Reference :- Popular Prime Minister and public relations expert , Mr Scott Morrison , shot his mouth off...again .

Reference :-   Oh , and also cowered in his office to evade a demonstration outside Parliament House .  

Dear Prime Minister of the day , 

 It's a bit rich of the media to condemn you for not coming out of your office to listen to the thousands of women who are distressed because they feel nobody listens to them  . What would that have achieved ?  Indeed one must always remember the golden rule of politics .  " Avoid bad publicity at all costs . " 

The protesters also claim there is a culture of secrecy in the halls of power .  If that is true , the proper place to discuss these issues is privately in the parliament building , not outside where everybody can hear what is said .  

As a gesture of goodwill , perhaps you should have asked the leaders of the protest to join you in a private room  ( the Defence Minister's office would be ideal) where you could discuss the matter over a few glasses of champagne and later adjourn to peruse some etchings .    You could have asked Sir Les Patterson  ( Is he still  Arts Minister ? ) to swing on by to liven the soiree . 

Anyway Mr Morrison , sir , your comment that demonstrations in other countries  are often " met with bullets " was an inspiration .   That got your meaning across to those protesting against violence without  actually saying that they were lucky they hadn't been shot .  

The entire incident reminded me of the time when President Nixon and Henry Kissinger hid in the White House while angry anti - Vietnam protesters surrounded them .  Mr Nixon sure knew how to tactfully deal with insurrection , and that was the key to his success.

All those years studying marketing are serving you well, Mr Morrison .  

I reckon marketing must be a broad ranging subject  .  You only have to look at the likes of young  Matt Canavan to be impressed by the fact that studying how to flog stuff to suckers also trains you as an expert in epidemiology and climate change . 

Keep up the good work . 

 Your comrade  , Ken . 

P.S .  You sure impressed my cousin Wilma .   

 " Oh how I would love to get my hands on that man ! "   she said .

Reference :- The Sky News hosts have had much to say about Meghan Markle and her recent interview with Oprah Winfrey .

Reference :-   Sky News hosts unanimously agreed that Meghan Markle is a narcissistic publicity seeker  . 

Dear award winning journalists at Sky News,

Last week Ken junior had never heard of this Meghan Markle woman . But since then  the Sky News hosts have spent so much time discussing her , that he now knows more about her than he does about his own father . 

 Meghan is clearly a shameless publicity hound ,  but who better than Sky News to stymie her attempts at self promotion ?   Since you are doubtless busy researching your ground breaking stories , the lads here at The Sky Reply  (and Mrs Johnson from down the road , on whom we rely for insights into the female psyche ) herewith offer advice regarding a way to exile Meghan to the wastelands of obscurity she so richly deserves . 

You achieved little by having a mere 7 reporters discuss Meghan's lust for publicity at length .  What you need is a series of ten half hour episodes each addressing one of Meghan's particular gripes.  The episodes  could be followed by a one hour programme evaluating the Oprah Winfrey interview .  Peta Credlin could do that . She could use the rest of the creepy music she found for  her mini documentary / horror movie  " Dangerous Decisions ", since presumably that has already been paid for.

Ken junior has suggested the title  " Mutinous Meghan " , which you can use gratis . 

That ought to show Meghan the futility of her obsession with publicity .  And Sky News will score thousands of views as folk tune in to hear about the increasing prevalence of brazen  publicity stunts .

 Your comrade , Ken . 

P.S.    Do you know how tall Meghan is ?    Ken junior  wants to know .

Reference :- Sky News was horrified to see colourful conservative broadcaster Piers Morgan lose his job at ITV .

Reference :-  And it was all about Meghan Markle ... like everything  these days .  Alan Jones summed it up pretty well .

Gosh Alan .  As you say , Piers is so refreshing to watch compared with " the woke who are offended by everything and anything "  , as you cleverly remarked .  Things won't be the same without him .  But you can't blame him for flouncing out of his own show after taking offence during a discussion . Why should he put up with criticism on his own show ?   It is his role to offend others , not endure offense himself . 

Anyway , I must  admit that Piers did his flouncing in a very mature and dignified manner , which reflects the high standards to which he has always adhered . 

