Reference :- Rip open another packet of popcorn , Peta Credlin and young Andy Bolt are now back at Sky News !

Reference :-   Peta Credlin and Andy Bolt are back on the tele .   It may take awhile for that fact to be noticed . 

After a restful sabbatical , Peta and Andy are back at their desks .  As yet their audiences are so minute that they make the crowd at the Kooralya indoor bowls night look enormous , but hopefully word will quickly spread  .   The lads at The Sky Reply  expressed their  disbelief in the numbers . 

"  Surely Peta and Andy must be getting more views that ! ",  Ken junior said . 

" You would think more people would watch just for the laughs . " , Monte said . 

"  They would get more views if they stayed home and just filmed a drinking bird toy on their desks  for ten minutes . " ,   Gabbo said . 

 The more I think about it , the more I think there may be foul play afoot .  The comments that pile up beneath the Sky News presentations are riddled with spelling errors that would embarrass a four year old . The comments are so ill -informed and illogical that it's hard to imagine they are genuine . It makes me think that saboteurs are posting fake comments to discredit the Sky News team and drive viewers away .   I mean , for the love of God , who would like to be associated with such ghastly rhetoric  ?  

 Fake ignorant comments could be another version of the so called ' trolling " that greatly concerns Mr Morrison .  Obviously a man of his integrity is untroubled by criticism aimed at himself or his government  , but he is so worried about the impact of " trolling " on children that he has made the introduction  of new legislation to limit freedom of expression a priority . 

A wise move , what with an election looming and all . 

Anyway here at The Sky Reply we would like to help Sky News by posting comments that are not semi-literate vile rants  .  However , our resources are sadly limited and time does not permit .  Perhaps turning comments off might help ?

Your comrade , Ken 

 

 

 

Reference :- Break out the popcorn , Rowan Dean is back on Sky News !

Reference :-   Young Rowan Dean has returned to the tele screen in all his former glory .  

Dear Rowan , 

                         I always look forward to seeing your back , I mean you're back .  And what a delight to see you presenting a cutting edge report so soon after clocking back in at Sky News .  I refer , of course , to your in -depth analysis  of the shoes being worn by those chocolate M and M characters .  Something like that is so often overlooked by the great unwashed ( or poor chumps as Andy Bolt warmly refers to them)  . 

As you indicated , the sociopolitical implications of changing an M and M character's shoes are clearly far reaching , and without your diligence we would never be informed of such subversive activity . 

The laughably leftist media are filling our heads with rubbish about the threat of war in Ukraine ,  which the astute among us realize is merely a ploy to distract us from the M and M situation .  The woke folk must be rubbing their hands with glee . 

Anyway Rowan , keep up the good work .  We do miss your weather boy reports , but the clever way you slipped in a comment about  fake climate change while interviewing somebody about aged pensions tells me that we can expect another  Ice Age show before long . 

You don't need me to tell you this , but now old Jonesie is a spent force there is a vacant place at the top of the Sky News hierarchy .  Chris Kenny is so bitter these days he has lost all credibility . Rita Panahi laughs at tragedy so often she makes the joker from Batman look empathic  .  And as yet there is no sign of Peta Credlin's return .  Some say she is pining for her lost comrade ,  Jonesie .  Others unkindly whisper the  rumour that her botox injections went awry , leaving her with the countenance of a cynical witch .  I couldn't imagine that , could you ? 

The point is , Rowan , here is your big chance .  Now you have exposed the M and M scandal , let me share this .   Friends in the industry , whose identities must remain undisclosed  , inform  me that the Freddo Frog people are considering releasing another chocolate frog called Frida Frog to show that they support gender equality .  The only fly in the frog ointment is getting permission to give Frida Frog her trademark mono-brow , which may have copyright implications . 

Keep an eye on the situation Rowan , I reckon the Cadbury company could seize the opportunity to release Frida Frog on an unsuspecting public the moment catastrophic war erupts in Ukraine . 

There is no need to thank me for the tip -off , we are watching you vigilantly and look forward to assisting you in every way through 2022 . 

 Your comrade , Ken 

Reference :- Ken junior explained why he took so long securing our supplies in the big smoke .

Reference :-  Apparently the shelves are becoming bare in the shops everywhere of late . 

Ken junior tells us that he had to spend days in the big smoke shopping for our groceries .  Many of the shops had no stock of certain items  . And those that did often had limits per customer , meaning many visits to many shops . Fortunately he met a nice barmaid called Chantelle at a pub .  Chantelle knew the ropes , and led him around for a few days and steered him to the right places . 

All these shortages are due to those " supply chain difficulties " that we hear about on the tele every night .   But fortunately,  despite food being in short supply , and despite not being able to find any Rapid Antigen Tests  , there was no problem stocking up with all the beer we wanted .  I reckon they ought to consider distributing Rapid Antigen Tests using the same trucks that deliver booze, and sell them at bottle shops . 

