperor's New Budget ".   

I guess by that he means that only clever folk can see it's usefulness . And perhaps therein  lies your problem . At election time a budget needs to offer something that ordinary folk find reassuring  .  Figuratively speaking , a couple of hundred quid stapled to a how to vote card won't cut it .

You seemed a tad tired and emotional in recent interviews , so perhaps you need another break from the cut and thrust of politics .  Certainly it is not a good idea to exhaust yourself by visiting localities facing their second devastating flood in four weeks . But whatever you do don't bugger off to Hawaii  like you did during the fires .  

I suggested that you stay in Kirribilli and pretend to have Covid again , but Ken junior reckons that won't wash with voters . 

Sadly , since your Hillsong Church founder is embroiled in legal proceedings following his sordid  saucy shenanigans , it would be unwise to run any promotional videos which highlight your religiosity , as you did prior to the last election .

 The way I see it , you have two cards left to play .  You can tell everybody that Labor will let the national debt spiral out of control  .  And you can say that Labor can't be trusted with defense in these troubled times .  Just remember to have answers handy should some smart arse reveals that the national debt in fact doubled  under the LNP long before Covid , or reminds folk that it was a Labor government that saved our bacon in WW2 despite the previous conservative government selling raw materials to the enemy .  ( You may recall it was Japan back in those days , although now it is China. )

I hope you find this helpful . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

Reference :- Has the " situation " in Ukraine distracted us from our own existential threat ?

Reference :-     The news has been very much focused on Ukraine of late , but now we are told that China is threatening our own security here in the Pacific .  The current Minister for Defense , Mr Peter Dutton , warns us that China is crossing a red line by establishing a financial tie with the Solomon Islands . 

Dear Mr Dutton , 

                              There is indeed a lesson to be found in the current Ukraine situation .  A major power , Russia , has invaded a weaker country without provocation .  Mr Putin  manufactured an implausible excuse by claiming that he feels threatened just because NATO has placed missiles capable of carrying  nuclear warheads within a few miles of his south western borders.   That may be true , but those missiles  would never be used to attack Russia . Historically,  the USA has only ever dropped two atomic bombs on civilian targets . And although the West has invaded Russia in the past , at a cost of millions of innocent lives , that has also only happened twice . Clearly Mr Putin is paranoid .  

However ,the Ukraine situation has highlighted the importance of our own national security . Especially now that  China is establishing a friendship with the Solomon Islands .   This blatantly ignores our own interests in the region , and definitely crosses a red line .  The Solomon Islands are a mere 2000 klms from our shores .  How can we feel secure if China has a presence so close ?

Thank heavens we have reinforced our military ties with the USA .  One only needs to look at their record in Afghanistan and their commitment in Ukraine to realize that they are an invaluable ally, always ready to go all in when the chips are down . 

Ken junior wanted to know why we leased our port in Darwin to the Chinese for 99 years if we see them as a threat .  I pointed out that at least we can keep an eye on the Chinese when they are here . Who knows what they might be up to way off  in the Solomon Islands ?  Furthermore , the money ( now spent ) came in very handy . 

Anyway Mr Dutton , a poor country like the Solomon Islands will most certainly sell out to China for a few quid , and we must be prepared . 

Thank heavens we have those American made nuclear submarines on order ( pending ) . 

 Your comrade , Ken 

PS    Good luck in the looming election . Thankfully the Ides of March has just passed .

 

Reference:- A copy of "The Sky Reply " in first edition paperback is up for auction on ebay !

Reference :-   There is a rare opportunity to purchase an original  collector's edition copy of " The Sky Reply " . 

It always amazes me what Ken junior manages to find on the interweb.   No doubt due to pressing financial problems somebody has been forced to part with their paperback copy of " The Sky Reply " , and have placed it on ebay . 

The photos show a copy that is in mint condition . Hardly ever  opened , and probably never read . 

Should the lucky purchaser post the copy to us  , the team here at The Sky Reply will sign it , which will greatly increase  it's value .   As an investment , it will make the return on most superannuation funds look shabby . 

 Your comrade , Ken 

 

 

 

Reference:- Sky News anchor , Peta Credlin , reminded us of the importance of small local newspapers .

