Reference:- There is much discussion about world famous Prime Minister , Scott Morrison , and his penchant for lies .

Reference :-  Scott Morrison didn't invent mendacity  , but he certainly appears to have broken a few records for it's use . 

Dear Mr Morrison , 

Why would anybody think you are a brazen , cowardly  blame shifting liar who uses his wife and children as a shield ?    You claim you have  never lied to the public , and that is good enough for me . 

Sadly , some folk ( umpteen million of them and most of the media ) accuse you of lying when you made that claim .  For heaven's sake , how can you win ? 

Anyway , regardless of whether you lie your head off or not , as a marketing genius you will be well aware that it doesn't matter if you tell a lie . What matters is public perception . If  public opinion has cast you as a liar , you have a problem , even if you are as honest as a Hillsong Pastor . 

And here is the problem , which I must leave you to addresss.    Ken junior took the time to google " Scott Morrison lie "  . He then did the same for a variety of memorable world leaders , and was thus able to make a comparison .. 

  Ben Chifley  ( our first post WW2  Prime Minister ). ....scored 240 ,000 hits . 

  Gough Whitlam ( the only Prime Minister of Australia sacked from office ).....  scored 950,000 hits 

  President Richard Nixon  ( AKA as tricky dicky of Watergate fame ).... scored 13 million hits . 

 Boris Johnson  ( who liked  painting his lies on the sides of buses ).... scored 26 million hits. 

 Vladimir Putin    ( the western public view him as  a corrupt dictator  ) .... scored 27 million hits . 

  Scott Morrison   ( AKA as Scotty from marketing or Scomo ) .. scored 33 million hits . 

However you look at it , you have a problem with public perception . 

 The media will hammer you with this fact in the lead up to the next election , and disenfranchising many leftie voters by introducing legislation to deal with non existent voter fraud won't save your bacon . 

 But here are a few responses  you might find helpful when you are accused of lying . 

 " I don't accept that at all. " .  

 " That's a lie " 

 " People abuse me all the time , but I have broad shoulders . " 

 " I don't like  leaders of other countries calling Australians liars . " 

 " My wife and children don't think I am a liar . " 

  Other than that , all you can do now is concentrate on scaring the great unwashed into voting for you with   ..... errrrr ...... more lies .

But  what the heck . As they say , " In for a penny , in for a pound . " 

 Your comrade , Ken . 

    

Reference :- We have not been told much about the so called AUKUS alliance .

Reference :-  We also know next to nothing about the proposed nuclear submarine contract that is a foundation stone of the AUKUS  alliance . 

Feeling lazy today , I decided to ask Ken junior to fill us in about the AUKUS alliance to save me the trouble of researching the subject . 

" Do you know anything  about AUKUS ? " ,   I said . 

" As much as anybody , which is bugger all . " ,  Ken junior said . 

 " Well tell me what you think . " , I said . 

 "  Well basically I think  awkward , toothless , anachronistic , a threat to nobody and over-reliant on submarine activity . "   , Ken junior said . 

 " Anything else? " , I said . 

 " Can't be expected to fly for long . " , Ken junior said . 

  " Wait on , you must have misheard me .  I said AUKUS , not AUKS . "  ,  I said .

 "  I heard you . " ,  Ken junior said . 

Your comrade , Ken 

 

Reference :- Sky mouthpiece and occassional ice age weather boy Rowan Dean is horrified by 'loaded language " .

Reference :-  Loaded language offends young Rowan  .... except when his own team uses it .  

Dear Rowan , 

                          You certainly were quick to notice that the ABC  , sorry , I mean the taxpayer funded ABC,   has resorted to using " loaded language .  This is the kind of thing that can go unnoticed , so we applaud you for drawing the problem to our attention .  As a taxpayer funded media outlet they must eschew loaded language .  Sky News also benefits from taxpayer subsidies to the tune of millions of quid , and realising it's obligations , your company has set the standard in this regard .  You would never resort to manipulating public opinion by normalising loaded language  like the ABC ... I mean the taxpayer funded ABC ... does. 

After pondering your insightful revelation , we have noticed that loaded language is now very widespread .  One can't help but wonder how this sorry state of affairs arose .   Who do you think might have started it  Rowan ? Ken junior has drafted a list of possible culprits . It's by no means complete , but you have to start somewhere .  And here it is , quoted from the archives of Sky News .

 1.     " the taxpayer funded ABC "

 2.      "climate alarmists "

 3.     "sleepy Joe Biden"

 4.     "chairman  Dan Andrews"   ( AKA "deadly Dan " )

 5.    'woke greenies " (  which would include " the latte sipping inner city " cohort  )

6.      "virtue signalers "

7.     "marxists of the new world order "

8.     " brain dead lefties "

9.    " hysterical pandemic promoting socialists " 

10.  " old testament prophet ( and fool ) Sir David Attenborough  " 

There are many more likely candidates Rowan .  Ken junior reckons Peta Credlin deserves a mention .  She invented the term " carbon tax " to describe the proposed emissions trading scheme prior to a federal election .    It worked wonders  as a scare tactic , and she subsequently admitted that she knew the term was completely misleading , stating  " It was never a carbon tax. " .   

