Reference :- Peta Credlin is wobbling on a tightrope as she tries to grab the Prime Minister before he falls .
Gee Peta , this sure is a tough situation for you . You are a woman , at least in the broadest sense of the word , and it would be perilous to ignore the loud cries for female justice echoing through the marbled halls of power . ( Also the media . )
You are no fool , and you clearly understand that half of the folk who voted for young Scott Morrison in the last election are blessed with two "X" chromosomes . It is too awful to think what would happen if they withdrew their support for the LNP because they somehow got the impression that the party is fairly choked full with rapists and misogynists .
On the other hand , you are duty bound to defend the current government . Young Scott Morrison is almost as rattled as Christian Porter at present . You can tell by the way he keeps getting his dates confused and often forgets things he was told about back in 2019 . Christian himself is understandably a total mess , and one has to wonder if he is in any state of mind to do his job .
Personally I don't know what his job entails , but it is bound to be demanding . Especially when you take into account all the scheming in the background he must undertake as he claws his way towards the top job .
Furthermore , young Christian looks to me like he could be a bit of a pants man , and we all know how much valuable time such proclivities can consume .
Anyway Peta , the team at The Sky Reply , safely distanced from the whole shabby affair , have been able to think things through with their heads clear . We offer herewith a plan of action that might save the government
Young Scott Morrison made a tactical error two years ago when he was addressing the issue of sexual assault against women . " It's important that their stories are believed " , he said . This means he has no choice but to support an inquiry . The legal fraternity see no issue with this . Young Scott often leans on his family to solicit public sympathy . His father was a policeman , and doubtless he feels the police are the people one must consult in this difficult situation And naturally he supports the police when they say they can't do anything . But on this occasion an inquiry is his only option .
As for poor Christian Porter , he should step down . His assertion that he is protecting all of us by not allowing the media to ruin his career rings hollow indeed . If he steps down and other politicians are subsequently flooded with vexatious accusations of sexual assault , that will need to be addressed . But it hasn't happened before , and is unlikely to happen this time . It seems unwise to pay Mr Porter 350 grand each annum if he can't concentrate on his job .
Of course , Mr Morrison has been known to shove the occasional comrade under the proverbial bus when it suits his purposes . When he calms down a tad , I figure Mr Porter will see the 04/21 bus to the back bench heading his way and climb on board before he is shoved .
As for how Sky News handles all this , don't forget you can rely on one of your usual fall back positions .
Say this . " Look , the government has faced some serious issues , and has agreed , as it should , to an inquiry . This will be another expensive exercise . But remember , if Labor and the Greens were running the country we would have no money to pay for an inquiry . "
Remember to talk fast . When a listener has to strain to grasp the content of your diatribe it makes them feel a bit stupid . This lends you a veneer of superiority .
Your comrade , Ken .
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