Reference :- Young Rowan is a bit sulky at present , and hasn't even bothered with his usual weather boy duties .
Greetings Rowan . Ken junior reckons it isn't only the fact that Mr Trump lost the popular vote by about 5 million that's got you all out of sorts . It will also be the fact that you said the pandemic panic would vanish now the election is over . And it hasn't . In fact just yesterday the daily record was broken yet again , with over 160,000 new cases . And a lot of folk are getting pretty upset about the death toll passing the quarter of a million mark .
But never mind , although you get virtually everything wrong lately you were almost on the money this time . You said that the pandemic would vanish and that Mr Trump's vote count would see a spectacular rise . Of course , it is Mr trump who has vanished , while the Covid count is on a spectacular rise, but you were close .
It's too late to save your credibility with that , but though you are clearly a bit sulky , don't let it get to you . Peta Credlin is still keen to interview you , and this is a good thing now that Andy Bolt has started bringing his whisky into the studio for dutch courage . Furthermore the Sky Reply team has been working on a story for you , so you can reclaim your position as comic weather boy .
The figures are in , and globally we have just experienced the hottest September on record with massive fires . You have prudently avoided this news , but the weeks are passing and record Christmas snow will doubtless precipitate somewhere in northern climes very soon . That will be your opportunity to prance around wearing a beanie and scarf while you laugh at the climate change conspirators . Of course , as usual you will need to fill in your time slot with a musical interlude ( it's too hard to write a full five minutes of content yourself , obviously ) .
So Rowan , here's an idea for some music you can pirate . You could run with the song by Josh Groban titled " Try to Remember " . which has the following lines .
Deep in December , it's nice to remember , The fire of September , that made you mellow .
And better still, you could use the version sung by Harry Belafonte . Mr Belafonte is a person of colour , as they say these days , and you could run the clip after one of young Andy Bolt's shows just to show that not everybody at Sky News is a racist . It's a bit cruel perhaps , but Andy's days at Sky News are numbered now he is on the grog , and it will make no difference to his fate if you use him as a foothold while you advance your own career .
Think it over .
Your comrade, Ken .
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