Reference :- This is Sky Reply number 499 .

Reference :-    Nobody in our team is much interested in writing Sky Reply 499. 

Everybody is holding out for the big night when we hit the magic 500th  Sky Reply . The office is deserted  , which feels weird . I swear I can hear Morricone music playing , and there are tumbleweeds blowing across the back yard . 

 Nonetheless , I can detect the unmistakable smell from the kitchen of cookies baking . 

Young Andrew Bolt is on the tele explaining , in no uncertain terms , how Royal Commissions are a waste of time , and have been for over one hundred years . 

According to Andy , elected politicians shouldn't ask unelected bureaucrats to help them make policy decisions .  

But I am not so sure that the folk we elect are always well qualified to administer their portfolios .  Although I can see how asking Craig Kelly MP to devise the protocols for running our recently ordered nuclear submarine fleet would make sense . He is a chap who can turn his hand to anything . It's no surprise that he wants to become Prime Minister .

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- The 500th Sky Reply will soon be posted .

Reference :-   How should we make the 500th Sky Reply special ? 

The 500th Sky Reply could , perhaps , highlight how Sky News has evolved from it's simple beginnings . In only a couple of years it has progressed a long way from it's humble origins as a poorly researched neo- conservative propaganda outlet .  It has now become a far right promulgator of dangerous misinformation , a ruthless fermenter of misplaced hatred , and a tireless enemy of ethical journalism .  

 Perhaps we should focus on some of the broadcasting taboos Sky News has broken ?  Like Paul Murray  feigning masturbation and using obscene language during prime time television appearances . Or Andrew Bolt gulping whisky during his interviews .  

 Ken junior suggested we could celebrate the occasion by eating some some of his special herb cookies before typing the 500th  column on our trusty Remington .

"  Do you think we should celebrate the 500th Sky Reply by laughing at  Sky News while we chow down on some of my herb cookies ? " ,  Ken junior said . 

" Yeah , I think so . " , I said . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- According to what we see on Sky News , the French are pretending to be annoyed with Australia .

 Reference:-   Sky News  believes that cancelling a contract for submarines worth 90 billion quid  shouldn't have upset the French .  

Our favorite media outlet has revealed that the " spiteful French " are looking for any pathetic excuse to denounce Australia  .  After all , why is a 90 billion quid contract so important ?  Apparently the rest of the European Union is also annoyed with us ,  even though it is clearly none of their business . 

Sky Reply contributing editor ,  Monte  , has done some research which has highlighted the foolishness of the French . 

Apparently back in 2016 , when we ordered the French subs , we were adamant that we didn't want nuclear versions . That meant that the French had to redesign their nuclear subs to produce a non- nuclear version called the Shortfin Barracuda class .   Monte reckons the plan may have been to power them with left over diesel engines from the now defunct Holden plant .  Suitably hotted up , of course .

 But time has passed , and we have now decided that we do want nuclear subs after all .  Since the war in Afghanistan has ended ( sort of ),  defense contractors in the USA have considerable spare manufacturing capacity  , so we might as well get them to supply us some nuclear subs . 

The beauty of this arrangement is that there are no cost estimates , and no specified delivery dates . This means that taxpayers won't be able to complain about cost blow outs or delays .

 The French are upset  because we broke our deal with them .  But everybody knows they can sell their diesel retrofitted Shortfin Barracuda  subs elsewhere .  For starters New Zealand would buy them . The Kiwis won't allow nuclear subs in their waters , so diesel powered ones are just what they need . Furthermore ,  Monte reckons Holden engines are highly regarded on the other side of the Tasman Sea . 

This whole fiasco would never have occurred if we had not done a deal with the French in the first place .

Sadly , I don't think the French are capable of accepting a setback , and moving on .    

But c'est la vie . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference :- Prime Minister ( for now ) Scott Morrison has forged a deal with the USA for the purchase of nuclear submarines .

Reference : -   Forging the deal for the purchase of nuclear submarines took a great deal of skill . 

Dear Mr Morrison , Sir , 

                                        All I can say is well done !  Few people have the experience to arrange such a deal .  And by experience , I mean marketing experience . 

 Anybody could promise to give the USA countless billions of quid for submarines of nebulous specification with a vague delivery date . 

Anybody could agree to tie our nation to the USA militarily for decades to come while simultaneously offending our most important trading partners.  

Anybody could turn a blind eye to the hundreds of millions of quid wasted on the F35 Strike Fighter deal and trust that nuclear submarines are easier to build and less likely to be plagued by faults . 

