Reference :- Sky News presenter Chris Smith secured his place in history

Reference :- Sky anchor Chris Smith weighed the relative merits of his newly named " greenie elite "  fantasists , who would like the planet to be similar to the  Garden of Eden , and the wonderful practicality of the retiring  CEO of BP  , Bob Dudley , who praised the importance of the fossil fuel industry . 

Well done Chris .  Your worship of Bob  Dudley will undoubtedly secure you a place in history .
 It was very interesting to hear your predictions regarding the state of the planet in the year 2040 .  And how selfless of you to show concern , since you will by then , like me , be a corpse decomposing in a grave nobody visits . But hey , let's not be sad , your presentation today will ensure you a prominent place in the history books , under the heading   "  spectacular examples of betting the whole bloody farm on the wrong horse ".

 My son , Ken junior  the environmentalist ,  has asked me to thank you for eschewing the term  "climate vulture " and running with " greenie elites " instead .  He feels it has more dignity .  But he was quite startled by your worship of Mr Dudley's immense wealth .  I couldn't quite understand what he meant , but he laughed and said that talking about Mr Dudley's mega wealth was giving you a
semillon .   Don't ask me what that means , it's some kind of wine isn't it ? 

 And indeed yes , Mr Dudley is worth  a packet . It would have been even more , except a shareholder revolt in 2016 resulted in his pay being cut by 8 million quid that year .  Apparently almost two thirds of the shareholders thought he was being a tad too greedy .

You might not know this , but Mr Dudley was in charge of BP's  American operations when the Deepwater Horizon oil spill happened in 2010 .   That little oopsie daysie poured 184 million gallons of crude into the Gulf of Mexico .  We will never know the full cost of the disaster ,  and complete recovery from the damage , if it happens , will take decades .   The federal court ruled that the accident  was caused by gross negligence , and corner cutting to maximise profits .    About 25,000 square miles of marine habitat were polluted.  Countless fish and birds and sea mammals died . Thousands of fishermen and tourist operators lost their livelihoods .   Mr Dudley's pay that year was several million quid .

Since big money numbers give you a thrill , hows this for a whopper ?    The direct cost to just BP alone has amounted to over 60 billion quid .   Imagine that spent on something useful ?

Anyway Chris , Ken junior wants to leave you with a poem .  He says it's not one of his , and has no idea where he read it , but it stuck in his memory .   He reckons it has something humbling  to say about the worship of wealth and power , and where it gets us .   Don't expect too much though Chris , unlike Mr Dudley's obscene wealth ,  I don't think it will give you a semillon .  

                       A Poem Ken junior thinks he remembers from somewhere . ( Or maybe he made it up )

                                 The jackals howl, the serpents hiss,
                                 In what was once Persepolis .
                                 The fleets of Nineveh and Tyre,
                                 Are down with Davey Jones esquire .

                                 And all the oligarchs and kings ,
                                 And potentates who ruled these things ,
                                 Are dead.

                                  But cheer up, don't be sad ,
                                  Think what a lovely time they had . 
                         
                                                                                            Your comrade , Ken
          


                                              

                                                         

Reference :- It's nearly time for New Year's fireworks . As if we haven't seen enough fireworks already .

Reference:-     More than a quarter of a million people in Sydney have signed a petition calling for the New Year's fireworks display to be cancelled because there is already enough smoke to make breathing difficult .

 Well , you have to admit they have a point .  And the money would be better spent helping the firefighters , but it probably is too late to change plans now .   Everybody has stopped talking about the Christmas retail figures already , so I guess that means they were disappointing .  But there is hope yet , as thousands arrive in Sydney to spend up big and see the fireworks .

  Out here in our little town , "Kooralya "  , we never have fireworks .   One spark in the wrong place and the whole town would go up.     My son Ken junior's mate  , Gabbo ( the aborigine )   says that " Kooralya "  is an aboriginal word for bat .  There used to be a lot of fruit bats here years ago , before the heatwaves , so that makes sense .   These days I tell people the town is so named because you would have to be batty to live here .

 Anyway , while everybody is incinerating  millions of quid worth of foreign made fireworks , here in Kooralya we do something quite different . It might be of use to the folk in the big smoke ( no pun intended ) next year , in lieu of fireworks , assuming they don't burn the place to the ground with this year's effort.  

  It was actually Gabbo's idea , a few years back , and it was such a success we have run with it ever since .    Everybody hangs out down by the creek , now sadly dry , and after the big countdown to midnight , Trevor , who runs the local power substation , pulls the kill switch and all the lights go out .   We then look up at the sky , and as the rods and cones in our eyes make adjustments behind the cataracts , the milky way slowly reveals it's billions of stars , twinkling in the distant heavens .  All is silent as everybody , awed by the spectacle , contemplates  the vastness of the universe and our breathtaking insignificance .   Ken junior's mate , Monte , says he always feels insignificant anyway , even if he is indoors .  But you know what I mean .

