Reference :- The team at The Sky Reply is going fishing .

Reference :-    It's election weekend in Queensland  .  Time to go fishing . 

The ute is packed , and we are about to head off . No phone coverage , no internet .  Bliss.

 Gabbo is bringing his guitar , Ken junior  always catches fish , and Monte is the only one who can drive the old ute over the sand dunes without getting us bogged .  Obviously I make a contribution too, and it's an important one .  It's my job to find a place in the shade for the esky , so the ice doesn't melt too fast . 

While everybody is glued to the tube watching the election results , we will be sitting by the campfire , under the stars , smelling the fish cook while we have a beer and listen to Gabbo serenade us with  his Taylor 12 fret guitar .  The lads have made me promise not to sing along , but after a few beers , what the heck, I say .

 Have a great election folks .   

Your comrade , Ken 

 

Reference :- Sky News has said no more about the petition calling for a Royal Commission into the influence of the media.

 Reference :-    It took some research , but here are the latest numbers on government petitions generally . 

The numbers man here at The Sky Reply, Monte ,  has been up all hours uncovering the statistics .  We had almost lost interest in the media petition , but when yet another former Prime Minister ,  Mr Malcolm Turnbull , revealed he had pencilled his name on to the list  , it was time for a closer look . 

 We didn't get much joy from Sky News archives .  After swiftly dismissing the petition as fake news perpetrated by losers and cartoon characters , Sky News dropped the story like a brick crawling with spiders .   However , persistent research has produced these figures . 

 There are currently 80 petitions listed on the government website .  

 The petition calling for the media enquiry has twenty times as many signatures as the other 79 petitions combined .  

 I asked Monte if he thought that such massive support for the petition will guarantee that the government  takes action .

 " I don't think so "  said Monte "  The government can't risk upsetting  the media , they have too much influence ".

Your comrade  ,  Ken 

 

 

 

Reference:- Our Prime Minister is appalled and shocked . So he says .

 Reference :-   Australia Post CEO  Christine Holgate  bought a few Cartier watches for her staff . 

 Well Mr Morrison , sir , to use one of the least clever expressions invented in recent times , this Cartier watch scandal has  " bad optics " .   I have to hand it to you , for taking this opportunity to get everybody all wound up , and save face at the same time .   And as you say , Ms Holgate deserves a firm ticking off .  Those flash watches only cost a paltry 20,000 quid , which is peanuts compared with the 30 million over-payment to those LNP donors who flogged you some land for the Western Sydney Airport .   Or  the recent 100 million sports grants rort .  But what a timely gift this scandal is .

You have had little to say about the airport and sports rorts , and fair enough . The vicissitudes of sums so large are difficult to comprehend , but everybody can get cheesed off about the overpriced and tasteless watches that the privileged enjoy flaunting .  

And Mr Morrison , sir , did you see that Ms Holgate herself wears a Bulgari watch costing 48,000 quid ? I had never  heard of the " Bulgari " brand myself , and when Ken junior told me about it , I thought he called it a " Vulgari "  watch .  That is certainly a lot to spend on a fragile timepiece when many folk can't afford a decent meal . 

Anyway ,  you should continue expressing your alarm regarding this disgraceful  timepiece scandal and it will usefully distract folk from the many megamillion quid rorts and ripoffs that have floated to the surface of the political cesspool recently .   

  You can keep everybody wound up about this until something else springs to mind .  

Your comrade , Ken 

 

 

 

 

Reference :- Sky News revealed that the petition calling for a Royal Commission into the Media contains fake signatures .

Reference :-  The petition calling for an investigation into fake news is fake news , according to the alleged perpetrators of fake news . 

Dear opinion makers and fierce opponents of deception at Sky News , 

It looks like that jerk who signs petitions using the names of cartoon characters has struck again , which of course destroys the credibilty of the whole petition .   The lads here at the Sky Reply say it reminds them  of the time when you exposed that fraudulent petition calling for action on climate change . It was supposedly signed by 11,000 climate scientists.  What a joke that was .  Sky News took a good look at that supposed list , and found that somebody had signed  ..." Goofy " I think it was , or maybe Donald Duck .  

 By the time we heard about it , the list of signatures had been removed from the web .   Having done your job , and with other matters to address  ( At the time I think they were the massive bushfires and record heat waves ) the journalists at Sky News moved  on to greener pastures . Figuratively speaking of course , since much of the country was blackened by ash  . But here at the Sky Reply we followed the story to it's sad conclusion and it turned out that no less than 34 phony or joke signatures were discovered on that climate action petition .

