Reference :- Sky News is missing the best news stories .

Reference :-   Sky News has overlooked some of the biggest current news stories  . Why is that  ? 

Dear Sky News Team , 

                                        Most of us tired of hearing about the stupidity of the " woke ".   ( If we ignore them , they will probably go away .  ) But sadly , Sky News has become obsessed with a desire to comb the corners of the globe searching for examples of "wokeness " , however trivial .

In the meantime , there has been much startling and important  news from around the world which Sky News should subject to their astute analysis .  Here at The Sky Reply we have decided  to steer you in the direction of these events , since your preoccupation with the " woke " has distracted you from the actual real news . 

 Today's tip concerns the litigation that Donald Trump's election team is facing .  Dominion Voting Systems is suing the Trump team for lying about voter fraud .  The sum involved comfortably surpasses a billion quid .  That is a story you should follow . After all , Sky News repeatedly told us that there was widespread voter fraud which stole the election from Mr Trump . And you must have known the facts , since an establishment with your impeccable credentials would never perpetrate a lie . 

This is your chance to come forward and set the record straight .  A detailed expose by Andy Bolt and Rowan Dean is the way to go . Those chaps don't hold back .  

But whatever you do , don't just remain silent . It gives the impression that you are evading the issue to avoid being sued yourselves .  Furthermore it looks cowardly .  

 Ken junior has offered the following banner headline for your consideration . 

 "  Dominion Voting Systems run by liars and crooks . "  

It is pleasingly unambiguous , don't you think ? 

Your comrade , Ken    

P.S.     If you need a cheap lawyer , my cousin Arthur can help .  For a little baksheesh he will say anything in court . 

 

 

Reference :- Eloquent Sky host , Rita Panahi , sees a link between climate activism and identity politics .

Reference :-  Why do we have so many climate activists ?  

That is an interesting point you make Rita.  Perhaps , as you say , climate activism is simply another manifestation of the "wokeness " inflicted upon us by the politically correct .   As an older chap , I like to consult with my son , Ken junior , on such matters .  He has a much better understanding of recent cultural phenomena such as identity politics . 

 I asked Ken junior whether he thought that climate activists are motivated by a desire to be seen as " woke ".     ( Whatever that is . ) 

 He said that he thought climate activists are  mostly motivated by the news of record droughts , fires , heart waves , floods and snowstorms . He says we are getting two " once in a hundred year "  disastrous weather events each year lately . I told Ken junior such a frequency would be unremarkable if there were 200 different types of " disastrous weather events " . 

But we can't think of more than about six. Perhaps you could tell us what the other 194 are ?

Ken junior reckons you won't be able to , but you know what teenagers are like . 

Your comrade , Ken . 

Reference :- Veteran shock jock , Alan Jones , fiercely condemned the Prime Minister.

 Reference :-   Alan Jones expressed his disgust with Mr Morrison .  And this was because of ....   everything our Prime Minister has said and done for the past few weeks . 

Well Alan , I reckon Mr Morrison deserves all the opprobrium you dished out .  Thanks for pointing out the appalling lies and obfuscations he resorts to when cornered by the media.   Also his unveiled threats . 

The man has to go ( his own expression ) and the sooner the better with an election looming soon .  As you well know, without the support of you and the rest of the Murdoch media consortium  the poor chap's  goose is cooked .

Anyway Alan , with  the sudden reawakening of the sordid backgrounds of many LNP big shots , it will soon be time for you to start promoting your protege , Peta Credlin , for the top job .  

Meanwhile , you can relentlessly chip away at Mr Morrison's credibility .   And here is a tip .  You might not have noticed , but Dominion Voting Systems is suing Fox News and Donald Trump's  former lawyer for 1.6 billion quid because they lied about voter fraud and damaged their reputation .   Why not sue Mr Morrison for his recent lie about a News Corp staffer being molested in the rest rooms at her workplace ?     Admittedly Mr Morrison has apologized  for making the story up while under pressure from a journalist , but that doesn't mean News Corp hasn't suffered billions in damage to it's reputation .    Think of the female viewers who might have permanently turned away . 

 When you get on the blower to Mr Murdoch about it , please mention that our local rag , " The Kooralya Clarion " is struggling for funds at present .  A takeover bid would be well received . Provided of course , that the editor stays on and can still produce his monthly lift out pamphlet called " The Socialist Review ". 

We look forward to watching you destroy another Prime Minister's career  ,  Jonesie .  Although in this instance it shouldn't be too difficult , since Mr Morrison has a bad habit of suddenly exposing his real character when he becomes rattled .

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

 

Reference :- Honey voiced Sky host, Rita Panahi, alerted us regarding the politics of cake baking .

 Reference :-  We might have missed this crucial news during the current crises , were it not for Rita's diligent research  . 

Thanks for that Rita .  Without you we would have missed that vital story .  

So , it seems that some chap in the USA refused to bake a cake for a transgender person .  Clearly it is his right to refuse service to anybody he doesn't like , and he obviously doesn't like transgender folk.  But as you point out , some crazy leftists  have complained that this was unfair discrimination . 

Ken junior reckons that it shouldn't be such a big deal .  There must be other bakeries nearby , and the transgender person would doubtless  have no trouble finding  one that isn't owned by a fuckwit .  Likewise , the baker is entitled to lose as many customers as he likes if it panders to his phobia or repressed sexual proclivities . 

 But Rita , the trouble is , this kind of thing if not addressed can get quickly out of hand . Before you know it crazy leftists will be saying that refusing to serve somebody because they sport  a particular skin colour , or race , or religion , or ethnic background  is unacceptable .  This cake incident could well be the thin edge of the wedge Rita . 