  I reckon some of those tourists coughing away in the Sydney smoke would probably find the night sky in Kooralya a lot more impressive than fireworks .   Young Gabbo tells us stories about the stars and the constellations that have been handed down from the Dreamtime , and everybody finds them fascinating .   I suspect he makes a few up on the spur of the moment , but nobody cares , since he has quite a whimsical way of telling a story .  ( he shuns the word " narrative " which  he says is about as poetic as a leaking bore pump . ) 

 And here's something interesting .  Ken junior tells me that Betelgeuse , the red star in the constellation Orion,  has dimmed a little and astronomers say this could mean it is about explode .  That would be quite a spectacle since it is twelve times the size of our own sun .  And if we do get to see it explode one day , the explosion would have happened 650 years ago , since the light takes that long to get here .   Imagine that .  It sure puts my concern about the chipped laminex beside the kitchen sink into a different perspective .

 Happy New Year  ,    Your comrade ,  Ken

Reference :- Sky News has a stand in anchor , Chris Smith . Not an enthralling presenter , but he tries .

Reference :-   It's been a bit boring listening to Chris Smith , but he surprised us today with something worth following up.

Thanks Chris .  I must admit your news segments have been a bit staid for me , but others might find them fun , so no criticism intended .  Today , however , you showed me that song by a young fellow who writes for some  band  called " The Chats ".    What a beauty !    I have listened to it about seventeen times now.  I sure hope it goes viral on facebook or something.  

   Your own analysis of it's merits overlooked the verse about Mr Morrison's church in Sutherland receiving 100,000 quid of community grant money , but I loved the catchy chorus  line " that's why I hope Scott's house burns down " .

You have to admit it is hilarious , even though I personally don't want to see Scott's house burn down . ...........   Actually  , I would love to see his  house burn down  .... There, I have said it . But at least I am being honest .    Please forgive me Chris .  Which reminds me , you say you are disappointed that Mr Morrison's apology has not been accepted by the lefties .    I think the problem there is the way he presented his apology .   It was a sneaky gutless wobbly apology containing obfuscations ,  a bribe , and emotional manipulation of the creepiest nature .   That is why many of us wish his house would burn down , so we can dance and laugh and sing on the ashes .  (  Sorry Chris , sorry again mate . ) 

Anyway Chris , thanks for putting me onto that song .  I suspect there will be more such songs over the coming year , so be sure to let us know when they pop up.  

  Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- To quote Tiny Tim " A merry Christmas to us all , God bless us every one . "

Reference :-   It's been a dickens of a year , and another interesting one lies before us . My son , Ken junior has taken the time  ( about 28 seconds ) to write us a Christmas poem .

 Ken junior arose early ,  fed the orpingtons , and then penned a quick poem .   It made me chuckle , since the little bugger is tighter than Ebenezer Scrooge , though he obviously spares a thought for those who are drawn into overspending during the festive season .  We have had to stick to a strict budget this year , but it is surprising how much fun it is just playing scrabble with Ken junior's mates , Monte ( the motorcycle enthusiast )  and Gabbo ( the aborigine )  . Today I told the lads they can eat as many toasted  vegemite sandwiches as they like , and let them crack a tin of Twinings tea we have been saving for the occasion .    ( The still was incinerated by the bushfire .  It went up with more fireworks  than the local petrol station .  ) 

 I never win when we play scrabble , sadly . Ken junior is a walking dictionary , and Gabbo manages to cheat with obscure aboriginal words that nobody has heard of .  But we can't object or he calls us  " wankas "  which he says is aboriginal for  " linguistic racism  " .   He got the "W " on a triple letter score too , the lucky bugger .    Anyway , here is Ken junior's Poem .

                                          Christmas Advice          by Ken junior .

                          I hope you enjoy Saturnalia ,
                          Without much paraphernalia ,
                          There's no need to be chaste ,
                          But avoid excess waste ,
                          Lest your credit card totally fail ya. 

          Seasons greetings .      Your comrade , Ken
              

Reference :- Purveyor of facts , not opinion, Peta Credlin took a break .

Reference : -   It looks like Sky anchor Peta Credlin is enjoying a Christmas break .  We look forward to her return in the new year .

   Ah well Peta . What a shame that your last effort for the year was just an interview with another Sky reporter .  I guess with so much going on at present ,  it is probably difficult to find real people to interview .    Nonetheless , try not to make a habit of navel gazing in the new year . There was far too much of that last year , and watching Sky News started to feel like wandering through a mirror maze at a circus ....  endless reflections of the same opinions that became increasingly distorted and removed from reality .  

  Anyway , I don't wish to end the year on a low note , but there is one more comment I would like to make .  Please take it as friendly advice .  My son, Ken junior , drew my attention to this originally , but then it became quite a source of annoyance .

