Reference :- Outspoken advocate for hard working families and enemy of "lefties ", Paul Murray , has been invited to speak at the Kooralya Workers' Alliance Annual General Meeting .
Dear Paul ,
The silly season upon us , and folk are eager to fraternize and enjoy a good laugh after all the lockdowns . Here in Kooralya we don't have access to the facilities enjoyed by folk in the big smoke , but we are proud of our local entertainment centre . It is a grand structure which was once the Kooralya Train Station , back in the days when efficient public transport was (rather quaintly ) considered to be worthwhile . Some of the corrugated iron is rusty , but most of the ceiling fans still work and many a tourist has commented on the interior design with it's charming juxtaposition of masonite and asbestos sheeting .
At the end of each year the Kooralya Workers Alliance has a general meeting at the entertainment centre and everybody in town shows up. We always have a guest speaker , and we are writing to you in the hope that you will accept the role this year . As a champion of the working class we know you will have much to say about the plight of hard working Australians .
Without being too presumptuous , the Sky Reply team thought it would be helpful if we gave you a few tips in advance . The ways of country folk vary from place to place , as you know , but we can assure you there are no crazy leftists in the Kooralya Workers Alliance . Just hard working folk who want the best for their families .
Ken junior will introduce you , straight after his speech calling for the proletariat to have democratic input regarding control of the means of production . He reckons that will give you a great opportunity to talk about the benefits of Workers Cooperatives .
Gabbo says you could also talk about the exploitation of indigenous cultures by the capitalist system and how this exploitation has also devastated the environment .
Monte is not much interested in ideology . Nevertheless , he has suggested that you refrain from using swear words so as to appear tough , since there will be children present . He also says that your penchant for feigning masturbation before a live audience will not serve you well out here in Kooralya . We may be a little old fashioned with our family values , but we do ask people to respect them .
It is always nice to finish an oration on a light hearted note , with a joke . I am sure you have a few humorous stories about those crazy lefties you always bang on about , and never having seen one out our way that might be of interest to members of our Worker's Alliance .
But if you are short of inspiration for a joke , Gabbo has a few beauties about stupid fat white men you could run with . I shouldn't tell you this , but we always present a gift to our guest speakers , and on this occasion we can present you with a copy of " A Brief History of Neoliberalism " by David Harvey .
It is a signed copy too . Gabbo wrote to Mr Harvey and he very kindly sent a few signed copies free of charge .
Don't forget to act surprised .
Your comrade , Ken .
P.S. If you are able to bring a photo of a crazy leftie that would be of great interest . Ken junior reckons they would all disguise themselves in suits and ties so they look sane , but that seems too obvious to me .
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