Reference :- Icon in global affairs and fledgling Prime Minister , Mr Scott Morrison faces more allegations of pork barrelling .

Reference  : -   It seems that another huge sum was fed to marginal electorates under the banner of environmental funding prior to the last election .

 Good morning again Mr Morrison , sir .   You must be annoyed by all these allegations of abusing the public purse . And to make it worse , it's another figure of 100 million quid that has gone astray.  My son ,  Ken junior ,says it might be wise to have the keypad on your laptop checked , since the "zero " key might be entering more than once each time you hit it .     

 Ken junior is pretty good with figures . He once said he wouldn't mind being an economist when he grows up , but his mate , Gabbo , (the aborigine ) told him not to be silly .   He says the numbers work is done by low paid clerks , and the role of an economist is to relentlessly promote policies  of neoliberal austerity and corporate socialism .   I guess that might explain why , forced to ad lib , our leaders in government often get the figures wrong on a logarithmic scale , as Mr Angus Taylor can attest .

 Anyway , enough of that .  Ken junior has crunched the numbers , and figures that the total of the rorts so far revealed (  lets hope there are no more )  rounds to 350 million quid .   Simple arithmetic  shows that each of the bought votes that got you elected cost about 300 quid .    That is quite a handy sum for the average citizen out here at Kooralya .

 So , Mr Morrison sir , Gabbo has come up with this great idea .   Since many of the electorates that received grant money hadn't even applied for a grant , he reckons we can bypass that laborious  application and assessment process .   Why not just buy our votes with 300 quid mailed to each voter in "Kooralya "  ahead of the next election ?    It will save a lot of mucking about , and mucking about always involves  additional costs , so think of the savings .

 One last thing . We would prefer cash rather than cheques , since our local bank closed years ago and we have nowhere to present a bank draft .

  I have no idea why the bank closed down , since it was experiencing a good run if you ask me .     

  Your comrade , Ken