 You often mention , several times in a story , that " the taxpayer is funding "  something you don't like .   Sometimes you might say   " paid for with your tax money "   or  " that's where your taxes are going "   .  You know , that sort of thing .   I know it's an easy way to stir anger , and as we well know ,  angry folk are inclined to make hasty and  ill informed decisions.  But the technique is starting to look too obvious . These days both Ken junior and myself find ourselves losing attention when you say  " and this is what is happening to your tax money that .......blah blah blah ... " 

Maybe a good New Year's resolution would be to pack it in with that approach . It sure would freshen the sound of your presentations .   And while you are at it , maybe ditch those references to " socialists"  that you spit out with contempt .   Ken junior looked up a definition of socialism the other day , in the encyclopaedia .    He says it is a democratic system based on cooperation rather than competition  , with the mantra   "  from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs ".      He can't quite see why that is an evil concept .   It certainly sounds like a better basis for  developing a healthy culture  than galloping vampire capitalism .

 Anyway , we look forward to your fresh start in the new year .  We can always tune into Andrew Bolt if we feel the need to laugh at hate mongering cliches .  

 Seasons greetings .     Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- Liberal senator Jim Molan is unimpressed by climate activists .

Reference :-     Liberal senator  Jim Molan claims that climate activists are good at " shouting in your face  , but are devoid of sensible answers "  .

Merry Christmas Senator Molan .   You certainly had a good run there , landing your current job .  First Fiona Nash was declared ineligible because she discovered she has close ancestors in Old Blighty.  Then Arthur Sinodinos  jumped ship .  All very fortuitous , as was the strong support  from Mr Morrison   (  his earliest muscle flexing ) and Mr Howard  ( to assert his relevance ).  It certainly saved all that bother about democratic voting .  Then again  , who can say ?   The plebs may have voted for you  anyway .

 So here is a quick heads up regarding those " sensible answers " you have found lacking . The problem  might be your definition of the word " sensible " ,  since there are numerous answers offered by climate activists . They all involve change , which is often difficult  and costly .  Of course , that doesn't mean they aren't sensible .   Having a tumor removed from your rectum may be difficult , painful , and costly . But that doesn't mean it isn't sensible . Especially if you want to go on living a bit longer .

You have spent a lot of time in the middle east , in the cradle of civilization , and you would have seen how vast areas of the once fertile crescent have been transformed into barren desert by mankind's abuse of the environment .   Frescoes on ancient ruins in the Levant show people hunting gazelle in lush forests that have since become barren lands where   , to quote from Ozymandias ,  " the lone and level sands stretch far away " .

My son , Ken junior , is a keen activist , and has prepared an abbreviated list of actions that can diminish the effects of climate change for your consideration .   None of them are especially easy,  to which Ken junior says  " Yes , most of them aren't easy , but so what ? "  

 1   Transition from fossil fuels to  renewables as quickly as possible .

 2   Upgrade infrastructure to make it more energy efficient  .

 3.  Reduce commuting times , and reliance on cars for transport , with mass transit systems.

 4.  Consume less , and waste less .   (  Frivolous waste is a huge problem )

 5.  Eat locally produced food as much as possible , and reduce consumption of meat .

 6.  Produce as many vital goods and products as possible locally .

 7.  Make products that last,  and don't have built in obsolescence .

 8.  Stop advertising  from encouraging  people to replace items while they still function .

 9.   Stop clearing trees , and plant them by the billion . ( China just planted 66 billion of them  )

10.  Only have one child . ( Or none, if you aren't desperate to pass on your dodgy genes . )


 Ken junior thinks these  ten are enough for you to contemplate for now , what with it being Christmas and all .   If you want to know more , please feel free to ask.

           Seasons greetings .    Your comrade , Ken



                 
   

Reference :- Mr Scott Morrison , compassionate christian and capable captain of our country responded to a suggestion from Labor leader , Mr Albanese.

Reference :-    Mr Albanese suggested that bringing forward the next Council of Australian Governments meeting  ( The COAG scheduled for March )  to swiftly address the national disasters .  Mr Morrison is not in the least interested .

That's the way , Mr Morrison , don't let the socialists push you into what you describe as a " knee jerk response " .  Mind you , one could make the case that your obstinate resistance to making a single solitary decision about anything at present , is itself a " knee jerk" response .  Though perhaps the word " knee" is , in this instance ,  superfluous .   

You unconvincingly stated  that you might consider compensation for the unpaid volunteers who have put a superhuman effort into saving lives and property .  But in three months time .  That might appear , by some, to be excessively delayed .    What do the volunteers  do until then , Mr Morrison , sir ?  And since you doubtless have no intention of reaching into the public purse to help them , even then , why tease the poor folk by offering false hope ? 
  Have you looked at the news on the television sets lately ?  Even the nastiest of the right wing propaganda outlets can barely utter your name without shuddering in disgust .  Perhaps my previous suggestion that you pull the pin in January was off the mark, and you should depart sooner . 

 My son , Ken junior , has a nice little earner going supplying fake IDs to teenagers .  He says he can forge a passport for you , so you can bugger off to another country for a decade or two, and return when the dust has settled .    Apparently Yemen is nice at this time of year .  Their passports are easy to fake , and with the food shortages , it's a good place to shake off a bit of excess lard .     Normally he charges twenty quid , but in this instance he is prepared to offer you a freebie , as a service to the community .  

Your comrade , Ken