Reference :- A fake photo of an Australian soldier committing an atrocity has not been banned from Twitter .

Reference :-  Sky Anchor Rowan Dean can't understand why a cruel and obviously fake photo posted on twitter by a Chinese official has not been taken down . After all , they had no qualms about censoring Tweets by President Trump. 

It does seem unfairly biased at first glance to be sure , Rowan .  We had a round table discussion here at the Sky Reply .  Gabbo pointed out that throughout Australia's rich history we have published innumerable racist and anti-Chinese cartoons  . He found a few hilarious examples from the gold rush days . ( As an aside ,  you can tell from some of these that it was hot then too Rowan . Something you might like to use to ridicule this summer's heatwave reports .  )

Anyway Rowan , that  image (though clearly a cartoon ) is very disturbing , but it does reveal a crucial Chinese sentiment .  It is in the public interest that we see it . It should not be taken down . It is real , it is serious , and we need to consider our response . 

 On the other hand, fanciful lies told by President Trump on social media are dangerous.  Especially the ones pertaining to the gravity of the current pandemic .  Nurses describe caring for people who in their dying moments do not accept that they have a serious illness , and have become hysterical because they believe their carers are wearing masks unnecessarily . 

 The Chinese have used Twitter to post an obvious cartoon which uses hyperbole to make a strong statement we don't like . 

 President Trump has used Twitter as a platform from which to promulgate indisputable lies that are killing people . 

  There is a subtle difference Rowan . 

Your comrade ,  Ken .  

P.S .     Ken junior reckons the difference is not very subtle at all.

 

 

 

Reference :- Sky Anchor Paul Murray has had much to say about books recently .

 Reference :-  Woke folk are objecting to Jordan Peterson's new book containing " 12 more rules for life ".  Paul Murray is outraged that people could condemn a book just because they don't like it .  

You are so right Paul, it's appalling to watch the freedom of the press suffer like this .  Woody Allen and children's author J K Rowling have also had their books boycotted by crazy lefties . If you don't want to read a book , don't buy it I say . But don't threaten the freedom of the press .  

 Well Paul , enough of that .  I really enjoyed your latest  presentation, the one in which you condemned  that ridiculous Black Lives Matter children's book .  What a disgrace .  I agree with you that adults should not be allowed to fill the minds of children with such leftie rubbish .  As you pointed out on your show , the left has long pursued an agendum aimed at brainwashing our children while they are susceptible , often with books .

Anyway Paul , must rush . It's my turn to conduct Bible Class and read the kids some of those wonderful Old Testament stories that prepare them for life in the modern world .  

Thank you for remaining consistent in these troubled times . 

Your comrade ,  Ken .

Reference :- An invitation has been extended to Sky News anchor Paul Murray , fierce enemy of "the left ".

 Reference :-  Outspoken advocate for hard working families and enemy of "lefties ",   Paul Murray , has been invited to speak at the  Kooralya Workers' Alliance Annual General Meeting . 

Dear Paul , 

                     The silly season upon us , and folk are eager to fraternize and enjoy a good laugh after all the lockdowns .  Here in Kooralya we don't have access to the facilities enjoyed by folk in the big smoke , but we are proud of our local entertainment centre  .  It is a grand structure which was once the Kooralya Train Station , back in the days when efficient public transport was (rather quaintly ) considered to be worthwhile .  Some of the corrugated iron is rusty , but most of the ceiling fans still work and many a tourist has commented on the interior design with it's charming juxtaposition of masonite and asbestos sheeting . 

At the end of each year the Kooralya Workers Alliance  has a general meeting at the entertainment centre  and everybody in town shows up.   We always have a guest speaker , and we are writing to you in the hope that you will accept the role this year .  As a champion of the working class we know you will have much to say about the plight of hard working Australians . 

Without being too presumptuous , the Sky Reply team thought it would be helpful if we gave you a few tips in advance .  The ways of country folk vary from place to place , as you know , but we can assure you there are no crazy leftists in the Kooralya Workers Alliance .  Just hard working folk who want the best for their families . 

 Ken junior will introduce you , straight after his speech calling for the proletariat to have democratic input regarding control of the means of production .  He reckons that will give you a great opportunity to talk about the benefits of Workers Cooperatives .

Gabbo says you could also talk about the exploitation of indigenous cultures by the capitalist system and how this exploitation has also devastated the environment .

Monte is not much interested in ideology . Nevertheless , he has suggested that you refrain  from using swear words so as to appear tough , since there will be children present  .  He also says that your penchant for feigning masturbation before a live audience will not serve you well out here in Kooralya .  We may be a little old fashioned with our family values , but we do ask people to respect them . 

It is always nice to finish an oration on a light hearted note , with a joke . I am sure you have a few humorous stories about those crazy lefties you always bang on about , and never having seen one out our way that might be of interest to members of our Worker's Alliance . 

But if  you are short of inspiration for a joke , Gabbo has a few beauties about stupid fat white men you could run with .   I shouldn't tell you this , but we always present a gift to our guest speakers , and on this occasion we can present you with a copy of   " A Brief History of Neoliberalism " by David Harvey . 

It is a signed copy too .  Gabbo wrote to Mr Harvey and he very kindly sent a few signed copies free of charge . 

Don't forget to act surprised . 