It could easily be that the same jerks signed this latest petition too , possibly several times using various cartoon character names  as a nom de plume .  Modelling the percentage of fake signatures from the climate petition , since there are already a massive 320,000 signatures on the media petition , we could expect several hundred joke signatures this time .   It would take ages to go through them all looking for the phonies , but Sky Reply contributor Monte is willing to do this for you .    

Monte has a suggestion for your banner headline .   

"  Six hundred sham socialists sign senseless solicitation "    Pretty good , don't you think ?   It's this kind of clever alliteration that sets Sky News apart from the rest .  And don't worry if there aren't quite 600 joke signatures on the petition , Monte says he is quite willing to write in a few extra so the headline wording isn't ruined .   And maybe a few of the team at Sky News could do fake signatures as well , if we need the numbers . Are you with me ?

Anyway , we await your call.  This is a deeply concerning issue you have raised , and don't be diverted by those who say it is self serving of you to steer public opinion regarding a petition that asserts you have a penchant for steering public opinion .    It's a concept too difficult for most to comprehend .

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

Reference :- Sky News anchor Chris Kenny has lost interest in the California wildfires .

Reference:-   The wildfires in California have so far destroyed a record area of over 6,250 square miles .  And the season is far from over . 

Well Chris , it looks like your story claiming that the current California wildfires are normal was a tad premature .  They are already twice the size of the previous record , although that record was set way back in 2018. 

I can see why you would avoid the topic now , since it does appear at first glance that you were breathtakingly wrong .   But Chris , there is a spin you can use to save face on this occasion . 

 Why not say you were claiming that   "   record wildfires " are not unprecedented in California ?  You would be on firm ground with that claim , since 17 of the 20 worst wildfires on record have occurred in the last 20 years . 

 You could say something like this :-    "  What I meant was that record wildfires are hardly unprecedented in California , they have them all the time , and the last record wildfire was only a couple of years ago . "    That will silence your critics Chris , and you could use the same technique to make light of the record heatwaves . 

 And don't forget to include your trademark condescending sneer , for added emphasis . 

 Although it's not your style , you may like to pass this tip of Gabbo's along to your comrade at Sky News , Rowan Dean .  As you know Rowan regularly pads out a boring segment with music from his youth . The California fires are a great opportunity for him run a segment blaming arsonists , and finish by playing the Jose Feliciano song   " Light my fire ".   I am sure Rowan could do something creative with the lyrics , especially the clever rhyming of  " fire " with   "liar " .

Since you have been slipping in the ratings lately , you can tell Rowan it was your own idea , and Gabbo has promised to keep his  mouth shut .  He says it's always  a pleasure to help out . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference :- Charismatic leader of the National Party , Mr Michael McCormack explained high finance to us .

Reference :-   The Commonwealth  Government paid ten times the going rate for land at Western Sydney Airport. But it was a prudent investment , according to Mr McCormack , because one day the land might actually be worth what we paid for it . 

None of us thought of that Mr McCormack . It is a great relief to hear that one day in the distant future the land could be worth even more than the stupendous price we paid .   You might recall the figure , which is 30 million quid,  paid to Leppington Pastoral . The chaps at Leppington are probably suffering from " sellers remorse " now they realize what they have lost in future capital gain. 

Anyway Mr McCormack , while we are on the subject , I wonder if the Commonwealth Government might be interested in buying Ken junior's  1999 Hyundai Excel ?   It would be a great way to ferry Mr Morrison about when he wants to take another one of his holidays incognito .  It's Red Book value is 1000 quid , but in fifty  years it will be a classic .  In view of it's likely future value he is prepared to part with it now for ten grand .   I am not one for haggling with prices , but if you are happy with the figure of ten grand  I will throw in a free Roadworthy Certificate .   My mate Trevor does the certificates without seeing the vehicle , which saves a lot of bother , since you obviously prefer your deals to be swift and free of inconvenient scrutiny .   You won't get a better deal anywhere, and you will appreciate the savings which could go towards the ten million quid access tunnel you have promised the Leppington's .

 I look forward to hearing from you soon , since Ken junior wants the money to help reduce his nightmare HECS debt . 

