Reference :- We don't have much choice in the looming election .

 Reference :-   Why is our choice of Prime Minister limited to two people ? 

Ken junior asked an odd question at breakfast this morning . 

" How come we have a couple of hundred choices of breakfast cereal at the supermarket , but only two choices for an important job like Prime Minister ?  What if I don't like either of them ? "   Ken junior said . 

  I poured some cornflakes into my bowl . 

" Don't ask stupid questions , and pass me the milk . ",  I explained  

 There is no point in talking with the lad when he asks stupid questions ,  but Gabbo spoke up anyway . 

 "  My cousin Helen is a preschool teacher . " , Gabbo said . 

" So what ?. "   Ken junior said . 

 Gabbo then revealed cousin Helen's technique for dealing with young children , as follows.... 

" Imagine you have a young boy , let's call him little Joe Average , who is sick of the lesson and starts making a lot of noise by banging on his toy drum and you want him to stop . Cousin Helen will say 'Now Joe , where do you want to put the toy drum ? Do you want to put it in the cupboard or in the toy box  ? '  Little Joe will look a bit confused , but not being able to reason the matter through completely , will think it over , and then put the toy drum in either the cupboard or the toy box .  ' There's a good boy . ' , Helen will say. Mission accomplished . ", Gabbo said

" What has that got to do with anything ? " ,  I said . 

 Gabbo just looked at me . 

 " Who are you going to vote for ? ", Ken junior said .

 " I am still thinking it over . Pass me the sugar . " , I said . 

Your comrade , Ken 

Reference :- Sky News political analyst , Chris Kenny , seems to have lost his popularity .

Reference :-   Young Chris Kenny is a key component in the LNP propaganda machine . 

Dear Chris , 

                      We can 't help but notice that you are failing in your role as a key component in Mr Morrison's propaganda machine . Your segments on Sky News have been receiving between and 20 and 50 thumbs up of late .   There are more than 17 million citizens enrolled to vote this year , in case you were not aware .

I am sure you can see  that 20 to 50 thumbs up for your blatant propaganda is not likely to push Mr Morrison across the line in the looming election . 

Many folk  ( although I must confess , nobody at The Sky Reply  )  have said that they did once hold some  measure of respect for you as a journalist , but they can no longer bear watching you sacrifice your credibility each night on Sky News .... for nothing .  It is time for you to reassess the direction of your career .

 I offer this advice in good faith . Sometimes even the most ethical and honest journalists among us can lose their way . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference:- Who will win the looming election ?

 Reference :-  There are only two contenders in the federal election . 

 We have a team of four here at the Sky Reply . And we are divided into two camps regarding who we believe will be victorious in the looming election .  Two of us anticipate a win by one side , and two of us anticipate a win by the other .  

We have a bet running , and the two who picked the winner won't have to wash the dishes for an entire month . 

 With such high stakes , we thought it wise to keep a written record of who chose which contender .  So here it is .  

 Monte and I think the winner will be the Murdoch media . 

 Gabbo and Ken junior think the winner will be the ABC  . 

It will be close , for sure . But no matter which way it goes , we do look forward to hearing all about the government's policies once the election is over .

 Your comrade , Ken 

Reference :- Those who were selected as " Australian of the Year " recently don't seem to like the Prime Minister .

Reference :-  Australian of the year for 2022 has been critical of the Prime Minister . 

Dear Mr Morrison, sir , 

                                            After encountering all that flak from last year's Australian of the Year , Grace Tame , we hoped you would have a better run this year .  But the latest recipient of that award , Dylan Alcott , has also started moaning about you and the year has hardly begun . 

For heaven's sake, who picks these ingrates ?  It's too late now , but next time the award should go to somebody who admires you .   OK , such folk are not readily found , but Sky anchor Paul Murray is an obvious choice .

As you well know ,  you could always bribe somebody to pretend that they admire you , but why waste taxpayer's money when I am sure Paul would do it for free. 

Of course , you would need to think of a reason for Paul to be nominated .  I reckon you could say that it was important to show all Australians that we have a society which is inclusive for  know- all sufferers of deplorable obesity .  In these woke times you could get away with that no worries . 

Your comrade  , Ken

Reference :- The result of the leadership debate has been analysed by Sky News .

Reference :-    For those who missed the leadership debate , the result can be found on Sky News . 

