Reference :- Rowan Dean has ruined our games of "Outsiders" cricket .

Reference :-  Rowan Dean has stopped prancing about the stage in front of his weather chart while  he rants about the climate change  hoax . Is he deliberately ruining our game of "Outsiders" cricket ?

Come on Rowan , you piker . Some time ago I let you know about our hilarious games of " Outsider " cricket , and since then you have been letting the lads down terribly . My son , Ken junior , and his best friend , young Monte , have to provide their own entertainment out here in the bush , and they used to eagerly anticipate their games of  " Outsider " cricket until you stuffed them up.  

 To recap , whoever was batting scored runs for the various puerile cliches you spat out .  " Shock horror " , for example was one run .  Hysterical gestures also scored runs , with the highest being a six if you said "Hummm " while stroking your obicularis oris with a finger tip.  Each time you pranced , fairy like, to the other side of the stage , the batsman was deemed bowled out , and the other side went in to bat .  The lads would usually be laughing so much that it was my job to keep the score .

   But Rowan , of late you have been staying on one side of the stage and the first batsman is never bowled out . Your puerile rants have been fine, but you have to move to the other side of the stage regularly . Last night Ken junior was first to bat , and he scored 23 million not out by the time you finally shut up.  Poor young Monte didn't even get a chance to pad up.   That's really not cricket , is it ? 

 
Anyway , if you could oblige by prancing about like a mongolian trotting duck the way  you used to ,  it might cheer up young Monte , who has stolen one of my tall bots of home brew and is currently hiding in the outhouse sulking .

Also Rowan ,  I am trying to work out a way to introduce scoring runs for each
" made up " fact you come out with .  If we call it just  one run for each ,  that still gives Monte a fair chance of catching up.  The hard part will be checking which are your "made up" facts quickly during the game .  There's no point in asking your cohort of followers to help us fact check , for obvious reasons .
 Let me know what you think .   

 Your comrade , Ken