Reference :- The team at The Sky Reply is going fishing .

Reference :-    It's election weekend in Queensland  .  Time to go fishing . 

The ute is packed , and we are about to head off . No phone coverage , no internet .  Bliss.

 Gabbo is bringing his guitar , Ken junior  always catches fish , and Monte is the only one who can drive the old ute over the sand dunes without getting us bogged .  Obviously I make a contribution too, and it's an important one .  It's my job to find a place in the shade for the esky , so the ice doesn't melt too fast . 

While everybody is glued to the tube watching the election results , we will be sitting by the campfire , under the stars , smelling the fish cook while we have a beer and listen to Gabbo serenade us with  his Taylor 12 fret guitar .  The lads have made me promise not to sing along , but after a few beers , what the heck, I say .

 Have a great election folks .   

Your comrade , Ken 

 

Reference :- Sky News has said no more about the petition calling for a Royal Commission into the influence of the media.

 Reference :-    It took some research , but here are the latest numbers on government petitions generally . 

The numbers man here at The Sky Reply, Monte ,  has been up all hours uncovering the statistics .  We had almost lost interest in the media petition , but when yet another former Prime Minister ,  Mr Malcolm Turnbull , revealed he had pencilled his name on to the list  , it was time for a closer look . 

 We didn't get much joy from Sky News archives .  After swiftly dismissing the petition as fake news perpetrated by losers and cartoon characters , Sky News dropped the story like a brick crawling with spiders .   However , persistent research has produced these figures . 

 There are currently 80 petitions listed on the government website .  

 The petition calling for the media enquiry has twenty times as many signatures as the other 79 petitions combined .  

 I asked Monte if he thought that such massive support for the petition will guarantee that the government  takes action .

 " I don't think so "  said Monte "  The government can't risk upsetting  the media , they have too much influence ".

Your comrade  ,  Ken 

 

 

 

Reference:- Our Prime Minister is appalled and shocked . So he says .

 Reference :-   Australia Post CEO  Christine Holgate  bought a few Cartier watches for her staff . 

 Well Mr Morrison , sir , to use one of the least clever expressions invented in recent times , this Cartier watch scandal has  " bad optics " .   I have to hand it to you , for taking this opportunity to get everybody all wound up , and save face at the same time .   And as you say , Ms Holgate deserves a firm ticking off .  Those flash watches only cost a paltry 20,000 quid , which is peanuts compared with the 30 million over-payment to those LNP donors who flogged you some land for the Western Sydney Airport .   Or  the recent 100 million sports grants rort .  But what a timely gift this scandal is .

You have had little to say about the airport and sports rorts , and fair enough . The vicissitudes of sums so large are difficult to comprehend , but everybody can get cheesed off about the overpriced and tasteless watches that the privileged enjoy flaunting .  

And Mr Morrison , sir , did you see that Ms Holgate herself wears a Bulgari watch costing 48,000 quid ? I had never  heard of the " Bulgari " brand myself , and when Ken junior told me about it , I thought he called it a " Vulgari "  watch .  That is certainly a lot to spend on a fragile timepiece when many folk can't afford a decent meal . 

Anyway ,  you should continue expressing your alarm regarding this disgraceful  timepiece scandal and it will usefully distract folk from the many megamillion quid rorts and ripoffs that have floated to the surface of the political cesspool recently .   

  You can keep everybody wound up about this until something else springs to mind .  

Your comrade , Ken 

 

 

 

 

Reference :- Sky News revealed that the petition calling for a Royal Commission into the Media contains fake signatures .

Reference :-  The petition calling for an investigation into fake news is fake news , according to the alleged perpetrators of fake news . 

Dear opinion makers and fierce opponents of deception at Sky News , 

It looks like that jerk who signs petitions using the names of cartoon characters has struck again , which of course destroys the credibilty of the whole petition .   The lads here at the Sky Reply say it reminds them  of the time when you exposed that fraudulent petition calling for action on climate change . It was supposedly signed by 11,000 climate scientists.  What a joke that was .  Sky News took a good look at that supposed list , and found that somebody had signed  ..." Goofy " I think it was , or maybe Donald Duck .  

 By the time we heard about it , the list of signatures had been removed from the web .   Having done your job , and with other matters to address  ( At the time I think they were the massive bushfires and record heat waves ) the journalists at Sky News moved  on to greener pastures . Figuratively speaking of course , since much of the country was blackened by ash  . But here at the Sky Reply we followed the story to it's sad conclusion and it turned out that no less than 34 phony or joke signatures were discovered on that climate action petition .

It could easily be that the same jerks signed this latest petition too , possibly several times using various cartoon character names  as a nom de plume .  Modelling the percentage of fake signatures from the climate petition , since there are already a massive 320,000 signatures on the media petition , we could expect several hundred joke signatures this time .   It would take ages to go through them all looking for the phonies , but Sky Reply contributor Monte is willing to do this for you .    

Monte has a suggestion for your banner headline .   

"  Six hundred sham socialists sign senseless solicitation "    Pretty good , don't you think ?   It's this kind of clever alliteration that sets Sky News apart from the rest .  And don't worry if there aren't quite 600 joke signatures on the petition , Monte says he is quite willing to write in a few extra so the headline wording isn't ruined .   And maybe a few of the team at Sky News could do fake signatures as well , if we need the numbers . Are you with me ?