Reference :-   According to Peta Credlin , local newspapers are finding it difficult to source newsprint at a reasonable price due to "supply chain difficulties ". 

Good morning Peta , 

                                     How nice to see you dressing colorfully again .  It must have been quite a shock to lose your sidekick Alan Jones  ( unfairly sacked  and rapidly forgotten ) , but a suitable mourning period has now passed and life must go on . 

Here at The Sky Reply we share your  concern about the shortage of affordable newsprint , for as you point out , local newspapers are indeed " the glue that holds local communities together " . 

If the few remaining local rags can't source enough newsprint these days , imagine how bad it would be if your boss (  Mr Murdoch Esq. ) hadn't closed down more than a hundred of them over the past few years .   That would mean over one hundred  more editors competing for a now scarce and expensive resource.  

Ken junior reckons the euphemism " supply chain difficulties " is quite the flavor of the month , and a convenient device for camouflaging a variety of harsh realities .  On the other hand , Gabbo reckons the most impressive euphemism of the times is  " create a no fly zone " , which he says is being used as a less alarming way of saying " start World War 111 " .   

But Peta , the trouble with the lads at The Sky Reply is that they tend to overthink things , which is why I appreciate your simplified black and white approach to the news .  Personally , I avoid the use of euphemisms myself , and prefer to simply say it like it is . 

Anyway , when you next see Alan Jones forward my regards , and let him know that I hope he is enjoying his latest career change opportunity .

Your comrade , Ken.

 

Reference:- In order to distance himself from his now disgraced spiritual mentor , Mr Morrison has been accused of telling another lie .

 Reference :-  Mr Morrison claims he has not attended the global charismatic megachurch of Hillsong  for about 15 years . 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                           A decade and a half is a long time ago , and certainly several years prior to the sexual turpitudes confessed by your spiritual mentor ( now  discharged ) .   Choosing 15 years was wise , since you never know who might front up at their local cop shop with a complaint to make , and a handbag brimming with saucy and incriminating polaroids .  

Of course , the trouble with blurting out 15years on the spur of the moment is that there are several miles of videotape showing you on stage at the sacred Hillsong premises with Mr Houston , celebrating your miraculous win in the 2019 election . 

Obviously , since you were the guest of honor for a congregation of thousands you could describe yourself as a guest rather than an attendee at that particular ritual .  But the great unwashed might not comprehend the subtle difference .  Certainly Ken junior and the mass media cannot . 

We can only hope that no nosy investigative journalist  uncovers more proof that your relationship with Mr Houston was foolishly intimate . 

Lastly , what is your current position regarding your attempt to take Mr Houston to the White House to visit President Trump ?  Initially you said that such speculation was gossip . You then admitted it was true.  Are you now going to say that you lied when you said it was true ? Or perhaps you could say that the press lied about you admitting it was true ?  At the time , the folk at the White House said they had declined your request for Mr Houston to attend their dinner because he had dodgy bona fides .  Are you going to deny that you knew anything about dodgy bona fides ? 

Oh what a web we weave , as the saying goes . But on the other hand if you weave lies like fury you might end up with a blanket rather than a web . And blankets are great for concealing things . 

Good luck with it all . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference:- This federal election will unfold in the time honored manner .

Reference:-  Despite serious  concerns and complaints over many years , undisclosed donations , pork barrelling , corruption and dishonesty will once again mark the campaign trail in this year's federal election . 

The limerick competition has now closed at The Sky Reply , and the winner has been chosen.  The choice was difficult , but eventually we picked  one that spotlighted  the integrity of the incumbent government . 

It is easy to bang on about the multitudinous government failures , but these have been difficult times . There is nothing to be gained , as Mr Morrison says , by looking in the rear view mirror . ( Which is not a pretty sight . )   Instead we must focus on the road ahead , and elect a government that welcomes  transparency  and honesty . 

Ken junior reckons we desperately need a  government that serves the best interests of the people , and not just a handful of corrupt elites intent on throwing democracy and and the planet on the garbage heap in order to enrich themselves further . Furthermore , Ken junior said that of all the recent events in parliament , one in particular  ( now mostly forgotten ) reminds us that we are at great risk of enduring more of " the same old same old " .   This event  is what the winning limerick addresses . 

