Reference :- Light hearted Sky News anchor , Frankenjonesie , told us Joe Biden is too old to think clearly .

Reference:-   Frankenjonesie is so angry about the USA election result that he is seeing red . 

 Being an octogenerian  myself I thought it was wise to let my son Ken junior write this post , since my opinion might be biased . 

Dear Mr Jones  ,  

                      Dad asked me to write this , which in itself indicates a certain degree of age related cognitive decline . The old bastard is full of it lately and refuses to give me the keys to the ute ever since  I rolled my mate's Kingswood .  Anyway , dad looked up Mr Biden's age in his Funk and Wagnalls and in just a few days Mr Biden will be 78 years old .   I agree with you that a chap of such advanced years wouldn't have an opinion worth listening to .  How is a 78 year old going to stay in touch with current affairs ?   Dad still listens to his old LP records and reckons they stopped making proper music when the BBC canned The Val Doonican show 34 years ago .   I tell him he should be more open minded since everybody knows that proper music doesn't simply end like that . Proper music lasted until 2010 when Powderfinger split . 

 Anyway Mr Jones , without being critical I did notice that moment on your show when you pointed at a map of the USA and declared that it was all covered with red states which had voted for Mr Trump , with hardly a blue to be seen . Yet there were in fact more blue states than red .  It could be that you are starting to develop color blindness  , and I urge you to have one of those Ishihara Tests for Tritanopia  (which is blue colour blindness according to dad's Funk and Wagnalls ) . 

 Also Mr Jones , I see you will be having your landmark 80th birthday early next year .  Dad has two copies of his favourite LP  "  The World of Val Doonican " and  says we should send one to you for your birthday , so we need your mailing address . 

 Lastly , allow me to thank you for the way your nimble mind has always adapted to changing circumstances and has not become mired in outdated ideology like many of your contemporaries .  Over the years you have unashamedly made the intellectual journey from tory to conservative to free market capitalist to neoliberal warrior as circumstances changed .   You are a role model for the likes of Rowan Dean and Paul Murray  .

 Your comrade , Ken 

 

Reference:- The news is all about numbers of late.

 Reference :-   After days of watching the vote count in the USA it was time to count a few numbers here in the Antipodes well.

Dear Murdoch media advocates with investigations pending , 

That sure was sad , watching President Trump get flogged in the election .  But the sadness doesn't end there .  It seems that savage disputes about the legitimacy of the result are fermenting .  Obviously they are fermenting in the community at large to some extent , but the worst stoushes are flaring in the hallowed halls of the Murdoch media emporium itself .   A shocking tear has appeared in the fabric of the conservative media as some journalists support Mr Trump's outlandish claims of counterfeit ballots , while others believe he should pack his golf clubs and quietly bugger off. 

Here in the usually warm family of Sky News down under there are tense and sometimes drunken moments as the professional opinion makers we have come to love confront their individual bitter disappointments .   These are indeed tough times , made worse by the fact that the share markets world wide have suddenly decided they quite like sleepy Joe Biden , the insane socialist , and share prices everywhere are steadily climbing .  Apparently "stability " imbues confidence for some reason .

Anyway , my advice is that you don't  dwell on all that , and instead return to discrediting the petition that was tabled today in Parliament calling for a Royal Commission into your own duplicitous pettifoggery. There are over half a million signatures on that petition and so far you have only found a few fake ones saying Donald Duck ,  or was it Mickey Mouse ? That hardly discredits the whole petition so you need to launch an attack on a different front .   Young Andy Bolt and Rowan Dean have been quite impressive with their declarations of war on China and fake Aborigines , so you have a ready made team for this attack .

Andy could assert that the petition was signed by half a million Marxists intent on destroying democracy.  Viewers are well aware that young Andy has a penchant for hyperbole after a few tipples , but then Rowan could assert that there were probably only 250,000 Marxists who all signed twice , since that sort of fraud is never checked .   It would be a good opportunity for Rowan and Andy to enjoy some conviviality after that recent awkward presentation they shared , which had Rowan looking like he desperately wanted to flip open his communicator and whisper " Beam me up Scotty ! "  

Although The Sky Reply team is not in a financial position to help restore the morale of the whole Murdoch media empire  , we can  at least offer a few words of encouragement  to our own hard working Sky News Australia anchors while they deal with the humiliation of their crushing  defeat .   Feel free to call us any time . 