Your comrade , Ken .   

P.S.   If you are able to bring a photo of a crazy leftie that would be of great interest .  Ken junior reckons they would all disguise themselves in suits and ties so they look sane , but that seems too obvious to me .

 

Reference :- Sky News constantly reminds us of the battle they wage against the " crazy left ".

Reference :-   What is a crazy leftist ?  Perhaps you are one yourself ?   This fun questionnaire might help you decide .  You will need to supply your own pencil and paper .

Start by giving yourself 100 bonus points . 

1.   If you now watch , or have ever watched , the taxpayer funded ABC ............deduct 30 points . 

2.   If you have ever made a semi-literate abusive comment on the Sky News website ..........add 30 points .

3.   If you believe in climate change ...................deduct 20 points .

4.   If you think Greta Thunberg is insane ...............add 20 points . 

5.   If you are now , or have ever been , a member of a union ................deduct 10 points . 

6.   If you believe big business will save the economy ................add 10 points . 

7.   If you think social security  recipients are destroying the economy ........add 10 points .

7.   If you have ever signed a petition calling for transparency or accountability ...............deduct 10 pts . 

8.   If you think that 5G caused the Covid pandemic ................add 30 points . 

9.   If you think Donald Trump actually won the 2020 Presidential election ...............add 30 points . 

10.  If you think the planet is facing it's sixth mass extinction ................deduct 30 points .  

Now add up your score to find your ideological rating . 

 If you achieved the maximum score of 200 you are one of the true conservatives and quiet Australians who are the backbone of the nation . 

A score of between 100 and 200 means that although you are a conservative there is room for improvement .  You need to watch Sky News more often . 

 A score of between  30 and  100 means you are slipping dangerously in a progressive direction .  You need to watch Sky News more often and also read the editorial articles in the Australian newspaper every day  . 

A score between minus 30 and 30 means you are a crazy leftist and beyond help.  Either get a job or go back to whatever hell hole country you illegally came from . 

This questionnaire has been a free service provided by  " The Friends of Sky News "  a non -profit organization dedicated to the fostering of harmony in our community . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Feisty Sky News anchor Chris Kenny escalated his war against the ABC .

Reference :-  Chris Kenny has hit the deck running after his recent return from the USA .  

Well Chris , you certainly don't appear to suffer from jet lag .  None of us here at the Sky Reply have had the opportunity to do any globe trotting , but we hear it can be quite exhausting .   Anyway , it's good to see that you are unaffected and still in top form .  And congratulations for concealing your disappointment with the election result . Disappointment made worse , no doubt , by your erroneous predictions .  A lesser man might be miffed , but not you . 

Of course , you would have guessed that Paul Barry and his mob at the ABC ... I mean the "Taxpayer Funded ABC " , as it is now called , would take the opportunity to try and belittle you for backing the wrong Presidential candidate .    Forewarned is forearmed , as they say , and you certainly delivered a full broadside to Paul Barry when you said his comments ran off you like " water off a duck's back " . 

That had us laughing , so Monte  ( being our  numbers man ) decided to run a test , since we still have a few Orpingtons and Indian Runner Ducks thriving in the back yard despite the drought .    Ken junior got the hose out from under the tank stand , while Monte rounded up the ducks .  Gabbo was in charge of the timing .  

Indian Runner Ducks are tall and upright , unlike the squat Orpingtons  , so we figured water would run off their backs  faster .  But there wasn't much in it .   Gabbo timed 3 seconds for the Indian Runners , and 4 seconds for the Orpingtons .   

Monte then timed your rant about the unfairness of your treatment by the ABC , I mean The Taxpayer Funded ABC .  He says you moaned on for over 8 minutes .  (  505 seconds in fact . ) 

I guess that is not exactly in the " duck's back "  league , but you can hardly be blamed for resorting to hyperbole following such unfair provocation .  And thankfully  you didn't have to pay for the air time you  needed to vent your spleen , since I hear that is up in the thousands of quid per minute . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

 

 

 

 

Reference :- Revelations of war crimes committed by Australian soldiers have shocked the nation .

Reference :-  Prime Minister , Mr Morrison , has offended  the Sky News anchors by criticizing the Australian Army .  What do you have to do to warrant criticism ?

The evidence is overwhelming .  

Some of our soldiers have committed atrocities . 

Some folk are outraged that ethical soldiers are being blamed for the actions of a few renegades .

But the innocent aren't being blamed . 

Some folk point at the shocking atrocities committed against us , calling these an excuse . 

But they aren't an excuse . 

 

In wars atrocities are committed .

We can't stop the other side from committing war crimes . 

We can only stop ourselves from committing them . 

If we don't ,  then what are we ?    .....................   ( Fill in  your own answer . )

The Sky Reply Team .

 

Reference:- The Sky News anchors are persisting with their opinion that the presidential election in the USA was rigged .

Reference :-   Sky News claims the USA election was fraudulent . It is the only story attracting viewers to their broadcasts at present . But it can't last .

Dear relentless pursuers of the truth at Sky News , 

With young Andy Bolt on leave (perhaps to explore the benefits of abstemious behavior ) the number of viewers tuning in to Sky News has plummeted .  The voter fraud story is all you have right now , and it won't last long .  Ken junior reckons it has nothing to do with Andy's absence , and everything to do with appalling journalism . The lad bristles with youthful vigour , and fails to understand that after a year of being wrong about almost everything , a mature journalist can become a tad weary and off their game  .  But keep your chins up , it is almost Christmas and there will be time to relax and prepare for a new year . 