Anyway, to satisfy Ken junior , ( and shut him up )  here is the winning limerick .

  

                                                  Government Corruption      , by Anon 

                  

                                    Mr Morrison , we have a suspicion 

                                    Recently went on a mission , 

                                    To inflict on the nation , 

                                    Flawed faith legislation , 

                                   To prevent a corruption commission . 

 

You have to laugh , don't you? 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Mr Morrison tells us we are sending coal to help Ukraine .

Reference :-  It seems that Mr Morrison believes fossil fuels are the answer to most problems  . 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                         I see you are sending coal to Ukraine to help the war effort .   And a whopping 70,000 tons of it .  Ken junior , always the pessimist , tells me that 70,000 tons is only about  0.1% of their annual requirement , but I told him that many power stations may now be out of action due to the hostilities , so the demand for coal  is likely to have fallen considerably .  And come to think of it , many residences are now uninhabitable , which will also lower the demand for electricity . 

Remember  the " gas fired economic recovery " that you spruiked as a response to the recession caused by the dread Covid germ ?   That was a classic example of how fossil fuels can help to save a nation.    Just a few billion quid of taxpayers funds in subsidies , and 18,000 out of 20, 000 jobs in the industry were rescued ... at least for now .   Ken junior , ( AKA Mr Pessimism ) , tells me that 18,000 jobs out of a workforce of 13 million is also but a small fraction of a percent . But as they say , watch the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves . 

Anyway Mr Morrison , what happened to the lump of coal you took to Parliament to frighten the green left ?    I hope you haven't thrown it in with the 70,000 ton gift to Ukraine.  That particular lump of anthracite is now a national icon , and should be in a museum .  God knows what it is worth . 

When it is installed on a plinth in the national Museum , it will need an appropriate caption, so allow us to offer this for your consideration . 

"    Scott Morrison  (Prime Minister  2018- 2022 )  couldn't hold a hose , and he couldn't hold an independent inquiry into government corruption , but he did become famous worldwide for holding this lump of coal . " 

It has a certain je ne c'est pas , don't you think ? 

Your comrade , Ken 

 

 

Reference :- As the election approaches , the complexity of political debate is increasing .

Reference :-   Unfortunately ,  some of the current political debate is occurring within the coalition . 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                          These are challenging times indeed.  And more than ever the coalition must present a united front against the green left.    That is why it is essential for the Libs and the Nats to flog the same narrative to the great unwashed . 

So imagine our disappointment when we  saw that you and the leader of the Nats ( Mr Joyce )  were at loggerheads  regarding a key issue .    You were the first to raise the issue , which is clearly of national importance and could have easily been overlooked while other disasters continue to dominate  the headlines .  

I refer , of course , to your observation that the leader of the opposition, Mr Albanese  has lost weight .  Obviously this is just a cynical attempt by Mr Albanese to impress the electorate , and it is important that you expose such skullduggery . 

Unfortunately , your sidekick in the Nats , Mr Joyce , subsequently stated that he admired Mr Albanese for losing weight , and admitted he wished he could shake off some avoirdupois himself .  At least he stopped short of suggesting that you are yourself bordering dangerously close to morbid obesity . 

Anyway , Mr Morrison ,  Ken junior reckons it was not a major balls up  , but nonetheless it does illustrate how careful one must be to ensure a consistent narrative . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

PS  Don't take this the wrong way , but I hear that Jenny Craig is offering special deals at present.

                        

Reference:- Our Prime Minister's spiritual mentor has fallen from grace .

Reference :-   The founder of the Hillsong Church has been stood down . 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                          What terrible timing . You have enough on your plate at present without your spiritual mentor being stood down for misdemeanors of a sexual nature just prior to an election . 

Poor Mr Houston , it is sad to see that he has lost his job .  At least you are in a position to ensure that his dole payments arrive in a timely manner .  Mr Houston has explained that he was not responsible for his unwelcome saucy antics , since he was wacked out of his tree on pills and booze at the time the turpitude was committed . 

Surely that is an explanation that would satisfy most reasonable folk . 

Ken junior thinks it says something about the consolations of godliness , if a chap , despite being in constant communication with the almighty creator , still needs pills and booze to get through each day . 