One more thing Mr McCormack .   The Hyundai goes like the clappers , so Ken junior asked me to tell you that it has what he calls  " the U3-S4 brake assist system ".   Apparently that stands for   "usually 3 pumps on the pedal , sometimes 4 ".   

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Sky News anchor Alan Jones ( AKA Comrade Frankenjonesie ) explained the value of tertiary qualifications .

Reference :-  Apparently the Premiere of Victoria , Daniel Andrews ( known to Sky News as Comrade Andrews ) isn't adequately qualified for his job . 

Thanks for that Jonesie .  I didn't know that Mr Andrews only held one of those useless Arts degrees .    The unkind might point to the fact that you have one of those useless Arts degrees yourself , Jonesie , and  that young Andy Bolt dropped out of University without graduating , while Rowan Dean and Paul Murray didn't even bother with tertiary education .  Yet you chaps can win a debate on any topic . Epidemiology , Climatology , Economics , Sociology and Politics to name but a few .   

I could go on Jonesie , but I know you chaps are self -effacing types who shun the limelight . However the point about education is , as I tell the lads here at the Sky Reply , chaps like you are exceptional and don't need a formal education .   You have rat cunning , hard won in the school of life .   And that is what impresses the great unwashed .   As well you know , in any debate it is technique that matters , not substance . 

Ken junior suspects  that the Sky News anchors have all studied the writings of the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.  He reckons you all use the very debating techniques Mr Schopenhauer  described 150 years ago .  Especially the one where you repeatedly claim sole possession of " the facts " , and then invent whatever " fact " suits your purpose .   But Jonesie , I don't think you would waste your time reading an academic tome that analyses a subject  you already fully comprehend through sheer instinct and superior intellect .  You obviously didn't need to read anything when you mastered the science of climate change , for example . 

 Anyway , I think I have heaped enough praise for one day , we wouldn't want to give you a "big head" as they say .   After all , your humility is your greatest asset . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Open minded Sky News anchor , Andy Bolt , showed us footage of what he called " a hissy fit " .

Reference :- Occasionally one gets the impression that Andy Bolt doesn't like Premiere Daniel Andrews .

Good morning Andy .  Last night the lads at the Sky Reply grabbed the popcorn and flopped on the sofa to enjoy your latest rant .  They always have a great sense of anticipation , and the lads often pour themselves a nip of whiskey so they can join with you in the fun . 

But Andy , though your own " hissy fit " was a top shelf effort ,  you led us astray with your promise of Mr Andrew's "hissy fit "  We watched the video footage you presented , eager to see the premiere lose his temper , but were sadly disappointed . 

These are  Mr Andrews words , as revealed on your cutting edge program . 

" That is not ideal . " 

" The bubble did not include us . " 

" People turning up should never happen again "  

  Where was the Daniel Andrew's  " hissy fit " you promised us Andy ?  

  The lads were left high and dry , but rather than waste the popcorn , they decided to watch Paul Murray instead . These days young Paul has taken to using the terms " bullshit " and " shit" regularly on his show.  Being old fashioned , I  told the lads that I find such language offensive , but they replied .  "  What are you  , some kind of woke virtue signalling Marxist ?  Paul has to do that to assert his intellectual superiority . " Then they rolled about laughing . Too much whiskey will do that , as you know .

Times are changing for us older folk , I guess . But I still know a " hissy fit when I see one . 

Anyway Andy , if you want to see a genuine  " hissy fit " , drop by Kooralya sometime and tell Gabbo's dad why you believe there never was a " stolen  generation " .  But make sure you bring a few Band-Aids and a bottle of Mercurochrome . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

 

Reference :- A dishevelled Andy Bolt chastised the Roman Catholic Church .

Reference :-   Andy Bolt believes the Catholic Church has shirked it's duty by failing to confront China over human rights abuses . 

Well I don't know Andy .   Is this really unusual behavior for the Catholic Church ?   Their record on human rights isn't very impressive .   Over the years they seem to occasionally drop the ball and   inadvertently facilitate a genocide or an inquisition .  You know, murdering , torturing , that kind of thing.  

You mentioned that the church opposed Adolf Hitler , but it would be wise to avoid referencing the Nazi era , since it raises the spectre of collaboration .   Pope Pius X11  allowed the deportation and murder of  the Jews of Rome .  Bishop Alois Hudal and Archbishop Guiseppi Siri were prominent Nazi collaborators, and the Vatican helped organize the " rat lines " that smuggled Nazi war criminals to Argentina on forged passports . 