At the end of the debate the audience voted .

 Mr Morrison scored 35 votes . 

Mr Albanese scored 40 votes .   

As Sky News explained , this is counts as a draw , with the advantage going to Mr Morrison , who performed flawlessly . 

This is a new usage of the word " draw " with which I am not familiar .  

Thankfully, as always ,  we can rely on Sky News to give their unbiased appraisal . 

 

Your comrade , Ken  

 

Reference :- Feisty Sky News presenter , Chris Kenny , warned us of an evil plot .

Reference  :-    Chris Kenny is horrified by the number of independent candidates running in the looming election .

Dear Chris , 

                      It sure shocked us to hear that there are a couple of hundred independent candidates  running in the looming election .  Furthermore , you explained that they are only running  because they want to unseat the coalition government .   Who would have thought ?   Thank heavens you have revealed this sneaky plot to the great unwashed .  

Everybody seems to have forgotten the real purpose of election , which is to reconfirm the credentials of the Tories , and allow them a platform to explain why we must work harder  for less  pay and accept cutbacks in social services for the sake of " the market"  . 

I am not sure what " the market " is exactly , but it fills my heart with fear whenever I hear that it might react badly .  

These independents are a threat to democracy Chris , and who knows how " the market " might react if they are elected . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- Not everybody was eager to watch the leaders debate on Sky News .

Reference :-   Contributing editor at The Sky Reply , Monte ,  was told to watch the recent leaders debate on Sky News . 

 

It's been awhile since young Monte has watched the news . He has been fitting new piston rings to his motorcycle and is totally obsessed with that particular project  . We figured that meant he could approach the leaders debate free of prejudice . 

" We want you to watch the leaders debate tonight , Monte . " , I said. 

" I 'd rather finish installing the new piston rings into the Yamaha . ",  Monte said . 

" Be that as it may , we want you watch the debate and tell us who you think is best fit to run the country ."  ,  I said . 

 " I am more interested in the best fit of my piston rings . ",  Monte said . 

" For the love of God Monte , can you just forget about your bloody piston rings  for a few minutes and watch the debate ? " , I said . 

Monte wiped the grease off his hands , cracked a beer , and  reluctantly slouched on the sofa  . 

When the debate ended , Monte was silent and sullen .  Five empty beer cans lay beside him . 

 " Well say something Monte . " , I said 

" Like what ? " , Monte said . 

 " Like how did Morrison and Albanese perform in the debate ? " , I said . 

" I could run rings around both of them . " , Monte said . 

 More will follow when Monte sobers up . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

Reference :- Speaking as the Prime Minister , Scott Morrison explained that Australia does not have a corruption problem. .

 Reference :-   Let's look at the Transparency International corruption index  and see how Australia has moved in the ratings . 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                         The media do go on about corruption a lot of late . All they need to do is look at the statistics . Since your government snatched  the reins of power we have only slipped from 7th to 18th on Transparency International's corruption index.  .   That still sees us in  the top twenty for integrity , which is pretty good considering there are so many Labor politicians in the country .  

Anyway Mr Morrison , we have also fallen to 25th in the world for freedom of speech , and I reckon if we let our integrity rating drop down to 25th as well , everything will seem nicely balanced .  And easier to remember .

I have no idea how we can achieve this change in our rating , but if you win in the looming election I am sure you will think of something . 

Your comrade , Ken .

                                       

Reference : - Caustic Sky presenter, Chris Kenny , displays a growing contempt for the ABC .

 Reference : -  Chris Kenny rarely mentions the ABC per se .  However he often does refer to an entity called  "the taxpayer funded ABC " . 

Dear Chris , 

                      Without doubt , as you regularly remind us , the ABC is partly taxpayer funded .  It must be tough working for the Murdoch media empire , which has to stand on it's own two feet without the taxpayer shelling out to cover some overheads . 

Sure , there was that 50 million  quid ( of taxpayer's money  ) that Mr Murdoch received to discourage him from closing down more than 100 local newspapers .  But he closed them down anyway , so obviously he would have given that money back .

Then there was the 40 million quid that the government gave Sky News to subsidise their TV subscription service .  But at the same time the government cut the budget of the  ABC by another 84 million , so there was a net gain for the taxpayer . 