But I look at it this way , if nobody was tempted to sin , there would be no need for forgiveness .   And forgiveness is one of the foundation stones of any religion worth it's salt .  The price of forgiveness is a great little earner . 

Anyway Mr Morrison , although I am sure your heart is fairly brimming with forgiveness , I reckon you should distance yourself from this scandal as much as possible .  If anybody starts an investigation , or wants charges to be laid , you need to have a response already at hand . 

Ken junior suggests  "  I cannot comment since there is an investigation underway . " 

Monte reckons   ,   " That is a matter for the state to deal with , it is not a federal responsibility ". 

Gabbo offered  ,    "  I won't have people bad mouthing Christianity like that . " 

My suggestion is    "  I have spoken with my wife and kids about it , and they tell me we should forgive Brian , who has suffered enough already . " 

That gives you something to work with for now . 

Good luck in the coming election . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference:- Environment Minister, Sussan Ley , has just won a landmark court case .

Reference :-  Apparently , according to the court , an Environment Minister does not have a duty of care to children when approving fossil fuel projects .  Or anything else for that matter . 

Dear Sussan ,  

                          I trust I am not being too familiar , using your first name , but as your elder I feel it is not inappropriate .   Congratulations on your win in the recent landmark court case .   I mean , it's a bit rich , kids expecting you to help ensure their survival .   That is their responsibility .  When .... or rather ,"if "  they manage to grow to adulthood , they will have ample opportunity to change the laws when the reins of power and wealth are in their hands .  Meanwhile , they must be patient . 

My son , Ken junior , was a tad upset by the decision of the court.   He feels that kids have a right to a future .  But he fails to understand that Australia has no constitutionally enshrined  human rights .  I mentioned this to Ken junior . 

" Australia has no constitutionally enshrined human rights . ",  I said . 

" Well we should fix that up immediately " , Ken junior said . 

He then went on to rave about how the primary purpose of all creatures was to ensure the survival of their offspring . Even when that meant dying  ( like salmon ) in the process .

" We are not like other creatures .  We are much smarter . " , I said

" Smart enough to invent gas chambers and atomic bombs " , Ken junior said . 

Anyway Sussan , there is no point in talking to the lad when he is like that . 

Clearly we need the money from exploiting fossil fuels , even if there is a little unfortunate collateral damage for the next generation to deal with .  We have a duty of care to the economy .

I mean , for example ,  what is the point of saving the Great Barrier Reef for future generations if nobody will have enough money to roar over it on a 200 horsepower jet ski ? 

I rest my case . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- With a federal election looming , the vote buying has begun .

 Reference :-  In response to inflation , the floods and fires , stagnant wage growth and ballooning debt , Mr Morrison is making  draught beer cheaper by about 35 cents a schooner . 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                         What genius you have displayed . We were wondering what could be done to solve the myriad problems that face the average voter , and you have surprised us again with a carefully devised solution . 

Lowering the tax on draught beer speaks directly to the quiet Australians .  It displays your true blue aussie credentials .    It essentially means that the Prime Minister is saying to all those who are " doing it tough " something akin to ... "  Don't worry about it mate , here , get a beer into ya ! " . 

That is sheer marketing brilliance .  I bet you came up with that idea all by yourself . 

When we first heard the news , it did ring alarm bells for Ken junior . 

 " Cheaper beer might impact our sales of moonshine rum . " , Ken junior said . 

 That certainly made us think . What with the fires and floods and all , our still has had to be rebuilt three times in the past two years .  The overheads have been shocking , and you can only imagine how badly that has impacted our bottom line .   Gone are our plans of eventually listing the Kooralya  rum still on the ASX . 

  But thinking about it , if a bloke was drinking the maximum amount of beer recommended by the health authorities , the tax break would only amount to one free beer every three weeks .  

 And if a bloke didn't want the extra free beer , he could always spend the money he saved on a couple of liters of petrol for his SUV .    So I guess we don't have to worry about our moonshine rum sales .

Anyway , we would like to take this opportunity to promote our hand crafted product .  Considering it's price and alcohol content it represents excellent value for the social drinker .   Monte runs his Yamaha on it , and reckons it goes better on our rum than it does on premium unleaded from the bowser . 