 Also Andy ,  quite a few children , especially altar boys , claim to have had their human rights abused by priests .  Of course we will never know the full extent of that ecclesiastical  misunderstanding .  Kids can be lying little buggers ,  but their plight hardly suggests that the church has a blemish-free human rights record . 

You are a plucky fellow , Andy . Scarcely  a week goes by without you declaring war on China .  Clearly you can't fight such a war alone ,  Rambo style . But there is no point in trying to garner support from the Catholic Church .   On this occasion , I suggest you look elsewhere for an ally .

Your comrade , Ken .

 

 

'

Reference :- Sky News anchor and muscle car enthusiast , young Paul Murray, dazzled us with his language skills .

Reference :-   Despite his bluntness and manly appearance , young Paul Murray is quite a wordsmith .  

That was pure poetry Paul.   I can still remember your exact words .    

" pointless puppet princess premiere Palaszczuk"   Five words of alliteration is impressive .  How long does it take you to think these up ? 

  Some of the team at the Sky Reply reckon you have a phalanx of highly paid professors of literature working late into the night writing these gems for you .    But not me Paul . I reckon you deserve full credit and recognition . 

  Though I must report ,  my son and budding poet , Ken junior , was  not impressed .   He reckons he came up with wittier names for the school teachers when he and his mates wagged school down by the creek when they were in grade three .   It's not uncommon for a chap to fall prey to self deception when  it comes to recollections of past glories .  So in your defence I challenged Ken junior to come up with  a longer  example of alliteration .

 Straight away he retorted , " I wouldn't waste my time on that presumptuous paunchy profligate prejudice perpetrator porky Paul.  "  

 I didn't think Ken junior would give up so easily Paul , but it looks like you are still the champ. 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference:- Andy Bolt is worried about the economic consequences of China reducing it's coal imports .

Reference :-     China is apparently suspending coal imports from Australia . Andy Bolt couldn't resist blaming environmentists.... I  mean greenies . 

It's like a prophesy come true Andy .    For years progressives have been saying that we need a more diverse economy and shouldn't rely too much on selling coal to China . 

They told us that we were wasting taxpayer's money on subsidies to an unworthy industry.  It looks like they might have been right . 

Well Andy , look on the bright side .  Remember how we were once told that the government was broke and couldn't afford social spending because it would ruin our credit rating ?     Covid has shown that was untrue . We still have the same credit rating despite a massively increased debt due to social spending .

So maybe a reduction in coal exports wouldn't be as bad economically as we fear ?   Coal companies pay less tax than other companies and receive huge sums of taxpayer's money in subsidies . They often pay no royalties , and don't employ anywhere near as many people as they would like us to believe . 

 Don't fret too much Andy . Though maybe you should review your share portfolio .  And don't go too hard on the Chinese , we need their trade .  Just focus on blaming those ungrateful greenies ...somehow . 

 Your comrade , Ken

 

 

Reference:- Political analyst and weather boy Rowan Dean told us that Republicans fear violence from Antifa and the left .

 Reference :-   Young Rowan may have overlooked the recent activities of far right militias  ...and reports from the FBI. 

Rowan , don't forget to scare us about the far right as well as the left . You are overlooking some great material . The FBI reckons there are more than fifty far right extremist organizations in the USA.   All armed to the teeth and angry .  And FBI reports reveal that they are more concerned about these militias than they are about groups like Black Lives Matter , and Antifa , which they say is not even an organization .

You should see the cool monikers  these far right militias have adopted . My favorite is the " Wolverine Watchmen "  , though Ken junior prefers another group called  the "Boogaloo Boys " .  In case you didn't know , " boogaloo " is a euphemism for civil war .  

Law enforcement agencies have their hands full trying to control these violent groups , especially since right wing extremists have managed to recruit quite a few police for their own purposes . But did you see that the FBI  recently saved the Governor of Michigan from being kidnapped by the " Wolverine Watchmen ' ?  

The  wolverines were making bombs in a basement and planned to kidnap the governor  ( a nice lady called Gretchen Whitmer ) and subject her to their own secret trial and subsequent punishment  .   Maybe they were going to issue her  a fine  ....what do you think Rowan ?  And I wonder how many of them were lawyers ?

