Reference :- According to the shadow treasurer , young Angus Taylor , a drover's dog could have achieved a budget surplus .
Dear Angus ,
As you say , this budget surplus is pathetic . I liked your joke about a drover's dog being able to deliver a budget surplus . That is the kind of astute analysis that we never get from Mr Albanese and his clueless cabinet .
As you say , cost of living pressures for aussie battlers doing it tough should be the main focus of the budget . But it looks like the treasurer , Mr Chalmers , will foolishly give those battlers more money , which will only worsen the inflation crisis .
Mind you , the well heeled are doing rather well , what with the rise in interest rates and rents and all . The banks are declaring record profits , and paying fat dividends . Naturally , if aussie battlers didn't waste all their money and saved sensibly , they would be benefiting from those high interest rates too . But what can you do ?
Anyway Angus , we look forward to hearing your reply to the budget . If you will excuse my presumption , you shouldn't run the drover's dog joke anymore . Good though it was , it's time has passed .
If you are still putting the finishing touches on what is sure to be an excellent speech , you might find the following useful .
1. Make sure you say that this is Labor's first budget surplus in 15 years . ( No need to mention that for ten of those years the Coalition was in power delivering deficit budgets . )
2. Keep referring to inflation . Regardless of the question , discuss "cost of living pressures " .
3. Make generalized statements of fact ( any you like ) without offering any evidence to support them .
4. Frequently remind people that " taxes are always higher under Labor "
5. Frequently remind people that " Labor always spends too much of your money ." .
6. State what the economy requires , without offering any strategies . ( e.g. we need to curb inflation) .
7. Advise people that a budget surplus is irrelevant or unnecessary right now .
7. Declare that the Coalition is the only political party that is fiscally responsible .
8. Claim that the coal and gas companies deserve the credit for delivering the surplus .
9. Accuse Labor of taking credit for a surplus that the Coalition had worked towards for a decade .
10. Point out that Labor is using the tiny budget surplus to distract us from their economic failures .
I reckon these are the key points Angus . Additionally , Ken junior believes that these days the whole issue of divisiveness is foremost in people's minds . He says you should bang on about the budget causing division within Australian society . He could be on to something there .
You could say something along the lines of " Labor's policies , that always take from some to give to others, will only further stoke division in society " .
I guess it's not what you might call a 50/50 division in society More of a top 10% of well heeled winners vs 90% of losers . But there is no need to delve into such detail . Divisiveness is divisiveness , pure and simple .
Good luck tonight Angus . Don't forget to take about 60mg of Inderal before your speech , so you look calm and in control .
Your comrade , Ken .
P.S. We are running a tote tonight , betting on how many times you will say that taxes are always higher under Labor . ( This might be untrue , but now is not the time to quibble over details . )
I stand to win a SIX pack if I guess correctly , but I would certainly not try to cheat , just for the sake of a SIX pack .... are you with me ?
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