Reference :- While in the top job , Mr Morrison secretly made himself the Minister of three portfolios .
Dear Mr Morrison , Sir ,
The media in this country are a disgrace . Despite all the crises afflicting the nation since you left office , they have chosen to focus on something trivial in your leadership style which has recently come to light . I refer , of course , to the fact that you appointed yourself minister of three portfolios . The media call these " secret appointments " , but just because you told nobody about them doesn't mean you were being secretive . The top job is demanding , and there is little time to be bothered with unnecessary rigmarole. Especially if you are taking on three additional jobs at the same time . It amazes me that you had the energy to cope with four jobs, I guess some of them could be done over the phone if you were on a beach in Hawaii (also supposedly secretly ... for heaven's sake . ) or whatever .
Anyway Mr Morrison , it might be a good idea to front foot it and explain the situation publicly . You say that you don't do daily politics anymore , and fair enough . When a chap loses half his salary you can't expect him to do his job anymore . Being the member for Cook is not a well paid job , and not worth your effort . Besides , you have a mortgage and school fees to worry about so why would you turn up at work every day ?
Nonetheless , a brief appearance on the tele to explain yourself is the right thing to do . It will look better on your resume when you jump ship and abandon the ungrateful Tories and those who elected you . Especially if you are thinking of a job in church circles. Honorable behaviour is a prerequisite for highly paid jobs in tax free cults .
Be sure to remind everybody that it was only 3 out of 19 minister roles that you awarded yourself . That casts the whole matter in a better light .
Your comrade , Ken
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