Sadly , some misinformed  folk say that moonshine rum is what sent old Stanley the shearer blind . But I reckon he would have gone blind anyway .   As they say  " Did he go blind from drinking moonshine , or did he go blind while drinking moonshine ? "  

Ken junior reckons we should look to see if we can find another customer who went blind . 

I guess that's what they call a double blind trial . 

If you would like a complimentary bottle , Mr Morrison , we are more than happy to oblige .  

The postage will be expensive since we will need to forward it as " dangerous goods " .  But we are willing to cover the cost if you give us permission to mention you as our best customer . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

 

 

Reference :- Why has the USA been funding " biological research facilities " in Ukraine ?

Reference :-   What will happen if  these mysterious " biological research facilities " fall into the hands of the Russians?  Or get bombed . 

 Various people in the know from both sides of politics in the USA have expressed their concern regarding 20 or 30 biological research labs that exist  in Ukraine . Fox anchor , Tucker Carlson , was greatly  surprised to discover  that the labs existed , and expressed his fear that custom made germs may escape through a broken window or an unlocked  door . 

 Here at The Sky Reply , we don't  trust young Tucker . But  the Under Secretary of State for Political Affairs in the Biden administration , Victoria Nuland , has confirmed the existence of the labs . Furthermore ,  military expert and member of the House of Representatives , Tulsi Gabbard  , said that she wanted them to be destroyed two years ago ,so  we must give Tucker credit for telling the truth . 

It seems plans are afoot to destroy these labs before they fall into Russian hands .  According to Ms Nuland , the USA discovered these " Russian built labs " at the end of the cold war and has been carefully decommissioning them for the past 17 years . I guess we are lucky that they only need a few more days to finish the job . 

Ken junior seemed very anxious when he heard about the labs , but I reassured him that the Americans would never finance the development of biological weapons . 

" Biological research doesn't have to be about biological weapons . ",  I said . 

" So is the USA worried about a cure for cancer falling into Putin's hands ? " , Ken junior said 

" Maybe it's a vaccine to prevent tooth decay ?  " ,  Monte said . 

" Or perhaps it's a remedy for baldness ? " , Gabbo said . 

 Sometimes I wonder whether the lads are taking the mickey . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

 

 

 

 

Reference :- As a service to the community , the Sky Reply has placed an advertisement in it's " Lost and Found " section .

 Reference :-  The Sky Reply has placed the following advertisement on the interweb .  

 

                                             REWARD OFFERED FOR LOST ITEM 

 

"  A reward is being offered for the recovery of a lost Emergency Response Fund .   It was first seen in 2019 when Mr Morrison and the coalition described it in glowing terms as a 4 billion quid stockpile of cash which would be used to help communities recover from natural disasters .  The last reported sighting was earlier this year by a Wall St banker , who described it as in good health and said it was now worth 4.8 billion quid . 

 A spokesman for Goldman Sachs said he had no idea of it's current whereabouts but had no concerns for it's safety .  

 Anybody finding the lost fund is asked to return it at their earliest convenience , since almost everybody  in Australia is now suffering from a disaster of one kind or another .  Especially Mr Morrison . 

To the person who finds the fund ,  the Sky Reply is offering a free one year subscription .  Sky contributor , Monte ,  has also offered a free tour of the flood devastated areas on the back of  his Yamaha trail bike .  Considering the price of petrol these days , and the number of floods , that reward alone is valued at about 25 grand  .  "

We are confident that somebody will come forth before long  . After all , 4.8 billion quid can hardly disappear when it is in the safe company of big business , can it ? 

Your comrade , Ken

 

 

 

 

 

Reference :- The typewriters are clicking furiously here at the Sky Reply . We might run out of ribbon .

 Reference :-   And it's not just the clicking that is furious . 

As the senior editor of the Sky Reply , I find I must curb the anger of the Sky Reply Team as they respond to recent events .  The last thing we need is the anti- terrorist squad banging on our door . 

I mentioned this to the team . 

" Cool it lads , the last thing we need is the anti-terrorist squad banging on our door ." , I said . 

 " They can't get here because of the floods .",  Ken junior said . 

 " Nothing we type is untrue .",  Monte said . 

