Reference :- This is Sky Reply number 499 .

Reference :-    Nobody in our team is much interested in writing Sky Reply 499. 

Everybody is holding out for the big night when we hit the magic 500th  Sky Reply . The office is deserted  , which feels weird . I swear I can hear Morricone music playing , and there are tumbleweeds blowing across the back yard . 

 Nonetheless , I can detect the unmistakable smell from the kitchen of cookies baking . 

Young Andrew Bolt is on the tele explaining , in no uncertain terms , how Royal Commissions are a waste of time , and have been for over one hundred years . 

According to Andy , elected politicians shouldn't ask unelected bureaucrats to help them make policy decisions .  

But I am not so sure that the folk we elect are always well qualified to administer their portfolios .  Although I can see how asking Craig Kelly MP to devise the protocols for running our recently ordered nuclear submarine fleet would make sense . He is a chap who can turn his hand to anything . It's no surprise that he wants to become Prime Minister .

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- The 500th Sky Reply will soon be posted .

Reference :-   How should we make the 500th Sky Reply special ? 

The 500th Sky Reply could , perhaps , highlight how Sky News has evolved from it's simple beginnings . In only a couple of years it has progressed a long way from it's humble origins as a poorly researched neo- conservative propaganda outlet .  It has now become a far right promulgator of dangerous misinformation , a ruthless fermenter of misplaced hatred , and a tireless enemy of ethical journalism .  

 Perhaps we should focus on some of the broadcasting taboos Sky News has broken ?  Like Paul Murray  feigning masturbation and using obscene language during prime time television appearances . Or Andrew Bolt gulping whisky during his interviews .  

 Ken junior suggested we could celebrate the occasion by eating some some of his special herb cookies before typing the 500th  column on our trusty Remington .

"  Do you think we should celebrate the 500th Sky Reply by laughing at  Sky News while we chow down on some of my herb cookies ? " ,  Ken junior said . 

" Yeah , I think so . " , I said . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- According to what we see on Sky News , the French are pretending to be annoyed with Australia .

 Reference:-   Sky News  believes that cancelling a contract for submarines worth 90 billion quid  shouldn't have upset the French .  

Our favorite media outlet has revealed that the " spiteful French " are looking for any pathetic excuse to denounce Australia  .  After all , why is a 90 billion quid contract so important ?  Apparently the rest of the European Union is also annoyed with us ,  even though it is clearly none of their business . 

Sky Reply contributing editor ,  Monte  , has done some research which has highlighted the foolishness of the French . 

Apparently back in 2016 , when we ordered the French subs , we were adamant that we didn't want nuclear versions . That meant that the French had to redesign their nuclear subs to produce a non- nuclear version called the Shortfin Barracuda class .   Monte reckons the plan may have been to power them with left over diesel engines from the now defunct Holden plant .  Suitably hotted up , of course .

 But time has passed , and we have now decided that we do want nuclear subs after all .  Since the war in Afghanistan has ended ( sort of ),  defense contractors in the USA have considerable spare manufacturing capacity  , so we might as well get them to supply us some nuclear subs . 

The beauty of this arrangement is that there are no cost estimates , and no specified delivery dates . This means that taxpayers won't be able to complain about cost blow outs or delays .

 The French are upset  because we broke our deal with them .  But everybody knows they can sell their diesel retrofitted Shortfin Barracuda  subs elsewhere .  For starters New Zealand would buy them . The Kiwis won't allow nuclear subs in their waters , so diesel powered ones are just what they need . Furthermore ,  Monte reckons Holden engines are highly regarded on the other side of the Tasman Sea . 

This whole fiasco would never have occurred if we had not done a deal with the French in the first place .

Sadly , I don't think the French are capable of accepting a setback , and moving on .    

But c'est la vie . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference :- Prime Minister ( for now ) Scott Morrison has forged a deal with the USA for the purchase of nuclear submarines .

Reference : -   Forging the deal for the purchase of nuclear submarines took a great deal of skill . 

Dear Mr Morrison , Sir , 

                                        All I can say is well done !  Few people have the experience to arrange such a deal .  And by experience , I mean marketing experience . 

 Anybody could promise to give the USA countless billions of quid for submarines of nebulous specification with a vague delivery date . 

Anybody could agree to tie our nation to the USA militarily for decades to come while simultaneously offending our most important trading partners.  

Anybody could turn a blind eye to the hundreds of millions of quid wasted on the F35 Strike Fighter deal and trust that nuclear submarines are easier to build and less likely to be plagued by faults . 

But it takes a skilled marketer to convince the Australian public that you have done the right thing . 

And since it will be decades before the results of your negotiations bear fruit  , you can bask in their glory for the rest of your career without being confronted with the inevitable cost blow outs , delays and technical snafus . 

