Reference:- Sky News has been rather dull of late .

Reference:-    The Sky Reply has decided to publish a guide to the ongoing Royal Commission into the Robotdebt Scheme .

The Sky News team are all off the air it seems .  No doubt they are enjoying the holiday season . Except , of course , for presenter Chris Smith ...... sorry , I mean disgraced presenter Chris Smith , who has booked himself into a mental health facility following his sadly misunderstood saucy antics at a Christmas party whoop up . 

Rather than let the keys on the Remington go rusty , here at the Sky Reply we have compiled a glossary of terms to help the layperson navigate the legal complexities of the Royal Commission into the Robotdebt Scheme . The Royal Commission is currently in recess , so now is the perfect time to familiarize oneself with some of the jargon , which can be confusing at times. 

The following translations will help clarify statements by witnesses .  The translations appear in parenthesis below each statement. 

1. " Before answering that question , I think it is important to provide some context . "       

   (   Before answering that question , I will first offer my excuse . )

2.   " That was a long time ago , and I am sorry , but I can't remember what was said . "

    ( My lawyer has told me not to answer that question . )

3.   " We made an exhaustive search , until just an hour ago , but the documents cannot be found. "  

      (  We put the documents through the shredder an hour ago . )

4. "  I am sorry , I don't know the answer to that , but will take the question on notice . " 

    (  I need to talk to my lawyer before answering that question . )

5.   " We were acting on the advice of another department . " 

    ( We were acting illegally . ) 

6.    "  We were keen to ensure that  taxpayers were not being cheated . " 

      (  We were keen to get the budget into surplus before the next election )

7.   "  We had to ensure that people received the social security payments for which they were entitled ."

      (  We had to ensure that the fewest number of people possible received social security payments.)

8.     "  We regret that errors in the scheme have contributed to suffering by the vulnerable "

     (  We regret that errors in the scheme made us vulnerable to suffering defeat in the election . )

Armed with this handy guide , you can now view the Royal Commission free from confusion . 

Season's greetings , 

Your comrade , Ken

    

Reference:- Has Christmas become a commercialized holiday devoid of religious significance ?

 Reference :-   Is your knowledge of the religious aspects of Christmas lacking? 

What with all the shopping and partying and feasting and boozing and all , many folk may have failed to contemplate the religious significance of the festive season .  Why not gather the family together and take our short quiz to see who best appreciates the importance of Christmas on our religious calendar ? Simply circle the letter that you believe corresponds to the correct answer for each of the following questions . 

1.   Who was born on December 25th ? 

   A .     Jesus of Nazareth. 

   B.      The Egyptian God , Horus .

   C.     The Iranian God , Zarathustra.

   D.     The Babylonian God , Tammuz . 

   E.      All of the above 

2.     Who was born of a virgin ? 

 A.     Jesus of Nazareth . 

 B.     The God Attis of Phrygia 

 C.    Krishna of India 

D.     The Greek God , Dionysus. 

 E .    All of the above . 

3.    Who was crucified and rose from the dead ? 

 A .  Jesus of Nazareth

 B.     The Greek God , Dionysus

 C.    The Egyptian God , Horus . 

 D.   The Iranian God , Zarathustra. 

 E . All of the above . 

4.   Who had 12 disciples ? 

A.   Jesus of Nazareth

B. The God,  Mithra of Persia 

C.  The Egyptian God Horus . 

D.  Muhammad 

E.  All of the above . 

5. Whose birth was accompanied by a star in the East ? 

A. Jesus of Nazareth 

B.  Krishna of India 

C. Horus of Egypt . 

D. Zarathustra of Iran . 

E. All of the above . 

Please take your time to consider each question carefully before reading the answers below . 

ANSWERS :-   The correct answer for each question is E . All of the above . 

If you scored 5 out of 5 your knowledge of religion is impressive , although I am not sure that indicates  you have religious proclivities yourself . 

Seasons Greetings , 

Your comrade , Ken . 

Reference:- Respected Sky News anchor, Chris Smith , has been suspended following an unfortunate incident at the staff Christmas party .

Reference:-   After looking at the videos ( before they started disappearing  from the web ) it's obvious that the Sky News Christmas party  was one hell of a whoop up. 

Dear Chris , 

                         What the hell is going on ?  Please don't tell me that Sky News is going woke like the rest of the leftie dominated mainstream media .  A party is a party Chris , and after a year of serving the community with such dedication , surely you deserve to enjoy a glass or two of fizz and let your hair down .  

Admittedly I hear that you let down more than just your hair , but everybody was clearly having a  good time until a few idiots ruined it .   I mean a bit of slap and tickle is de rigueur for a boozy staff Christmas Party . It's a shame that some wowsers took offense , and made a fuss . I hear that somebody cried , but she was probably drinking gin , which does predispose some women to crying , as we all know , and nobody has suggested that the other three women who complained actually cried . 

