Reference : - Liberal MP Craig Kelly was interviewed by an experienced British meteorologist . Oh dear .

Reference :-    Craig didn't look good in this interview with British meteorologist Laura Tobin , but then he dug an even deeper grave for himself later on Facebook.  

 Holy cow Craig .   It was bad enough that you were excoriated in the interview , but did you have to leap on facebook and throw your already cooked goose into the incinerator ?   It is always wise to know who your interviewer actually is , and not simply assume she is some Fox bimbo .   And you had the time to check that out before your fingers touched the Facebook keyboard to foolishly type the following childish insult .   "  Ignorant pommy weather girl calls me a climate change denier "     That sure is a beauty Craig .   I don't know how you could have crammed more sexism , racism , or science denial into fewer words . I suspect you may be a natural poet .

But to put you straight , Laura Tobin is actually a qualified meteorologist . She attained her degree in Physics and Meteorology from Reading University 17 years ago and has vast experience , including as a meteorological advisor for the Royal Air Force . 

 Which begs the question Craig , what are your qualifications ? And I mean beyond furniture sales , which didn't work out very well for you .  Maybe you should put a link on Facebook so we can marvel at your great academic achievements .   Meanwhile , have you noticed the hurtful and vile comments you have triggered ?    It says a lot about your cohort of followers that they would call a female scientist they have never met a " trollop " .  That doesn't sound very gentlemanly to me , or am I just old fashioned Craig ?   Perhaps you could ask your fans to try and be more polite . 

The propaganda pamphlet , unjustifiably called " The Australian ",   applauded you for how you handled  the interview , which was rather like cheering Goliath after he had copped a flogging by young David in that bible story .

 My son , Ken junior  , doesn't like you Craig , and has a nickname for you .  When you come on the tube he always shouts out  " Hey dad , that  Grace Kelly guy is on again" .   I don't quite get the joke , but it has something to do with you being the antithesis of that movie star's beauty , poise and intelligence .  It's not as cruel as "ignorant pommy" or "trollop"  , but it's about as hard as he likes to go.  He is a quarter of your age Craig , but gave up resorting to puerile taunts in primary school .

I guess that shortly Andy Bolt will be back , and you will have a chance to vent your spleen in an interview .  If you want some advice about how to handle yourself so you don't appear too stupid  ,  I reckon I can talk Ken junior into tutoring you beforehand  .  He only charges 10 quid an hour so it should only cost you a few grand to learn the basics .   

  Your comrade , Ken

 
    

 
 

 

 

Reference :- Andy Bolt , where the bloody hell are ya ?

Reference :-   Sky News anchor Andy Bolt is still away from his desk .  Could it be that after months of telling us that there was nothing cataclysmic happening with the weather , he feels a bit stupid? 

 Come on Andy , don't sulk . So you were wrong , but hey , everybody makes a monumental cock up from time to time . It's only human , and you are not the first person to spend months making ridiculous  unsubstantiated claims while viciously mocking those who know better .  Nobody is saying you were being deliberately dishonest , though some might think it . 

 Like most of your fans I am perfectly willing to accept your misguided ravings as merely a hideous gaff, occasioned by your own profoundly unsound thinking .   Some people are very reluctant to admit their errors , and red faced , will splutter with fury when accused of making fallacious arguments .  But that isn't you , is it Andy ?   You are man enough to just front foot it and say  "   Everything I have said for the past few months has been breathtakingly untrue , and I humbly apologise for my defective reasoning ".

And Andy , don't think anybody got any pleasure out of watching you make a total fool of yourself .  Well,  except maybe for my son Ken junior's mate Gabbo ( the aborigine ) .  He keeps reminding us that his people managed the country for over 60, 000 years , and then a bunch of pig headed white idiots stuffed the place totally in a handful of decades .  

Please  come back  Andy , and face the music like the honorable man we know you are .  Gabbo may laugh  his head off at you initially , but hey , then he will forgive .  He is that kind of guy . 

 Your comrade , Ken 

          

      

Reference :- Sky anchor Chris Smith blamed " Greenies " for the severe bushfires .

Reference :-   Apparently , says Chris Smith , the fires wouldn't be as bad if crazy greenies hadn't stopped load reduction burning .  Is he scapegoating ?

 Gee Chris .  There are 129 local councils in NSW , and there are only 5 sitting green Mayors .  Less than a quarter of local councils in NSW even  have a greenie on council.   Those five greenie mayors must be pretty bloody influential if they have wrecked the whole state .  Oh , and by the way , for many years the Greens have had a bushfire policy that includes back burning and load reduction burning .

Former NSW  Fire and Rescue Commissioner , Greg Mullins , has stated "  Blaming greenies is a familiar and populist , but basically untrue claim  ".

And , of course , it goes without saying that the greens have not been in government at state or federal level since ..... oh that's right ..... ever . 

It sure looks like you made a blue with this one Chris .  If you need another scapegoat , my son Ken junior can help you out . He reckons scapegoating the greens is so ridiculous that it shouldn't be too hard to find another  more plausible group to blame .   He wonders if you have thought of blaming the feral goats ?    God knows what they are doing to the environment . They breed like mad out here, and while everything else is dying in the drought they somehow manage to survive ..... a little too well if you ask me . 

   Ken junior is happy to research it for you Chris , as you obviously have no time for research yourself.

 And the worst you can do is to be half wrong , because even if it turns out that they aren't responsible , they are still goats , hey Chris . 

Your comrade , Ken .
 

Reference :- First Dog on the Moon is back in today's Guardian .

Reference :-   First Dog on the Moon has returned , thank heavens .  We were going through withdrawal out here in Kooralya .

