Reference :- Young Rowan Dean has returned to the tele screen in all his former glory .
Dear Rowan ,
I always look forward to seeing your back , I mean you're back . And what a delight to see you presenting a cutting edge report so soon after clocking back in at Sky News . I refer , of course , to your in -depth analysis of the shoes being worn by those chocolate M and M characters . Something like that is so often overlooked by the great unwashed ( or poor chumps as Andy Bolt warmly refers to them) .
As you indicated , the sociopolitical implications of changing an M and M character's shoes are clearly far reaching , and without your diligence we would never be informed of such subversive activity .
The laughably leftist media are filling our heads with rubbish about the threat of war in Ukraine , which the astute among us realize is merely a ploy to distract us from the M and M situation . The woke folk must be rubbing their hands with glee .
Anyway Rowan , keep up the good work . We do miss your weather boy reports , but the clever way you slipped in a comment about fake climate change while interviewing somebody about aged pensions tells me that we can expect another Ice Age show before long .
You don't need me to tell you this , but now old Jonesie is a spent force there is a vacant place at the top of the Sky News hierarchy . Chris Kenny is so bitter these days he has lost all credibility . Rita Panahi laughs at tragedy so often she makes the joker from Batman look empathic . And as yet there is no sign of Peta Credlin's return . Some say she is pining for her lost comrade , Jonesie . Others unkindly whisper the rumour that her botox injections went awry , leaving her with the countenance of a cynical witch . I couldn't imagine that , could you ?
The point is , Rowan , here is your big chance . Now you have exposed the M and M scandal , let me share this . Friends in the industry , whose identities must remain undisclosed , inform me that the Freddo Frog people are considering releasing another chocolate frog called Frida Frog to show that they support gender equality . The only fly in the frog ointment is getting permission to give Frida Frog her trademark mono-brow , which may have copyright implications .
Keep an eye on the situation Rowan , I reckon the Cadbury company could seize the opportunity to release Frida Frog on an unsuspecting public the moment catastrophic war erupts in Ukraine .
There is no need to thank me for the tip -off , we are watching you vigilantly and look forward to assisting you in every way through 2022 .
Your comrade , Ken
No comments:
Post a Comment