Ken junior reminded me that a few years back the Australian Tax Office gave Mr Murdoch an 880 million quid tax refund which related to an accounting technicality with a shell company in Bermuda .   Of course , that hardly counts as government funding does it ?   If the tax office can't afford better lawyers than Mr Murdoch , whose fault is that ? 

Anyway , you needn't fear that your nemesis at the ABC , Paul Barry , will start calling Sky News " the taxpayer funded Sky News ".  It just doesn't roll of the tongue easily , does it ? 

Your comrade, Ken .

 

Reference :- How urgently do we need a federal integrity commission ?

Reference :-   We need a federal integrity commission very urgently indeed ... but will we ever get one ?  

 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                          It sure is annoying the way that stupid federal integrity thing  ( ICAC ) has suddenly reared it's ugly head again .    It is now over three years since you first received a letter from 34 former judges  explaining that a federal integrity commission is urgently needed ,   Naturally you asked  the Attorney General , young Christian Porter ,  to look into that .   This  was a wise choice , since he had already stated publicly that he thought an integrity commission  ( ICAC ) was not required .  Sadly he is  now disgraced , and has jumped ship while steadfastly refusing to disclose who gave him a million quid to cover his legal fees in that defamation case he lost .  

Meanwhile , Covid has been a convenient excuse to not proceed with any actual integrity legislation , and besides , time has been taken up pushing through other essential legislation . You know , like those laws  to limit freedom of speech and so on . 

With young Christian Porter's career down the chute , Ms Michaelia Cash has landed the Attorney General job  ..... just in time to review the 333 submissions by Judges , the Law Council , and other concerned folk who claim your draft legislation is so impotent that it is worse than having no legislation  at all .  

Fortunately, after carefully reading those 333 submissions  , Ms Cash  found that not a single change was necessary .  That certainly confirms your assertion that the three year delay was prudent , since it allowed time for you to consult with hundreds of your own experts .   And furthermore , it proves  that you got the legislation right with the first draft . 

Mind you , I would hold back on the jokes in parliament about corruption at state level and how investigations by state anti-corruption bodies have landed plenty of crooked politicians in jail , or forced their resignation . (   Great merciful Odin !   Nine  NSW state Liberals resigned in one fell swoop because of their corrupt dealings with real estate developers  .   Imagine that happening to Federal Cabinet  !  ) 

When you shine a spotlight on state corruption , you might give the great unwashed the impression that there could also be corruption at a federal level . They might then vote for somebody who supports an integrity commission .  Do  tread carefully . 

 Your comrade , Ken . 

 

Reference:- Silken voiced Sky presenter Rita Panahi laughed at the hypocrisy of " climate warriors " .

Reference:-   It seems that many  rich celebrities are hypocrites .  What a surprise . 

Dear Rita , 

                    You sure opened my eyes with your "climate warrior " story . Personally I had never heard of that  singer  ..... " Lizzo " , I think you said .   As a keen music fan I was initially a bit surprised that I didn't know of her .  Then Ken junior told me she was a " rapper " .  

Doubtless  Ms Lizzo is an excellent singer , but rap music is not my preferred genre  .   Whenever I feel the need to relax , I usually listen to the dulcet tones of Val Doonican .   In fact one of his LPs is always sitting on the turntable of the Kriesler stereophonic radiogram ready to go .  

Anyway , that is by the by Rita .  What interests me is the way you pointed out that many rich celebrities have become what you call " climate warriors ".    That moniker is well chosen , since the word " warrior " has just the right amount of sarcasm mixed with just the right amount of threat .  The expression " climate alarmist " is old hat these days , especially now that the climate itself has become so bloody alarming . 

That was great footage of Ms Lizzo clambering aboard a private jet and roaring off  to a climate conference in a cloud of greenhouse gases .  Indeed , what a hypocrite she is .    But sadly , Rita , one hypocritical rap singer is hardly going to discredit the 88,125 peer reviewed scientific articles concluding that man made climate change is upon us . 

For that you will need at least a couple of dozen hypocritical celebrities , so now is not the time to rest on your laurels .  Keep up the good work . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

PS   It might be worth featuring 13 male celebrities and 11 female . With any luck the woke brigade will be incensed by the sexism and that will give you more ammunition to use against the crazy left .

 

 

Reference :- At last the media focus on " gotcha "moments is fading .