Anyway Chris , you have done the right thing by booking into a mental health facility , which will surely impress those on any future jury you might face . 

Please try to banish from your mind thoughts of divorce , shame , crippling  legal prosecution , and bankruptcy .  You have stood by Mr Murdoch for many years , and I am sure he will stand by you in your hour of need .  One could hardly imagine him taking the opportunity to improve his ratings by sacrificing you as entertainment for the Sky News audience ...those vultures . 

And who among us can honestly say that they  haven't occasionally become  rancid on free booze , and turned into  a vile slobbering  sex offender ?   Let he who is without sin cast the first stone , I say . 

Anyway ,  at some stage you will have to face the clamouring journalists on the footpath outside your domicile , which is the way these things are done .   Just stay cool , and be sure to have prominently displayed on your front lawn a sign that reads  ......"  FORGIVE ME YOU FUCKERS ! " 

This shows that you feel just the right amount regret , while retaining your trademark feistiness .

We look forward to seeing you back on the air before long . 

Season's Greetings . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is isolated at home with Covid .

 Reference:-      The Sky News hosts have hinted that Mr Albanese is shirking his responsibilities . 

Dear Sky News team , 

 Although you are wisely biting your tongues , it's obvious that you think  Mr Albanese  ( AKA as ' eachway Albo  ' ) is in hiding  pretending to be clapped up with contagion .   Doubtless he wants to avoid the flak surrounding the recent rise in interest rates  .  But don't think for a minute he is in residence at  The Lodge .  

The preferred hideout for  Prime Ministers is Hawaii , and I reckon a capable investigative journalist would be able to find him there on a beach sipping a pina colada. 

Obviously , if you catch him by surprise , it would be a great opportunity to ask him a question that he isn't expecting .     A conversation might go something like this . 

Reporter .                 "   I thought you said you were at the Lodge ? "

Prime Minister         "   I don't know where you got that idea . I never said that . " 

Reporter                   "   Do you think you should be in Hawaii now ? The Governor of the Reserve Bank has just made a number of grim predictions about the state of the economy ". 

Prime Minister         " Look , I don't hold with those . " 

 I showed this to Ken Junior , but he was a bit confused and didn't know which Prime Minister I was talking about .   However I know you will get the drift . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

 

Reference :- War is a terrible thing .

 Reference:-  Although it is a terrible thing , one can't stop watching the war whenever it features on the news .  I refer , of course , to the ugly war between Sky host , Chris Kenny , and Paul Barry of the ABC .

 Dear Chris , 

                        War is indeed an awful thing to witness.   And if the old saying " The first casualty of war is the truth "  remains valid , then the second casualty of war must surely be a chap's dignity .  This war you are waging against the ABC ... sorry , I mean the " taxpayer funded ABC " , is getting out of hand , and you are making a fool of yourself .   And what is worse , your comrades at Sky News are following your lead .   

One couldn't turn the tele on recently without hearing you , or one of the Sky News team quote the famous ( now sadly cliched ) line from Dorothea Mackellar' s poem ....  " Of drought and flooding rains " . 

The poem is masterfully written   , and I encourage folk to read all it's verses in order to dilute the stench of cliche that the media has bestowed upon it .

Imagine how the 23 year old Ms Mackellar might have felt had she been told that in a future century her poem would be used to refute the findings of thousands of climate scientists in order to promote the interests of coal mining tycoons  .    Horrified I should think . 

Anyway , once again the lads at The Sky Reply couldn't stop laughing as you accused Paul Barry of not providing any scientific evidence of climate change , while supporting your own argument with lines written by a 23 year old poet more than a century ago .  

 For the love of God Chris ,  surely you can do better than that ?

Your comrade , Ken .  

. 

Reference:- Do you believe you watch enough news to be well informed ?

Reference :-   Take our simple five minute quiz to rate your general knowledge of world affairs .

What with our busy lives and one thing and another , sometimes we miss important news items . This can lead us to form strong opinions despite not being in possession of all the relevant facts .  Why not rate your understanding of current affairs with this short quiz  ?  Today's quiz concerns the war in Ukraine .

For each pair of statements , A and B ,  circle  the one you believe to be the most accurate .  If you are unsure of the correct answer , don't circle either statement .  

1.       A     Putin's invasion of Ukraine was unprovoked .

          B.      Putin invaded Ukraine after decades of provocation by NATO.

2 .      A     Russian soldiers have committed atrocities against both Ukrainians and Russians .

          B     Ukrainian soldiers have committed atrocities against both Russians and Ukrainians . 