Anyway , I asked Ken junior where he had packed the engine gasket kit Monte wanted for his  650 Yamaha .  

" I didn't get one . " , Ken junior said . 

" Why not ? " , I said . 

" Too much trouble , couldn't be bothered . Monte can get stuffed . I decided to spend the money taking Chantelle to the movies . ", Ken junior said . 

Later in the day I was in the kitchen  peeling some spuds for dinner when Monte suddenly arrived . 

" Where's my gasket kit for the Yamaha ? "  , Monte said . 

" Ken junior didn't get one . ",  I said .  

 " What ?  I need it badly . How come he didn't get one ? " ,  Monte said . 

 " Supply chain difficulties . Pass me that potato . ", I said . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference:- Ken junior is back from the big smoke.

Reference :-   Ken junior took days to return with our supplies . 

When he arrived back in Kooralya the first thing I wanted to know was why Ken junior  had taken so long to get our supplies .  

" The first thing I want to know is why you took so long to get our supplies . " , I said . 

Dog was jumping all over Ken junior ,  and running around him in tight circles wagging his tail furiously . 

 " It's a long story . Let's unpack first . Hey settle down Dog !  " , Ken junior said 

  Dog did no such thing . 

 Ken junior knelt down , grabbed Dog's collar with one hand and picked up a small stick with the other .  He looked  Dog  in the eyes . Dog tried to lick his face .  Ken junior winced and pulled his head back .

"Dog dog dog dog dog ! " , Ken junior said . 

 Ken junior threw the stick as far down the back yard as he could . Dog paused ,  watched it arc through the air and with ears pricked , noted that it landed beside the chook pen .

 " Go get it boy ! " , Ken junior said . 

Dog's eyes darted  towards the chook pen briefly , then he let out a little whimper ,  and jumped up to lick Ken junior's face again . 

" Get out of it you mongrel ! , Ken junior said .  

 Dog suddenly took off after the stick . 

The lads and I started unloading the ute , which proved to be an annoying task .  Mud stuck to our boots and left a trail down the hall.   Dog kept dropping a drool covered stick at our feet .  Ken junior had tied everything down with rope , using  his so called " truckie knots ' that don't quite release the way they should . 

"I see you have used your Gordian knots again . " , I said . 

" What does that mean ? " , Ken junior said . 

" It means you can't untie them unless you happen to be Alexander The Great with a bloody sword ." , I said . 

" Stop exaggerating , I 'll show you how to do it . " , Ken junior said . 

Ken junior walked to my side of the ute , looked at the knot , shook his head with disdain , and sliced through the rope with his pocket knife . 

"It's as simple as that . ' , Ken junior said . 

 I grabbed a carton of beer .

" I will take this up to the house. "  I said . 

 The lads watched me pick my way carefully through the muddy backyard , beer carton on one shoulder .

" Do you think he's given up ?" , Monte said . 

 " Yeah , I think so . ", Gabbo said . 

  They were right . 

 Your comrade , Ken 

" 

 

 

 

Reference :- We are running out of supplies out here in Kooralya .

Reference:-    The shelves at the local store are bare . Something must be done .  

We have run out of of groceries and other essentials at present . We used to call such a circumstance a life threatening shortage , although these days the preferred terminology is " supply chain problem " .   It's a long way to the big smoke . A gentleman of my years needs to take it easy , so I figured Ken junior should volunteer to undertake the long drive in the ute . 

"  You will have to take the ute and get some supplies . " , I said . 

 " Not to the big smoke , I hate it there . " , Ken junior said . 

 " We have no choice . " , I said 

  " But the roads are stuffed from the weekend floods . " ,  Ken junior said 

 "  We can't let the damage from a once in a hundred years flood deprive us of essential goods . ", I said 

"  That's the fifth once in a hundred years flood we've had since I got my license . ",  Ken junior said . 

" Be that as it may , you just have to make the trip. There a lots of things we need , and we are relying on you . " , I said . 

 " It's a bloody rat race down there , I won't go . ", Ken junior said . 

 " Look son , I know it is a rat race down there , but we don't need rapid antigen tests , they aren't vital right now ",  I said . 

" What is vital right now  ? " , Ken junior said . 

  " The items on this list I am handing you  . " ,  I said 

  Ken junior looked at the list . 

  " These things aren't very essential . " , Ken junior said . 

 " We are also out of beer . " ,  I said . 

 " Are the keys in the ute ? " ,  Ken junior said . 

   " Yeah. And don't thrash it , it's overdue for a service . " , I said . 

 We should see him back here by Saturday , all going well. 

