Reference :- Sky anchor , Peta Credlin , informed us of a dreadful new tax .

 Reference :-   It seems that tradies are being victimized by a new tax on their work trucks . 

Dear Peta , 

                   I was interested to hear your views on this dreadful new tax .  It's clearly just another tactic to remove cash  from the hardworking folk who are building the country , and hand it to woke dole bludgers who wouldn't even know how to drive a 500 horsepower SUV . 

Personally , I still run my old Kingswood ute , so I had to ask somebody down at the Kooralya pub to fill me in about this outrage . 

My mate Trevor has a big twin cab work ute . It has to be a work ute , because he has a tax deductible sign on the door with his phone number on it .  Mind you , I have only seen it when he has been towing his Jet Skis  to the lake, or his camper van to the national park . 

Trevor reckons he's glad he bought it before the purchase tax hike .  But at least he is still able to tax deduct the tyres , petrol ,rego , insurance , signwriting , mag wheels, ten ton recovery winch , long range tanks , bull bar ,  huge spotlights , and servicing costs .   Although I guess that is not much comfort . 

I asked Trevor why he chose that particular model of work ute , and he said as soon as he saw the ad on the tele showing one leaping over sand dunes and roaring through a creek in a rainforest he knew that was what he needed to carry his toolbox to work . 

It annoys me to think that people who drive little 4 cylinder hatchbacks don't pay as much sales tax . Admittedly Trevor' s  leasing  cost is tax deductible , but that is not the point . 

If some idiots want to drive an economical car , that is their lifestyle choice and I don't see why they shouldn't cop a tax for that .  Why should the rest of the community support their lifestyle choice ?

Anyway Peta , thanks for the heads up.  It wasn't quite as thought provoking as that " Bill Shorten wants to ruin the aussie weekend " headline from awhile ago , but that is a hard one to beat . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- Interest rates are going up again .

References :-   Will a raise in interest rates do anything helpful ? 

 

 Here at the Sky Reply we try to cover important issues in the hope of shedding some light where it is needed .  But on this occasion we feel unable to comment .  Economics is an extremely complex field , and it requires well qualified people as administrators . .   The causes of inflation are many , and the interaction between the causes and the supposed remedies very difficult to predict .

  Inflation  has been influenced by the war in Ukraine , Covid , supply chain difficulties , tensions with China , sanctions , political manoeuvering , problems with the world fleet of container ships , greedy profiteering by monopoly companies , climate change , oil and gas prices , supply of microchips and raw materials , poorly regulated bank lending , de-industrialization , job losses caused by technical innovation .....and on and on . 

Fortunately all these factors in the economic equation can be balanced with fine adjustments to Reserve Bank interest rates , for which we must be very thankful .   

That is all we can say on the subject , so to fill the page , here is some  news from Kooralya . 

Young Monte has decided to restore his motorbike .  It certainly is well overdue for a freshen up , especially since the local cop made his recommendation . 

" That bike is an unroadworthy deathtrap . If I see it on the road again in that condition I will confiscate it and send it to be crushed straight after throwing you in the slammer .  "    the cop said . 

" Thank you for your kind recommendation , officer . " , Monte said . 

So the restoration is about to commence . There is not one part of the bike that doesn't need attention . 

Monte is broke , as usual , and has nothing in the way of tools . 

" You can borrow my shifting spanner . ",  I said . 

" That won't be enough. ",  Monte said . 

" Of course it will . It's adjustable . You can make it bigger or smaller so it will fit anything . ", I said . 

" What about the allen screws , and the phillips screws , and the slotted screws ,  and the spark plug socket, and the feeler gauges , and the ring compressor , and the voltmeter , and the tension wrench ? " ,  Monte said . 

" That's a lot to lend you at once . You can start with the shifting spanner and lets see how you go for a few days before we decide if you need anything else . " , I said . 

Monte grabbed the shifting spanner and slumped off. 

" And make sure you don't round off any bolt heads with it . " , I shouted . 

Your comrade , Ken .

Reference :- The Sky Reply has returned from holidays .

Reference :-  But what have we returned to ?  Sky News barely exists now, it seems. 

 Dear Sky News Team , 

 How is the new annum shaping up for you at the Murdoch studios ? 

  Is Chris Smith back with your outfit yet ? 