But it takes a skilled marketer to convince the Australian public that you have done the right thing . 

And since it will be decades before the results of your negotiations bear fruit  , you can bask in their glory for the rest of your career without being confronted with the inevitable cost blow outs , delays and technical snafus . 

Ken junior reckons there might be a lot of those . 

" Lockheed Martin sold us Strike Fighters with hundred of serious faults afflicting every aircraft . Imagine how many unintended flaws might compromise a nuclear sub , especially when the company building it has shareholders profits as a priority ? " , Ken junior said .

But that is not a concern for you now .  The next election is .  Besides , should problems present along the way , and you are still at the nation's helm , you can simply refuse to discuss the matter .  

For example :- 

 "  I won't be discussing defense contracts  in this interview,  since there a security implications . " 

Finally I admire the way you reassured everybody that the nuclear subs won't be carrying atomic weaponry .  Of course the American media are already saying that by the time the subs are up and running they will have nukes on board .   But what would they know ? 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

Reference :- Former Attorney General , Christian Porter , received a mysterious one million quid donation to help him out with his legal fees .

 Reference :-  According to his mates , Christian Porter doesn't have to reveal how he came to receive  a one million quid donation .

 This cool million is causing quite a stir in the tabloids . Legal experts are discussing whether or not Mr Porter is required to reveal the identity of his benefactor .  Are there tax implications ?  Was there GST involved ?   Are any favors expected ?  There are many unanswered questions . 

Personally , I think Mr Porter is entitled to some privacy . 

But the media need something to shut them up . 

I reckon he should simply call a media conference , and show everybody the brown paper bag the spondula  came in .  He could even let them take a few photos of the bag . 

 That should satisfy everybody . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- The harridan of Sky News , Peta Credlin , is appalled by the investment policies of superannuation funds .

Reference:-    Superannuation funds are ditching their shares in fossil fuel companies  . And also turning away from companies that are trashing the planet in other ways . 

Dear Peta , 

                     We discovered  on your excellent show that woke superannuation companies are virtue signalling at the expense of mum and dad investors . What do they hope to gain ?  As you say , the whole point of an investment fund is to make money . And as we all know ( except marxist greenies , of course )  , money is what makes the world go around . 

A woman such as yourself , with many decades of experience , should be able to convince those investment firms to rethink their decision .  Doubtless you are fully armed with the requisite arguments .

As somebody once said  " What is the point in having a pristine coral reef if we go broke protecting it so that nobody can afford to blast over the polyps on a 200 horsepower Jet Ski ? " .

Anyway Peta , here's something you may not have thought of . 

Let's imagine that the super funds keep investing in fossil fuels , and lets assume  furthermore that they make a lot of money .   If you are right , and the environment suffers no ill effects,  they will have done the right thing . 

On the other hand , in the unlikely event that all those marxist scientists are correct , global warming will cause  civilization to collapse over the next few decades , and those superannuation companies won't be required to pay out their beneficiaries .   It's a win win situation . 

Ken junior , always the contrarian , reckons that investing in green energy makes sense . He showed me a graph which does indicate that shares prices in green companies are growing strongly .  That may be the case at present Peta  , but the more astute among us are well aware that any growth in the green energy sector is not sustainable . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

 

Reference :- Sky host Andy bolt warned us about scaremongering .

Reference :  The imminent climate conference will fairly overflow with scaremongering , according to young Andy Bolt . 

Here at The Sky Reply we were munching on takeaway pizza  as we listened to young Andy Bolt warn us about the scaremongering that will characterize the upcoming Glasgow Climate Change Conference . 

" Looks like we had better brace ourselves for a bit of scaremongering . "   , I said . 

 " Define scaremongering . " , Ken junior said . 

 "  It's self explanatory . " , I said . 

  " Albert Einstein once said that he thought he knew what  " time " was , until he tried to define it  and discovered that he couldn't . "    Ken junior said . 

 " Then your mate Albert Einstein or what's his name is an idiot ." , I said  . 

 Ken junior then asked me to define " woke " " leftist " " marxist "  " socialist "  " communist"   " greenie " and " social justice warrior . " 

" That's easy , they are the same . " , I said . 

" So what are they then ? " , Ken junior said 

 " Idiot's , just like your mate Einstein . " ,  I explained  

Ken junior said nothing ,

 " Pass me a slice of the BBQ meat lovers . " ,  I said 

Ken junior passed me the smaller of the two remaining slices , and started eating the other slice himself .  

    " Would you call an officer on the deck of the Titanic who is informing passengers that the ship is sinking  a scaremonger ? " ,  Ken junior said . 