 Don't let the fact that you were wrong about Mr Trump scoring a landslide victory shake your confidence .   Sadly , the revelation that you were also wrong about voter fraud is due to hit the news early in December . But once you have suffered that indignity you should have a clear run through to  Christmas . 

Numbers man here at The Sky Reply , Monte , tells me that some computer program called " Hammer " has been blamed for voter fraud .  Incorrectly , of course .  But  what a shame that Andy Bolt is on sabbatical .  Monte says that one of Andy's  favorite sayings  is  "  To a man with a hammer everything is a nail ".  Andy could have spun that into one of his witty editorial headlines .  

Anyway , stay chipper , the year is almost over .  Maybe Rowan Dean could reference the  "Hammer "  computer program in one of his weather reports .  When he plays music to fill in his time slot , he could use a clip of The Beatles  playing  " Maxwell's Silver Hammer " , while he makes one of his trademark hilarious observations . 

We are anticipating another hot summer  , so doubtless Rowan will be on the air quite a lot as he explains that we are actually entering another ice age .  

Your comrade, Ken .

 

Reference :- Playful Sky News anchor and witty weather boy Rowan Dean is speading his wings while Andy Bolt is taking a break .

Reference :-   With Andy Bolt gone , Rowan Dean seems more  relaxed and confident . 

Rowan , you appear to be relieved that young Andy Bolt has taken a sabbatical .  And nobody could blame you .  Andy had a penchant for roping you into his boozy high jinks  , and this was starting to besmirch your reputation .   Thank merciful Odin he left in time for you to restore your credibility .  And after watching your latest weather boy effort I see you are already well on your way with that . 

Those were great photos of snow , and there is nothing like snow to prove your thesis that the planet is not warming .  Mind you , I would leave out any references to " Electroverse " and that Cap Allon chap  ( if that is his real name ).   It's too easy for people to google the site , which looks about as convincing as a science fiction computer game from 1996. 

Likewise , asserting that Dr Carlton Brown is a climate expert is unwise . The chap has no qualifications in climate science , although he does have qualifications in business administration and a commercial background in investment banking .   Ken junior googled him too , and was unimpressed by Mr Brown's  belief that he was in an excellent position to assess the impact of climate change  because he " can read a thermometer " . 

I wonder if Mr Brown would consider somebody an investment banking expert because he could use a calculator ? 

Anyway Rowan , these are minor gripes , but why not consider simply making things up completely rather than quoting from a dubious but checkable source ?  Andy Bolt was guilty of that , as well as misquoting from reliable and verifiable sources , and look where that got him .   Bellicose Sky News reporter , Chris Kenny , does the same thing  and is equally unconvincing . But you would be unique if you simply made things up from scratch . And how could anybody google that ?  If you recall , you did it when you claimed a scientific expedition to chart the loss of sea ice in the Arctic  had come to grief when their ship became icebound . In reality it had not  become icebound at all . It had suffered a mechanical fault . But who would discover that ?

If you can't fathom how to convincingly make things up , let us know  , we are here to help . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Controversial Sky News anchor Andy Bolt is leaving !

Reference :-   Andy Bolt is leaving Sky News , for a couple of months he tells us . 

This is sudden news Andy . I hope it has nothing to do with the recent record number of "thumbs down " you attracted following your broadcast about neo- nazi symbols .    Ken junior reckons it might be a consequence of that recent occasion when you drank whisky on set in front of one of your bosses .  I reminded Ken junior that you did pour her a convivial glass . Although she didn't accept it very enthusiastically , despite your charmingly slurred description of it's impressive pedigree . 

 We will certainly miss you here at The Sky Reply , and look forward to your safe return . As you said , you  always speak as you find , regardless of ratings , advertisers , lawyers and pressure from Mr Murdoch and his power brokers .  Or , for that matter , the other Sky News opinion makers with whom you don't always agree.  Real journalists must freely speak their minds and if that sometimes loses money for advertisers and shareholders , that is the price of truth . 

Anyway Andy , The Sky Reply will clearly be short of material to work with during your sabbatical . Gabbo has suggested we tune into the ABC , but what is the point of that ?   The ABC is riddled with journalists who selfishly use it as a platform to speak their own minds .  And as you regularly remind us , this is an appalling waste of taxpayers money .  

Coincidentally ,  Sky Reply contributor Monte will be away for precisely two months as well .  Since I trust your discretion , I will reveal that he is spending two months in a nearby alcohol rehabilitation establishment .  Monte's girlfriend left him recently and he has taken to the bottle .  I remind him that she only left him because she found another boyfriend who is more handsome , rich , and better in bed . But there is no consoling him .  Sadly , we could not tolerate his arrivals at work half plastered on moonshine .  Here at the Sky Reply we take great pride in our professionalism , as you no doubt appreciate .

He has not been fired , and his job will still be here when he has dried out .  Make sure you do come back Andy , because it's only the anticipation of your return that keeps Monte going at present . 

Your comrade, Ken .

 

 

Reference :- Sky Anchor Andy Bolt copped a bad response from his followers .