Governor Gretchen supports measures to reduce violence against women , and I am sure they would have respected that . 

 Anyway Rowan , those particular far right terrorists are in the lockup now , sans bail ,  but that still leaves fifty or more similar  organizations  you can investigate .

 Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- The Sky News anchors are amazed by President Trump's energy and enthusiasm .

 Reference :-   President Trump is bristling with vigour . He told everybody at a recent rally he wanted to kiss them ...even the boys . 

 It certainly is fun watching President Trump while he is so elated .  The polls look bad for him , but he remains totally confident and untroubled .   Jokingly , I posed the question   " What is he on ? " .  It was a rhetorical question , but Gabbo was quick with his response . 

" Dexamethasone ! "  he shouted .  We all knew that , of course . 

  That's just a medication to treat inflammation of the lungs . " I said . 

  " It has side effects . "    Gabbo said . 

   Gabbo then grabbed one his copies  of " The British Journal of Psychiatry  "  and read out the following side effects of dexamethasone .

 1.    Short term euphoria and and hypermania 

 2.    Long term depression and anger . 

  I sure hope that kissing boys today isn't just the calm before the storm should the election go badly . 

  Ken junior wanted to know how Gabbo came to possess copies  of " The British Journal of Psychiatry " , Gabbo said he found them on a stall at the  Kooralya  school fete .    Naturally he didn't actually want to buy them , but they came in the same box with what he really wanted to buy , which was the full set of last year's   "Proceedings of the Royal Entomological society ".

 Your comrade , Ken .

 

  

    

 

 

Reference :- Prime Minister of Australia and closet health fanatic Mr Scott Morrison has cut university funding for humanities degrees .

 Reference :-   Demonstrators at Queensland University threw paint at Prime Minister Scott Morrison , and yelled abuse . Although they were protesting about the detention of asylum seekers , not funding cuts .

Well Mr Morrison , sir , what can one say?   Universities are supposed to be places for our youth to learn,  and grow intellectually .  Except for humanities degrees , obviously . What a waste of money they are .  Little wonder that they produce leftist students who protest against the neccessary inhumanity of indefinite detention .

Ken junior , the pest , keeps telling me that subjects like art and philosophy and literature enrich our culture .   He tells me that Winston Churchill when asked to cut funding for the arts during World War 2  replied    "then what are we fighting for ?"   .  That's the annoying thing about Ken junior , he always quotes raving Marxists these days .  

 Ken junior also says that since we were cave dwellers we have needed art to help nurture our souls , share our experience of life's mysteries and define our place in the universe .   He says that our use of tools is not unknown in the rest of the animal kingdom , but our craving for a cornucopia of artistic expression is far  more unique .  

Well I do agree that despite their struggle to survive our cave dwelling ancestors were still driven to paint and carve and make music and tell stories and philosophize about  the meaning of life .  But Mr Morrison , sir , that was before we invented football or pokies .   Life is different now .  And we have a free market  economy to protect . 

Ken junior pointed out that many of the most influential  people in the world studied the humanities .  But that begs the question  " Did they become successful because they took a humanities degree , or despite taking  one ? "    Perhaps if they had studied something useful instead , like marketing for example , they could have made an even greater contribution to human progress. 

Anyway , here's an idea .  Maybe funding for the arts could be restricted to art for advertising . You know , the design of labels and logos and advertising jingles . And techniques for making political advertisements look like public announcements .  It's as growing field , and to quote the iconic Greek Myth  ,  that would " kill two birds with one stone  ". 

Your comrade , Ken

 

 

 

Reference :- Former Prime Minister , Mr Tony Abbott has finally registered as an agent of foreign influence .

Reference :-   Mr Abbott is now an adviser to the United Kingdom Board of Trade , and has registered as a person of foreign influence .  Who at Sky News wants to run the story?

 To the hardworking truth seekers at Sky News, 

  Last year Sky News reported that it was outrageous to ask redundant Prime Minister , Tony Abbott to pencil his name onto the list of " agents of foreign influence " .   Mr Abbott himself called the request "absurd ".     But that was a few months back, and now he has scored his controversial new job,  he has decided that he is indeed an agent of foreign influence after all .  

Sky News was quite horrified that their beloved and patriotic  Prime Minister  ( unceremoniously ousted ) should ever be listed as an agent of foreign influence .   But now he is . With his own permission . 