 " They just lost their case after arresting Kristo Langker . " ,  Gabbo said .  

"  But he had massive crowd funding to pay his lawyers . "  , I said 

(  To remind everybody , Kristo had been arrested by the NSW anti -terrorist squad for asking the  deputy premiere of NSW ......now retired in disgrace ......an awkward question . )

 After a cuppa , everybody settled down a bit  . It seems that the latest Sky News presentation by young Chris Kenny had caused the consternation . That, and the delayed response of the PM to the flood disaster. 

It is said that one must always look for the bright side in any situation , hard to find though it can be . 

I must admit that during Chris Kenny's interview with Shadow Emergency Minister , Murray Watt , young Chris was so hostile and vindictive that he became laughably irrational .  But on the bright side , his interview received  an equally laughable 45 thumbs up from viewers , on the day , so hardly anybody saw him make a belligerent fool of himself .

Schopenhauer could have written a book about the idiocy of Chris Kenny's arguments , best highlighted by his closing remark , paraphrased below . 

"  By pointing out that people are unhappy with the federal response to the flood I worry that you are just making the situation worse " .  

  " What 'situation ' does he mean ? " ,  Ken junior said 

 " Scott Morrison's rapidly declining credibilty . " , Gabbo said  

Anyway , we changed the subject by tearing open some more of the many entries in the limerick competition that have been sent to us from around the world  , and decided that another deserves to be on the short list .  It was a bit soggy and the ink had run , making it hard to read , but that did lend a certain pathos , so we decided to include it . 

                                          Morrison Lets Us Down Again ,   by anon  . 

    

                               Finally he's seen the urgency ,

                               Of declaring a state of emergency , 

                               But it wasn't the flood , 

                              Or the oceans of mud , 

                              It was fear of a Labor insurgency .  

Your comrade , Ken

                              

                

                               

                                

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reference:- The media have been told they are not allowed to film the Prime Minister as he inspects flood ravaged towns and cities .

Reference : -  Australia rates 25th in the world for freedom of the press , one below Namibia .  So why would we be surprised ?  

Dear Mr Morrison ,

                              That was a wise decision , staying home with Covid , but sadly you can't stay holed up forever .  Ken junior reckons you should say that you have now come down with a dose of leprosy , and have to remain isolated , but I don't think you will get away with a health excuse twice . 

As you are no doubt aware , preventing the media ( the spiteful lot ) from snapping polaroids while the great unwashed ( literally ) spit and shout at you , is not going to save your bacon .  Thousands of people will have mobile phone cameras , while the batteries last ,  and will post all manner of unfavorable images and reports on the interweb , as I believe it is called . 

 It's a shame you didn't have a chance to push through all your tough new legislation to prevent online bullying .  Obviously your main concern was to prevent children from being harassed , but it would have come in useful to protect the dignity of your office on occasions such as this . 

Anyway Mr Morrison , at least you are not facing arduous responsibilities and voter backlash alone .  Thankfully you have Senator Bridget McKenzie at your side . With her sports rorts portfolio long forgotten , she can now concentrate on her new role as Minister for total disasters and stuff ups .  And by far the worst  disaster is the one you face in the forthcoming election . 

I see she has kept her coloured marking pens from the sports rorts days , and is already allocating relief funds to the most deserving using her  time honored technique .   Clearly you have an obligation to throw money at the seats you need to hold in the next election . Where is the sense in giving relief money to folk who won't vote for you ? 

Although , Ken junior has made an interesting point .  Even a Labor electorate still has plenty of LNP voters .  These folk and their  relatives all around the country will be displeased if they are unfairly treated .  Not good for the polls , Mr Morrison , not good  . So don't forget to blame the states for not managing the floods competently .  And stop  mentioning dams . That makes  Ms McKenzie a sitting duck for a new barrage of jokes calling her the minister for dam scams .

Thankfully the world is preoccupied with war , including the possibility of nuclear ( nukeyala to you ) war .  This will fill a lot of air time on the media , and give you at least some breathing space , thank God . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- The Prime Minister has given his speech , complete with three word slogan .

Reference :-     Mr Morrison's new three word slogan is a tad disappointing . 

 

 I was rolling pizza dough when Ken junior walked into the kitchen . 