 Reference :-  The media spotlight has now been focused on the failure of Mr Morrison to support an independent integrity commission .

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                         For the love of God , the bloody media have started talking about that federal government integrity commission that you promised at the last election and promptly dumped .  Who needs it ?  My advice is that you once again lie about being committed to establishing one, , and let the subject quietly slip from the front pages .

Of course , it is important to prepare for the possibility that the great unwashed are fooled into voting for the crazy left , and you lose the election .  Should this happen , Labor  claim that they will establish an independent corruption body faster than a chap can empty his filing cabinet .  The Greens and the Independents will support them too , after all , what have they got to lose ?

Ken junior reckons that on the day that an anti-corruption bill is passed by parliament it would be wise for you and most of your team to be wearing nappies . Sadly , he might be right .

You must be prepared for the worst kind of kangaroo court . And who knows how many innocent businessmen and lobbyists may be dragged before the inquisitors ? 

 Not to mention the Governor General .  That power point presentation he gave you could easily be painted as lobbying , just because he scored 18million quid from the taxpayers for ....something or other to do with who knows what ?   And  , of course , your Hillsong Church mate Leigh Coleman , who has scored 90 million quid or more so far  . 

 I could go on and on , but you get the drift . 

 Anyway , as I said , for now the best you can do is say that you are keen to keep your promise from the last election , which should shut everybody up . 

 Your comrade , Ken 

PS    Tell your minister for fossil fuels ....I mean energy .. young Angus Taylor , to stay focused and not lose his nerve . If there is a corruption commission I hear he is well cashed up , and will probably be down around third on the list of those facing an inquisition . This will give his expensive lawyers plenty of time for preparation .

Reference :- There are jobs everywhere we are told .

Reference:-  Here at Kooralya the job situation is not great , but apparently there are plenty of jobs in the city .

Despite all the complaining , we are told there are plenty of jobs in the big smoke.   So many ,  in fact , that 500,000 citizens have  3 jobs or more . That strikes me as greedy . Back in the good old days one job was enough for anybody , and one breadwinner per family was considered adequate , leaving somebody at home to raise the offspring . 

But these days it is said that most citizens are "aspirational " .  It beats me what that means exactly .  Gabbo says it means wanting to having more bathrooms , and  more drive wheels on your motor car , and  a jet ski .     To find out more , we put in a conference call to cousin Kevin , who lives in Sydney . 

" Hey Kev , how many jobs do you have ? " ,  Ken junior said . 

" Three at the moment , mate ." , Kev said . 

" Isn't that greedy ? Some folk don't have a job at all .",   I said . 

" I need three jobs though . " , Kev said . 

" What for?  So you can buy a jet ski ? "  , Gabbo said . 

" No you dickheads .  One job pays the rent , one job pays the instalments and petrol for the Hyundai Excel , and one job puts food on the table . ", Kev said . 

 "What about your wife Sharon ? " , I said . 

" She has two jobs . One pays for the child care , and one pays for health insurance . " , Kev said . 

" It sounds like you have it made down there , Kev . " , I said 

" How are you lot going out there in Kooralya ? ", Kev said . 

" We are pretty strapped these days . We might have to move into a cardboard box under a bridge the way things are going out here .  " , Gabbo said . 

" Sounds great , can I come too ? " , Kev said . 

  Kev loves a joke .  

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Here is the answer to the conundrum posed in the last post .

 Reference :-   Hopefully everybody found the conundrum a temporary  distraction from the most ghastly election campaign of the century .  

 Is this really the most ghastly election campaign of the century ?   The Sky Reply team informed me that they don't think so . 

" That is a silly thing to say . " , Ken junior said 

"It's actually the most ghastly election campaign in the history of the world . " , Monte said 

" No , it's the most ghastly election campaign since the dawn of time .  ",  Gabbo  said . 

" That's more like it . " ,  Ken junior said .

Well , regardless , here is the answer to the conundrum in the last post . 

 You must ask one of the people at the intersection the following question . 

 

"If I ask the other person  'Is the correct direction to the left ? ',  will they say yes or no ? '

If the person you asked is the liar , and he says " yes " ,  that means the other person , who tells the truth would actually have said "no" .  So the correct direction is to the right . 

If the person you asked tells the truth , and they answer  "yes " it means the the liar would say "yes " , which also means you must turn right .  