I tried to get Ken junior to watch the video of Piers gracefully storming from his own show .  That kind of behavior serves as a fine  example for the young .   But Ken junior wasn't interested . 

"  Piers Morgan just lost his job over his Meghan Markle comments "   ,  I said 

" Who is that ? "    Ken junior said . 

 "  He is a frank and earnest television broadcaster in Old Blighty " , I said 

" I know that silly old twit , but who the hell is Meghan Markle ?  , Ken junior said 

 As you say Alan , the youth of today are sadly out of touch . 

 Your comrade ,    Ken .

 

Reference :- Termagent Sky News host , Peta Credlin , has a difficult balancing act to perform .

Reference :-    Peta Credlin is wobbling on a tightrope as she tries to grab the Prime Minister before he falls . 

Gee Peta , this sure is a tough situation for you .   You are a woman , at least in the broadest sense of the word , and it would be perilous to ignore the loud cries for female justice echoing through the marbled halls of power . ( Also the media . ) 

You are no fool , and you clearly understand that half of the folk who voted for  young Scott Morrison in the last election  are blessed with two  "X" chromosomes .  It is too awful to think what would happen if they withdrew their support for the LNP  because  they somehow got the impression that the party is fairly choked full with rapists and misogynists . 

 On the other hand , you are duty bound to defend the current government .  Young Scott Morrison is almost as rattled as Christian Porter at present . You can tell by the way he keeps getting his dates confused and often forgets things he was told about back in 2019 .   Christian himself is understandably a total mess , and one has to wonder if he is in any state of mind to do his job . 

Personally I don't know what his job entails , but it is bound to be demanding . Especially when you take into account all the scheming in the background he must undertake as he claws his way towards the top job .   

Furthermore , young Christian looks to me like he could be a bit of a pants man , and we all know how much valuable time such proclivities can consume . 

 Anyway Peta , the team at The Sky Reply , safely distanced from the whole shabby affair ,  have been able to think things through with their heads clear .   We offer herewith a plan of action that might save the government

 Young Scott Morrison made a tactical error two years ago when he was addressing the issue of sexual assault against women .    " It's important that their stories are believed "  , he said .  This means he has no choice but to support an inquiry .  The legal fraternity see no issue with this  . Young Scott often leans on his family to solicit public sympathy .  His father was a policeman , and doubtless he feels the police are the people one must consult in this difficult situation   And naturally he supports the police when they say they can't do anything .  But on this occasion an inquiry is his only option . 

As for poor Christian Porter , he should step down . His assertion that he is protecting all of us by not allowing the media to ruin his career rings hollow indeed .  If he steps down and other politicians are subsequently flooded with vexatious accusations of sexual assault , that will need to be addressed .  But it hasn't happened before , and is unlikely to happen this time .  It seems unwise to pay Mr Porter 350 grand each annum if he can't concentrate on his job . 

Of course , Mr Morrison has been known to shove  the occasional comrade under the proverbial bus when it suits his purposes .  When he calms down a tad , I figure Mr Porter will see the  04/21 bus to the back bench heading his way and climb on board before he is shoved . 

As for how Sky News handles all this , don't forget you can rely on one of your usual fall back positions . 

Say this .   "  Look , the government has faced some serious issues , and has agreed , as it should , to an inquiry .  This will be another expensive exercise . But remember , if Labor and the Greens were running the country we would have no money to pay for an inquiry . "

Remember to talk fast . When a listener has to strain to grasp the content of your diatribe it makes them feel a bit stupid .  This lends you a veneer of superiority .

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

Reference :- Ken junior is pretty smug about his Attorney- General prediction .

 Reference :- How did Ken junior do it ? 

As an older chap, I am not much interested in salacious gossip . But Ken junior , annoyingly in his prime , has a great interest in such matters , and likes to keep his fingers on the pulse , so to speak.  This is why his hunch about the Attorney - General proved to be on the money .

I asked Ken junior what gossip I had missed . 

And Ken junior told me that several people reckon they had seen a boozed up young Christian Porter cuddling and kissing somebody at the Manuka Pub in Canberra  back in 2017.  Young Christian's wife and toddler were in Perth at the time , and he may have been unable to get their permission for such behaviour at short notice . 

