Reference :- Andy Bolt is leaving Sky News , for a couple of months he tells us .
This is sudden news Andy . I hope it has nothing to do with the recent record number of "thumbs down " you attracted following your broadcast about neo- nazi symbols . Ken junior reckons it might be a consequence of that recent occasion when you drank whisky on set in front of one of your bosses . I reminded Ken junior that you did pour her a convivial glass . Although she didn't accept it very enthusiastically , despite your charmingly slurred description of it's impressive pedigree .
We will certainly miss you here at The Sky Reply , and look forward to your safe return . As you said , you always speak as you find , regardless of ratings , advertisers , lawyers and pressure from Mr Murdoch and his power brokers . Or , for that matter , the other Sky News opinion makers with whom you don't always agree. Real journalists must freely speak their minds and if that sometimes loses money for advertisers and shareholders , that is the price of truth .
Anyway Andy , The Sky Reply will clearly be short of material to work with during your sabbatical . Gabbo has suggested we tune into the ABC , but what is the point of that ? The ABC is riddled with journalists who selfishly use it as a platform to speak their own minds . And as you regularly remind us , this is an appalling waste of taxpayers money .
Coincidentally , Sky Reply contributor Monte will be away for precisely two months as well . Since I trust your discretion , I will reveal that he is spending two months in a nearby alcohol rehabilitation establishment . Monte's girlfriend left him recently and he has taken to the bottle . I remind him that she only left him because she found another boyfriend who is more handsome , rich , and better in bed . But there is no consoling him . Sadly , we could not tolerate his arrivals at work half plastered on moonshine . Here at the Sky Reply we take great pride in our professionalism , as you no doubt appreciate .
He has not been fired , and his job will still be here when he has dried out . Make sure you do come back Andy , because it's only the anticipation of your return that keeps Monte going at present .
Your comrade, Ken .
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