Reference :- The Sky Reply is taking a one week break .

 Reference :-  Now seems like the right time for a brief holiday 

Dear millions of dedicated viewers ,

              The Sky Reply team has decided to take a week of leave . We do this each year so we have time to peruse the many letters from litigation lawyers that we find in our letterbox . Obviously we never reply to them .  As Ken junior says , if an angry drunk confronts you at the pub and says.

"What are you looking at mate ? "   , then clearly it is unwise to respond . 

Anyway , we look forward to returning a week or so from now , depending on what happens in the Ukraine with red buttons and the like . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

Reference :- Sky anchor Andy Bolt is appalled by a change to State Law in Victoria.

Reference :-    Apparently public intoxication is no longer illegal in Victoria . 

Dear Andy , 

                      Intoxication is a subject dear to your heart , and indeed it is a most retrograde step that has been  taken by the authorities in Victoria . As you say , one can only imagine the vile abuse and slander that people will suffer at the hands of the inebriated . 

Ken junior reckons he has seen you pie- eyed on whisky while airing your show ,  but that is not the same thing at all . You may occasionally be a tad under the weather , glass in hand  , but at least you wear a tie when you fire tirades of abuse at those who deserve no better . 

Public drunkenness is a privilege , not a right , and after the time you have spent before magistrates,  and the spondoolies you have paid to litigation attorneys , it is a privilege to which you are rightly entitled . 

How those socialists in Victoria can justify allowing the great unwashed the same privilege without having paid for it is beyond me . 

Before we know it they will be letting ordinary folk get away with drink driving ..... just like your comrade Peta Credlin .  But nobody will require them to be close friends of the Prime Minister to enjoy that privilege.

It makes you wonder why anybody makes the effort to join the elite these days . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference :- Sky News has released it's format for this year. We can hadly wait for the show to start .

 Reference :-  The Sky News team is returning to start the new year with renewed vigour. 

Dear Sky News Team , 

  Ken Junior tells me you are all set to return for 2023 , and has referred me to an article on the interweb which shows your proposed format .  I see that you are now sans Chris Smith , who did the right thing after the staff's 2022 Noel whoop up , and took a fall for the team .  I asked Ken junior if Chris was out of the Looney Bin yet .  

" Is that Chris Smith chap out of the Looney Bin yet ? " , I said . 

" Jeez dad . You can't call it the Looney Bin . It's called a Mental Health Facility " , Ken junior said . 

As the Sky News team  so often reminds us , " wokeness " is getting out of hand these days . 

Anyway , the promo for your highly anticipated return says you will " dissect the daily news " for us . 

Gabbo reckons " butcher the daily news " would be a more fitting description , but in any case it is pretty obvious that simply  " conveying the daily news " no longer cuts the mustard with viewers in this modern world . 

My favorite part of your promo  was this :- 

" Tell all sides of the story , and not shy away from the broad spectrum of viewpoints on any number of issues . " 

As a news outlet, that is your strongest attribute . You are committed to presenting us with both the right and the wrong sides of a story . And furthermore , you then tell us which side is which , saving viewers the bother of working this out for themselves . 

As always , we look forward to seeing you back  . Perhaps Chris Smith will eventually return after his stint in the Looney Bin ......  sorry I will correct that .  Perhaps Chris Smith will return after his stint in what is now called a  " Looney Facility ".  

Your comrade, Ken .

Reference :- While we await the return of the Sky News team , there has been time to look more broadly at changes in western culture .

 Reference :-  Has anybody noticed the proliferation of confusing acronyms ?  Let me explain .

 With the Sky News team away on holidays , Ken junior reckoned it was time to get some overdue maintenance done .  Half the guttering fell off our tax deductible premises during the floods , and since we don't have town water out here in Kooralya  we rely on a rainwater tank , so the guttering is important . 

As an octogenerian , I consider it unwise to climb ladders myself .  I explained this to the lads . 

"As an octogenerian , I  consider it unwise to climb ladders myself . ",  I said . 

" As a teenager , I consider you are full of it . " , Ken junior said . 

Nonetheless he eventually went aloft with a hacksaw and started cutting off the rusty guttering , throwing the pieces down to Gabbo . 

" Will I chuck these in the back of the ute so we can take them straight to the tip ? " , Gabbo said . 

" Are you crazy ?  That guttering is still pretty good , it might come in handy some time .  Stack it the shed beside those old kerosene cans . " , I said . 

Monte was in the shed  cutting the new guttering to length with an angle grinder . 

Suddenly a spark flew onto the oily workbench , which burst into flames faster than the Graf Zeppelin . 

" Oh crap ! " , Monte shouted. 

 Thinking fast , Gabbo grabbed the fire extinguisher off the wall and doused the flames in a few seconds . 

 " That was quick thinking Gabbo , I am impressed . ",  I said . 

 " It was Monte yelling 'crap ' that alerted me . " , Gabbo said . 

" How's that ? ", I said . 

" You know , " C.R.A.P  " .... in case of fire ,  Clutch extinguisher , Remove pin , Aim , Press trigger . We learnt that at the compulsory workplace health and safety seminar . " , Gabbo said . 

"It seems like there's a bloody acronym for everything these days . They are so confusing , and how's a bloke supposed to remember them all? ", I said  

As I was leaving the shed I heard Monte yell out again . 

" Oh crap ! " , Monte shouted . 

" Christ,  are we on fire again !   ", I shouted 

" No . I cut this length of guttering too short. " , Monte said . 

" Just as well we saved some of the old stuff ",  I said . 

Sigh .    I hope the Sky News team returns before the lads burn the place down . 

Your comrade , Ken