Reference : -   Andy Bolt received three thumbs down for each thumbs up in his recent broadcast .  

Gosh Andy . When Ken junior told me about all those thumbs down , the first thing I thought was that your followers don't approve of blatant whisky swilling on set .   But that was foolish of me , your followers clearly don't mind a chap drinking on the job . 

Anyway , it turns out that you were quite upset by a cartoon featuring the "black sun " , which is apparently a neo-nazi symbol .   The culprit responsible is former Celebrity Chef  and conspiracy theorist , Pete Evans , and you certainly gave him a thorough , I mean robust , lambasting . We are not much into neo -nazism out here in Kooralya , so we might not have particularly noticed . But it seems that about two -thirds of your supporters were unhappy with you for expressing your disgust with young Pete.   

That should make you wonder about your cohort of followers , Andy .  They may keep your ratings up , but they don't seem to be the kind of folk you could happily invite over to dinner .  They also have a rather aggressive way of telling you that they don't like you anymore .  I guess you have seen that before when you stirred their anger against Greta Thunberg , for example . But it certainly isn't nice to be on the receiving end yourself . 

Wisdom suggests that you let this story die a natural death , and quickly move to greener pastures .  And perhaps you should wear dark glasses when venturing out to restaurants and other like venues , at least for now . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- Robots are in the press a lot lately .

Reference:-   The Federal Government , after  paying a small fortune for lawyers , is abandoning  their defense of the Robot-debt fiasco . 

I guess writing a cheque for 1.2 billion  quid to settle the matter is better than dealing with any bad publicity . Especially since most of that vast sum is only money that had been snatched from the hands of the disadvantaged in the first place .  Ken junior inquired  regarding the fate of the money that can't be  returned to the poor folk who committed suicide over the whole affair.   I told him the money will help pay for all the lawyers the government employed in their futile attempt to deny accusations of illegal activity . 

One can always rely on conservative governments to balance the books .....one way or another . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

 

Reference :- The petition calling for an enquiry into the Australian media has been discredited due to robotic corruption , so we are told .

Reference :-   The very media that the petition refers to claim the petition has been manipulated . 

Dear senior staff at News Corp , 

This is a serious matter , and warrants a thorough investigation . (Younger readers might not recognize the word ,"thorough " which has been recently superseded by the word "robust ".   Although the new word does not have the same meaning precisely .  A " thorough " investigation might be achieved despite being underfunded  and handicapped . It might succeed against overwhelming  odds .   The term " robust " gives an impression of forcefulness and power , two of the main ingredients in any recipe for corruption . )

Anyway , that's enough obscure linguistic pontification for now .  The point is that this petition has been found to have fake signatures , many apparently forged by what you call " Bangladeshi bots " .   It's bad enough that robots signed the petition , but these are not even  kosher R2-D2  or  C-3PIO robots . They are not even lovable rogue robots like Bender from Futurama .  Frighteningly,  they are foreign robots , from a weird and inferior country which no doubt wishes to destroy our freedoms and way of life through sheer vindictiveness . 

 Mind you , the numbers are not great . Perhaps Bangladesh is too poor to afford many robots , since the fake signatures are thought to number about 1000 or so .  This means that 99.8% of the signatures on the petition are fair dinkum .   Sadly, it does not lend strength to your argument that the petition is a fraud , but you can still resort to the fear tactics that have served you so well to date . 

My advice is that you reference the fact that Bangladesh is ruled by a socialist government . Nothing sparks fear faster than the term " socialist ". 

A useful headline could be :-

   "  Foreign Socialists help former Labor PM rig petition . "

 The article that follows could highlight the importance of keeping  the media free of government regulations in a democratic society . You need no advice for that , since it will practically write itself . It is a fundamental principal of capitalism that governments should never enforce regulations that distort the balance of free market forces . 

By the way , how are you going with your recent lobbying ?  I see you want the government to introduce regulations that force  Facebook and Google to pay you royalties .  And fair enough too . Those high tech guys must think that the media are just a bloody free for all . 

Somebody needs to teach them some rules . 

 Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Sky Anchor Alan Jones , AKA Frankenjonesie , is sticking with his belief that there is no pandemic .

Reference :-  Is that what Jonesie really believes , or is he just a shill for big business ?  

 Well Jonesie , I see the Sky News professionals are pretty much sticking with their opinion that the pandemic is fake news.  Although young Rita Panahi annoyed  Rowan Dean by suggesting that  the number of clapped up folk in the good old USA was becoming  alarming . You should talk to her about that , it's important that the Sky News team maintain a consistent narrative .   (  My apologies Jonesie , " narrative " is the ugliest word in the English language .  Let me rephrase that as " stick to the same story . " )

It has been a week since Rita irritated Rowan with her silly remark , and  there have been another million new cases of Covid appear in the USA since then .   As you keep reminding us , most cases are mild , although the appearance of refrigerated vans outside overflowing morgues is a bad look . It was also unsettling to watch the Republican Governor  of North Dakota become teary as he reversed his decision that masks were not necessary because new Covid cases are now appearing in his state at twenty times the rate they were in May.  