The same logic applies to a " no " answer , which would mean that you must turn left . 

Sadly this kind of logic can't be used during election campaigns , since politicians are incapable of answering questions with a simple "yes " or  "no "  .

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference :- Lies lies lies and more lies , will it never end ? And it's not only Scott Morrison .

Reference:-  Do the media regularly forget to fact check their stories ?  

It looked like being a pleasant morning out here in Kooralya .  The grass is green , the air crisp , and the kookaburras were having a good old laugh in the gum trees while the tea brewed in the pot . 

But then we flicked on the tele,  and of all the ghastly sights , there was billionaire hedge fund manager Bill Browder being interviewed .   Within the first ten seconds he had already told a lie , which was that his business associate , Sergei Magnitsky  (deceased ) had been a lawyer .   For over a decade now Bill Browder has been claiming that Sergei had been his lawyer , when in fact he had been an  accountant who specialized in tax .... err..... lets call it " minimization " . 

" I can't stand all these unchallenged lies .  Morrison has already exhausted me . "  , I said . 

Fortunately the lads remained calm  and Gabbo came to the rescue  with an interesting mendacity based conundrum for me to contemplate , as a distraction .       It goes like this .

Imagine you are at a fork in the road , and you don't know which direction to take in order to reach your destination .  Also imagine that there are two people willing to give directions  at the divide in the road , but you have been warned that one person always tells the truth , and the other person always tells lies .   Unfortunately you don't know which person is the liar  . You may ask one person a single  "yes or no "  question , and from their answer you must determine the correct path . 

What question do you ask  ?   ( HINT :-  Asking them if they have ever told a lie in public office won't help . )

 I don't imagine it will take long to deduce  the answer , which will be revealed in the next post .  I promise .

 Your comrade , Ken

 

 

 

Reference:- We should let bygones be bygones , according to Sky anchor Andy Bolt .

Reference :-   Bringing up long forgotten past issues concerning Mr Morrison's character is a pathetic ploy , according to young Andy Bolt . 

Dear Andy , 

                            There are a great many important contemporary issues to debate  during the election campaign  .      But as you point out , the lefties are trying to discredit Mr Morrison by dredging up allegations of shifty behavior that secured him  Liberal Party preselection way back in 2007 . 

For the love of god , that was 15 years ago , well before pussy was a kitten , so how can it have any relevance to the current election ?  As far as I am concerned , it only shows the desperation of the left . 

Ken junior claims that most of the flak Mr Morrison has copped regarding the said shifty behavior has come from his own team . But I find that hard to believe . Who has he ever upset in his own team ? 

I am confident that this is just a minor setback for Mr Morrison and it will be soon forgotten . 

Anyway , moving on Andy , I was most interested to hear your recent report about the leader of the opposition .  Who would have thought that Mr Albanese actually  talked to the editors of a communist magazine about Labor Party policy 31 years ago ?   That is something we must explore in detail , for as you know , once a commie , always a commie . 

I mentioned this to Ken junior .

" Once a commie , always a commie . " , I said . 

 " What about Morrison ? "  Ken junior said . 

" What about him? " , I said . 

 " Once a self promoting shifty liar , always a self promoting shifty liar . " ,  Ken junior said . 

 Ken junior doesn't understand that over the years people can change , except for your commies of course . 

The young have much to learn . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

Reference :- At last Mr Morrison has called the election , and made a stirring speech to launch his campaign .

Reference :-  The press were eager for question time at the end of Mr Morrison's campaign launch address.   Unfortunately Mr Morrison had little time available to answer questions . 

 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                               This is a very busy time for you , so we do appreciate the time you allowed for questions after delivering your first campaign speech .   Ken junior timed you , and said that 4 minutes and 15 seconds were far from adequate .  Certainly there were many disappointed hands waving as journalists begged to be heard , but there was no point in letting question time drag . Who knows what some cheeky journo might ask ?   

On the other hand , the press does seem to be shielding you from one big question , which stands like the proverbial pachyderm in the room .   That question is , of course , if you are trusted with another term in office , will you establish that  independent crime and corruption commission everybody talks about  ? 

You may dread that particular question , but there is a simple way to deal with it .  Just say " Yes".   And then don't do it .  It is a strategy that has served you well in the past . 

