Reference : A 95 year old woman has been tasered by the police in a nursing home .

Reference :-  It must be terrifying to be confronted by a 95 year old in a walking aid coming at you with a steak knife . 

The entire western world is morbidly fascinated by the tasering of this 95 year old woman in a nursing home . 

I certainly hope the Chinese are unaware of the incident . It might lead them to believe that we are a bunch of whimps who would be a pushover to conquer if it came to war .  Doubtless they have plenty of 95 year olds to conscript .

Obviously the police need special training  if we now expect them to face a  95 year old women rushing at them in a walking aid . 

There is no point in taking a half baked approach to this . My advice is that any police who are sent to the " frontline " of a nursing home should have at least 12 months training with the SAS regiment of the Australian Army .  And if the army won't  help ,  I would advise sending a letter to Israel asking for help from Mossad .  They certainly know how to train people . 

We must sort this out as soon as possible , before we become a laughing stock . 

Your comrade, Ken

 

Reference:- President Putin claims that his soldiers have taken the city of Bakhmut .

Reference :- President Zelensky denies Putin's claim  that the Russians have taken Bakhmut .

 We were eating our oatmeal this morning , when Ken junior spoke . 

"  Putin says the Russians have taken Bakhmut . " , Ken junior said . 

" President Zelensky says they have not . ",  I said . 

" Somebody is lying . " ,  Ken junior said . 

"  And that will be Putin . ", I said 

" Why not Zelensky ? " , Ken junior said . 

" Because he is the good guy , and only the bad guys lie . ",  I said . 

It would have been interesting to discuss the matter further , but Ken junior started coughing  and rushed to the bathroom choking on his oatmeal . 

 " What was that all about ? ",  I said . 

"  Here's a famous quote . 'The first casualty when war comes is truth ' . " ,  Gabbo said . 

" Well that's obvious . The other side always starts lying . ", I said . 

 Gabbo suddenly started spluttering and rushed to the bathroom choking like Ken junior . 

 I emptied all the oatmeal into the bin . It must be past it's use by date . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference:- The dowager of Sky News , Peta Credlin , discussed the " weaponising " of language .

Reference :-   Peta Credlin disapproves of weaponised language , as we all do . 

Dear Peta , 

                     That was a great show last night .  It is certainly time that somebody spoke up about "weaponised language " , which has greatly diminished the standard of public discourse .  The left have sunk to new lows , but thankfully the Sky News team have retained their high principles. 

These are difficult times for conservatives , but we must never lower our standards and resort to the pathetic name calling tactics that the virtue signalling snowflakes of the woke brigade use as their tools of trade  .

Name calling is the last weapon of the defeated , which is something I always bear in mind when I am insulted by one of the latte sipping dole bludging marxist feminazis down at the coffee shop   .  Those witches .

Sadly ,  there are too many tree hugging bolshevics ensconced in the ivory towers of wackademia these days .  And our kids are exposed to these nerds,  and the climate crazies of the greenie left , on a daily basis . 

Little wonder that we have spawned a generation of demented social justice warriors and leftards . 

Anyway Peta , like you and the rest of your team , I will continue to  preserve the dignity of our language , and the standard of our debate  .   It's an important job we have , since the pencil pushers in the Canberra bubble won't address the issue  . 

Keep up the good work . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference:- The Sky News Team is struggling .

Reference:-  The Sky News after dark commentators are becoming increasingly desperate . 

Dear purveyors of trustworthy opinions and newsworthy matters , 

 Holy smoke you guys !  When is the last time you sat down on top of a mirror and had a good look at yourselves ?  (   Ken junior tells me the expression is  " sat down in front of a mirror  ", but what's the difference ? ) 

And furthermore , when is the last time you interviewed a politician whose qualifications were not preceded by the adjective " former " ?   Folk tend to become " former " leaders or ministers because they were incompetent  .   Although , I will admit that incompetency is not the only reason such folk lose their jobs . Obviously there are the sex and corruption scandals too , but that does not invalidate the point I am making .      The performance of the Sky News commentators is very substandard lately .   I mentioned this to Ken junior . 

" The performance of the Sky News commentators is very substandard lately ",  I said . 

" They are facing dark times . " ,  Ken junior said . 

Anyway , as a keen fan , I suggest that you interview the folk who run the country , not those who were ousted or did a runner in disgrace . 

And perhaps steady up on your criticism of the Labor Party .  They were elected federally , and also won the elections in 6 of the 7 states and territories .   You should accept that as meaning that the majority of Australians support their policies  .  By continuing to support only the  Coalition , you could be wagering everything on the wrong horse .

You must always remember who it is that you are pledged to serve .  By which I mean your advertisers , obviously .  Nobody  actually cares a fig about the great unwashed ,  but advertisers like to see healthy numbers in the ratings .   Remember what happened to young Tucker Carlson ?

Your comrade , Ken

Reference:- Shadow treasurer , young Angus Taylor got some facts wrong in a recent interview .