Recently she has started a fresh carbon tax scare , and doubtless it will work again . But let's keep quiet about that , since she is on our team . 

Your comrade ,  Ken . 

P.S.     How is the ice age coming along ?  We have found a couple of good sites for Igloos and are keen to get started , but a chap can't build an igloo out of dust .

Reference :- Apparently our leaders have been telling a lot of lies lately .

 Reference :-  World leaders are accusing each other of lying about everything from phonecalls to submarine contracts . 

Lies are all the fashion in politics these days .  Perhaps they started to become more fashionable when the American presidents began telling major porkies .  I mentioned this to Ken junior . 

" Decades ago the presidents of the USA started telling major lies . ", I said . 

" Lies about what ? " , Ken junior said . 

" Mostly the location of things . They all did it . Richard Nixon lied about the location of tapped phone recordings. Ronald Reagan lied about the CIA being in Nicaragua  .  George Bush lied about the location of weapons of mass destruction . Barack Obama lied about what happened in Benghazi . " , I said . 

 "What did Clinton lie about the location of ? " , Ken junior said . 

" His DNA . " , I said . 

" Oh what a tangled web we weave , when first we practice to deceive . " , I said . 

 " But when we do it for a bit , we really get quite good at it . " , Ken junior said . 

  Sadly , he might be right .

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- The Sky Reply has offered a job to Alan Jones .

Reference:-   Although he has been made redundant by the Sky News executives , there is a job available for Alan Jones here at the Sky Reply . 

Dear Alan , 

                       It's utterly ridiculous . Who could believe that you have been unceremoniously thrown on the scrap heap by the shortsighted management at Sky News .  You have got to wonder how many towns are missing their village idiot . As far as we are concerned the whole incompetent motley crew at Sky News management are off their tree and should be rowed out to sea and thrown overboard in a chaff bag . Well it wont be long before those overpaid elites discover they are out of touch with the average aussie and that they have made a big mistake pandering to the lefist woke brigade and those science denying climate alarmists . "Go woke , go broke " is the saying isn't it ? I think it speaks strongly of your integrity the way you have accepted their decision like a man and rejected their pathetic offer of some piddling job on a program that gets fewer views than repeat episodes of The Phyllis Diller Show . We certainly will miss your energetic no holds barred presentations.  Sure , you occasionally overstep the bounds of some ridiculous code of conduct which was probably installed during one of Labor's catastrophic stints at the helm of the nation , but at least you tell it like it is . And despite the occasional appearance in court and a few legal fees you have still managed to stash away millions of  quid for your retirement . And good on you . It goes to show that in this country you can start with nothing and still get rich if you work your guts out and pal up with a few billionaire entrepreneurs instead of relying on government handouts that the rest of us  have to pay for .  And no need to be obsequious about it , not in a country like ours .  But sadly I say , and I will say it again , even though none of the morons ever listen , this country is going down the tube faster than the 7 am train to Piccadilly Circus . And you can quote me on that . But Alan we know you still want a job in the media . Its not the money , vulgar wealth has never impressed you , it's your need to have a voice.  And the country also needs your voice since nobody can do a presentation that replicates your unique style . Peta Credlin tries hard , but when it's needed most but she lacks your feminine touch . Why not consider working for The Sky Reply out here in Kooralya where the real Aussies , the quiet Australians , reside ?   There are no latte sipping inner city greenies out here and we would welcome you at our  chapter of the rural worker's club . Gabbo  said he reckons you always have been a country member and  you can get back to your roots .  At least I think that is what he said . The pay may not be great , but that's not the point is it ?  We may lack some of the facilities you are accustomed to , but I am sure that if you whispered in the ears of a few rich mates they would happily knock up a casino for you here as a tribute , which would do wonders for the local economy . Seriously Alan , a tree change will do you good . Let us know when you are ready and we can discuss the terms of the contract . The verandah sleepout  is already set up , but remember to bring your own Remington and a few spare ribbons . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- Shock jock Alan jones has been sacked .

 

 Reference :-   It looks like Alan Jones won't be seen on Sky News from the end of this month . 

Dear hard working management at Sky News , 

Here at the Sky Reply we are quite worried about your YouTube channel .   You have just sacked Alan Jones , and we fear that Peta Credlin and Andrew Bolt may soon join him on the dole queue. 

A chap can't help but wonder if the sacking has anything to do with that Senate inquiry into the media and the recent temporary ban imposed on Sky News for spreading misinformation .   But if so , there are other ways you could address the issue . 

