References :- Sky News lost their battle to save the Prime Minister , despite the ferocity with which they fought their natural enemy , the ABC .
Dear Sky News team ,
Nobody could have fought harder than you to save Mr Morrison from electoral humiliation . But as with the devastating loss of your favorite president , Donald Trump , you must wipe away the tears ( especially Paul Murray ) and get back to fighting the crazy lefties . Our thoughts at this sad time are with Peta Credlin in particular . No doubt Peta's lacrimal glands became barren years ago , and her tear ducts are probably as schlerotic as Paul Murray's arteries , but we could tell from the wrinkle of her lips that she was suffering hugely . We are confident that she will find a way to vent her anger by vilifying some minority or other , but on this occasion she should take care to remain out of court . We don't want to lose her .
Anyway , on a more upbeat note , Andy Bolt has his booze for consolation , and Chris Kenny can return to berating the ABC ( I mean the taxpayer funded ABC ) for solace . Rowan Dean can run a few of his weather boy reports ( carefully ignoring the unprecedented heatwaves in India ) , since it is always snowing in some clime or other . Before we know it everything will be back to normal .
Lastly , we commend you for your astute analysis of the crushing electoral defeat . As you say , clearly the LNP has moved too far to the left , causing the faithful to desert them in droves . Gabbo tried to tell me that the deserters actually voted for candidates who were even more leftist than the LNP , but I set him straight .
" What are you talking about ? Idiot . " , I explained
The sooner you start pushing for Peter Dutton to lead the LNP the better . He has the charm and personality to warm the hearts of the great unwashed , despite remaining steadfastly conservative . Plus anybody who criticizes him risks being sued .
Your comrade , Ken
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