Your parents didn't move from Iran expecting to see this kind of decline in our standards of freedom .  

If you would like to visit us here in Kooralya to discuss the matter , you are most welcome . We are great fans of cultural diversity , and Ken junior enjoys cooking international cuisine .   . We would offer to take you to the pub for one of their renowned steak dinners , but the pub cook refuses to serve folk of middle eastern ethnicity .    He actually said " wogs " , but though you are not a politically correct woke leftist yourself , I figured you might not enjoy his witty moniker . ( He is not very bright , so one has to make allowances . )

 Let us know if you decide to visit ,  and we will get a batch of pizza dough started . 

 Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Sky host Peta Credlin issued a warning .

Reference :-  Apparently Peta Credlin could name the staff who were running orgies at Parliament House . If she decided to. 

 

Indeed Peta , attack is often  ( though not always ) the best form of defense .  It was cunning of you to point the first bony finger of warning at those you could incriminate .  That should  keep their mouths shut, for who knows what deplorable turpitude they could reveal ? 

Anyway , despite looking very rattled lately , you did a good job of mocking that new statue of Greta Thunberg .  Teenage girls are always a useful subject for mockery when one is trying to appear composed .  Likewise you managed to deal neatly with the recent survey showing that by far the majority of folk are worried about climate change .   

 Ken junior wondered how you were going to spin that , and was quite impressed . You interpreted  the fact that poor people said they couldn't afford to spend much on climate change mitigation as meaning that ordinary folk are not concerned about it .   Well done . 

 Anyway Peta , in other news , the rain out here in Kooralya continues unabated .   The bridge across the creek is inundated so we are cut off from the outside world .  Supplies of fresh food are depleted  and we are living on baked beans and porridge .  Even poor old Dog .  

We can't afford to upgrade the bridge .  Ken junior says that if we can't afford to upgrade the bridge we obviously don't think it is important .  I can't argue with that , I suppose . 

 Your comrade , Ken .

 

 

Reference :- The undisputed matron of Sky News , Peta Credlin , is very quiet of late .

 Reference :-  Parliament House is starting to look like a poorly run bordello .  When will Peta Credlin speak up to defend the Prime Minister and his buddies ? 

 Indeed is is a difficult situation for you Peta , and you are wise to avoid  drawing attention to yourself . Parliament House has many a dark closet fairly brimming with hidden skeletons , some of which may point a bony finger in your direction . 

Of course your fans  , remembering the long passed days of  Mr Morrison's public relations victories , are asking    " Where the bloody hell are ya ? "  

 Nevertheless  that was a good idea , running a story about how one of the 3.6 million teachers in the USA has asked his students to avoid saying mum and dad since not all kids are raised by a mum and dad .  That is the the kind of ground breaking  news that we need to shift the limelight from the biggest sex scandal since the days of Caligula . 

 Anyway Peta , try to stay calm .   It is unlikely that any of the staff at Parliament House bear you ill will.  You were much  loved there , by all accounts , but if some malcontent tries to tarnish your reputation they will be met with the full force of your legal training . 

Furthermore  your comrade , Alan Jones , has your back .  He has already reminded the great unwashed that you tried your best to " drain the  Canberra swamp" while you were working there .   Meaning of course , that  anybody who comes forward with unfavorable disclosures about you can be swiftly dismissed as a grudge bearing former swamp monster .  

 I know it's often hard for you to tolerate Jonesie's  obsequious rants , but keep smiling , he is a vital ally . 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- We seem to be experiencing a lot of " once in a century " environmental catastrophes lately .

 Reference :-  Fortunately lovable Sky News weather boy  , Rowan Dean , has an explanation . 

 It sure is wet up out here in  Kooralya , Rowan .  Dog finds it hilarious to romp in the torrential downpour .   He stinks to high heaven , and has trampled mud through the entire house . The ute is bogged to the axles in the back yard .   Gumboots are required when a call of nature demands a trip to the outhouse . We can't cook anything that requires a pot , since all the pots are catching drips from the leaking roof .  Of course it has flooded this badly before , back around the time of the Boer War , I believe.   That means we have experienced a " once in a century "  drought , a " once in a century " bush fire , a "once in a century flood " and a "once in a century " pandemic  in about the time it took for young Gabbo to grow his culturally inauthentic  Rastafarian beard . 

 Gabbo decided to trawl through your recent weather broadcasts  ( which you often dress up as climate analyses ) to establish a coherent explanation for what might otherwise be seen as alarming flenches in the weather .   The poorly informed might be comforted by Gabbo's  list  of your main points , which lend a reassuring logic to our understanding of matters meteorological . 

So Rowan , herewith  are 10 of your main points , summarized . 

1.    There is no observable climate change  . All these extreme weather events have happened in the past . 

2.    Sun spot activity is causing all the observed climate change , not human activity . 

3.    The environment is not deteriorating , such claims are  baseless scaremongering . 

 4.    Environmentalists have caused the environment to deteriorate by making ridiculous  demands . 

 5.    Scientists world wide have no idea about global temperature change . 

 6.    Knee jerk reactions to weather events occur because nobody listens to the science . 

 7.   The planet is not warming , it is cooling . 

 8    The warming of the planet is beneficial because thawed permafrost will be suitable for agriculture .

 9.   Coal powered electricity generation is the only way to keep our power bills affordable . 

 10.  Coal powered electricity generation is unaffordable because of competition with cheap renewables .  

I am sure this will dispel any confusion in the minds of your viewers .  That's the trouble with being a genius , Rowan , it is easy to forget that others need matters explained more simply . 

  Your comrade , Ken