As we have pointed out so often , it is a bad look to ignore the story just because it reveals you were wrong .   And the beauty of being 100% wrong is that you don't have to bother with annoying details or complex nuances .   The best way to deal with this is to simply front foot the whole situation and declare your mistake ,  then quickly move on .  But who should run the story ? 

 Peta Credlin could be your choice of presenter, since she has experience in this regard .   Like when she apologized for falsely accusing the South Sudanese in Melbourne of spreading lethal contagion .  But her apologies are a tad too fierce .

 Alan Jones  ( AKA  Frankenjonesie  ) is unlikely to admit he was wrong unless one of his vitriolic rants has unfortunate commercial consequences . 

Rowan Dean , despite his sporty new hairdo , is still just the weather boy and closely associated with the lunatic fringe so he  can't be taken seriously .

Chris Kenny is too preoccupied with his war against the ABC .   He even had a body language  expert ( of sorts ) analyze Media Watch presenter Paul Barry . Apparently the way Mr Barry moves his eyebrows, or something,  proves he is a raving Marxist . This is not the time to distract Chris , since he may soon be investigating the usefulness of phrenology for identifying unionists . 

That pretty much leaves young Andy Bolt  with the job .  His loyalties shift , and this shiftiness means he can criticize Mr Abbott without offending his regular viewers .  Anyway , all Andy has to say is that Mr Abbott's new job has forced him to register as an agent of foreign influence . 

 Andy clearly has experience with working under the influence  himself , so he is your man for the job . 

Your comrade , Ken .

'

 

 

Reference :- Former Liberal Party Minister , Ian Macfarlane claimed that there are 372,000 jobs in the mining and gas sector in Queensland .

 Reference :-    That sure is a lot of jobs , but where does the figure come from ? 

 Sky Reply numbers man , Monte , decided to check the employment figures for the state .  The first source he consulted was the Queensland Resources Council , which sounds like a boring government department run by vapid public servants .     And indeed , the QRC site confirmed the extraordinary figure of 372,000 jobs in the mining and gas sector . 

But then , upon further exploration , Monte discovered  that the Queensland Resources Council is merely a private organisation representing mining interests . The CEO of this organisation is none other than the Honorable  Mr Ian Macfarlane himself .   Furthermore the members of the QRC  are not at all vapid . They fairly bristle with entrepreneurial ardour .  This raised the possibility that the estimate of 372,000 jobs could be a tad optimistic .   

Monte then consulted actual government sources , and found that a figure of 65,000 is more realistic .  

That looks like an overestimation of about 300,000 .   Monte was quick to point out that Energy Minister , Angus Taylor , would call that a simple rounding error , but nonetheless one could easily mistake such an error for self serving propaganda . 

Of course , Mr Macfarlane may be including all the spin off jobs that are indirectly related to the mining and gas sector .  Perhaps that could account for the missing 300,000 ?   Obviously somebody has to clip the miner's hair and sell them food and beer , maybe even cut their grass when they are away from home . 

Its all the big picture I guess .    I explained this spin off jobs thing to the lads at The Sky Reply , and they suddenly broke into laughter and song .    The strange song they sang  ended something like this , if I recall . 

         "  Now the fascinating witches who put the stitches in the britches of the boys who put the powder 

             on the noses of the faces of the ladies of the harem of the court of King Catactacus were just 

            passing by "     

   I looked confused .   Gabbo asked   " Do you get it ? "

                                    " Yeah , I think so. "     I replied . 

 Your comrade ,  Ken .

          

Reference :- Andy Bolt interviewed fellow Sky News anchor Rowan Dean .

Reference :-  Rowan Dean handled a difficult interview with Andy Bolt rather well considering the circumstances . 

Well done Rowan . I like your new hairdo .  A chap's credibility is usefully enhanced by a tidy coiffure and though it was no doubt fun for you to run the shaggy mop look , it doesn't work if you have nothing much to say . 

 That interview with young Andy Bolt was awkward for you Rowan , and there was no disguising the fact .   Andy's dishevelled look and slurred speech were sad indeed , but you did keep a brave face and cut the chap plenty of slack .  Your generous chuckle when Andy couldn't pronounce the word " choreography " almost succeeded in concealing your discomfort .... but not quite . 

I mean for heaven's sake Rowan , if a chap is tired and emotional  he should surely avoid words like "choreography" , which is difficult to articulate at the best of times .  