Anyway , we await your call.  This is a deeply concerning issue you have raised , and don't be diverted by those who say it is self serving of you to steer public opinion regarding a petition that asserts you have a penchant for steering public opinion .    It's a concept too difficult for most to comprehend .

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

Reference :- Sky News anchor Chris Kenny has lost interest in the California wildfires .

Reference:-   The wildfires in California have so far destroyed a record area of over 6,250 square miles .  And the season is far from over . 

Well Chris , it looks like your story claiming that the current California wildfires are normal was a tad premature .  They are already twice the size of the previous record , although that record was set way back in 2018. 

I can see why you would avoid the topic now , since it does appear at first glance that you were breathtakingly wrong .   But Chris , there is a spin you can use to save face on this occasion . 

 Why not say you were claiming that   "   record wildfires " are not unprecedented in California ?  You would be on firm ground with that claim , since 17 of the 20 worst wildfires on record have occurred in the last 20 years . 

 You could say something like this :-    "  What I meant was that record wildfires are hardly unprecedented in California , they have them all the time , and the last record wildfire was only a couple of years ago . "    That will silence your critics Chris , and you could use the same technique to make light of the record heatwaves . 

 And don't forget to include your trademark condescending sneer , for added emphasis . 

 Although it's not your style , you may like to pass this tip of Gabbo's along to your comrade at Sky News , Rowan Dean .  As you know Rowan regularly pads out a boring segment with music from his youth . The California fires are a great opportunity for him run a segment blaming arsonists , and finish by playing the Jose Feliciano song   " Light my fire ".   I am sure Rowan could do something creative with the lyrics , especially the clever rhyming of  " fire " with   "liar " .

Since you have been slipping in the ratings lately , you can tell Rowan it was your own idea , and Gabbo has promised to keep his  mouth shut .  He says it's always  a pleasure to help out . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference :- Charismatic leader of the National Party , Mr Michael McCormack explained high finance to us .

Reference :-   The Commonwealth  Government paid ten times the going rate for land at Western Sydney Airport. But it was a prudent investment , according to Mr McCormack , because one day the land might actually be worth what we paid for it . 

None of us thought of that Mr McCormack . It is a great relief to hear that one day in the distant future the land could be worth even more than the stupendous price we paid .   You might recall the figure , which is 30 million quid,  paid to Leppington Pastoral . The chaps at Leppington are probably suffering from " sellers remorse " now they realize what they have lost in future capital gain. 

Anyway Mr McCormack , while we are on the subject , I wonder if the Commonwealth Government might be interested in buying Ken junior's  1999 Hyundai Excel ?   It would be a great way to ferry Mr Morrison about when he wants to take another one of his holidays incognito .  It's Red Book value is 1000 quid , but in fifty  years it will be a classic .  In view of it's likely future value he is prepared to part with it now for ten grand .   I am not one for haggling with prices , but if you are happy with the figure of ten grand  I will throw in a free Roadworthy Certificate .   My mate Trevor does the certificates without seeing the vehicle , which saves a lot of bother , since you obviously prefer your deals to be swift and free of inconvenient scrutiny .   You won't get a better deal anywhere, and you will appreciate the savings which could go towards the ten million quid access tunnel you have promised the Leppington's .

 I look forward to hearing from you soon , since Ken junior wants the money to help reduce his nightmare HECS debt . 

One more thing Mr McCormack .   The Hyundai goes like the clappers , so Ken junior asked me to tell you that it has what he calls  " the U3-S4 brake assist system ".   Apparently that stands for   "usually 3 pumps on the pedal , sometimes 4 ".   

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Sky News anchor Alan Jones ( AKA Comrade Frankenjonesie ) explained the value of tertiary qualifications .

Reference :-  Apparently the Premiere of Victoria , Daniel Andrews ( known to Sky News as Comrade Andrews ) isn't adequately qualified for his job . 

Thanks for that Jonesie .  I didn't know that Mr Andrews only held one of those useless Arts degrees .    The unkind might point to the fact that you have one of those useless Arts degrees yourself , Jonesie , and  that young Andy Bolt dropped out of University without graduating , while Rowan Dean and Paul Murray didn't even bother with tertiary education .  Yet you chaps can win a debate on any topic . Epidemiology , Climatology , Economics , Sociology and Politics to name but a few .   

I could go on Jonesie , but I know you chaps are self -effacing types who shun the limelight . However the point about education is , as I tell the lads here at the Sky Reply , chaps like you are exceptional and don't need a formal education .   You have rat cunning , hard won in the school of life .   And that is what impresses the great unwashed .   As well you know , in any debate it is technique that matters , not substance . 

Ken junior suspects  that the Sky News anchors have all studied the writings of the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.  He reckons you all use the very debating techniques Mr Schopenhauer  described 150 years ago .  Especially the one where you repeatedly claim sole possession of " the facts " , and then invent whatever " fact " suits your purpose .   But Jonesie , I don't think you would waste your time reading an academic tome that analyses a subject  you already fully comprehend through sheer instinct and superior intellect .  You obviously didn't need to read anything when you mastered the science of climate change , for example . 

 Anyway , I think I have heaped enough praise for one day , we wouldn't want to give you a "big head" as they say .   After all , your humility is your greatest asset . 

Your comrade , Ken