Anyway Jonesie , as with climate change ,  comprehensive statistics confuse the issue , and  it is the cherry picked ones we must always rely upon .  It is time the Sky News crew cranked up their metaphorical pandemic cherry picker and set our minds at ease . And here's a tip .  Never consult a graph , those things are the devil's work .  

Stay well .  Your comrade , Ken                      

 

. 

Reference :- Sky News anchor, young Rowan Dean , seems very miffed about the election result in the USA.

Reference  :-  Young Rowan is a bit sulky at present , and hasn't even bothered with his usual weather boy duties . 

 Greetings Rowan . Ken junior reckons it isn't only the fact that Mr Trump lost the popular vote by about 5 million that's got you all out of sorts . It will also be the fact that you said the pandemic panic would vanish now the election is over  . And it hasn't . In fact just yesterday the daily record was broken yet again , with over 160,000 new cases . And a lot of folk are getting pretty upset about the death toll passing the quarter of a million mark . 

But never mind , although you get virtually everything wrong lately you were almost on the money this time . You said that the pandemic would vanish and that Mr Trump's vote count would see a spectacular rise . Of course , it is Mr trump who has vanished , while the Covid count is on a spectacular rise, but you were close .

It's too late to save your credibility with that , but though you are clearly a bit sulky , don't let it get to you .  Peta Credlin is still keen to interview you , and this is a good thing now that Andy Bolt has started bringing his whisky into the studio for dutch courage   .  Furthermore the Sky Reply team has been working on a story for you , so you can reclaim your position as comic weather boy . 

The figures are in , and globally we have just experienced the hottest September on record with massive fires . You have prudently avoided this news , but the weeks are passing and record Christmas snow will doubtless precipitate somewhere in northern climes very soon .   That will be your opportunity to prance around wearing a beanie and scarf while you laugh at the climate change conspirators .  Of course , as usual you will need to fill in your time slot with a musical interlude ( it's too hard to write a full five minutes of content yourself , obviously ) . 

So Rowan , here's an idea for some music you can pirate .   You could run with the song by Josh Groban  titled "  Try to Remember " .  which has the following lines . 

                  Deep in December , it's nice to remember ,                                                                                                       The fire of September , that made you mellow  . 

And better still, you could use the version sung by Harry Belafonte .  Mr Belafonte  is a person of colour , as they say these days , and you could run the clip after one of young Andy Bolt's shows just to show that not everybody at Sky News is a racist .   It's a bit cruel perhaps , but Andy's days at Sky News  are numbered  now he is on the grog  , and it will make no difference to his fate if you use him as a foothold while you advance your own career . 

Think it over . 

Your comrade, Ken .

 

Reference :- Controversial coal mining company Adani has been renamed .

Reference :-   Adani has decided to change their company name to " Bravus ".   It's a real problem for protesters who have spent hard earned money on anti - Adani signs  and banners . 

The Sky Reply team has been forced to throw all their anti - Adani protest signs into the recycling bin .  The slick marketing gurus at Adani have decided on a name change , and they have chosen  " Bravus " .  They have explained  that the word is Latin for brave , and they also like the suffix " us " which makes them sound like part of the community .  

Embarrassingly the slick marketing gurus must have skipped their Latin classes at school , since the word  "bravus "  is actually latin for "crooked' and "mercenary' .   I guess if they were already skipping classes on ecology and ethics , why would they bother yawning their way through Latin lessons ? 

Ken junior said he reckons most folk would have no idea regarding the correct Latin translation , but wondered why Adani  would even bother to go to all the expense of changing  their name . 

Monte said he thought it was a cunning strategy , like when the cops caught a chap who ran crooked poker games out the back of the Kooralya pub .  The cheat just moved to another town , changed his name , and went back to running crooked poker games .

Gabbo  reckons Adani , I mean Bravus , could still save face without resorting to another name change . Each time we play scrabble Gabbo always beats us with Aboriginal words we have never heard of . He reckons  Adani should say that they are paying respect to the traditional owners of the land they are mining by renaming the company  " Bravus " which is  an Aboriginal word . 

That certainly would deflect attention from the ignoble Latin translation . But I noticed that  Gabbo had a bit of a look about him . "

 " Is 'bravus ' really an Aboriginal word ? "  , I said 

 " Of course it is .  It's a word from the Dreamtime . "  , Gabbo said 

 " What does it mean ? "  , I said 

 " It's hard to give a precise translation into white man's  language ." , Gabbo said . 

 " Try anyway " , I said 

 " The closest would be  ' a thieving pack of lying money grubbing capitalist pricks ' . " , Gabbo said . 

   " Bravus ad mortem " , I said   

(  It's surprising how much of one's school Latin is still useful .) 

  Your comrade , Ken .

 

 

     

 

Reference :- Attorney- General Mr Christian Porter has been a naughty boy .

Reference :-   Four Corners highlighted Mr Christian Porter's  smutty behavior. Was that fair ?  We certainly don't tolerate smutty innuendo out here in Kooralya . 

Even if it is true that Mr Porter said he was going to smut his way through Law School , is that important now ?   Even if it is true that Mr Porter gets on the booze and hits on women ( or the other way around ) now that he is Attorney-General , does that matter ?   We need only look at the wonderful legacy of former Minister for the Arts , Sir Les Patterson , to realise that a chap should not hold back when he is allowed access to the "privileges " of high office .   As Sir Les would say " Are you with me son ? "

As far as I am concerned the media are only taking advantage of their position so that they can give Mr Porter a thorough rogering .   It's just a pathetic power game . 

