Reference:- Nobody seems at all interested in interviewing the former Prime Minister .

Reference : - Not even corpulent Sky presenter , Paul Murray , has interviewed Mr Morrison of late . 

Dear Paul , 

                    We hoped you might keep the Scott Morrison  legend  alive on your show , despite everybody else dropping him so cruelly .  We certainly miss his unique style .  Nobody else can avoid answering a question with anything like the same flair .  Please consider bringing him back . The young ones here at The Sky Reply have short memories , and have already consigned him to the garbage dump of history .

In fact , Gabbo wrote an unkind limerick about Mr Morrison  . I quote this below , since it might motivate you to address the situation . 

                                                  The Liar is Gone . 

                                                                                          by Gabbo 

                                A Prime Minister known as Scott  ,

                                Was the worst of all , by a lot , 

                                But now he is history ,                               

                                His location a mystery , 

                                And nobody cares diddley-squat . 

Gosh Paul , somebody somewhere must surely value Mr Morrison's opinion concerning something ? 

          Your comrade , Ken
                                                                                                                 
         

 

 

Reference:- Sky regular , Chris Kenny , congratulated the ABC on the broadcaster's 90th anniniverary .

 Reference:-  Chris Kenny's congratulations were delivered with only the hint of a smirk .... and also only a hint of sincerity . 

Dear Chris , 

                      That was kind of you to congratulate the ABC for 90 years of service to the Australian public .  As a sign of respect you didn't use your favored moniker  , " the taxpayer funded ABC " , and  furthermore you devoted a full 80 seconds to your effort .   ( Well it was actually 45 seconds , the balance being promotion for your forthcoming critical review of  the ABC which you intend presenting in one of Sky News '  trademark impartial documentaries . )

Anyway Chris , it sure has been dull watching Sky News of late , so here is a joke to enliven the folk at your studios . 

THE HISTORY OF MANKIND'S GREAT INVENTIONS . 

 PART I   GREAT INVENTIONS OF THE STONE AGE . 

Two filthy bearded men draped in bearskins stand at the mouth of a cave .  One proudly shows the other a wooden club .  The other looks at the club with awe and exclaims . 

" Wow Grok , you have invented the wooden club . We certainly live in exciting times ! " 

This occasion marked mankind's earliest invention ...... sarcasm . 

 You can take the credit for this joke if you like , Chris .  Consider it my gift to you . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference:- Sky Presenter Peta Credlin interviewed renowned climate skeptic Bjorn Lomborg .

Reference :-  In matters of great importance , it is always wise to consult an expert . And also wise to check  the facts . 

Dear Peta , 

                      It is indeed to your credit that you were able to secure an an interview with Mr Lomborg , for we are all eager to know the truth about renewable energy , it's cost , and whether fossil fuels have actually changed the climate .  Mr Lomborg is very outspoken regarding his support for fossil fuels , and can boast impressive university degrees .     

Ken junior reckons that Mr Lomborg's degrees in Political Science hardly qualify him as a climatologist , but as you know at Sky News , one doesn't need to study a subject at university to become a leading expert in the field .  The fact that actual climatologists condemn him only bolsters his credibility in my opinion .

Anyway Peta , it was interesting to hear how renewable energy becoming far cheaper than fossil fuels has added to the cost of electricity .   Ken junior said that makes no sense .  He said that if the cost of tomatoes  on your weekly vegetables bill went down , the cost of your entire vegetable bill should also come down .  Of course , we all know it is more complicated than that .    If the grocer lost money because his profit on tomatoes fell , he might put up the cost of potatoes to compensate . A greedy grocer might try to overcompensate if he found a good excuse for the price rise . 

I explained this to Ken junior . 

" What would be a good excuse for a price rise in potatoes ? " ,  Ken junior said . 

" A war in the Ukraine . " , I said . 

One last thing Peta . You revealed that only 1.8 % of the world's energy  comes from renewable sources .  Ken junior checked the figures , and you appear to have got the number wrong by more than a factor of ten , which is a 1000% error .   You may wish to make a correction on your next show .   We always enjoy your corrections , which you have the ability to  present with warmth and humility .

Your  comrade , Ken

 

Reference:- Sky regular , Rowan Dean , has broken new ground in the field of deductive reasoning .