 Reference:-   Angus Taylor has the fact checkers rolling their eyes in disbelief . 

Dear Angus , 

                       It sure must be difficult coming to grips with a new portfolio .  Especially after being in government for so long .  A cushy decade in government with nothing much to do except run your family businesses has allowed you to lose touch a tad   .....ahem . 

Anyway Angus , I have paraphrased below a conversation we had here at the Sky Reply while watching your interview on the ( taxpayer funded ) ABC .  

"  Angus Taylor just said we have the highest inflation in the G7 . " ,  Ken junior said . 

" What is the G7 ? " , Monte said . 

" It's an alliance of 7 advanced economies in the Northern Hemisphere ",  Ken junior said . 

" But we are not in the Northern Hemisphere . "  ,  Monte said . 

" That is why we are not in the G7 . "  Ken junior said . 

" But Angus Taylor just said that we are in the G7. " , Monte said . 

" Yes he did . " , Ken junior said . 

" Maybe he only meant to say that we have higher inflation than all those G7 countries . ", Monte said .  

" We don't , several G7 countries have higher inflation than us . " , Ken junior said . 

"  Are you saying Angus Taylor has absolutely no idea what he is talking about ? " , Monte said . 

" Yes ",   Ken junior said .  

( Ken junior often annoys me with ambiguous replies like that , but what can you do ? )

 You can see the downside of not knowing your subject matter Angus .  It might be worth getting somebody over for dinner who knows all about being a treasurer , and jotting down a few notes . 

Paul Keating would be your man for that I reckon , and I am sure he would enjoy a philosophical conversation around the fireplace with another man of keen intellect like yourself . 

But don't forget to have notepad and biro in hand . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Today the Federal Budget will be released . A surplus is likely .

 Reference :-     According to the shadow treasurer , young Angus  Taylor ,  a drover's dog could have achieved a budget surplus .  

 

Dear Angus ,  

                        As you say , this budget surplus is pathetic  .  I liked your joke about a drover's dog being able to deliver a budget surplus . That is the kind of astute analysis that we never get from Mr Albanese and his clueless cabinet  . 

As you say , cost of living pressures for aussie battlers doing it tough should be the main focus of the budget .    But it looks like the treasurer , Mr Chalmers , will foolishly give those battlers more money , which will only worsen the inflation crisis .  

Mind you , the well heeled are doing rather well , what with the rise in interest rates and rents and all .  The banks are declaring record profits , and paying fat dividends .   Naturally , if aussie battlers didn't waste all their money and saved sensibly , they would be benefiting from those high interest rates too .  But what can you do ? 

Anyway Angus , we look forward to hearing your reply to the budget .  If you will excuse my presumption , you shouldn't  run the drover's dog joke anymore  . Good though it was , it's time has passed .  

If you are still  putting the finishing touches on what is sure to be an excellent speech , you might find the following useful . 

1.       Make sure you say that this is Labor's first budget surplus in 15 years . ( No need to mention that for ten of those years the Coalition was in power delivering deficit budgets . ) 

2.    Keep referring to inflation  . Regardless of the question , discuss "cost of living pressures " .

3.   Make generalized statements of fact ( any you like ) without offering any evidence to support them  . 

4.   Frequently remind people that " taxes are always higher under Labor " 

5.   Frequently remind people that  " Labor always spends too much of your money ." .

6.    State what the economy requires , without offering any strategies . ( e.g. we need to curb inflation) .

7.   Advise  people that a budget surplus is irrelevant or unnecessary right now . 

7.   Declare that the Coalition is the only political party that is fiscally responsible .

8.   Claim that  the coal and gas companies deserve the credit for delivering  the surplus . 

9.   Accuse Labor of taking credit for a surplus that the Coalition had worked towards for a decade . 

10.  Point out that Labor is using the tiny budget surplus to distract us from their economic failures  .

I reckon these are the key points Angus .  Additionally , Ken junior believes that these days the whole issue of divisiveness is foremost in people's minds .     He says you should bang on about the budget causing division within Australian society .    He could be on to something there .

You could say something along the lines of   " Labor's policies , that always take from some to give to others,  will only further stoke division in society " .   

I guess it's not what you might call a 50/50 division in society    More of a top 10% of well heeled winners vs 90% of losers .   But there is no need to delve into such detail .  Divisiveness is divisiveness , pure and simple . 

Good luck tonight Angus .   Don't forget to take about 60mg of Inderal before your speech , so you look calm and in control . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

P.S.    We are running a tote tonight , betting on how many times you will say that taxes are always higher under Labor  .  ( This might be untrue , but now is not the time to quibble over details . ) 

I stand to win a SIX pack if I guess correctly , but I would certainly not try to cheat , just for the sake of a SIX pack .... are you with me ?  

 

 

Reference :- When will the terrible war end ?

 Reference :-  The war continues , with no end in sight . 

      We were having our Weet-Bix this morning when the conversation turned to the ghastly war .   

 " As the war  becomes more desperate , the collateral damage is devastating ",  Ken junior said . 

