Reference :- At last Mr Morrison has called the election , and made a stirring speech to launch his campaign .

Reference :-  The press were eager for question time at the end of Mr Morrison's campaign launch address.   Unfortunately Mr Morrison had little time available to answer questions . 

 

Dear Mr Morrison , sir , 

                                               This is a very busy time for you , so we do appreciate the time you allowed for questions after delivering your first campaign speech .   Ken junior timed you , and said that 4 minutes and 15 seconds were far from adequate .  Certainly there were many disappointed hands waving as journalists begged to be heard , but there was no point in letting question time drag . Who knows what some cheeky journo might ask ?   

On the other hand , the press does seem to be shielding you from one big question , which stands like the proverbial pachyderm in the room .   That question is , of course , if you are trusted with another term in office , will you establish that  independent crime and corruption commission everybody talks about  ? 

You may dread that particular question , but there is a simple way to deal with it .  Just say " Yes".   And then don't do it .  It is a strategy that has served you well in the past . 

By the way , how are things working out with your  former ...sort of ... er... current ....but stood down ....minister Alan Tudge ?   Taxpayers  have already paid 500, 000 quid in damages to cover the cost of his shifty philandering , and this figure could reach a cool million before long . 

If he does return to his job as education minister ( and , naturally , dedicated family values advocate  ) might we suggest a cheaper way for him to manage his saucy proclivities  . 

 Our cousin,  Monique , runs a little " light housekeeping " business down at some place you may have heard of in Sydney called " King's Cross " .

She says she can"  entertain " any of your cabinet ministers for  300 quid per hour .  That sure is a big saving for the taxpayer .   We can vouch for Monique's discretion , respect and honesty , and we have told her that when dealing with the political elite she can expect the same in return . 

Your comrade , Ken 

PS . It sure was  ridiculous the way the opposition leader answered questions for such a long time at his own campaign launch .  It's a wonder people didn't start nodding off.  But never fear , the great unwashed do understand that actions speak louder than words .