The lads at the Sky Reply said that your interview reminded them of an incident at the Kooralya bus stop last week .  Monte and Gabbo were waiting for the bus , and a drunk wandered acrosss from the pub and started raving incoherently .  They couldn't tell whether he was being racist or just joking .  The lads had no idea what to say , but humored the chap by smiling awkwardly and laughing when that seemed appropriate .  They could hardly wait to get on the bus and bugger off.    

 Now you have the new hairdo Rowan , you should distance yourself from Andy .  He has had his hour  to strut and fret upon the stage  , and it would not be fair if he compromised your turn in the spotlight during his decline .    If you dust him , we won't think less of you . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

Reference :- Are the fires still blazing in California ?

 Reference :-   Sky News anchor  Chris Kenny recently informed us that the fire season in California is normal  . He hasn't mentioned the fires since . 

Just to fill you in Chris , those fires in California are still incinerating the scenery . Plus about  8 thousand buildings . There are now 8300 fires .  The August Complex fire has consumed 4000 square klms , which makes it the largest ever recorded in the state .   California has endured the five largest conflagrations on record so far this year . 

So Chris , it looks like you were breathtakingly wrong when you suggested that the current fire season is normal, but don't sulk .   You can still retain a semblance of credibility by running a story accusing  leftist greenies of arson and not disposing of their lawn clippings responsibly . But whatever you do , don't mention the 12,000 dry lightning strikes and the record heat waves . 

Apparently Chris ,  many vineyards have suffered from the smoke , which has tainted the grapes .  Farmers have a penchant for complaining every time the weather destroys their livelihoods.  But Ken junior reckons all it takes is some imagination , and smoke flavoured wine could be the next big thing .  

He has suggested some attractive labels  for the bottles .   For example ,    " Burnt Beaujolais " ,  " Smokey Semillon " or " Charred Chablis ".   And for those who enjoy a cigarette with their evening tipple , the same wholesome taste could be enjoyed without the need to light up .  The marketing possibilities are endless .  

A chap like you , Chris , is always on the lookout for a quid , so feel free to pass on Ken junior's suggestion . 

But don't forget to keep us in the loop when something gets listed on the stock exchange . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

 

Reference :- Conspiracy theorists are working overtime as they investigate President Trump's COVID-19 infection .

 Reference :-    The recent Presidential Debate was enough to make anybody sick .

 Dear award winning Sky News anchors with opinions that matter ,

 Many folk are suspicious regarding President Trump's illness .   Is he really sick , or is he pretending ?   And if he really is sick , how sick is he ?  Perhaps he is gravely ill , and only pretending to have mild symptoms  ?  

Then again , perhaps he is not really infected at all, and is trying to win our sympathy as the election approaches ?

There are many unanswered questions to investigate  , and Sky News is just the media outlet for the job .  But here's a tip.  Don't bother asking President Trump himself .   The Washington Post has been keeping a tally of President Trump's lies since he took office .   He passed the 20,000 mark many weeks back , which is a lot of lies by any measure .  The last time I encountered such a tsunami of lies was when Ken junior didn't want me to discover that he was " visiting " the new barmaid at the Kooralya pub every night .

Anyway , see what you can find out . Though I suspect we may never know the truth . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- President Trump has tested postive for COVID-19 , who would have thought ?

Reference :-   Sky News anchorman and whisky connoisseur  , Andy Bolt , analysed the circumstances surrounding President Trump's illness .

Well Andy , President Trump and many of his associates are all clapped up with coronavirus . This has given you a meaty bone to chew over the coming days .  You have a very convoluted style of reasoning  , so the lads at The Sky Reply thought they would run  over your key points as a service to your viewers.   ( judging by their comments , some of them might be a sausage short of a barbie which I am sure you will have noticed . )  

But first , Andy , we need to highlight an error .  Sky New's stated that Michael Moore  (  documentary maker and champion of progressives ) hoped  the President would succumb to the dread disease . This is untrue .  On his regular podcast " Rumble "   Mr Moore  sent the President  his best wishes for a speedy recovery . And no , he was not joking .    I guess this was an honest mistake on the part of Sky News . Disagreeing with somebody's politics is one thing , but lying about them damages your credibilty , something Sky News would never risk . 

It was encouraging when you underscored the swiftness of Mr Trump's apparent recovery . The rest of us can be consoled by the thought that should we get clapped up with contagion , all we need is immediate access to a team of medical specialists , who remain at our side around the clock .  Plus some expensive experimental drugs..... and we will be fine . 