By the way , how are things working out with your  former ...sort of ... er... current ....but stood down ....minister Alan Tudge ?   Taxpayers  have already paid 500, 000 quid in damages to cover the cost of his shifty philandering , and this figure could reach a cool million before long . 

If he does return to his job as education minister ( and , naturally , dedicated family values advocate  ) might we suggest a cheaper way for him to manage his saucy proclivities  . 

 Our cousin,  Monique , runs a little " light housekeeping " business down at some place you may have heard of in Sydney called " King's Cross " .

She says she can"  entertain " any of your cabinet ministers for  300 quid per hour .  That sure is a big saving for the taxpayer .   We can vouch for Monique's discretion , respect and honesty , and we have told her that when dealing with the political elite she can expect the same in return . 

Your comrade , Ken 

PS . It sure was  ridiculous the way the opposition leader answered questions for such a long time at his own campaign launch .  It's a wonder people didn't start nodding off.  But never fear , the great unwashed do understand that actions speak louder than words .

Reference :- Fair minded Sky anchor , Peta Credlin, uncovered yet another waste of taxpayer's funds .

 Reference :-   According to Peta Credlin , the Australian Institute for Disaster Resilience is a waste of taxpayers funds . Just like the ABC .

Dear Peta , 

                      Despite the looming election and , you have bravely pointed a finger at waste within a government funded institution .  Of course , as usual , it is not the government's fault , since no doubt the Australian Institute for Disaster Resilience is run by a bunch of woke green Marxists . 

We were quite shocked to discover that the said institute is " spending ALL their time and money on worrying about gender theory " .  What an appalling waste . 

Of course , that leaves me wondering who made,  and paid for , the twenty different pamphlets they have published with guidelines on how to respond to various disasters . Not to mention the on line resources . And the seminars . Also the webinars

If they have spent ALL their money worrying about radical gender theory , who has ponied up for the dodgers and the lectures ? 

Ken junior reckons he can worry for days about radical gender theory without spending a cent , which also gives me pause . 

This needs looking into further Peta , it has the smell of corruption if you ask me . 

Your comrade , Ken 

PS .    Can you direct us to the location of the radical gender theory guff on the disaster resilience website ?    I have spent a couple of hours trying to find it in among all the info advising folk regarding how to avoid being incinerated in a bush fire  ,  or how to stay afloat during a once in a thousand years flood , but have found zilch thus far . 

 

Reference :- The matron of Sky News , Peta Credlin , reminded us that we should respect our political leaders .

Reference :-  Peta Credlin thinks it diminishes us all when we ridicule our political leaders . The conservative ones only , of course . 

Dear Peta , 

                        It certainly is shocking the way poor Mr Morrison is copping abuse from ...ah....the media , the public , the opposition , his own party , women , pensioners , firefighters , flood victims , children , nurses , teachers , Australians of the year , Presidents .....well lets face it , pretty well everybody ... even some of your comrades at Sky News along with a few of those far right weirdos at the IPA.  Not Paul Murray , of course . ( Just between you and me I reckon Paul wouldn't mind being snowed in for the winter in a log cabin with just Mr Morrison and one doonah to share . Are you with me ? )

You made a good point Peta  .  Disrespect has no place in political debate , and indeed it does "diminish us all "when our leaders are abused ,belittled , and told where to go . 

But to change the subject Peta , how are you going with your efforts to have the Premier of Victoria thrown out of office ?   You know who I mean , that Dan Andrews chap .  At Sky News he is AKA  Dangerous Dan , Deadly Dan , Dodgy Dan , Chairman Dan , Shameless Dan etc .  You uncovered the fact that he heads  " the world's  most left wing government " some time ago , and there is no need for you to support this fact with evidence , since it was obvious to us all once you made the revelation . 

As you rightfully state , his " epic incompetence " has created a " failed state ", and he must " stand down" forthwith .  Surely he can't survive your attacks for much longer ?

Anyway , thanks for watching Mr Morrison's back , and taking a stand against disrespect and abuse .  There is far too much of that evident these days . 

Your comrade, Ken

 

Reference:- The government is relying on fear to win votes in the looming election .

Reference :-   When one has no policies with which to seduce voters , resorting to fear is the usual tactic . But does it always produce results ?

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

 

                                              Sadly , the polls are still looking abysmal  . And furthermore , your delay in calling the election date is irritating many folk  . Especially since you no longer have any choice regarding the actual date .  I guess you can hardly be blamed for teasing everybody a tad , before the reins of power are snatched forever from your grip.