 Your comrade , Ken 

Reference :- The Sky Reply doesn't usually cover sports news . But today is different .

Reference :-   Tennis champ Novak Djokovic  has been granted an exemption from covid vaccination so he can enter the country and make lots of money ... for himself and others . 

We were eating our cornflakes this morning when Ken junior spoke . 

" Novak Djokovic  had been granted a Covid exemption  . " ,  Ken junior said . 

" Who's Novak Djokovik ? " ,  I said . 

" He's the champ , he's coming to play at the Australian Open . "  , Ken junior said . 

 " The open what ? ", I said . 

 " Tennis . Pass the cornflakes . " , Ken junior said . 

 " Why did he get an exemption ",  I said . 

 " They won't say . " , Ken junior said . 

 That was no surprise .   Nobody in the halls of power ever tells us why they made a decision these days .  I guess that's because the explanation is always the same .... to pander to the rich and powerful . 

" He may be a privileged  pain in the arse , but he sure has a powerful backhand . "  , Monte said . 

" Stuff his powerful backhand  . A powerful backhander is what he deserves . " ,  I said .  

 Despite being tennis fans themselves , the lads agreed with me .  Lets hope the organizers lose money due to boycotts .  Personally I am not much into tennis . I don't even know how many serves there are in an over .  But it sure would be ironic if Mr Djokovic stepped off the plane into our covid infested environs and got  himself all clapped up with contagion .

Your comrade , Ken . 

Reference :- It's a shame Rowan Dean 's Ice Age Watch is in recess.

 Reference :-   A wildfire in Colorado destroyed over one thousand buildings before it was doused by winter snows. 

Dear Rowan , 

                           I hope your Ice Age Watch show returns to the airwaves soon .  Did you see that the Colorado wildfire was smothered by a sudden winter snowfall ?   That certainly proves that uncontrollable infernos aren't caused by summer heat waves .  This one happened in the middle of winter for Pete's sake . 

Ken junior  said that he sure wished  he could have seen you on the tele standing before images of snow falling on burnt out SUVs.     I am with him there , although I told him images  of snow on burnt out cars would have more impact .  Ken junior said that an SUV is a car .  The lad obviously doesn't know what he is talking about , but I let that one slip through to the keeper .

I hope you are enjoying a pleasant break and look forward to seeing you again soon .  It's a shame about your associate Alan Jones being sacked .  Then again , he is no spring chicken and it is probably wise for him to stay at home , what with the pandemonium surrounding the fake pandemic and all . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

Reference :- Ken junior saw a business opportunity , but I could smell a rat.

Reference :- Ken junior paid over the odds for some  Rapid Antigen Tests that he purchased on the web . 

 

Ken junior nearly fainted when his credit card bill arrived  , bloated as it is by Christmas spending .  

" I need to make some money fast . " ,  Ken junior said .  

" We live in the land of opportunity , you will think of something " ,  I said . 

A few days later we found a package on the verandah .  Dog sniffed it and lost interest immediately , 

but Ken junior grabbed it enthusiastically . 

" This is my ticket to financial independence . "  , Ken junior said . 

" What's in it ? " , Monte said . 

" A couple of dozen RATS . " , Ken junior said . 

"  What are you doing buying rats when there are a dozens in the shed you can catch for free . " , I said . 

" Jesus dad , these are Rapid Antigen Tests for Covid  . Every entrepreneur in the country has jumped on the  RAT bandwagon . I can sell these for a fortune ." , Ken junior said. 

"  Look son , we have laws against price gouging in this country . We have an independent authority called the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission .   Nobody will be allowed to price gouge for a vital health product .  The ACCC will come down on them like a ton of ironbark . ", I said . 

Well for some reason everybody started laughing.  They laughed and laughed and laughed until their ribs hurt . Then just when they had caught their breath Gabbo said  " Do you think Scotty from marketing is opposed to the concept of price gouging ? " , and everybody started laughing again . 

 Anyway , when everybody had calmed down Ken junior offered me a discount on one of his Rapid Antigen Tests .   

 " Hey dad , I can sell you one at a special rate . Only 45 quid to you , as a family member . " , Ken junior said . 

" These tests should be provided free of charge by the government ." , I said .

"  Mr Morrison tells us we can't have everything for free . Freebies distort the market . "  ,  Ken junior said . 

 " We didn't ask for  everything to be free . We asked for a crucial health test to be free . They are free in other countries . "  , I said . 

 " Like where ? . " Ken junior said . 

" Lots of countries , even France . " , I said . 

" Yeah , well that's the French for you . They don't even know the meaning of the word entrepreneur . ", Ken junior said . 

"Well you can stick you 45 quid test kit up your nose as far as I am concerned . " , I said . 

 It's amazing how debt can destroy a person's ethics .........and common sense . 

Your comrade , Ken .