3.       A       Russia destroyed the gas pipelines in the North Sea to starve Europe of energy .

          B       The USA destroyed the gas pipelines in the North Sea to starve Europe of energy . 

4.       A        Ukrainian president , Zelensky , declined Putin's offer of peace talks .

          B        Putin declined  President Zelensky's offer of peace talks. 

5.       A       NATO countries are strongly united with the USA and are determined to defeat Putin. 

          B       NATO  countries are losing their commitment to the war and their loyalty to the USA is waning.

6.       A      Sanctions are destroying the Russian Economy 

          B      Sanctions are destroying the EU and British economies , while Russia's economy thrives . 

7.       A     Ukraine's AZOV battalion consists of Nazis with a genocidal agenda .

          B     There are no Nazis in Ukraine . 

8.       A     Forcing a cap on the price of Russian oil will rob Russia of vital revenue . 

          B     Russia has recommissioned enough oil tankers to sell their oil profitably on the world market . 

9        A     Ukraine's army has suffered massive casualties, far more than Russia . 

          B     Russia's army has suffered massive casualties , far more than Ukraine 

10      A     Zelenski is a hero , and Putin is a power hungry war criminal . 

          B      Putin is a voice of reason , and Zelenski is a corrupt puppet of the USA. 

11.     A    Russia is winning the war, and Ukraine's defeat is inevitable . 

          B     Ukraine is winning the war , and Russia's defeat is inevitable . 

12     A     Russia provoked  NATO by shelling Poland  and foolishly risked starting  a nuclear war . 

         B     Ukraine shelled Poland to draw NATO further into the conflict , and foolishly risked starting a nuclear war .

Now you can calculate your score .    For each " A "  answer , score ten points .  Then  for each "B ' answer give yourself ten points . 

If you have scored the maximum of 120 points , then your understanding of the conflict in Ukraine matches that of our most revered news outlets . 

  If you have scored less  than 120 , congratulations , you possess better than average insight . 

 If you scored zero , then you have an excellent grasp of the situation , and should consider offering your services to the mass media as an expert on the subject .  

Your comrade , Ken

           

    

Reference:- The Team at The Sky Reply decided to risk a barrage of criticism .

Reference :-  The Sky Reply may be banned after this post about Lady Susan Hussey , the deceased Queen's favourite Lady-in-Waiting , who has been lambasted for asking a black woman where she came from .    If not , we may be brave enough to raise another controversial issue in a future  post .

It's now in the news everywhere .  The deceased Queen of England spent 60 years of her reign with an appalling racist as her closet companion , from all accounts.  The Queen was a nice person , and not in the least racist herself . How could such a thing happen ?   

The Queen was well loved , and clearly quite intelligent.  It seems incredible that she chose a racist as her closest companion and was unaware of this for six decades .     Perhaps there has been some mistake ?  

One of our editorial staff  at The Sky Reply , Gabbo , is entirely indigenous , and sports the full complement of melanocytes in his epidermis .  Gabbo has faced a lot of racism in the past , and still often does . I asked his opinion on the Lady Hussey matter . 

" What is your opinion on the Lady Hussey matter  ? " , I said . 

"  I don't know a lot about it . ",  Gabbo said . 

"  Is it offensive to ask somebody where they came from ? " , I said 

"  Are we talking about asking someone from Ireland or Scotland or France , or where ?  New Zealanders seem a bit touchy about that sometimes . " Gabbo said . 

" I am talking about asking a black person " , I said . 

" It all depends on the tone of the question . " , Gabbo said . 

" How so ? ", I said . 

" If I was surrounded by folk who had invited me to a gathering to pay me honour , and the interlocutor was smiling warmly , that would be fine .  If I was feeling unwelcome as a stranger in a public bar and the question was asked in the manner of Peta Credlin cross examining Daniel Andrews I would find that deliberately offensive and threatening ." , Gabbo said . 

" Well that Lady Hussey woman sure sounded offensive when the news reporters read out the transcript ", I said . 

" You can make ' Have a nice day . ' sound offensive if you decide to read those words a certain way ", Gabbo said . 

" Be that as it may Gabbo , Lady Hussey was persistent with her questioning ." , I said 

" She is 93 years old , a bit out of touch with the latest social conventions and was trying to make conversation .  I can excuse some ineptness. " , Gabbo said . 

" If she is a silly out of touch 93 year old then she shouldn't be trying to start conversations with black people . " , I said . 

" That sounds ageist to me . " , Gabbo said . 

"Don't patronise me . Your mob may think you are funny , but you are a still a young fool with much to learn , Gabbo " , I said . 

That certainly put him in his place . 

Your comrade , Ken