Anyway , Ken junior has some interesting news from here in Kooralya  .  Apparently Keith , who manages  the pub , has been having an intimate relationship with Sandra , the barmaid .  Sandra threatened to tell Keith's wife unless he served her family with free beers on Friday nights . That soon became free beers and free counter meals . Then she wanted him to sign extra hours on her pay slip. If he hadn't had that knocked on the head she would probably have got him to buy her paddock next to the carpark at an inflated price or ask for donations to her sports club .   It surprises me that Keith could come at that sort of thing , but it wasn't his money I guess . Eventually the owners found out , when the books didn't balance , and now Keith is in trouble  .  

The owners haven't discharged him completely , but they are getting another manager in . Keith was demoted to part time and now has to work the bar himself , and Sandra has been given the sack.  It must be demoralizing for poor Keith to lose the head job like that , and limp off to semi-retirement prematurely , but I am confident he will eventually harden up. 

 People sure do silly things.   Sometimes what goes on sounds like the script from an old "Carry On "movie to me , but at  least we can rely on the privileged elite to maintain standards . 

 

Your comrade, Ken

 

Reference:- The Sky Reply team offers their condolences to Sky News anchor Peta Credlin

Reference :-   How unfortunate that the release of Peta Credlin's debut in the movie industry with " Deadly Decisions " coincided with the elimination of COVID 19 cases in Victoria . 

That was shockingly  bad luck Peta .  The promo shot was brilliant , John Carpenter himself would have approved  , although drips falling from the blood red lettering in the title would have been a nice touch . The scary music and the unsettling camera angles were also top shelf as far as I am concerned .  Its just a shame that Victoria's efforts to crush the pandemic actually worked . It is one of the few places in the world that has stopped the spread of the dread contagion .  And furthermore , the recently released  interim report from the inquiry into the failed hotel quarantine does not lay any blame at the feet of  Victorian Premier Mr Daniel Andrews   ( AKA at Sky News as Comrade Andrews , Loser Andrews , No plan Dan , Chairman Andrews etc , because  he deserves no better . People who speak clearly , politely and intelligently under pressure can be very annoying. )

Anyway , keep your chin up. If nothing else you have learned a lot , and the music could be used when you make another of your scary short films .   If you like , The Sky Reply could send in a nomination so your next effort appears at the annual Saturn Awards for horror movies .   It's the least we can do . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- Pugnacious Sky News anchor , Chris Kenny , told us that almost nobody wants a Royal Commission into the Media .

Reference :-  To paraphrase  the author of " The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy " , Douglas Adams ,  " This must be a new usage of the word ' nobody ' with which I am not familiar  ".   

Top of the morning to you Chris .   As you say " the ABC , green left politicians and News Corp's media competitors are eager for a Royal Commission into the media ".   No argument there , but you suggested that nobody else was interested , which is not entirely correct .  If you check out the government web site you will find that well over half a million concerned citizens have also signed the petition .   Not quite nobody Chris .   The petition is one of the most strongly supported of all time , and by far the most strongly supported in recent years . 

Don't feel bad about being spectacularly wrong , you are the kind of man who readily admits his mistakes , and I have told the lads here at The Sky Reply that you had not intended to mislead anybody . 

Anyway , here's a tip.  Since the Murdoch media empire is so powerful , why not get Rupert to parley with Mr Morrison ( preferably on an untappable phone ) and have the whole call for an inquiry scuttled   . It wouldn't be hard , and Sky News could reinforce Mr Morrison's position by stating that "nobody "wanted taxpayers money wasted on another incompetent inquiry administered by overpaid bureaucrats .  

There is no cause for concern with all this Chris ,  the petition is "mostly harmless " so "don't panic" . 

Your comrade , Ken 

 

Reference :- Light hearted Sky News anchor , Frankenjonesie , told us Joe Biden is too old to think clearly .

Reference:-   Frankenjonesie is so angry about the USA election result that he is seeing red . 

 Being an octogenerian  myself I thought it was wise to let my son Ken junior write this post , since my opinion might be biased . 

Dear Mr Jones  ,  

                      Dad asked me to write this , which in itself indicates a certain degree of age related cognitive decline . The old bastard is full of it lately and refuses to give me the keys to the ute ever since  I rolled my mate's Kingswood .  Anyway , dad looked up Mr Biden's age in his Funk and Wagnalls and in just a few days Mr Biden will be 78 years old .   I agree with you that a chap of such advanced years wouldn't have an opinion worth listening to .  How is a 78 year old going to stay in touch with current affairs ?   Dad still listens to his old LP records and reckons they stopped making proper music when the BBC canned The Val Doonican show 34 years ago .   I tell him he should be more open minded since everybody knows that proper music doesn't simply end like that . Proper music lasted until 2010 when Powderfinger split . 

 Anyway Mr Jones , without being critical I did notice that moment on your show when you pointed at a map of the USA and declared that it was all covered with red states which had voted for Mr Trump , with hardly a blue to be seen . Yet there were in fact more blue states than red .  It could be that you are starting to develop color blindness  , and I urge you to have one of those Ishihara Tests for Tritanopia  (which is blue colour blindness according to dad's Funk and Wagnalls ) . 

