Reference :- Former prime minister Tony Abbott is fit enough to have helped out with fighting the massive bushfires sweeping the nation . Better that Tony helps rather than our current prime minister , who looks like a massive coronary infarct brewing beneath an american baseball cap. We can't spare another ambulance . Viewers overseas have noted a certain irony , however .
Top effort Tony . We can always rely on you . But without putting a downer on your courageous efforts , I feel a duty to inform you about the disgusting behaviour of certain overseas climate alarmists . My dear sister lives in the outer burbs of London , in old blighty , and she tells me people have been laughing at you . They seem to find some kind of hilarious irony in the sight of a climate change denialist former PM fighting a nearby fire ,while much of the country endures the worst conflagrations they have ever seen . It saddens me to be the bearer of such sad tidings , but Tony , forewarned is forearmed , as they say , and you need time to construct a suitable response .
Make sure to include a plug for the fossil fuel industry while you are at it . But don't wave around a lump of anthracite like Mr Morrison . Rubbing it in the alarmist's faces like that merely lowers us to their level . If it suits your busy itinerary ,we could do with a bit of help up our way too. You are most welcome to stay at my place . I can throw Ken junior out of his room , and give him the sofa . The lazy sod locks himself in there all day , complaining about the smoke , and doing God knows what . I will wash the sheets , but they may acquire a smokey bouquet on the clothes line . I dare not use the drier since the recent escalation in the price of electrons . But I do keep it on the verandah under a hessian bag , ever hopeful that you will be returned to the top job , and power prices will tumble .
Your comrade , Ken
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