 Then he stood up and grabbed the last of the garlic bread  . 

" I am feeding this to Dog . " , Ken junior said .  And stormed out . 

 " Hey ! That's my garlic bread ! "  , I shouted

Honestly ,  I have know idea what the lad was going on about with all that stuff about the Titanic .  Maybe it has something to do with errant icebergs , which seem to feature regularly in the news these days ? 

 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference :- The war in Afghanistan is not the only war we have lost , according to Sky News host Andrew Bolt .

Reference :-   Andrew ( I am not a white supremacist ) Bolt and his nervous sidekick  at Sky News , Rowan ( the ice age is upon us ) Dean  reminded us that folk  of white Anglo - Celtic ancestry are losing the culture wars. 

Dear Andy, 

                   We are starting to worry , here at he Sky Reply , that young Rowan Dean is losing his mojo .  Ken junior reckons it's because your CEO chap has been copping some pretty tricky questions during the current Senate Inquiry into the media . You know , not only the questions about  Sky News spreading misinformation , but also the ones about telling straight out lies .  Fortunately your boss is doing a good job of not actually answering the questions properly , although  appearing weak and incompetent is the price he has had to pay for adopting a strategy of obfuscation . 

  We have noticed that young Rowan has stopped talking about the coming ice age , perhaps fearful that he might also be accused of spreading lies .   And to be honest ,  that is wise , since his main source of information on climate change is a shadowy site on the interweb called " Electroverse " which is utterly devoid of credibility.   

Anyway Andy , it was kind of you to interview Rowan and give him a  confidence boost .  Initially he looked worried that you might have hit the bottle again , but if you were brimming  with  dutch courage you concealed the fact well and Rowan was soon completely relaxed and cracking hilarious jokes at the expense of Aborigines . 

We quite enjoyed hearing the latest crucial news about the war on western civilization .  How you regularly manage to uncover one sentence in one newspaper  that can be blown out of proportion is a credit to your research team .  

In this instance it was the subversive assertion that the Man from Snowy River in the iconic poem by Banjo Paterson may have been an aboriginal stockman .  If anything proves we are facing a war against western civilization , that certainly does .  Everybody knows the man from snowy river was a white european christian with flawless credentials ...and probably blue eyes . 

 But I must tell you Andy , the contributing editor here at The Sky Reply , Gabbo , reckons that it could be true that the said Man from Snowy River was indigenous .  Apparently highly competent aboriginal stockmen were quite common in Mr Paterson's  days  , as they are now .  

 Gabbo also said that since the hero of the poem is entirely fictitious , the reader can envisage him however they prefer.  Gabbo pictures him as indigenous with dark knowing eyes . Monte pictures him as having a slight physique with red hair and freckles .  I picture him as a balding old bloke with a generous gut , like Rooster Cogburn in " True Grit "  ...... for some reason .    Ken junior pictures him as a gorgeous young woman disguised as a bloke so she could join chase ...... for some reason . 

Anyway , it was nice to see Rowan laughing at his own clever jokes . And they weren't really racist , because he was laughing with black folk rather than at them .  Mind you , he did miss the opportunity to make an hilarious observation .  Mr Paterson did live in racist times , and I daresay that if he pictured his horse riding hero as indigenous he would have called the poem "  The Boong from Snowy River . " 

That would have scored Rowan plenty of much needed  laughs , but the opportunity has now sadly passed . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- What has become of Sky New's Ice Age Watch weather report ?

 Reference :-   It has been a long time since we last saw Rowan Dean prancing about in front of a weather chart . 

Dear Sky News Weather Boy , 

                                       The world wide weather situation has been a challenge for you of late . What with all the fires and heatwaves and floods and storms. ...and on and on .  Unfortunately all of this was long ago predicted by those annoying marxist scientists who run the IPCC . 

 Anyway , you can't win them all son , so don't despair .  And don't be too hard on yourself . You might as well just admit to yourself that you were disastrously and humiliatingly wrong beyond anything you could have imagined , and move on .  

Of course don't admit that to anybody else . Being wrong is not your style .  Perhaps along with the dozens of  Sky News posts containing Covid misinformation that have been deleted , you could quietly delete the more ridiculous of your weather reports .  

I asked Ken junior to go through your weather reports and compile a list of the ones that now make you look like a total fool , to save you the time .  

" That will be all of them . ", Ken junior said . 

 Ken junior can be brutal , but sometimes you have to be brutal to be honest . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

Reference :- Gabbo has got us all thinking here at The Sky Reply .