 Also Mr Jones , I see you will be having your landmark 80th birthday early next year .  Dad has two copies of his favourite LP  "  The World of Val Doonican " and  says we should send one to you for your birthday , so we need your mailing address . 

 Lastly , allow me to thank you for the way your nimble mind has always adapted to changing circumstances and has not become mired in outdated ideology like many of your contemporaries .  Over the years you have unashamedly made the intellectual journey from tory to conservative to free market capitalist to neoliberal warrior as circumstances changed .   You are a role model for the likes of Rowan Dean and Paul Murray  .

 Your comrade , Ken 

 

Reference:- The news is all about numbers of late.

 Reference :-   After days of watching the vote count in the USA it was time to count a few numbers here in the Antipodes well.

Dear Murdoch media advocates with investigations pending , 

That sure was sad , watching President Trump get flogged in the election .  But the sadness doesn't end there .  It seems that savage disputes about the legitimacy of the result are fermenting .  Obviously they are fermenting in the community at large to some extent , but the worst stoushes are flaring in the hallowed halls of the Murdoch media emporium itself .   A shocking tear has appeared in the fabric of the conservative media as some journalists support Mr Trump's outlandish claims of counterfeit ballots , while others believe he should pack his golf clubs and quietly bugger off. 

Here in the usually warm family of Sky News down under there are tense and sometimes drunken moments as the professional opinion makers we have come to love confront their individual bitter disappointments .   These are indeed tough times , made worse by the fact that the share markets world wide have suddenly decided they quite like sleepy Joe Biden , the insane socialist , and share prices everywhere are steadily climbing .  Apparently "stability " imbues confidence for some reason .

Anyway , my advice is that you don't  dwell on all that , and instead return to discrediting the petition that was tabled today in Parliament calling for a Royal Commission into your own duplicitous pettifoggery. There are over half a million signatures on that petition and so far you have only found a few fake ones saying Donald Duck ,  or was it Mickey Mouse ? That hardly discredits the whole petition so you need to launch an attack on a different front .   Young Andy Bolt and Rowan Dean have been quite impressive with their declarations of war on China and fake Aborigines , so you have a ready made team for this attack .

Andy could assert that the petition was signed by half a million Marxists intent on destroying democracy.  Viewers are well aware that young Andy has a penchant for hyperbole after a few tipples , but then Rowan could assert that there were probably only 250,000 Marxists who all signed twice , since that sort of fraud is never checked .   It would be a good opportunity for Rowan and Andy to enjoy some conviviality after that recent awkward presentation they shared , which had Rowan looking like he desperately wanted to flip open his communicator and whisper " Beam me up Scotty ! "  

Although The Sky Reply team is not in a financial position to help restore the morale of the whole Murdoch media empire  , we can  at least offer a few words of encouragement  to our own hard working Sky News Australia anchors while they deal with the humiliation of their crushing  defeat .   Feel free to call us any time . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- The Sky Reply team stayed up late watching the election in the land of opportunity .

Reference :- Watching the presidential election was bad enough , but then we made the mistake of watching the response of the Sky News anchors .  Ken junior fed us a few of his special herb cookies to help us stay awake .

those herb cookies sure did the trick and before long we could see the funny side of the whole event gabbo noted that young andy bolt has dusted trump completely because the president was making a fool of himself claiming victory before the votes were counted and monte said that soon andy would be saying he never approved of trump in first place like when he said he had never denied there was climate change but ken junior said he could do another 180 degree switcheroo if trump did have a miracle win like the flip flop he did when he eventually went back to being a climate change denialist  and poor paul the bogan murray had so many trump flags on the wall of his man cave that you couldn't see his torana picture and he looked like a fat bearded version of eric olthwaite in that ripping yarn about the coal miner whose soccer team never won except michael palin who played eric is a leftie like all comedians because you have to be clever to be genuinely funny and you have to understand the human situation and then frankenjonesie kept ranting about fraudulent votes in the post despite having no evidence and gabbo said he thought frankenjonesie had post traumatic stress disorder over it all and that made us laugh but not as much as when we saw young andy bolt on the tele with an actual bottle of whiskey in front him as though he no longer cared to conceal his drinking and ken junior said the bottle was almost empty but did that mean he had drunk it all or was he afraid to produce a full bottle in case that looked worse and then we saw peta credlin's advertising for her new horror movie with scary music that is meant to destroy the career of victorian premiere daniel andrews who has got the covid cases in victoria down to zero while president trump's response has produced record breaking new cases of over 100,000 every day but frankenjonesie says that the pandemic doesn't exist and the more we looked at it the more the poster for peta credlin's horror movie looked like the poster for the bride of frankenjonesie or a remake of the witches of eastwick  and then an obnoxious child called jack houghton appeared where we expected to see sky anchor chris kenny and monte said jackie the kid  was sky news' new digital editor which sounds odd to me because I once had a digital examination at the doctors so what does that have to do with the news but the more I thought about how sky news treats us the more it made sense and jackie the kid  did his digital thing by showing clips of abc journalists who he said were intent on destroying the fabric of society with inflammatory language but the only inflammatory language we encountered was from sky news itself which seemed to be exploding like a suppurating boil and maybe they should shove a sock down their throats like frankenjonesie is fond of saying and what the heck is happening with rupert murdoch has he seen his australian version of fox news lately because they are trying to start a war with china and that won't help the share market which is humanity's ultimate reason d'etre  so when the last of us dies gasping for oxygen beneath the smoke filled sky the dow jones and the nikkei index can fly from the smouldering remains of planet earth to their destiny in the stars anyway that's it for now the pizzas have just arrived there are four of us here at the sky reply studio and we ordered seventeen large pizzas with garlic bread so I hope that's enough stay cool man your comrade ken

 

Reference :- Andy Bolt had something to say about illegal protests in Melbourne .

