Reference :- Feisty Sky News anchor Chris Kenny escalated his war against the ABC .

Reference :-  Chris Kenny has hit the deck running after his recent return from the USA .  

Well Chris , you certainly don't appear to suffer from jet lag .  None of us here at the Sky Reply have had the opportunity to do any globe trotting , but we hear it can be quite exhausting .   Anyway , it's good to see that you are unaffected and still in top form .  And congratulations for concealing your disappointment with the election result . Disappointment made worse , no doubt , by your erroneous predictions .  A lesser man might be miffed , but not you . 

Of course , you would have guessed that Paul Barry and his mob at the ABC ... I mean the "Taxpayer Funded ABC " , as it is now called , would take the opportunity to try and belittle you for backing the wrong Presidential candidate .    Forewarned is forearmed , as they say , and you certainly delivered a full broadside to Paul Barry when you said his comments ran off you like " water off a duck's back " . 

That had us laughing , so Monte  ( being our  numbers man ) decided to run a test , since we still have a few Orpingtons and Indian Runner Ducks thriving in the back yard despite the drought .    Ken junior got the hose out from under the tank stand , while Monte rounded up the ducks .  Gabbo was in charge of the timing .  

Indian Runner Ducks are tall and upright , unlike the squat Orpingtons  , so we figured water would run off their backs  faster .  But there wasn't much in it .   Gabbo timed 3 seconds for the Indian Runners , and 4 seconds for the Orpingtons .   

Monte then timed your rant about the unfairness of your treatment by the ABC , I mean The Taxpayer Funded ABC .  He says you moaned on for over 8 minutes .  (  505 seconds in fact . ) 

I guess that is not exactly in the " duck's back "  league , but you can hardly be blamed for resorting to hyperbole following such unfair provocation .  And thankfully  you didn't have to pay for the air time you  needed to vent your spleen , since I hear that is up in the thousands of quid per minute . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

 

 

 

 

Reference :- Revelations of war crimes committed by Australian soldiers have shocked the nation .

Reference :-  Prime Minister , Mr Morrison , has offended  the Sky News anchors by criticizing the Australian Army .  What do you have to do to warrant criticism ?

The evidence is overwhelming .  

Some of our soldiers have committed atrocities . 

Some folk are outraged that ethical soldiers are being blamed for the actions of a few renegades .

But the innocent aren't being blamed . 

Some folk point at the shocking atrocities committed against us , calling these an excuse . 

But they aren't an excuse . 

 

In wars atrocities are committed .

We can't stop the other side from committing war crimes . 

We can only stop ourselves from committing them . 

If we don't ,  then what are we ?    .....................   ( Fill in  your own answer . )

The Sky Reply Team .

 

Reference:- The Sky News anchors are persisting with their opinion that the presidential election in the USA was rigged .

Reference :-   Sky News claims the USA election was fraudulent . It is the only story attracting viewers to their broadcasts at present . But it can't last .

Dear relentless pursuers of the truth at Sky News , 

With young Andy Bolt on leave (perhaps to explore the benefits of abstemious behavior ) the number of viewers tuning in to Sky News has plummeted .  The voter fraud story is all you have right now , and it won't last long .  Ken junior reckons it has nothing to do with Andy's absence , and everything to do with appalling journalism . The lad bristles with youthful vigour , and fails to understand that after a year of being wrong about almost everything , a mature journalist can become a tad weary and off their game  .  But keep your chins up , it is almost Christmas and there will be time to relax and prepare for a new year . 

 Don't let the fact that you were wrong about Mr Trump scoring a landslide victory shake your confidence .   Sadly , the revelation that you were also wrong about voter fraud is due to hit the news early in December . But once you have suffered that indignity you should have a clear run through to  Christmas . 

Numbers man here at The Sky Reply , Monte , tells me that some computer program called " Hammer " has been blamed for voter fraud .  Incorrectly , of course .  But  what a shame that Andy Bolt is on sabbatical .  Monte says that one of Andy's  favorite sayings  is  "  To a man with a hammer everything is a nail ".  Andy could have spun that into one of his witty editorial headlines .  

Anyway , stay chipper , the year is almost over .  Maybe Rowan Dean could reference the  "Hammer "  computer program in one of his weather reports .  When he plays music to fill in his time slot , he could use a clip of The Beatles  playing  " Maxwell's Silver Hammer " , while he makes one of his trademark hilarious observations . 

We are anticipating another hot summer  , so doubtless Rowan will be on the air quite a lot as he explains that we are actually entering another ice age .  

Your comrade, Ken .

 

Reference :- Playful Sky News anchor and witty weather boy Rowan Dean is speading his wings while Andy Bolt is taking a break .

Reference :-   With Andy Bolt gone , Rowan Dean seems more  relaxed and confident . 

Rowan , you appear to be relieved that young Andy Bolt has taken a sabbatical .  And nobody could blame you .  Andy had a penchant for roping you into his boozy high jinks  , and this was starting to besmirch your reputation .   Thank merciful Odin he left in time for you to restore your credibility .  And after watching your latest weather boy effort I see you are already well on your way with that . 

