Reference:- In an interview on Sky News , we were told nobody in the world makes an electric ute .

Reference:-  Deputy leader of the opposition , Sussan Ley  , claimed that nobody in the world makes an electric ute . Sky News is unlikely to make a correction , so we will.

Dear Sussan , 

                             If you don't like something , it is unwise to pretend it doesn't exist .  Sadly electric utes are made by several manufacturers , and Ford 's electric ute  ( F-150 Lightening ) is so popular it sold out two years production in 48 hrs . 

Ken junior reckons you were not just pretending electric utes don't exist , and that you simply had not done your research .  I have always encouraged Ken junior to think the best of folk , and it is kind of him to give you the benefit of the doubt .  As a public figure it is better to be caught talking garbage than straight out lying .   Poor Mr Morrison found out about that the hard way and we should all take a lesson from that . 

Anyway Sussan , in case  somebody asks again , I have taken the liberty of providing you with some vital statistics regarding Ford's electric ute so you can pretend to be knowledgeable on the subject . 

The F-150 has a 500klm range . It can tow 4 ton .  During a blackout it can power your house for 3 days . It can run all your power tools at a worksite .  It produces 563 horsepower and accelerates to 100klm/hr in under 5 seconds .   

I must say those are impressive figures . They certainly put my 1970  Holden ute to shame .  Mind you , I do love my ute and so does the dog .  I bought it new from the local Holden dealer back in the day , and paid extra for the model with armrests on the door panels . 

  As it turned out I far prefer to drive with my elbow resting on the open window sill , so that was a waste of fifty quid .   Then again ,  the dog stands on the passenger side armrest so he can hang his head out the window and loll his tongue  the breeze , so I suppose it was worth it .  Despite the rising cost of petrol I expect it will see me out .  That is , it should see me out as long as  Ken junior learns how to operate the column shift without crunching the bloody gears all the time . 

Happy motoring , 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Sky News has fallen upon hard times .

Reference:-  Sky News is wallowing in the doldroms , maybe another  court case  is what they need .

Dear cutting edge journalists at Sky News , 

                                                                              For the love of God , what is wrong in the once bustling studios of Sky News ?   Since the lads at the Sky Reply first started penning their support we have seen nothing but a steady and shabby decline in your standards .   Jonesie is gone , Peta Credlin seems to be hiding much of the time ,  young Rowan Dean's prematurely furrowed brow is absent from climate reports ,  Andy Bolt keeps changing his mind concerning which far right opinions he categorically supports ,  and the master of disagreeability  , Chris Kenny ,  is starting to disagree with his own team on serious issues .

It's time to pull yourselves together  !

 Sure , you were wrong about .... errr .... pretty much everything .    Mr Trump , Mr Morrison and Mr Johnson are all history ( except of course for the continuing legal investigations ) ,  climate change has gone gangbusters ,  you were temporarily  banned for spreading misinformation and your key anchors have been in court more often than Perry Mason  .  But you must move on from these minor setbacks .

   Reading between the lines , Ken junior has subtly insinuated that my last analogy is flawed  , since Perry Mason won his cases .  

 " Your last analogy is flawed . Perry Mason won his cases . " , Ken junior said .

 " The really big court case between the Murdochs and the news platform  Crikey is about to kick off  . Crikey is being sued for defamation ", I said .

"  The Murdochs can't win that .",  Ken junior said . 

 " How can you be so sure ? " , I said 

"  Murdoch's crew defame people all the time . Ask Dangerous Dan Andrews , Sleepy Joe Biden  , Each Way Albo , Comrade Rudd  .. .and all  the others  . Plus Lachlan Murdoch himself , who raged against Sky News being banned for telling lies , is on record as saying we need more freedom of speech in Australia since we have a culture of litigation that needs to be curbed  . " , Ken junior said . 