For starters , it was probably a mistake calling the program " Sky News " in the first place .  That moniker implies that the viewer has tuned into an actual news service , which is simply not the case .   On the other hand , calling the program  " Sky Capitalist Propaganda " lacks appeal , even though it is a more honest description . 

Before you toss any more employees on the scrap heap , perhaps a marketing guru can come up with a better name . It's no good asking Scotty from marketing , since now he has become the Prime Minister   his hands are full placating the fossil fuel lobbyists .  But Ken junior has come up with a few names that you may wish to consider . And here they are . 

1.   " The Sky Comedy Hour  " 

 2.     " Rowan Dean's Laugh-In . " 

2.   "  Not the Eight  O'clock News . "   

4.   "  Peta Credlin's Flying Circus " 

5.    " Yes Senator " 

6.    " The Not So Young Ones ".

7.   " Gripping Yarns " . 

The possibilities are endless .  Nobody could accuse you of spreading misinformation again if you present Sky News as a comedy show . 

Since we thought of it first , a significant donation to The Sky Reply would be appreciated.  Naturally the money won't go to me but will be spent  on infrastructure  (probably  rooftop solar panels and an electric ute ) .  Like you , we are ideologically opposed to extravagant executive bonuses .

Your comrade , Ken . 

P.S.  Send cash , it saves a lot of paperwork when we submit our quarterly BAS to the tax office .

 

Reference :- Australia's political leaders keep asking the same question about the transition to renewable energy .

Reference :-   Our leaders keep asking " Who is going to pay for the transition to renewables ? " 

This does seem  to be  a difficult question . But Gabbo said we should approach it logically by compiling a list of those who might be able to pony up for the invoice .   At first the list was rather long , and nebulous , and at times downright silly .  For example , clearly we can't expect Martians to pay  .  Monte suggested that we could ask God , but judging from the way he needs millions of folk to pass the donations tray around every Sunday , he is obviously a bit short of funds himself . 

Ken junior suggested the oft mentioned "future generations" , but who knows how cashed up they are likely to be  .... or how many will actually exist ?

I suggested " the government "  , but  Gabbo reminded me that the government only has the money it raises from taxes .  

" The government only has the money it raises from taxes . " , Gabbo said . 

"  But the government can print as much money as it likes  . " ,  I said 

" That money always ends up concealed within shell companies in the Cayman Islands ." , Gabbo said . 

Anyway , to cut to the chase , we ended up with a greatly simplified list of possible sources of funds to deal with climate change .  And here it is . 

1 .   The rich . 

2.   The poor . 

 Gabbo grabbed his biro and crossed out  ' The poor " . 

" Hang on Gabbo . We agreed to discuss this . Why have you dismissed the poor so quickly ? " , I said . 

" Because they can't afford it.  " ,  Gabbo said . 

 " The rich won't be pleased about picking up the tab . "  ,  I said . 

" Nonagga maroo . " , Gabbo said .   

Gabbo has a penchant for expressing his most profound thoughts in his native tongue. 

" What does that mean ? " ,  I said . 

"  It means ' stiff shit ' . ",  Gabbo said . 

 Gabbo's appraisal may be brief , but it is surprisingly complete . 

 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

 

 

 

Reference :- Internationally revered Prime Minister, Scott Morrison , has finally accepted that climate change is a thing .

Reference :-  But he has no plan to address the problem . 

Dear Mr Morrison, 

                                Thank heavens you have decided that the climate change issue is a real threat .   Not so much a threat to humanity , but a threat to your chances at the next election if you don't pretend to be concerned . Naturally the canny among us know you wouldn't give a rat's arse to protect the environment . That is God's domain .  But the great unwashed may vote you out in a few months if you don't fake concern . 

Of course , that will involve plenty of bragging about your emissions reduction plan .  Ken junior , the cheeky bugger , calls it   " the emperor's new emission's reduction plan . "  You may recall that in the clever fairy tale an emperor headed a parade naked , while the poor peasants were tricked into believing he was all garbed out in splendid attire .

Anyway Mr Morrison , I told Ken junior it was disrespectful to imagine you walking naked like that and his analogy was ridiculous .  You may be wearing the aforementioned imaginary " new  clothes " , but you are not at the head of the climate action parade .  In fact you are not in the climate action parade at all .  You simply don't have time for parades now that you are busy with all your plans . 

Not plans for emissions reduction , of course , but marketing plans for the looming election . Thankfully you can rely on lobbyists from the fossil fuel industry and the corporate media to convince everybody you are striving towards a 2050 net zero goal , which relieves you from that annoying distraction .  Of course , you may have to slip them a few quid in subsidies , but who needs to know about that ?  

Happy campaigning 

Your comrade , Ken .