 Reference :-  Young Andy Bolt sure was angry with the police last night . 

You sure were angry and emotional last night Andy .  We flicked the tele on too late to catch the start of your show , and couldn't believe what we saw .   You were shouting and fuming about people having the right to break the law , and berating the police for being heavy handed with the protesters .  

Monte thought you were finally supporting the Black Lives Matter protests , or Extinction Rebellion , or the Bring Them Here movement which opposes indefinite detention of refugees .   But Gabbo spoke up immediately .  " Fat bloody chance ! " he explained .  

And indeed , it turns out that you still believe liberal groups are law breaking rabble who recklessly spread viral contagion  ( overrated though it is ).  But the law breakers who support your position regarding the needless lockdown  deserve our praise . 

It sure is a tricky business trying to determine which law breakers are brave crusaders , and which ones deserve prosecuting to the full extent of the law .  I don't know how you do it , Andy . 

You often say that the only valid way to implement change is at the polling booth .  

 Perhaps you should add a proviso along the lines of  "unless those in authority  are not willing to take advice from the Sky News anchors  " . 

 Anyway Andy , it was a great rant .  We can't wait to see your form when the USA election results come in . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Another Melbourne Cup ended with a predictable result .

Reference :-    The  Kooralya  Sweepstake for the Melbourne Cup was won by Ken junior . 

Each year we run a little sweepstake here in Kooralya , and we all have our annual punt on the neddies . 

This year we paid our two quid , and drew the horse names from a hat .  Ken junior drew the eventual winner .   A reporter from the local newspaper arrived to take a photo of Ken junior holding his winning ticket , and  noticed  that the ticket didn't have the name of the winning horse , Twilight Payment . 

"  Hey , that's not the right ticket !  " said the reporter .  " It should say Twilight Payment . " 

 "  It is the right ticket "  ,  replied Ken junior ,     " It says Anthony Van Dyck .  That's the name of the horse that was killed .  To win our sweepstake you have to draw the name of the horse they kill .  Those horses deserve to be remembered too .  " 

 Your  comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Sky News has sent reporters to the USA while COVID 19 cases are breaking new records .

Reference :-   Sky News Australia has sent reporters to the streets of the USA , sans face masks , sans social distancing and sans common sense . 

Dear overseas groundbreaking professional Sky News journalists , 

We applaud you for traveling to interview ordinary citizens on the streets of the USA , but the team here at The Sky Reply is worried that you might get all clapped up with coronavirus . Although it is fun watching you mock the supporters of Joe Biden for having an opinion ,  the uneasy feeling we get watching you interview folk while not wearing a mask is quite a distraction . 

 Have you seen the numbers ?   They make the yearly death rate for Americans during WW2 look trivial . 

 Maybe you should wear a mask and socially distance ,  just to be on the safe side . And if you want to continue  calling the pandemic fake news , like Alan Jones , you could make sure the camera doesn't reveal your faces during the interviews and do something clever with the editing . 

 Please don't get sick . If the Sky News team falls victim to contagion , where does that leave The Sky Reply ? 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference:- Sky News anchor in Washington , Chris Kenny , expressed concern regarding leftist protesters .

 Reference:-  According to Chris Kenny , leftist agitators are the biggest threat to law and order in the USA.

 Hello there Chris . Have you spoken to the FBI and the CIA about these leftist agitators ?  They really need your input .  According to them , and all their research sources , 90% of all violent attacks and plots in the first half of this year were perpetrated by far right extremists .  How could they be so misled ? 

Since you are in the USA at the moment , you are perfectly placed to set the record straight . Perhaps you could do this in one of your cutting edge interviews ?   And the sooner the better , it's a sad state of affairs when the government of the USA  employs 56,000 personnel and spends 25 billion bucks each annum on home security and can't even work out who the bad guys are .  Why would they think that far right militias are a threat ?

 Recently your comrade at Sky News , Paul Murray , ticked off former ambassador Joe Hockey during an interview because Joe stated that the leftist organization , Antifa , does not exist .  Young Paul's demographic is pure bogan and you could see that Joe was uncomfortable in that environment . I guess young Paul could sense his distaste , and took the opportunity to sink in the boot . 

 But strangely  Chris , security agencies in the USA have stated "  Antifa is not a homogeneous entity , and has no leadership apparatus or radicalized membership ."  Perhaps you could interview young Paul on the same show and he could set the security agencies straight . 

Lastly , I see that Sky News has largely eschewed the term "  Marxist " these days .  That is probably wise , since nobody has a clue what a Marxist is , which makes rational debate impossible .  But it had a good run , and I look forward to the seeing what scary sounding moniker takes it's place .

Your comrade , Ken .