And yes indeed Andy , it was great to see that President Trump is still cruising about in cars to make public appearances.   Many of the usual suspects who accompany him are clapped up too , and nowhere to be seen , but overall the appearance of normality is convincing .   You pointed out that Democratic candidate , Mr Joe Biden , appears in public less frequently than President Trump , always wearing a mask , and he isnt't even sick .   The cazy leftists might try to put some spin on that , and suggest that Mr Biden's behaviour has prevented the spread of contagion to himself and his supporters .   But Andy , where is the logic in that ? 

 To change the subject  , we ran the annual "Kooralya Motocross " competition last weekend . Sky Reply contributor , Monte ( the motorcyclist ) competed .  From the very outset poor Monte was cruelly taunted by his main rival , Charlie , because he didn't lap the track quite as fast as Charlie during practice .  Charlie laughed at Monte and blurted  "  I have crashed sixteen times , written off 8 motorcycles and have plates in 9 of my bones , but I can still lap two seconds faster than you , and you have never even crashed ".    It bothers me when sports events become too personal  Andy , though young Monte took it is his stride . 

Anyway Andy ,  that's all the news for now .  I have to run into town and collect Monte's trophy from the engraver  , and then drop by to visit young Charlie while it is still visiting hours at intensive care .

 Your comrade , Ken . 

References :- Reference :- Sky News' puppet , Chris Kenny , continued his war against the ABC .

Reference :-   Young Chris Kenny is particularly angered by what he considers to be the outrageous salary of Media Watch host , Paul Barry .  He did go on about it quite a bit . 

That sure is a lot of money , I mean taxpayers money , Chris .   Indeed , I think you mentioned a salary of 200, 000 quid once or thrice , or more . And as you point out , that is taxpayers money too .  In fact it is 200,00 quid each year  .  Of our taxpayers money .  And where is it going ?   Straight into the pocket of Paul Murray , that's where .   And as you reminded us  , that is 200,000 quid every year ... and the money comes straight out of our taxes .   

It sure is a disgraceful , receiving that much baksheesh to run a show which is so obviously partisan .  I assume your stipend is somewhat less than  Paul's  200, 000  quid , and you have always remained meticulously impartial in all your presentations .  Furthermore , apart from not being paid 200,000 quid  ( and that's every year )   your remuneration is not at the expense of taxpayers ,  I mean hardworking taxpayers who never watch the ABC anyway . 

When you pay a chap such an outrageous honorarium  (   I refer to the figure of 200,000 each and every annum ) you can be sure he is only doing his job for the filthy lucre .   And where does that leave room for professional journalism Chris ?  

Anyway Chris , Ken junior tells me that our government has slipped 40 million quid into the pockets  of Fox Sport recently .   That may be two hundred times Paul Murray's salary ( which is 200,000 per annum if you recall ) , but the country needs sport as a distraction . The last thing we need is people watching ABC programs that stimulate critical thinking . 

Your comrade , Ken 

 

 

Reference :- The lads at The Sky Reply have been a bit silly .

 Reference :-     The lads at The Sky Reply  made an interesting observation concerning bombastic Sky News anchor, Chris Kenny . 

 No offense meant Chris , but Sky Reply contributor , Monte , made an interesting observation last night .  He noticed that if the sound is turned off , watching your movements as you launch into your trademark diatribes is just like watching the marionettes in the classic TV show " Thunderbirds " .   As I said , we are sure you will accept this observation in good humour , since you never tire of cracking jokes about the hairdos of world leaders, or the cuts of  their jibs . 

Anyway , before we all burst into laughter again  , we must tell you try this .   Watch one of your recent broadcasts  sans sound , and ask a few mates to invent some  dialogue from " Thunderbirds " .   Here are a couple of suggestions from the lads 

" Tell Virgil to prepare Thunderbird 2 for takeoff  !"

" Wait Alan , I'm afraid Brains and Lady Penelope have gone missing ! "

 " Thunderbird 4 has lost contact !"

 It is absolutely hilarious Chis , and though we made  a joke of your news segment , it didn't cause us to view you differently when we turned the sound back on . 

And don't become self conscious , we need a few good belly laughs in these troubled times .  

 Thunderbirds are go !       Your comrade , Ken