Reference :- Where are the usual Sky News anchors ? We miss them .

Reference :-   With the country in flames and images on the news the like of which we have never seen before , you would think that Andy Bolt and Co wouldn't be able to resist telling us how to think about it all.

 Andy , we are all stocked up with popcorn here , and eagerly anticipate the reappearance of you and your compadres at Sky News .  What next , my man , what next ?   First you told me that the kids shouldn't be missing school to protest climate change . In fact a government minister even told them they would be better off at school learning how to mine coal .   Then you expressed  concern that all the talk about climate change was needlessly frightening them .  ( I know you couldn't care less about anybody's kids , but hey , they don't know that ) .  And now , in your absence , they are being needlessly frightened by being told to stay indoors because of the smoke , as they watch the local school collapse in a smouldering pile of ashes .

  I have no idea what to tell the kids next , but Andy , I am sure you have something clever to say about it all that will calm them down .   Obviously I can't tell them to go back to school , or not to be frightened of the fires in the nearby hills . Especially since the local firefighters came to the house and told us they don't have the resources to protect us , and we are on our own .   Any suggestions ?  Have you got any more of those sepia  newspapers that show us it was worse than this in the past ?   And what has become of your weather genius mate ,  Mr Rowan Dean ?   He used to cheer us up with pictures of record snow in one of the countries that isn't experiencing record heatwaves  or record droughts , and the mature way he calmly analysed the data was reassuring . 

 My son , Ken junior  , fears you may not be coming back , and feels deserted .   I tell him there are probably record fires surrounding your domicile too , and that you , like many others , are trapped and out of everything from food to toilet paper .  If that is the case , don't fret Andy , for Mr Morrison can be relied upon to look after you .  As he says , you just have to be patient and hold on .

Anyway Andy , we look forward to hearing you explain to us again that the heat records are based on rigged figures , and that the fires are neither unprecedented nor catastrophic .   The popcorn is ready .

    Your comrade , Ken .   

 P.S.   If you are talking to Mr Morrison could you advise him to stay away from the smoke , it is making him hyperventilate when he is interviewed and it gives the impression he can't cope .