Surely after announcing that he has been off the grog  since the staff Christmas soiree  , all is forgiven .  I mean , how many " grovelling apologies " does a chap have to make before he gets his comfortably remunerated job back ?  Mind you , if he does return , it might be wise to give him an office as far away from young Andy Bolt's as possible ..... one whiff of whiskey fumes might trigger a relapse . 

 But gosh , it seems like the Sky News Team is a bit slow off the blocks this year .  Where are all your viewers ?  Admittedly , since the LNP  has been reduced to a handful of disheartened and jumpy crossbenchers , lead by a chap whose demeanor scares little children  , your opportunities for cutting edge non-partisan analyses of political events is greatly limited .  You can't always rely on the further irritating  adventures of Harry and Meghan for a story.  Nor will your insightful commentary on the  funeral of a formerly imprisoned Cardinal ,  hounded to an untimely death at the age of  81  ,  boost your ratings .  Furthermore , and  irritatingly , the new socialist government looks to be doing a fair enough job so far , making them hard to criticize .  

Maybe you could focus on the Robodebt Royal  Commission  ?  That sure has Ken junior glued to the tube each day .  It's all a bit too slow moving for me , but Ken junior reckons it is like watching the demise of Macbeth ... whoever he was .   I guess it's a good opportunity to assess the character of those who have had a go at running the country , by watching how they perform  in the witness box .   Even the former Prime Minister , Mr Morrison has enjoyed an appearance .  

I asked Ken junior how our former government ministers have handled themselves during the inquiry . 

" How have our former government ministers handled themselves during the inquiry? , I said . 

" They demonstrated nothing but blatant incompetence and smug obfuscation . " , Ken junior said . 

That shocked me . A callow youth like Ken junior should not be so cynical .   He clearly needed to view the proceedings again without being judgmental . 

" You need to view those proceeding again without being judgmental. " , I said 

" What for ? " , Ken junior said 

" You might  find that you change your mind . " , I said . 

Much to my surprise Ken junior did view them again , staying up all night .  Around 1am and 3am and 5am I got up to answer a call of nature ( although I didn't really have a pressing need ) and there was Ken junior in the lounge watching the replays , deep in thought . 

Over breakfast I couldn't wait to ask Ken junior if a second viewing had changed his opinion. 

" Has a second viewing changed your opinion ? " ,  I said . 

" It fairly has .  My opinion has been completely turned around . " , Ken junior said .  

" Completely turned around you say . I told you that would happen . So if you no longer think they revealed nothing but blatant incompetence and smug obfuscation , what do you think now ? , I said 

 " I think the opposite is true . It was the obfuscation that was blatant , and the incompetence that was smug . " , Ken junior said . 

 " Pass me the Weet -Bix  . " , I said . 

 Anyway , although Sky News would be a latecomer to the story , covering the Robodebt inquiry might be good practice for when the Independent Commission Against Corruption gets fired up.   You sure will need your pencils sharpened for that one .  

Don't forget that I thought of it first .

Your comrade , Ken .

 

 

                                 

Reference :- The Sky Reply is taking a one week break .

 Reference :-  Now seems like the right time for a brief holiday 

Dear millions of dedicated viewers ,

              The Sky Reply team has decided to take a week of leave . We do this each year so we have time to peruse the many letters from litigation lawyers that we find in our letterbox . Obviously we never reply to them .  As Ken junior says , if an angry drunk confronts you at the pub and says.

"What are you looking at mate ? "   , then clearly it is unwise to respond . 

Anyway , we look forward to returning a week or so from now , depending on what happens in the Ukraine with red buttons and the like . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

Reference :- Sky anchor Andy Bolt is appalled by a change to State Law in Victoria.

Reference :-    Apparently public intoxication is no longer illegal in Victoria . 

Dear Andy , 

                      Intoxication is a subject dear to your heart , and indeed it is a most retrograde step that has been  taken by the authorities in Victoria . As you say , one can only imagine the vile abuse and slander that people will suffer at the hands of the inebriated . 

Ken junior reckons he has seen you pie- eyed on whisky while airing your show ,  but that is not the same thing at all . You may occasionally be a tad under the weather , glass in hand  , but at least you wear a tie when you fire tirades of abuse at those who deserve no better . 

Public drunkenness is a privilege , not a right , and after the time you have spent before magistrates,  and the spondoolies you have paid to litigation attorneys , it is a privilege to which you are rightly entitled . 