 Reference:-   The war in Afghanistan cost the United States  300 million dollars every day for twenty years . 

 Here at The Sky reply we were discussing the end of the war in Afghanistan . It may have ended badly , which is an unusual outcome for a war  , but at least the US government will be saving 300 million bucks each day , which can be spent on worthwhile projects within their own borders .  Or so we thought .

But Gabbo shared a different perspective .   He reckons 300 million per day in military contracts won't be readily sacrificed by the likes of  Lockheed Martin , Boeing and Northrop Grumman . These so called " defense contractors " are spectacular performers on the New York Stock exchange with billions of dollars in profits . If a chap had invested in Lockheed Martin shares , he would have enjoyed a return of over 1000% during the war in Afghanistan .  

Gabbo reckons these companies won't be happy to see their share values decline now that taxpayers are no longer funding a war in Afghanistan .   Clearly another war will be needed . 

" That is very cynical of you , Gabbo .  ",   I said . 

 " And where would a war be fermented ? "  ,  Monte said . 

 " They wouldn't dare start a war with China . "  ,  Ken junior said . 

 " Keep your eyes on the Ukraine . " , Gabbo said . 

 I have no idea where that is , but I am suddenly glad I don't live there .  

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Sky host Peta Credlin is concerned that YouTube can censor Sky News ' content .

 Reference :-   If one decides that censorship is sometimes justifiable , one must be prepared to grasp the horns of many a dilemma . 

 Indeed Peta , censorship of the media is always a cause for concern .    Right now today's current contemporary era of high tech and big business is adding to this concern .  I like the clever way that Sky News portrays itself as the journalistic equivalent of David confronting the evil Goliath of YouTube.  Of course Sky News , as part of the Murdoch empire ,  is no David with his feeble slingshot  .  Your team can overthrow Prime Ministers , and well you know it . But in this instance , pretending to be helpless serves your purpose well . 

 An older chap like myself finds it difficult to understand these issues involving high tech "platforms " , as they are called .   My experience of " platforms " ended in 1978 when they closed the local  train station .  I still remember the excitement of watching the steam locomotive depart from "Platform 1"  at the Kooralya Station , laden with the bags of wheat to help feed the nation  .  Of course we only had the one platform ,  but we still placed a sign above it that read  " Platform 1 "  , out of respect . 

Anyway Peta , Ken junior tells me that I should think of a media platform as a pencil and paper . A tech giant provides somebody with an electronic pencil and paper so they can write down their thoughts and let others read them .  Banning somebody from YouTube is like taking back the pencil and paper  because the person who gave them to you doesn't like what you have  written .    This adds considerable complexity to the concept of freedom of expression  . 

Ken junior tells me that in Australia we rate about 26th in the world for freedom of the press . So Peta  , perhaps that means we don't value it highly anyway ? 

And to confuse the matter still further , one of our senior politicians , the Right Honorable John Barilaro is currently taking legal action against YouTube for allowing a comedian to post a video that questions his suitability for his position .   I asked Ken junior to explain what that means .

"  It would be like the person who gave you the pencil and paper being sued because you used the said items to write something that somebody found offensive . "   Ken junior said . 

" Jeez , does it mean that if Mr Barilaro wins his case it will set a precedent and the lawyers will have a feeding frenzy suing the media platforms.   ",  I said 

" Yeah , I think so. " , Ken junior said . 

 My head is swimming Peta , but I reckon you should get Mr Barilaro on the blower and tell him to withdraw his complaint .  Otherwise Sky News might soon be banned from YouTube forever .

Your comrade , Ken

 

 

 

 

Reference :- Sky News told us that the NSW Office of the Children's Guardian is spreading woke madness.

Reference :-   The Sky News hosts told us that the latest guidebook published by the NSW Office of the Children's Guardian instructs parents to let their 3 year old children choose their own pronoun .

Dear vigilant perusers of government pamphlets , 

Here at The Sky Reply we have searched high and low for that highly circulated government dodger you referenced .   You know , the one which instructs parents to let their 3 year old children choose their preferred pronoun .  Much to our disappointment ,  at first we found nothing . 

Sky News has a reputation for honest journalism  , free of misinformation . One only need look at your meticulous research on the topic of climate change and  your information regarding the dread pandemic to realise that you have set yourselves high standards .  

And that is why we kept reading and re - reading the 80 pages in that pamphlet you told us about .  Eventually Ken junior did find the tiny paragraph that has stirred your indignation  It is quoted below in case you have forgotten it already , amidst all the hype. 