Your comrade , Ken

Reference :- The Sky Reply team stayed up late watching the election in the land of opportunity .

Reference :- Watching the presidential election was bad enough , but then we made the mistake of watching the response of the Sky News anchors .  Ken junior fed us a few of his special herb cookies to help us stay awake .

those herb cookies sure did the trick and before long we could see the funny side of the whole event gabbo noted that young andy bolt has dusted trump completely because the president was making a fool of himself claiming victory before the votes were counted and monte said that soon andy would be saying he never approved of trump in first place like when he said he had never denied there was climate change but ken junior said he could do another 180 degree switcheroo if trump did have a miracle win like the flip flop he did when he eventually went back to being a climate change denialist  and poor paul the bogan murray had so many trump flags on the wall of his man cave that you couldn't see his torana picture and he looked like a fat bearded version of eric olthwaite in that ripping yarn about the coal miner whose soccer team never won except michael palin who played eric is a leftie like all comedians because you have to be clever to be genuinely funny and you have to understand the human situation and then frankenjonesie kept ranting about fraudulent votes in the post despite having no evidence and gabbo said he thought frankenjonesie had post traumatic stress disorder over it all and that made us laugh but not as much as when we saw young andy bolt on the tele with an actual bottle of whiskey in front him as though he no longer cared to conceal his drinking and ken junior said the bottle was almost empty but did that mean he had drunk it all or was he afraid to produce a full bottle in case that looked worse and then we saw peta credlin's advertising for her new horror movie with scary music that is meant to destroy the career of victorian premiere daniel andrews who has got the covid cases in victoria down to zero while president trump's response has produced record breaking new cases of over 100,000 every day but frankenjonesie says that the pandemic doesn't exist and the more we looked at it the more the poster for peta credlin's horror movie looked like the poster for the bride of frankenjonesie or a remake of the witches of eastwick  and then an obnoxious child called jack houghton appeared where we expected to see sky anchor chris kenny and monte said jackie the kid  was sky news' new digital editor which sounds odd to me because I once had a digital examination at the doctors so what does that have to do with the news but the more I thought about how sky news treats us the more it made sense and jackie the kid  did his digital thing by showing clips of abc journalists who he said were intent on destroying the fabric of society with inflammatory language but the only inflammatory language we encountered was from sky news itself which seemed to be exploding like a suppurating boil and maybe they should shove a sock down their throats like frankenjonesie is fond of saying and what the heck is happening with rupert murdoch has he seen his australian version of fox news lately because they are trying to start a war with china and that won't help the share market which is humanity's ultimate reason d'etre  so when the last of us dies gasping for oxygen beneath the smoke filled sky the dow jones and the nikkei index can fly from the smouldering remains of planet earth to their destiny in the stars anyway that's it for now the pizzas have just arrived there are four of us here at the sky reply studio and we ordered seventeen large pizzas with garlic bread so I hope that's enough stay cool man your comrade ken

 

Reference :- Andy Bolt had something to say about illegal protests in Melbourne .

 Reference :-  Young Andy Bolt sure was angry with the police last night . 

You sure were angry and emotional last night Andy .  We flicked the tele on too late to catch the start of your show , and couldn't believe what we saw .   You were shouting and fuming about people having the right to break the law , and berating the police for being heavy handed with the protesters .  

Monte thought you were finally supporting the Black Lives Matter protests , or Extinction Rebellion , or the Bring Them Here movement which opposes indefinite detention of refugees .   But Gabbo spoke up immediately .  " Fat bloody chance ! " he explained .  

And indeed , it turns out that you still believe liberal groups are law breaking rabble who recklessly spread viral contagion  ( overrated though it is ).  But the law breakers who support your position regarding the needless lockdown  deserve our praise . 