"  Those poor Ukrainians . ",  I said . 

 " Not that war . I mean the war Fox is waging against Tucker Carlson . " , Ken junior said . 

 " How so ? " , I said . 

" Fox News ratings have fallen off a cliff .  Fox have leaked cherry picked video footage and spread rumors in an attempt to destroy Tucker Carlson's reputation , and all that has done is drive away their viewers . Meanwhile Tucker's fan base is growing faster than the interest charges on a credit card debt . " , Ken junior said . 

"  Well I guess he will never work again . " ,  I said . 

" They say he has been offered 100 million dollars by a rival media company ",  Ken junior said . 

"  Great merciful Odin , are we witnessing  the collapse of the Murdoch media empire ? " , I said . 

Gabbo suddenly made a strange remark . 

" I certainly hope so . " , Gabbo said . 

" What do the Sky News folk have to say about it ?' , I said . 

" Absolutely nothing " , Ken junior said . 

" Not even Andy Bolt ? " , I said 

" He's going on extended leave. " , Gabbo said . 

"  What about Rowan Dean ? You can always rely on him to get to the truth . ",  I said 

" He's in trouble again with the media regulator for spreading misinformation . " , Ken junior said . 

Anyway , we decided to check out last night's  Sky News on that YouTube thing , and indeed , it was sad to watch . 

It reminded me of the time a dingo broke into our chook pen and and was killing the chickens .   The terrified flapping and clucking wasn't the same , of course ,  there was far more of that going on at the Sky News  studios .  Chris Kenny looked like he had an implant in his cheeks so he could sneer more alarmingly . 

Fearing that they might suffer the same fate as Mr Carlson , the Sky News presenters described the possible first budget surplus in 15 years , as a disaster for the Labor Party .   And the plans to cut living expenses for average Australians as a terrible cost to the taxpayer .  It all had a weird " Emperor's new clothes " sycophancy about it .

All empires come to an end eventually , and the Murdoch empire's time might have come . 

Nevertheless , The Sky Reply will continue to offer it's loyal support .  

" I will stick with Sky News to the last . I will be their Charles Lightoller . " , I said 

" Who on earth is Charles Lightholler " , Ken junior said . 

" He was the 2nd officer of the Titanic who stayed on deck to the very last , loading the lifeboats . " I said 

" I like that analogy  . " , Gabbo said . 

" The staying on board part  ? ", I said . 

" No.  The sinking part . ", Gabbo said . 

I wonder what he meant by that ? 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference:- According to Sky Anchor , young Andy Bolt , the less publicity Harry and Meghan get , the better.

 Reference :-   Andy Bolt is sick of hearing about Harry and Meghan . 

Dear Andy , 

                       What is re this supposed "  Harry and Meghan "  team ?  Personally I have never heard of them before now . I hinted at this to Ken Junior over our Weet-Bix  this morning .

" Personally I have never heard of this supposed " Harry and Meghan " team before now . " , I said . 

" They are the royals that the media are obsessed with . " , Ken junior said . 

" Never heard of them . " , I said . 

" Never heard of them !  Next you will be saying you have never heard of The Kardashians ! ", Ken junior said . 

" The who ? ",  I said . 

 Ken junior mumbled something about "moron " into his Weet-Bix . 

" Well why would I want  to know them if they are all morons? " , I said . 

Anyway Andy , as you know I always put a lot of research into my posts , and I discovered that the last time your comrade , Rita Panahi , talked about this so called  "Harry and Meghan " team she scored over 700,000 views . That compares with  1200 views for covering the death of our most loved / hated / controversial / well known / innovative comedian . (  Your old friend Mr Barry Humphries ) 

I reckon the problem here is that news ( and I use that word in it's broadest sense ) that entices the viewers also brings in the advertising for privately owned media companies .  It's a simple business model , and what's wrong with that ? 

If people want to find out what is really happening in the world ( and few do it seems ) they can always go to the most reliable , factual , and insightful sources .   I refer , of course , to stand up comedy shows.  That is where the real news is .  

Relax Andy , and let Sky News do what it likes . You saw what happened to that young Tucker Carlson chap . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Tucker Carlson has given his valedictory speech .

 Reference:-   Andy Bolt has dusted Tucker Carlson , just as he dusted Chris Smith a few months back . 

Dear Andy , 

                          As you say , Tucker Carlson has lost the plot . His news reports were no longer relevant , and furthermore , you tell us that they were also often untrue . Already close to two thousand Sky News viewers have watched your presentation exposing him as the fraud he is .   Thank God he has been fired , and is unlikely to be missed by Fox News viewers . 

Mind you , Ken junior tells me that Mr Carlson's valedictory speech received 57 million views on the first day of it's release .   I told Ken junior he should view that fact in the right perspective .    Doubtless tens of millions of folk tuned in to laugh at Mr Carlson's  pathetic demise .    You could hardly call that " popularity ". 

I doubt that we will hear much from Mr Carlson again .  

You comrade, Ken .