" The beak won't be considering any of that when he reaches his verdict . "  , I said

" Well if they win in court , the dirty laundry exposed will make them the losers in the public's eyes anyway ... and that is the verdict that counts most . " , Ken junior said 

  As much as I hate to admit it , the lad could be right for once . 

 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- The Sky Reply jumped the gun with the last post .

Reference:-   It seems that Mr Morrison had five secret jobs , not three .  

Mr Morrison spent an hour on the tele explaining his actions ...in convoluted ways .  He sounded much like Ken junior did when he explained why he took three hours , and why he used a tank of petrol , when he borrowed the ute to slip down to the Kooralya Post Office .  Although Mr Morrison was more petulant and less convincing .

Ken junior laughed his head off . 

" Morrison just spent an hour digging himself a deeper grave .  " , Ken junior said . 

" Even Sky News is disgusted with him . ", Gabbo said 

" Do you think there will be more shocking revelations ? "  , I said 

" Yeah I think so .....  For the love of God stop laughing so loudly Gabbo . " , Ken junior said . 

 It would be wise for Mr Morrison to limit the duration of his press conferences  . After an hour manufacturing  explanations a chap is inclined to forget the details of any recollections he has .....err ...disclosed . 

Your comrade  , Ken

 

 

Reference :- Apparently former PM, Mr Scott Morrison , was more than just leader of his party .

Reference :-  While in the top job ,  Mr Morrison secretly made himself the Minister of three portfolios . 

Dear Mr Morrison , Sir , 

                                          The media in this country are a disgrace . Despite all the crises afflicting the nation since you left office , they have chosen to focus on something trivial in your leadership style which has recently come to light .   I refer , of course , to the fact that you appointed yourself minister of three portfolios .  The media call these " secret appointments " , but just because you told nobody about them doesn't mean you were being secretive .   The top job is demanding , and there is little time to be bothered with unnecessary rigmarole.    Especially if you are taking on three additional jobs at the same time .  It amazes me that you had the energy to cope with four jobs, I guess some of them could be done over the phone if you were  on a beach in Hawaii  (also  supposedly secretly ... for heaven's sake . ) or whatever .  

Anyway Mr Morrison , it might be a good idea to front foot it and explain the situation publicly .   You say that you don't do daily politics anymore , and fair enough .  When a chap loses half his salary you can't expect him to do his job anymore .  Being the member for Cook is not a well paid job , and not worth your effort .  Besides , you have a mortgage and school fees to worry about so why would you turn up at work every day ?

Nonetheless , a brief appearance on the tele to explain yourself is the right thing to do . It will look better on your resume when you jump ship and abandon the ungrateful Tories and those who elected you .  Especially if you are thinking of a job in church circles.    Honorable behaviour is a prerequisite for highly paid jobs in tax free cults . 

 Be sure to remind everybody that it was only 3 out of 19 minister roles that you awarded yourself .   That casts  the whole matter in a better light  . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- Former Deputy Premier of NSW , Mr John Barilaro is unwell today .

Reference :-  Mr Barilaro was too ill to attend part two of the parliamentary inquiry regarding his possible breaches of ministerial standards . 

We were all snuggled up in front of the tele at 10.00 am this morning , coffees in hand , eager to watch Mr Barilaro further explain to a parliamentary inquiry that his ministerial report card was free of any blemishes .   Sadly he didn't show , and we are told he is unwell . 

Ken junior is inclined to be a tad cynical for a lad of tender years . 

"  Ha.  Barilaro just faked a sickie to avoid appearing . ",  Ken junior said . 

 " That is an unkind thing to say .  If he claims he is sick , then no doubt he is sick . " ,  I said . 

 "  Don't tell me you believe him. " , Ken junior said . 

 "  If you had paid attention , you would have noticed that he didn't look very well at the first hearing .  Didn't you see how sweaty his forehead was while he struggled to answer  all those questions ?  He was obviously already becoming sick . " , I said . 