Those were great photos of snow , and there is nothing like snow to prove your thesis that the planet is not warming .  Mind you , I would leave out any references to " Electroverse " and that Cap Allon chap  ( if that is his real name ).   It's too easy for people to google the site , which looks about as convincing as a science fiction computer game from 1996. 

Likewise , asserting that Dr Carlton Brown is a climate expert is unwise . The chap has no qualifications in climate science , although he does have qualifications in business administration and a commercial background in investment banking .   Ken junior googled him too , and was unimpressed by Mr Brown's  belief that he was in an excellent position to assess the impact of climate change  because he " can read a thermometer " . 

I wonder if Mr Brown would consider somebody an investment banking expert because he could use a calculator ? 

Anyway Rowan , these are minor gripes , but why not consider simply making things up completely rather than quoting from a dubious but checkable source ?  Andy Bolt was guilty of that , as well as misquoting from reliable and verifiable sources , and look where that got him .   Bellicose Sky News reporter , Chris Kenny , does the same thing  and is equally unconvincing . But you would be unique if you simply made things up from scratch . And how could anybody google that ?  If you recall , you did it when you claimed a scientific expedition to chart the loss of sea ice in the Arctic  had come to grief when their ship became icebound . In reality it had not  become icebound at all . It had suffered a mechanical fault . But who would discover that ?

If you can't fathom how to convincingly make things up , let us know  , we are here to help . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Controversial Sky News anchor Andy Bolt is leaving !

Reference :-   Andy Bolt is leaving Sky News , for a couple of months he tells us . 

This is sudden news Andy . I hope it has nothing to do with the recent record number of "thumbs down " you attracted following your broadcast about neo- nazi symbols .    Ken junior reckons it might be a consequence of that recent occasion when you drank whisky on set in front of one of your bosses .  I reminded Ken junior that you did pour her a convivial glass . Although she didn't accept it very enthusiastically , despite your charmingly slurred description of it's impressive pedigree . 

 We will certainly miss you here at The Sky Reply , and look forward to your safe return . As you said , you  always speak as you find , regardless of ratings , advertisers , lawyers and pressure from Mr Murdoch and his power brokers .  Or , for that matter , the other Sky News opinion makers with whom you don't always agree.  Real journalists must freely speak their minds and if that sometimes loses money for advertisers and shareholders , that is the price of truth . 

Anyway Andy , The Sky Reply will clearly be short of material to work with during your sabbatical . Gabbo has suggested we tune into the ABC , but what is the point of that ?   The ABC is riddled with journalists who selfishly use it as a platform to speak their own minds .  And as you regularly remind us , this is an appalling waste of taxpayers money .  

Coincidentally ,  Sky Reply contributor Monte will be away for precisely two months as well .  Since I trust your discretion , I will reveal that he is spending two months in a nearby alcohol rehabilitation establishment .  Monte's girlfriend left him recently and he has taken to the bottle .  I remind him that she only left him because she found another boyfriend who is more handsome , rich , and better in bed . But there is no consoling him .  Sadly , we could not tolerate his arrivals at work half plastered on moonshine .  Here at the Sky Reply we take great pride in our professionalism , as you no doubt appreciate .

He has not been fired , and his job will still be here when he has dried out .  Make sure you do come back Andy , because it's only the anticipation of your return that keeps Monte going at present . 

Your comrade, Ken .

 

 

Reference :- Sky Anchor Andy Bolt copped a bad response from his followers .

Reference : -   Andy Bolt received three thumbs down for each thumbs up in his recent broadcast .  

Gosh Andy . When Ken junior told me about all those thumbs down , the first thing I thought was that your followers don't approve of blatant whisky swilling on set .   But that was foolish of me , your followers clearly don't mind a chap drinking on the job . 

Anyway , it turns out that you were quite upset by a cartoon featuring the "black sun " , which is apparently a neo-nazi symbol .   The culprit responsible is former Celebrity Chef  and conspiracy theorist , Pete Evans , and you certainly gave him a thorough , I mean robust , lambasting . We are not much into neo -nazism out here in Kooralya , so we might not have particularly noticed . But it seems that about two -thirds of your supporters were unhappy with you for expressing your disgust with young Pete.   

That should make you wonder about your cohort of followers , Andy .  They may keep your ratings up , but they don't seem to be the kind of folk you could happily invite over to dinner .  They also have a rather aggressive way of telling you that they don't like you anymore .  I guess you have seen that before when you stirred their anger against Greta Thunberg , for example . But it certainly isn't nice to be on the receiving end yourself . 

Wisdom suggests that you let this story die a natural death , and quickly move to greener pastures .  And perhaps you should wear dark glasses when venturing out to restaurants and other like venues , at least for now . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- Robots are in the press a lot lately .

Reference:-   The Federal Government , after  paying a small fortune for lawyers , is abandoning  their defense of the Robot-debt fiasco . 

I guess writing a cheque for 1.2 billion  quid to settle the matter is better than dealing with any bad publicity . Especially since most of that vast sum is only money that had been snatched from the hands of the disadvantaged in the first place .  Ken junior inquired  regarding the fate of the money that can't be  returned to the poor folk who committed suicide over the whole affair.   I told him the money will help pay for all the lawyers the government employed in their futile attempt to deny accusations of illegal activity . 

One can always rely on conservative governments to balance the books .....one way or another . 

Your comrade , Ken