Anyway ,  running your current fear campaign did seem like a good option , especially since you have no actual policies to offer   .  You have warned voters ( be it true or not )   that the opposition will increase taxes , raise living costs , and open the doors to a Chinese invasion .  So far these warnings have achieved nothing .

Obviously you have now decided to run a more broadly based fear campaign , the one you call " fear of the unknown " .  But so far that tactic has also proved futile . 

What is it you said  ?   To paraphrase,  " Voters have a choice between the scary unknown opposition , or the known incumbents ".  

Certainly the incumbents are well known , especially in the courtrooms of the nation , but that doesn't mean they are not scarier than the unknown.  In poker it is sometimes better to throw out your entire hand and risk five new cards rather than keep any of the useless cards you hold . 

Ken junior reckons that what you need to find is something that is scarier than your own party , and use that to fill the hearts of the great unwashed with fear . 

The problem is , what could that be ?  (And it can't be fear of losing the iconic aussie weekend , since you used that last time. ) 

The lads at the Sky Reply could only think of one thing scarier than another three years under a Morrison government .  We offer it below , gratis , as a service to the community. 

Why not tell everybody that Labor has a secret plan to make monthly visits to the dentist  free , but also compulsory ?  As we all know , everybody is terrified of visiting the dentist  . You could find some statistics to show that over 10 million Australians have an undiagnosed root canal requiring  treatment . 

Finding those figures would be easy enough , for as they say  , if you torture statistics enough they will confess to anything . 

It is all we could come up with at short notice , but you have nothing to lose by ( to use one of your most memorable phrases ) "giving it a go " . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

                              

Reference :- Liberal politicians continue to jump ship ahead of the election .

Reference :-   Liberal premier of Tasmania , Peter Gutwein,  has just quit . And so has a Liberal member of the upper house in NSW , Catherine Cusack . 

 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                           Liberal party leaders are deserting you like rats off a sinking ship .  Although Ken junior reckons it's actually the rats that are staying on board as the ship sinks .  By that I think he means that the only ones sticking with you are those who covet your job , so watch your back . 

Anyway , at least Peter Gutwein , being a gentleman , has said nothing damaging , even though what he has done pretty much says it all .  But Catherine Cusack certainly ranted , especially the bit where she accused you of " disgusting behavior " .  Catherine has been a staunch Liberal supporter for 40 years , and I guess she has become exhausted and jaded , which , in my opinion , shouldn't reflect badly on you at all . 

I see you are busy installing lobbyists , supporters ,  and former Liberal Party staff  in key public service jobs before you call the election .  This is standard practice at election time , partly to reward those who stood by you with overpaid jobs , and partly to thwart the Labor ministers should they win government . 

The struggle for power is indeed a cutthroat business , made more difficult by the annoying requirement to fake concern for the plight of the unwashed, who ungratefully wield their power to vote . At least for now .

Stay strong .  And lets keep our fingers crossed for today's verdict in that legal action inflicted upon you by those mutinous members of the LNP you are trying to flush from your team . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

   

Reference:- The lead up to the election has become riddled with scandalous accusations .

Reference :-   The budget is already forgotten as the dirty political fighting ramps up . 

 

Of late there has been an unparalleled use of the word unprecedented in the public arena .  This time in relation to the scandalous and cruel accusations that are being fed to the media by those who want Mr Morrison to lose in the looming election .

These are indeed dirty tactics . 

 I mentioned this to Ken junior . 

" These are indeed dirty tactics we are seeing in the media " , I said . 

" It is shocking behavior . "  , Ken junior said . 

"  The opposition has resorted to gutter tactics . " , I said . 

" But it is Morrison's own team that is bent on assassinating his character .  Why would they shoot themselves in the foot like that , so close to the election ? " , Ken junior said . 

"  But  Mr Morrison is making it look like the whole shabby business is just an evil tactic used by the Labor Party ", I said . 

" Ah . I see . It's like being slapped in the face for tormenting your brother , but then telling everybody the bruise was caused by a desperate mugger . " , Ken junior said . 

At last the lad is starting to use his noggin . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference:- Homeless flood victims and their children are facing eviction from their temporary accommodation .