 Reference :-   Rowan Dean explained the motivation behind the protests in the USA that have erupted following new laws that criminalize abortion . 

 

Dear Rowan , 

                       Oh my goodness Rowan , it is going to take me quite awhile to digest the content of your most recent rant against what you quaintly describe as the " hateful left ". 

Here is a summary of your thoughtful analysis . 

1.    You told us that the people who protest for the right to terminate an unwanted or dangerous pregnancy don't care at all about abortion laws .  They are just crazy lefties wanting to destroy western civilization . 

2.    By extension , you added that the people who protest about black folk being murdered by the cops don't care at all about black lives . They are also just crazy lefties who want to destroy western civilization . 

3. By further extension , you also told us that the people who protest about climate change don't care at all about the environment . They too are just crazy lefties who want to destroy western civilization . 

What a big eye opener your segment has been for me Rowan .    I mentioned this to Ken junior , who was watching the tele with me . 

" What a big eye opener that segment has been  " , I said . 

Ken junior has just returned from holidaying in warmer climes with the barmaid from the Kooralya pub .  He has a suntan and a smug attitude at present . 

" Rowan Dean is a silly and nasty little man  . " , Ken junior said . 

" You can't deny the power of his logic ." , I said .

 " Let 's see then . Using Rowan Dean's logic , do the following also apply ? " , Ken junior said . 

Ken junior then ran off the following list of statements .

I.   People protesting at gun rallies in support of their interpretation of the second amendment don't care at all about keeping their  guns . They are just crazy right wingers who want to destroy western civilization . 

2.  People who protest against Covid vaccinations and lockdowns don't care at all about such limitations to their freedom  . They are just crazy far right wingers who want to destroy western civilization .

3. People who protest in support of white supremacy don't care at all about racial superiority . They are just crazy far right wingers who want to destroy western civilization . 

4.  People who protest against the Presidential election results don't care at all about who won the election . They are just crazy far right wingers who want to destroy western civilization . 

So Rowan , you can see that Ken junior has become a bit too big for his boots after his saucy holiday antics . He has me on the back foot this time , and more than somewhat confused .

 You are blessed with clarity of thinking Rowan  , so anything you can you offer by way of help will be much appreciated.  

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference:- This really is the last straw .

Reference :-  Sky News regulars Rita Panahi and Rowan Dean were horrified to discover that plastic straws are being banned for environmental reasons . 

Dear Rita and Rowan  , 

                                        What regulations will be inflicted upon us next  ?  I was fascinated to hear from you that Australian drinking straws are not the main source of the plastic that currently chokes the life out of various creatures down on the lower branches of the tree of life .  I reckon if some phyla flopping about in the briny deep can't tell the difference between plastic and their vittles they deserve to become extinct . 

Many thanks for conveying this essential information , the other news services are always wasting our time reporting on the economy and other irrelevancies .  Although , I must admit that I used to quite enjoy the old fashioned paper straws with the barber pole pattern ... something about the texture was more appealing than plastic . 

Anyway , must fly .  I have to dispose of the dirty oil from servicing the ute .   These days they insist that I don't pour it down the drain , which is ridiculous  . Everybody knows that almost all of the oil fouling  the oceans doesn't come from the sump of my 1968 Holden ute , so why all the fuss? 

 Your comrade , Ken

                                    

Reference :- Fair minded Sky presenter , Chris Kenny , suffered a setback .

Reference:-   Former ABC broadcaster , John Faine ,  declined an invitation to be interviewed in a documentary about the ABC that Chris Kenny is producing . Chris is not pleased , and his own words  feature in parenthesis in the following letter we sent as encouragement .

 

Dear Chris , 

                   As you assert , John Faine declining an invitation to appear in your fair minded and balanced documentary about the " low brow , leftist and divisive ABC " is pretty gutless. You would think a chap with a law degree would have more confidence in his ability to defend  the " demonstrably wrong " ideology of the ABC , and it's outrageous " green rants ".     

Mr Faine claims that your position regarding the "taxpayer funded ABC " is well established and unlikely to change .   I thought lawyers were supposed to assume a chap's innocence until proven guilty ? 

Furthermore , despite the fact that you will likely win a Walkley Award for your balanced analysis of the " insular and inbred  ABC " , the selfish  journalists at the " taxpayer funded public broadcaster " have no interest in helping you lift your position in the ratings at their expense .

