Reference:- Sky News has been rather dull of late .

Reference:-    The Sky Reply has decided to publish a guide to the ongoing Royal Commission into the Robotdebt Scheme .

The Sky News team are all off the air it seems .  No doubt they are enjoying the holiday season . Except , of course , for presenter Chris Smith ...... sorry , I mean disgraced presenter Chris Smith , who has booked himself into a mental health facility following his sadly misunderstood saucy antics at a Christmas party whoop up . 

Rather than let the keys on the Remington go rusty , here at the Sky Reply we have compiled a glossary of terms to help the layperson navigate the legal complexities of the Royal Commission into the Robotdebt Scheme . The Royal Commission is currently in recess , so now is the perfect time to familiarize oneself with some of the jargon , which can be confusing at times. 

The following translations will help clarify statements by witnesses .  The translations appear in parenthesis below each statement. 

1. " Before answering that question , I think it is important to provide some context . "       

   (   Before answering that question , I will first offer my excuse . )

2.   " That was a long time ago , and I am sorry , but I can't remember what was said . "

    ( My lawyer has told me not to answer that question . )

3.   " We made an exhaustive search , until just an hour ago , but the documents cannot be found. "  

      (  We put the documents through the shredder an hour ago . )

4. "  I am sorry , I don't know the answer to that , but will take the question on notice . " 

    (  I need to talk to my lawyer before answering that question . )

5.   " We were acting on the advice of another department . " 

    ( We were acting illegally . ) 

6.    "  We were keen to ensure that  taxpayers were not being cheated . " 

      (  We were keen to get the budget into surplus before the next election )

7.   "  We had to ensure that people received the social security payments for which they were entitled ."

      (  We had to ensure that the fewest number of people possible received social security payments.)

8.     "  We regret that errors in the scheme have contributed to suffering by the vulnerable "

     (  We regret that errors in the scheme made us vulnerable to suffering defeat in the election . )

Armed with this handy guide , you can now view the Royal Commission free from confusion . 

Season's greetings , 

Your comrade , Ken