 Reference :-   The Easter holiday crowds need accommodation , and places to park their motor homes .

Well it goes without saying that folk are entitled to enjoy the Easter holidays .  And if that means casting out those who lost everything in the floods , so be it .  We are a Christian nation , and Easter is one of our most important religious holidays .   

In any case , once the landlords have cashed in on the Easter tourism traffic , the homeless can return . Meanwhile  the disheveled paupers can stay out of sight , so they don't drag down the tone of the neighborhoods.

Gabbo wanted to know where the homeless will stay if they are unceremoniously evicted .  Fortunately the government has the answer .   " Friends and relatives " , they tell us . 

" What if you don't have friends and relatives ? " , Gabbo said 

" If you don't have friends and relatives you are not a true blue aussie , and deserve what you get ." I said 

" That doesn't  sound very Christian " , Gabbo said . 

" God helps those who help themselves " ,  I said . 

" I reckon anybody who is willing to have a homeless family evicted so they can enjoy their Easter holiday should  have their motor home confiscated . "  , Gabbo said .

That's the trouble with Gabbo , he doesn't understand the depth of commitment we have to our religious heritage .

Your comrade , Ken .  

Reference :- The Prime Minister now has only two weeks left before he must call an election .

Reference :-  The timing of the election is a major headache for Mr Morrison .  

 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                         You are certainly under a lot of pressure right now .   The longer you delay the election ,  the more appallingly bad publicity you will endure .  The media , including your former ally  News Corp , have opened your closet door and found that it contains more skeletons than the Paris Catacombs .  

Your previously silent critics from both sides of politics ,  emboldened by their swelling numbers , have dominated the news and it looks like they will continue to do so over the next fortnight .  And who knows how many more aggrieved folk might join the feeding frenzy in the coming days ?

Clearly it would be wise to call the election post - haste .  Or to quote Dr Seuss ,   with " great speedy speed " , before your enemies ( that ungrateful lot ) can overwhelm you . 

The trouble is , all that fighting over pre-selection within your own party has spilled into the courts , and that means you cannot yet name your candidates .  Legal action takes time , and it is time that you can ill afford . 

One wonders who you can turn to in your hour of need ?  Sadly we do not know .  We did start to list all the ingrates you can't turn to , which might at least be of some help, but found that we didn't have enough space on this page to list them all. 

 However,  we do offer this humble advice .  Your own electorate , Cook , might not be comfortable with the revelation that you wrenched pre-selection from the hands of the very popular  Michael Towke back in 2007 by spreading lies and rumors about the chap ,  for which  he was eventually paid damages . 

If you lose your ( usually very safe ) seat , it is game over, so this must be your primary concern . 

Should Labor win at the polls , there will doubtless be a leadership spill in favor of young Josh Frydenberg  .   But if you have at least held on to your seat , you could make a comeback .  

Think about it . 

Your comrade , Ken 

 

 

 

Reference :- The budget is complex. That is why we are given an abridged version by the media .

Reference :-   The media have presented their budget analysis . This has been rather like somebody describing an elephant by only looking at it's tail . 

All the budget talk is about one off  handouts and temporary cuts to petrol prices . Some ordinary folk have wondered where the money for this temporary relief will come from . And the answer is quite simple .  It will come from ordinary folk .  Oh , and people with autism too, naturally .

Let us explain . 

The government has run up a debt of around a trillion quid  .  A trillion can also be written as 1,000,000,000,000 , which seems like a lot .  The interest bill for this debt will be around 20 billion each annum .  That money has to come from somewhere . Fortunately the government has a plan . 

From July 1st  the low and middle income tax offset  ( LAMITO ) will end .  Anybody with an income between 20, 000 and 125 ,000 each annum will lose that tax offset .  This means they will be paying around 50 quid per week more tax .   About 10 million tax payers will be affected , and that will put another 25 billion or so each annum into the government's coffers . 

This will cover the interest bill quite nicely . Or if they prefer , the government can cover two years of fossil fuel subsidies with the savings instead . 

Gabbo has pointed out that support for kids with autism through the National Disability Scheme has also been gutted in this budget .  I guess it's only fair that they also make a contribution .  And it will doubtless raise their self esteem when they discover that they are pulling their weight in these difficult times . 

Of course , things might be different if there is a change of government  , but how likely is that ?

Your comrade , Ken .