"  ... supporting and respecting decisions that children and young people make about their own gender identity, including asking their preferred names and their pronouns .  " .

Ken junior has also provided the following context . 

The statement was directed towards organisations that deal with unhappy , traumatised young children and teenagers .  It was not specifically addressed to parents . It did not mention children of any specific age . 

Of course that did  leave you free to insert your own bodacious age  , and  you chose well . I reckon anything younger than 3 yrs would tax your credibility too severely , but 3 yrs is certain to ferment outrage . 

 I have always said that making things up is a challenging pastime , which requires a subtle mastery . 

Well done . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

 

Reference:- A new James Bond movie is about to be released .

 Reference:-  The shorts from the latest Bond movie " No Time to Die " look exciting .   Sky hosts Andy Bolt and Rowan Dean used the preview as an opportunity to attack the woke brigade . 

Dear Andy and Rowan , 

                                       James Bond movies have always been fantastic fun , and this one will be no exception .  Awhile ago you chaps warned us that the woke brigade were going to ruin the new Bond movie .   Fortunately that hasn't happened  . 

Anyway , thanks for warning us that they are definitely on track to ruin the next one , as yet unwritten , which you say will be  absolutely " horrific". 

Ken junior reckons it's bizarre to blame a fictitious ideology  ( in this instance the fake  " woke "   movement you have invented ) for something that hasn't actually happened.  But I told him that making things up is just accepted journalism these days .   Like when you falsely claimed that the woke movement had forced the banning of Dr Seuss books .  The beauty of petty journalism is that nobody bothers to check the veracity of any outlandish claims .

 You chaps clearly understand  that in the war against  the left , as in any war , it's best to make pre-emptive strikes . We saw the success of that strategy 50 years ago in Vietnam . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

Reference :- The list of mistakes made by our overworked Prime Minister is longer than many folk realise .

 Reference:-  Perhaps the term " mistake ' doesn't adequately describe the disasters that litter Mr Morrisons's wake as he navigates the stormy seas of Australian politics on his Neo Liberal Jet Ski .  But this is a family publication and we don't use offensive language . 

Ken junior expressed his annoyance with me for not running stronger language in this post .  I told him we are are family publication that eschews coarse language . 

" Sky News  doesn't eschew it . Look at that peurile name calling fatso , Paul Murray  . He swears all the time hoping to compensate for not being clever . " ,  Ken junior said  . 

"  Young Paul might be smarter than he seems . He performs to a niche audience of stupid angry people  which limits his opportunity to display his intellect ." , I said . 

Anyway ,  to move on , Lenny the local truck driver is thinking of quitting  . Monte has considered  taking his job so that we can still get our groceries out here in Kooralya .  Lenny reckons truck driving is a mug's game these days , despite being an essential service . 

Lenny tells us that since Mr Morrison abolished the Road Safety Tribunal in 2016 trucking fatalities have increased by 40 %  each annum , and over 200 truckies and 1000 citizens have died in truck crashes . 

" Mr Morrison has a degree in economics , Lenny . He tells us it was costing 4 million quid each annum to run that Road Safety Tribunal .  Mr Morrison believes  that the  ' significant cost to the economy with any potential safety benefits significantly outweighed by the associated costs . '  made abolishing the Road Safety Tribunal a no brainer . "  ,  I said . 

" Truck crashes cost the Australian economy  4,640 million quid each year ." , Lenny said . 

" Why so many crashes? " , I said . 

 " Underpayments , fatigue , speeding , overloaded trucks and low cost contracts demanded by wealthy retailers , manufacturers and oil companies . " , Lenny said .  

 I think Lenny was clutching at straws because his job has worn him out . 

" You look tired Lenny . Maybe you need a break . A man in his forties can only work so many hours you know . " ,  I said . 

"  A bloke has to make his weekly wage .  I don't mind working 16 hrs per day for the first 5 days of the week , but the last four days of the week before I get paid are a struggle . " ,  Lenny said . 

 One can't expect a truckie to understand the intricacies of high finance .  If accidents cost the country 4,640 million each annum , it hardly helps the economy if another 4 million gets wasted on pointless  road safety measures . 

On the other hand , giving Harvey Norman  22 million quid of taxpayers funds so they could make a massive  profit during the pandemic does stimulate the economy .  And all that furniture needs to be delivered , which keeps the truckies busy .  The truckies might not appreciate how much they have benefited , but we won't hold that against them . 

I was about to ask Monte if he still wanted to become a truckie .  But he had taken the opportunity to quietly wander off . 

Your comrade , Ken .