Ken junior reckons there might be a lot of those . 

" Lockheed Martin sold us Strike Fighters with hundred of serious faults afflicting every aircraft . Imagine how many unintended flaws might compromise a nuclear sub , especially when the company building it has shareholders profits as a priority ? " , Ken junior said .

But that is not a concern for you now .  The next election is .  Besides , should problems present along the way , and you are still at the nation's helm , you can simply refuse to discuss the matter .  

For example :- 

 "  I won't be discussing defense contracts  in this interview,  since there a security implications . " 

Finally I admire the way you reassured everybody that the nuclear subs won't be carrying atomic weaponry .  Of course the American media are already saying that by the time the subs are up and running they will have nukes on board .   But what would they know ? 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

Reference :- Former Attorney General , Christian Porter , received a mysterious one million quid donation to help him out with his legal fees .

 Reference :-  According to his mates , Christian Porter doesn't have to reveal how he came to receive  a one million quid donation .

 This cool million is causing quite a stir in the tabloids . Legal experts are discussing whether or not Mr Porter is required to reveal the identity of his benefactor .  Are there tax implications ?  Was there GST involved ?   Are any favors expected ?  There are many unanswered questions . 

Personally , I think Mr Porter is entitled to some privacy . 

But the media need something to shut them up . 

I reckon he should simply call a media conference , and show everybody the brown paper bag the spondula  came in .  He could even let them take a few photos of the bag . 

 That should satisfy everybody . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- The harridan of Sky News , Peta Credlin , is appalled by the investment policies of superannuation funds .

Reference:-    Superannuation funds are ditching their shares in fossil fuel companies  . And also turning away from companies that are trashing the planet in other ways . 

Dear Peta , 

                     We discovered  on your excellent show that woke superannuation companies are virtue signalling at the expense of mum and dad investors . What do they hope to gain ?  As you say , the whole point of an investment fund is to make money . And as we all know ( except marxist greenies , of course )  , money is what makes the world go around . 

A woman such as yourself , with many decades of experience , should be able to convince those investment firms to rethink their decision .  Doubtless you are fully armed with the requisite arguments .

As somebody once said  " What is the point in having a pristine coral reef if we go broke protecting it so that nobody can afford to blast over the polyps on a 200 horsepower Jet Ski ? " .

Anyway Peta , here's something you may not have thought of . 

Let's imagine that the super funds keep investing in fossil fuels , and lets assume  furthermore that they make a lot of money .   If you are right , and the environment suffers no ill effects,  they will have done the right thing . 

On the other hand , in the unlikely event that all those marxist scientists are correct , global warming will cause  civilization to collapse over the next few decades , and those superannuation companies won't be required to pay out their beneficiaries .   It's a win win situation . 

Ken junior , always the contrarian , reckons that investing in green energy makes sense . He showed me a graph which does indicate that shares prices in green companies are growing strongly .  That may be the case at present Peta  , but the more astute among us are well aware that any growth in the green energy sector is not sustainable . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

 

Reference :- Sky host Andy bolt warned us about scaremongering .

Reference :  The imminent climate conference will fairly overflow with scaremongering , according to young Andy Bolt . 

Here at The Sky Reply we were munching on takeaway pizza  as we listened to young Andy Bolt warn us about the scaremongering that will characterize the upcoming Glasgow Climate Change Conference . 

" Looks like we had better brace ourselves for a bit of scaremongering . "   , I said . 

 " Define scaremongering . " , Ken junior said . 

 "  It's self explanatory . " , I said . 

  " Albert Einstein once said that he thought he knew what  " time " was , until he tried to define it  and discovered that he couldn't . "    Ken junior said . 

 " Then your mate Albert Einstein or what's his name is an idiot ." , I said  . 

 Ken junior then asked me to define " woke " " leftist " " marxist "  " socialist "  " communist"   " greenie " and " social justice warrior . " 

" That's easy , they are the same . " , I said . 

" So what are they then ? " , Ken junior said 

 " Idiot's , just like your mate Einstein . " ,  I explained  

Ken junior said nothing ,

 " Pass me a slice of the BBQ meat lovers . " ,  I said 

Ken junior passed me the smaller of the two remaining slices , and started eating the other slice himself .  

    " Would you call an officer on the deck of the Titanic who is informing passengers that the ship is sinking  a scaremonger ? " ,  Ken junior said . 

 Then he stood up and grabbed the last of the garlic bread  . 

" I am feeding this to Dog . " , Ken junior said .  And stormed out . 

 " Hey ! That's my garlic bread ! "  , I shouted

Honestly ,  I have know idea what the lad was going on about with all that stuff about the Titanic .  Maybe it has something to do with errant icebergs , which seem to feature regularly in the news these days ? 

 

Your comrade , Ken .