A journalist supposedly took a photo , but is said to have been bullied into deleting it by another of our honorable politicians whom I have decided to leave unnamed . 

  Actually I have changed my mind  . It was Alan Tudge . 

Anyway , young Christian was given a stern talking to by Prime Minister of the day , Malcolm Turnbull , and warned that committing  deplorable turpitude would damage his chances of becoming Attorney- General  , and furthermore , was a serious security risk . 

Young Christian was not entirely free with the truth about the matter when approached by the media . 

The lads who knew him during his Salad Days at Uni were unsurprised . 

He had quite a reputation .

Well, I reckon this was indeed a pretty useful hint for Ken junior , so I won't give him too much credit for his prediction . 

 Monte , who likes to draw cartoons ,  whipped up a quickie to illustrate the point .  

  It showed a line up of assorted characters from children's books .   They were Donald Duck , Mickey Mouse ,  The Cat in the Hat ,  and Yogi Bear . 

  " I wonder which one was caught defecating in the woods ? "    the caption read . 

 Your comrade , Ken .

P.S .    I didn't bother to ask Ken junior if young Christian was reported as kissing a young woman or wildly making out with a gorgeous and virile young man .  Such things don't interest me . 

Reference :- Sky News host Peta Credlin might have plagiarised us .

Reference :-    Peta Credlin launched an article with words we had used in a recent post . 

Regular readers may recall our  headline " Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned "  , which referred to Peta Credlin ,  who had been uncharacteristically spiteful after losing a legal battle with former Prime Minister , Kevin Rudd . 

And now Peta has run with the headline " Hell hath no fury like a Prime Minister scorned ". 

On this occasion she was referring to former P.M. Malcolm Turnbull  , which is wise , since she should not risk another punitive fine from the courts for comments about Kevin Rudd . 

Anyway , here at The Sky Reply , we feel that we have been plagiarised .   Not that we are terribly concerned .   Some time back we suggested that the Sky Weatherboy , Rowan Dean should cut his hair  so his wild rants about the climate appear more plausible .   *.   " You don't want to look like a member of the lunatic fringe . " ,   we advised .  He subsequently adopted the short back and sides look with his coiffure .

 We also indicated that Rowan's offsider , Rita Panahi , appeared foolish because of the alliaceous alliteration she ran in her banner headlines .  And she stopped using alliteration .  . 

 Furthermore  , we suggested that Sky host Andrew Bolt might need to take a few weeks off to dry out . And indeed he did appear do that .... more or less . 

 The Sky Reply is more than willing to offer advice gratis , although the occasional acknowledgement from those who make a packet working for the Murdoch empire would be appreciated . 

Your comrade , Ken

*.   Footnote .   Rowan often confuses weather with climate . 

 

 

 

 

Reference :- We don't get told very much by our employees in the Federal Government these days .

Reference :-    It is hard to run a Sky Reply when nobody tells us much . 

 

It has been pretty dull in the Sky Reply office .  Monte suggested we pass the time playing a board game . 

 Ken junior thought that playing a game of Cluedo might be fun , so we set up the old board on the coffee table .   It has been ages since I last played Cluedo , but the rules are not complex or subtle . 

The main idea is to uncover the details of the crime as you move about the board deceiving the other players as much as possible by answering as few of their questions as you can . 

We hadn't been playing for long when Ken junior moved  his token  (The Reverend Green , ironically ) into the Study . 

" I am making an accusation " , Ken junior said . 

"  Alright , go ahead "  , I said . 

 "  I accuse the Attorney- General of doing it in the Study with Rohypnol " , Ken junior said. 

"  What are you talking about ?   There are no cards for those things .  They can't possibly be in the Solution Cards Envelope  "   ,  I said . 

The lads laughed their heads off ,  for some reason . 

 " Scott Morrison sure would like to have a Solution Card to play "  , Gabbo said . 

 The lads all laughed again .  

  " What the hell are you going on about ? "   I said . 

  I guess I just don't understand the modern sense of humor . 

 Your comrade , Ken .