How those socialists in Victoria can justify allowing the great unwashed the same privilege without having paid for it is beyond me . 

Before we know it they will be letting ordinary folk get away with drink driving ..... just like your comrade Peta Credlin .  But nobody will require them to be close friends of the Prime Minister to enjoy that privilege.

It makes you wonder why anybody makes the effort to join the elite these days . 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference :- Sky News has released it's format for this year. We can hadly wait for the show to start .

 Reference :-  The Sky News team is returning to start the new year with renewed vigour. 

Dear Sky News Team , 

  Ken Junior tells me you are all set to return for 2023 , and has referred me to an article on the interweb which shows your proposed format .  I see that you are now sans Chris Smith , who did the right thing after the staff's 2022 Noel whoop up , and took a fall for the team .  I asked Ken junior if Chris was out of the Looney Bin yet .  

" Is that Chris Smith chap out of the Looney Bin yet ? " , I said . 

" Jeez dad . You can't call it the Looney Bin . It's called a Mental Health Facility " , Ken junior said . 

As the Sky News team  so often reminds us , " wokeness " is getting out of hand these days . 

Anyway , the promo for your highly anticipated return says you will " dissect the daily news " for us . 

Gabbo reckons " butcher the daily news " would be a more fitting description , but in any case it is pretty obvious that simply  " conveying the daily news " no longer cuts the mustard with viewers in this modern world . 

My favorite part of your promo  was this :- 

" Tell all sides of the story , and not shy away from the broad spectrum of viewpoints on any number of issues . " 

As a news outlet, that is your strongest attribute . You are committed to presenting us with both the right and the wrong sides of a story . And furthermore , you then tell us which side is which , saving viewers the bother of working this out for themselves . 

As always , we look forward to seeing you back  . Perhaps Chris Smith will eventually return after his stint in the Looney Bin ......  sorry I will correct that .  Perhaps Chris Smith will return after his stint in what is now called a  " Looney Facility ".  

Your comrade, Ken .

Reference :- While we await the return of the Sky News team , there has been time to look more broadly at changes in western culture .

 Reference :-  Has anybody noticed the proliferation of confusing acronyms ?  Let me explain .

 With the Sky News team away on holidays , Ken junior reckoned it was time to get some overdue maintenance done .  Half the guttering fell off our tax deductible premises during the floods , and since we don't have town water out here in Kooralya  we rely on a rainwater tank , so the guttering is important . 

As an octogenerian , I consider it unwise to climb ladders myself .  I explained this to the lads . 

"As an octogenerian , I  consider it unwise to climb ladders myself . ",  I said . 

" As a teenager , I consider you are full of it . " , Ken junior said . 

Nonetheless he eventually went aloft with a hacksaw and started cutting off the rusty guttering , throwing the pieces down to Gabbo . 

" Will I chuck these in the back of the ute so we can take them straight to the tip ? " , Gabbo said . 

" Are you crazy ?  That guttering is still pretty good , it might come in handy some time .  Stack it the shed beside those old kerosene cans . " , I said . 

Monte was in the shed  cutting the new guttering to length with an angle grinder . 

Suddenly a spark flew onto the oily workbench , which burst into flames faster than the Graf Zeppelin . 

" Oh crap ! " , Monte shouted. 

 Thinking fast , Gabbo grabbed the fire extinguisher off the wall and doused the flames in a few seconds . 

 " That was quick thinking Gabbo , I am impressed . ",  I said . 

 " It was Monte yelling 'crap ' that alerted me . " , Gabbo said . 

" How's that ? ", I said . 

" You know , " C.R.A.P  " .... in case of fire ,  Clutch extinguisher , Remove pin , Aim , Press trigger . We learnt that at the compulsory workplace health and safety seminar . " , Gabbo said . 

"It seems like there's a bloody acronym for everything these days . They are so confusing , and how's a bloke supposed to remember them all? ", I said  

As I was leaving the shed I heard Monte yell out again . 

" Oh crap ! " , Monte shouted . 

" Christ,  are we on fire again !   ", I shouted 

" No . I cut this length of guttering too short. " , Monte said . 

" Just as well we saved some of the old stuff ",  I said . 

Sigh .    I hope the Sky News team returns before the lads burn the place down . 

Your comrade , Ken