It sure is a tricky business trying to determine which law breakers are brave crusaders , and which ones deserve prosecuting to the full extent of the law .  I don't know how you do it , Andy . 

You often say that the only valid way to implement change is at the polling booth .  

 Perhaps you should add a proviso along the lines of  "unless those in authority  are not willing to take advice from the Sky News anchors  " . 

 Anyway Andy , it was a great rant .  We can't wait to see your form when the USA election results come in . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Another Melbourne Cup ended with a predictable result .

Reference :-    The  Kooralya  Sweepstake for the Melbourne Cup was won by Ken junior . 

Each year we run a little sweepstake here in Kooralya , and we all have our annual punt on the neddies . 

This year we paid our two quid , and drew the horse names from a hat .  Ken junior drew the eventual winner .   A reporter from the local newspaper arrived to take a photo of Ken junior holding his winning ticket , and  noticed  that the ticket didn't have the name of the winning horse , Twilight Payment . 

"  Hey , that's not the right ticket !  " said the reporter .  " It should say Twilight Payment . " 

 "  It is the right ticket "  ,  replied Ken junior ,     " It says Anthony Van Dyck .  That's the name of the horse that was killed .  To win our sweepstake you have to draw the name of the horse they kill .  Those horses deserve to be remembered too .  " 

 Your  comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Sky News has sent reporters to the USA while COVID 19 cases are breaking new records .

Reference :-   Sky News Australia has sent reporters to the streets of the USA , sans face masks , sans social distancing and sans common sense . 

Dear overseas groundbreaking professional Sky News journalists , 

We applaud you for traveling to interview ordinary citizens on the streets of the USA , but the team here at The Sky Reply is worried that you might get all clapped up with coronavirus . Although it is fun watching you mock the supporters of Joe Biden for having an opinion ,  the uneasy feeling we get watching you interview folk while not wearing a mask is quite a distraction . 

 Have you seen the numbers ?   They make the yearly death rate for Americans during WW2 look trivial . 

 Maybe you should wear a mask and socially distance ,  just to be on the safe side . And if you want to continue  calling the pandemic fake news , like Alan Jones , you could make sure the camera doesn't reveal your faces during the interviews and do something clever with the editing . 

 Please don't get sick . If the Sky News team falls victim to contagion , where does that leave The Sky Reply ? 

Your comrade , Ken .

 

Reference:- Sky News anchor in Washington , Chris Kenny , expressed concern regarding leftist protesters .

 Reference:-  According to Chris Kenny , leftist agitators are the biggest threat to law and order in the USA.

 Hello there Chris . Have you spoken to the FBI and the CIA about these leftist agitators ?  They really need your input .  According to them , and all their research sources , 90% of all violent attacks and plots in the first half of this year were perpetrated by far right extremists .  How could they be so misled ? 

Since you are in the USA at the moment , you are perfectly placed to set the record straight . Perhaps you could do this in one of your cutting edge interviews ?   And the sooner the better , it's a sad state of affairs when the government of the USA  employs 56,000 personnel and spends 25 billion bucks each annum on home security and can't even work out who the bad guys are .  Why would they think that far right militias are a threat ?

 Recently your comrade at Sky News , Paul Murray , ticked off former ambassador Joe Hockey during an interview because Joe stated that the leftist organization , Antifa , does not exist .  Young Paul's demographic is pure bogan and you could see that Joe was uncomfortable in that environment . I guess young Paul could sense his distaste , and took the opportunity to sink in the boot . 

 But strangely  Chris , security agencies in the USA have stated "  Antifa is not a homogeneous entity , and has no leadership apparatus or radicalized membership ."  Perhaps you could interview young Paul on the same show and he could set the security agencies straight . 

Lastly , I see that Sky News has largely eschewed the term "  Marxist " these days .  That is probably wise , since nobody has a clue what a Marxist is , which makes rational debate impossible .  But it had a good run , and I look forward to the seeing what scary sounding moniker takes it's place .

Your comrade , Ken .