" Morrison used a three word slogan , as we thought . " , Ken junior said 

" What was it ? ",  I said 

" He referred to an Arc of Autocracy " ,  Ken junior said . 

" Is that Arc with "c"  or Ark with a "k" ? " ,  I said 

" Dunno . ",   Ken junior said. 

" Well , Ark with a "k" has biblical significance , and Mr Morrison is a loyal member of a government funded bible cult  . ",  I said . 

 " Arc with a "c" might refer to the way Russia and China form an arc across the northern hemisphere " , Ken junior said . 

" You don't think Ark is an obscure  reference to the annual once in a thousand year floods ? " , I said . 

" Who cares?  He only said it to scare us . ",  Ken junior said . 

" Well it has too many syllables . Arc of Aggression would be better . Anyway , who the hell knows what an autocracy is ? " , I said . 

 " For a bloke with Covid he didn't so much as sniff once during the entire speech . " , Ken junior said 

 " They probably edited  out the sniffs and coughs ." , I said . 

   Ken junior narrowed his eyes .

  " Seamlessly ." ,  Ken junior said . 

   Ken junior is inclined to view politicians with suspicion ... for some reason . 

  Your comrade , Ken

 

 

 

 

Reference :- Here at the Sky Reply we eagerly await the Prime Minister's lunch time address to the nation .

Reference : -    What will the Prime Minister say ?   The Sky Reply Team are making guesses . 

 

With an election looming , we expect Mr Morrison will introduce a new three word marketing slogan in today's speech to the nation.   The old " jobs and growth  "  catchphrase is sounding very dated these days , so we anticipate something fresh . 

There is nothing like a war , or the threat of one  , to stir the imagination , and we reckon a war based three word slogan is on the cards .  

With Russia and China on the nose at present , one of those " axis of evil "  slogans  is the way to go . 

Ken junior reckons  saying that we face a  " crescent of communism "  might work . 

Monte suggested  " Putin's pernicious partnership "  .

But Gabbo says the words need to be much shorter .  

It is very hard  to condense a complex military debacle that evolved over decades ,with mistakes on both sides , into a three(short )word  catchphrase . But we are confident that Scotty from marketing can do it .  

Meanwhile , here is the next limerick on the shortlist . 

   

                                                " Scotty from Marketing "        by anon 

                                    There once was a lying Prime Minister ,

                                    And nothing could he administer ,

                                    Lest we showed him the door , 

                                   He talked up some war , 

                                   A strategy cunning and sinister . 

If we are correct about Mr Morrison's new marketing slogan , we will mention it in the next Sky Reply . 

( If we are wrong , we will delete this post immediately .)  

Your comrade , Ken .

    

 

Reference :- Sky News anchor , Rowan Dean , explained why Russia has invaded Ukraine .

Reference :-    Weather boy , young Rowan Dean , has a talent for explaining complex issues in terms the average punter  ( or poor chump, as Andy Bolt calls them ) can understand .   

Dear Rowan , 

                            It's amazing how you can excise the heart of an issue and hold it high , dripping for all to see .  Of course , you explain  things so well that the rest of think something along the lines of   " I knew that all along . "    So good on you for reminding us that you thought of it first . 

I refer , of course , to your revelation  that it is the " woke  climate change  activists  " who inspired Mr Putin to invade Ukraine .     As soon as you pointed it out it was obvious .  These greenies are intent on destroying civilization .   As you told us at the time , their policies caused the bushfires and the floods by stopping back burning and dam building and now they have fermented war in Ukraine by weakening the West .

Ken junior  is less convinced  . 

" How would destroying civilization benefit climate activists ?"   , Ken junior said . 

" What sort of a stupid question is that ? " , I said . 

" Fossil fuel CEOs and huge companies make their fortunes exploiting the planet  , but how do green activists benefit from trying to stop them ? " ,    Ken junior said . 

 "  If you can't see the bloody obvious , don't expect me to explain it . Idiot ! " , I said . 

Anyway Rowan , here is the next finalist in the limerick competition , which doubtless you have been eagerly following .