And yet you have yourself been brave enough to "enter the lion's den " of the ABC to bestow upon them " some common sense " on many occasions .   

 Anyway Chris , you have preserved your dignity with your ability to " respectfully argue " your case , and don't let anybody tell you otherwise . 

Meanwhile , if you are short of folk to interview , give us a call .   Although the ABC mob reckon we shouldn't touch your documentary with a ten foot poll , here at the Sky Reply we boast an 11 foot poll , so to speak , and would be happy to give your innocuous documentary a sound poke . 

Your comrade, Ken .

Reference :- The Sky Reply team is shocked by the escalation of the war .

Reference :-   Last night Sky News revealed the true extent of the war . 

 Electricity being unaffordable  , we were hunched over our cold cornflakes shivering in the unlit kitchen this morning when Gabbo spoke up with foggy breath .

" The war is really getting out of hand . " ,  Gabbo said . 

"  Proxy wars are always terrible .  The big powers don't care about the Ukrainian people . " , I said

"  Not that war .  I mean the other obvious proxy war . " , Gabbo said . 

 " That will be Chris Kenny fighting Rupert Murdoch's proxy war against the ABC ." , I said . 

 " Yep . Did you see Chris Kenny on Sky News last night ? " , Gabbo said . 

 "  A bit . He told us he is producing a documentary about the ABC , to be released soon . " , I said 

" Did he say what it will be called ? " , Gabbo said . 

" No , but keep an eye out for it . I expect it will be called  ' Who Needs the Taxpayer Funded ABC ? ' , or something like that . " , I said . 

 " The Murdoch media receive millions of quid in taxpayer funding too , and then divert the money from it's intended purpose . " ,  Gabbo said .  

"  Funny , Chris Kenny has never mentioned that . " , I said . 

 " Apparently he is having trouble persuading ABC journalists to be interviewed by him . He says he needs them to engage in fair discussion so he can produce his unbiased crushing expose . " , Gabbo said . 

" That's pretty tough . I must write him a letter of encouragement . " , I said . 

"  It's up to you , but I don't think he needs much encouragement ." , Gabbo said.

 More to come ...

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

Reference :- Watching Sky News has become almost unbearable .

Reference :-  The  Sky News anchors have become very bitter indeed since they suffered a humiliating defeat by the ABC in the recent election . 

Dear Sky News team , 

                                     You have my condolences for losing to the ABC in the recent federal election .  I mean honestly , what a shock it must be .  We haven't seen hide nor hair of Mr Morrison since his defeat , and although the greenie marxists at the ABC are ignoring him completely , surely you can think of a reason to bring him back for an interview or two on Sky News ?  He must have at least one opinion worthy of air time .

 Paul Murray, as a keen fan of the former PM , would be the obvious choice for the role of interviewer , and he has the advantage of making Mr Morrison look slim and fit by comparison . It would buoy the spirits of the faithful to see the former PM interviewed by the most savvy supporter he  can boast from among the ranks of elite journalists . 

Have you noticed how the members of the new government have an annoying tendency to answer questions and engage in rational discussion without being confrontational and without resorting to cliches that date from the cold war era ?   How are ordinary citizens supposed to cope with that ? 

What the great unwashed respond to are simple explanations , good guys vs bad guys , name calling , knee jerk reactions , cries of war .....that sort of thing .  And yet the new greenie marxist government has already begun to restore our relationship with China , end the climate wars , and is fostering a new era of discussion and cooperation .   For the love of God , who needs that ?  

At the moment citizens are distracted ,  partly by the cold , since all our gas is being sent to foreign climes for the benefit of struggling  shareholders  ,  but also by the denouement of election fever .  Thankfully you are still keeping a pilot light burning on the climate wars , and this is where you can ignite your comeback . 

Meanwhile I offer this respectful advice ...

 Try not to look like a bunch of whining miserable losers who have lost the ability to think straight .

 Of late , even the Sky Reply team is struggling to wince through your nightly broadcasts of    " opinions that matter " .

Your comrade , Ken

 

 

 

 

Reference :- Young Angus Taylor has been made shadow treasurer of Australia .

 Reference :-    The Tory team must be running short of players if Angus Taylor was their best candidate for the position of shadow treasurer.  