  " Or he hadn't taken enough Inderal . ", Ken junior said . 

  " What's Inderal ? " , I said 

  "  It's a Beta blocker " ,  Ken junior said . 

  " Oh ,  that  Inderal . " ,  I said .  Knowingly . 

    Anyway, I had better jump on the interweb and look up this Inderal stuff before Ken junior is on to me . 

Your comrade , Ken .

  

Reference :- Many folk seem to change their minds quickly these days .

 Reference :-  I wonder if that means they don't think things through carefully before they blab on ?

 

A few days back young Andy Bolt told us he thought Ms Nancy Pelosi had proved that the Chinese government was weak by visiting Taiwan in an act of political defiance .  Now he tells us that the Chinese government is frighteningly aggressive and has gone " feral " with all manner of military drum beating    

A few days back the United States Department of State informed us that the world is now a safer place following the killing ... sorry ,  I mean " taking out " of the 71 year old head of Al-Qaeda.  Now they tell us that we are less safe amid fears of reprisal . 

Not long ago US military experts were advising that it would be a mistake to allow Sweden and Finland to join NATO , since it would escalate tensions with Russia .  Now that the US Senate has overwhelmingly voted for Sweden and Finland to join NATO , military experts claim their membership is vital for the geopolitical stability of the region . In fact , they even claim that expanding NATO will also improve  the stability of the Asia- Pacific as China observes the resolve of the West . 

Ken junior reckons these actions are likely to provoke wars ....sorry , I mean  " kinetic responses" . 

Thankfully we have plenty of weapons manufacturers ... sorry , I mean " defense contractors "  in our ranks , so we have nothing to fear . Especially if any kinetic responses happen on somebody else's real estate .  

Realistically , everybody has had enough of the boring old " climate wars " .   Let's face it , half baked climate wars  are pretty dull compared to your fair dinkum bona fide blitzkrieg .   And if you want to boost the listless world economy you can't beat a good ' kinetic response ' for making some bucks  .

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference:- Sky Anchor, Peta Credlin , strongly approved of the assassination of Ayman al -Zawahiri .

 Reference :-  Let's hope that killing Al -Qaeda's leader doesn't have unforeseen consequences .

Dear Peta , 

                   We all like seeing a bad guy killed . Or to use your words   " taken out " , which is the favoured  expression these days .   (  In the old days  " taken out " used to mean a date  at the movies , or the local Wimpy Bar , but then it all changed during the Mafia movie craze of the seventies . )  Sure , Mr Zawahiri might have been a doctor in his early life , but strangely he then went feral without the slightest provocation and we will shed no tears for him .

At first I was a bit confused to hear that Mr Zawahiri had been whacked , because there was a news report two years ago saying he was dead , but obviously this latest update will be the most reliable .  As yet there is no proof he is dead ( you know , DNA and such ) but that is just a formality . 

It sure is impressive the way they were able to snuff the guy without anybody else in Kabul being injured . Clearly we learnt a lot when we accidentally killed all those Afghan  school kids in that minibus a few months back , and our defense technology has improved greatly since then . Clearly there was no chance of collateral damage this time .

Anyway Peta , Ken junior did express concern that Mr Zawahiri's son in law , Ayman , might be upset enough to plot some kind of revenge .   I had never heard of young Ayman , but don't imagine he would be the type to hold a grudge .  I mentioned this to Ken junior. 

" I have never heard of young Ayman , but don't imagine he would be the type to hold a grudge . " , I said 

" In Afghanistan they call him ' the general manager of terror ' . " ,  Ken junior said . 

 " I reckon that is probably an ironic reference . " , I said 

 Gabbo then spoke . 

 " According to Gandhi , an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind .",  Gabbo said . 

"  What are you raving about Gabbo ? Gandhi was an Indian , not an Afghan . " , I said . 

 That's the trouble with the young ones these days , they don't know the lessons of  history . 

 Your comrade , Ken