                                                     The Usefulness of War       by anon 

                                                 Here comes the familiar refrain , 

                                                That we hear again and again , 

                                                When we face an election , 

                                                We must vote for protection , 

                                                 Or we might end up like Ukraine . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

PS .   As first prize in the limerick competition we are thinking of making a charming little Rowan Dean  puppet .  It would come with instructions on how to make it say anything you like when you slip a fiver up its backside .  We see it as a tribute to independent journalism , but thought it wise to get your approval first . We long ago learned from you that even with the best of intentions one can occasionally cause unintended offense .

Reference :- Oh No ! Not another typo !

Reference :-   The typo in the limerick which featured in the last post has been corrected . 

Ken junior , I mean anon , was pretty annoyed when he saw that we had put the wrong word at the end of his limerick . But it is corrected now .  

Here is the next limerick to make the shortlist . 

                                  

                                          " The Cowardly Prime Minister " ,     by anon 

  

                                       A prime minister deeply in strife ,

                                       Tried to save his political life , 

                                       On an hour long show , 

                                      But wouldn't you know , 

                                      Once again he relied on his wife . 

 

Any similarity to prime ministers past or present is purely coincidental .   

 

Your comrade , Ken 

 

Reference :- What to do ? What to do? What to do ?

Reference :-    Sky News has become so bizarre lately that it is hard to reply .  It has become a parody of itself . 

Dear world wide audience , 

Since Sky News has become unwatchable of late ( just look at the viewer numbers ) we have decided to run another of our ever popular limerick competitions .  Ken junior said he would  set the rules , which he outlined  as follows . 

"  No obscene language ,  no woke leftist greenie rubbish,  no sexism or racism , no virtue signalling , no political ideology ......oh stuff it ..... they're limericks .....just  bloody go for it for Christ's sake ! "  

Entries will remain anonymous and the Sky Reply reserves the right to use the limericks in any promotional material  or advertising , and for any  educational or training purposes ,  or for general harassment of public figures as they see fit . 

In the event of unexpected litigation the anonymity of entrants will be forfeited  immediately.

 Here  is the first entry .        

                                         "Sky News is full of it. "   ( by anon )    

                                Though I know it is easy to snivel ,

                                Sky News is chaotic drivel , 

                               It's become standard practice , 

                               To confuse and distract us , 

                              With opinions deranged and uncivil  .

 

More to follow . 

Your comrade , Ken        

                           

 

                                              

 

 

Reference :- Internationally admired Prime Minister , Mr Scott Morrison , has tested postive to the RAT test.

 Reference :-  Prime Minister Scott Morrison is isolating at home , which is the only sensible thing he can do . 

Dear Mr Morrison , 

                                   Our prayers are with you , and we trust you will enjoy a swift recovery . You will certainly enjoy being out of the limelight for awhile , what with the floods and all .   Obviously there is political mileage to be made out of the Ukraine crisis , but for the moment the last thing you need is a repeat of the public image disaster that occurred during the last annual bushfire season . 

It seems like a long time ago now , but I do recall that you were sensibly self isolating in Hawaii while the infernos raged down under .  Then some idiot caught wind of your location . Next thing we knew you were waddling around the charred remains of entire townships  explaining that you didn't know how to hold a hose .  The last thing you need now is to be filmed wading through floodwaters explaining that you don't know how to use a mop and bucket . 

Even if you hadn't become all clapped up with coronavirus , it is such a convenient excuse that Ken junior reckons you would have been wise to fake the illness .  After all , the " sickie " excuse is part of Australian culture these days .

Anyway , regardless of whether your dose of Covid is a bit of a fib or not , you now have time to plan your approach to flood recovery .  The most important thing to remember is that you must simply promise  stupendous sums of cash . ( By the time people realize that you still haven't paid the funds promised  for the previous floods , droughts , and fires , the election will be over . )

With the empty promises out of the way you must then concentrate on  the Ukraine crisis . It will be easy enough to convince the average punter that you and Mr Dutton are the only ones who can protect us from the continuing expansion , with total disregard to treaties and promises , and the outrageous and arrogant provocation of NATO ...... I mean Russia .  The media love a war , and the advantage for you is that they have no interest in presenting complex nuances . 

As a professional marketer I am sure you can come up with a suitable three word campaign slogan . 

How about  " It's very complicated ".    

Hahahaha .    Just a little joke , sir .

Your comrade , Ken