What a lovely surprise , thank you Mr Marlton .  Sadly as your cartoon winged it's way through the ether to our humble farm , it picked up a lot of soot and ash , and arrived at my son Ken junior's laptop badly discoloured .   Nevertheless it is still a sight for sore eyes .     Later , I heard on the wireless that the millions of native creatures you reminded us we have killed with our foolishness have now been more accurately quantified  by scientists .   They reckon the figure is around 650 million ..and rising .   As a species we sure have allowed greed to blot our copybook badly . 

 Thanks again for coming back .

  Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- Where are the usual Sky News anchors ? We miss them .

Reference :-   With the country in flames and images on the news the like of which we have never seen before , you would think that Andy Bolt and Co wouldn't be able to resist telling us how to think about it all.

 Andy , we are all stocked up with popcorn here , and eagerly anticipate the reappearance of you and your compadres at Sky News .  What next , my man , what next ?   First you told me that the kids shouldn't be missing school to protest climate change . In fact a government minister even told them they would be better off at school learning how to mine coal .   Then you expressed  concern that all the talk about climate change was needlessly frightening them .  ( I know you couldn't care less about anybody's kids , but hey , they don't know that ) .  And now , in your absence , they are being needlessly frightened by being told to stay indoors because of the smoke , as they watch the local school collapse in a smouldering pile of ashes .

  I have no idea what to tell the kids next , but Andy , I am sure you have something clever to say about it all that will calm them down .   Obviously I can't tell them to go back to school , or not to be frightened of the fires in the nearby hills . Especially since the local firefighters came to the house and told us they don't have the resources to protect us , and we are on our own .   Any suggestions ?  Have you got any more of those sepia  newspapers that show us it was worse than this in the past ?   And what has become of your weather genius mate ,  Mr Rowan Dean ?   He used to cheer us up with pictures of record snow in one of the countries that isn't experiencing record heatwaves  or record droughts , and the mature way he calmly analysed the data was reassuring . 

 My son , Ken junior  , fears you may not be coming back , and feels deserted .   I tell him there are probably record fires surrounding your domicile too , and that you , like many others , are trapped and out of everything from food to toilet paper .  If that is the case , don't fret Andy , for Mr Morrison can be relied upon to look after you .  As he says , you just have to be patient and hold on .

Anyway Andy , we look forward to hearing you explain to us again that the heat records are based on rigged figures , and that the fires are neither unprecedented nor catastrophic .   The popcorn is ready .

    Your comrade , Ken .   

 P.S.   If you are talking to Mr Morrison could you advise him to stay away from the smoke , it is making him hyperventilate when he is interviewed and it gives the impression he can't cope .

  

 

Reference :- Has anybody noticed this ?

Reference :-     The bushfires are a national disaster , and for weeks now the television has been showing us interviews with professional firefighters , volunteers and folk dealing with the crises as they arise .   Have others noticed what I have , about these interviews ?


We are so accustomed to the slick marketing lines that pour from the mouths of our political leaders , that listening to the fire chiefs reminds us that, thankfully , not everybody in authority is an
incompetent self serving sociopath .   Mr Morrison is incapable of concealing his indifferent smirk, and many of the others , though smirk free , can't hide their annoyance .   You can tell they are thinking  "  Why did this have to happen on my watch ? "   But the fire chiefs , and emergency personnel ,  despite missing out on the government's  190,000 quid  " how to connect with ordinary people " training sessions ,  reveal themselves  as intelligent , competent and empathic  .

Unlike our politicians , they don't speak in cliches , they are not self serving , and they know what they are talking about .  And unlike many of our highest paid news presenters, they are not smug , egotistical and self opinionated .
That is quite a relief , though one can't help but wonder why the people charged with the responsibility of running the country , and informing us of current affairs, are generally of such low calibre .
I guess that ultimately it is our own fault , because we vote for them , or tune into them . 

 If we didn't  they would all be out of a job . 

   
   Your comrade ,  Ken    

Reference :- Australian rock star Tex Perkins gave Prime Minister Mr Morrison the finger during a New Year's concert in Sydney .

Reference :-   It was mentioned on the wireless that Mr Perkins  " appeared to have suffered no consequences after he insulted the Prime Minister , since he was on stage again within the hour to continue singing ".     What consequences should we expect ?

Personally I am not a huge fan of Tex Perkins , though the song in question ,
" The Honeymoon is Over " is pretty catchy .   My son , Ken junior is a fan .  He bought me one of those CD things and a disc  so I could listen to Tex , but each time I feel the need to relax with a beer and calm the soul with some music , I usually go straight to the gramophone and put on a Val Doonican record . 

But I wonder what it is that folk think could have happened to Tex , after he waved his digit in the direction of Kirribilli?     Did they think a swat team might arrive and drag him off to Guantanamo Bay or something ?   When you think about it , even the New York Times has described Australia's government as the most secretive in the western world , and what with dozens of laws being passed over the past few years that have knocked us out of the top twenty countries for freedom of the press , maybe Tex should watch out .

Back in the good old days , you could throw a shoe at the Prime Minister , even a humorless one  like Mr Howard , and nobody thought for a moment there could be serious consequences .   And the cops didn't have such a large arsenal of lethal weapons , as I recall.

 Anyway , I was going to put that CD thing into the player and listen to Tex sing " The Honeymoon is Over "  , as a tribute to Mr Morrison  when I noticed my favourite Val Doonican  album and remembered  it featured the song " The Party is Over " .  So I  am playing that instead .    It's manages to reveal the same sentiment more calmly .   I particularly like the lines

                                            "It's time to break up , this masquerade .
                                              Just make your mind up,
                                              The piper must be paid. "

 I guess the problem for Mr Morrison is that paying the piper might hurt the budget surplus .

 Ken junior , the pest , just yelled something about  " turn that crap off dad , I can't stand it "  so I had better go for now .  
                                  Your comrade , Ken