Dear Angus , 

                              It warms my heart to see a young bloke like you rise in the Tory ranks so fast .  And it takes a lot to warm my heart these days , what with the frosty weather and the electric heater being too costly to run and all that . 

The Sky Reply's contributing editor , Gabbo , filled me in regarding your credentials , for as you doubtless know , Ken junior is away on leave at the moment . (  Coincidentally at the same time as the barmaid from the Kooralya pub it seems . )

Gabbo tells me you will make an excellent shadow treasurer , since you are adept with the nuances of shadowy deals .  Especially ones involving water , and the environment .  Those are big issues in the minds of many citizens these days , so I am sure your experience will be invaluable . 

Gabbo also says you may have a lot on your hands if the incompetent new socialist government establishes their promised anti - corruption commission . But as the shadowy ... I mean shadow treasurer , I don't imagine you will have anything to do with it.  And surely nobody wants some silly kangaroo court established . As you say , that would only distract from the serious duties of government .

Anyway Angus , back when your mob were in office , Gabbo wrote a limerick for one of our regular limerick competitions . I am sure you would have seen it , but here it is again .  It's a timely reminder of why we shouldn't establish  an anti-corruption commission , not back then , or ever . 

 

                                      The Anti-corruption Commission      ( by Gabbo )

                                    There once was a great eruption ,

                                    When the people got sick of corruption , 

                                    But the PM and his sort , 

                                    Stayed immune from the court , 

                                    It avoided , they said , the disruption . .  

Stay out of the cold . 

Your comrade , Ken

                                    

        

Reference :- According to Fox News presenter , young Tucker Carlson , firearms are not the most popular of murder weapons in the USA .

Reference :-   Tucker Carlson suggested that knives and fists kill more people in the USA than firearms . 

Dear Tucker ,

                      Good on you for speaking out against those fools who want to regulate firearms . However , in your enthusiasm , you seem to have made a slight error with your reporting on the use of firearms to kill folk .  Knowing that you are always meticulous with the accuracy of your reports  , we offer the following data which will give you the opportunity to broadcast a speedy correction  .

                      

 Here are the statistics on murder weapons used in the USA in 2020 . 

Handguns .........................8029 

Rifles ................................455

Shotguns ............................203 

Other types of guns.............113 

Other types of  firearms......4,863      

This totals   13, 663  firearm murders. 

Knives were used in 1,739 murders .

Fists were used in 662 murders . 

Unfortunately we were unable to determine how many of the citizens stabbed or beaten to death were innocent school children  . 

With statistics like that , who would be brave enough to walk the streets unarmed ?

There is no need to thank us , ensuring that your reputation for ethical journalism remains untarnished  is thanks enough . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference:- The Sky Reply has a job vacancy .

 Reference:-   Ken junior has decided to take long service leave from The Sky Reply . 

  

What with the cold weather , and the endless floods and all , Ken junior has been very downcast and short fused of late . 

He has decided to take some time off  , much to our relief .  

We were having breakfast when Ken junior spoke. 

" For the love of God , turn the heater on ,  I am freezing my plums off here !   " , Ken junior said . 

"  We can't afford the gas . " , I said . 

"  Australia is the largest gas exporter in the world . They can buy our gas cheaper in Katmandu than we can here . " , Ken junior said . 

"  Why do you always blame the Nepalese for everything ? " , I said . 

Anyway , to cut a long story short , Ken junior is off on holidays . He is taking the ute and heading bush with Dog and a month's worth of supplies .  

" At least I can sit by a warm campfire . " , Ken junior said  

Meanwhile , we have a vacancy at The Sky Reply . Applicants will be required to watch the Sky News anchors every night , and analyse their opinions . 

The pay rate we are offering is par with the award , but as an incentive it also includes weekly counseling with an anger management psychologist , free prescriptions for Zoloft , and unlimited access to our moonshine rum still on weekends .   Accommodation is provided in Ken junior's verandah sleepout  . For those who don't share Ken junior's political ideology we can place a wall hanging over the portrait of Karl Marx painted on his wall .     ( For this purpose  I am prepared to loan my treasured hemp macrame wall hanging of Che Guevara , which I bought during the first " Earth Day " rally back in 1970 . )

Applications , including a stamped return address envelope,  can be mailed to PO Box 13  Kooralya  . 

Your comrade , Ken 

PS   Ownership of one of those sub-zero sleeping bags would be an advantage.