Reference :- Mr Trump wants to buy Gaza , and evict all the Palestinians allowing them no right of return .
Dear Mr Trump ,
When you say that you will buy Gaza do you mean that the American taxpayer will buy Gaza ? Or will you be buying it personally ? Or will it be private investors ? And who will be getting paid for all that real estate ? Will the Palestinians who own the destroyed houses and businesses be getting paid ? And how do you value a once valuable asset that has been reduced to rubble ? This deal clearly has a lot of complications attached .
As a real estate developer I am sure you have lots of experience with regard to the cost of clearing rubble and demolishing condemned buildings . In this instance there is an enormous amount of rubble to be cleared , but don't just assume that you can calculate the cost in the same way that you have done in the past . There will be costs associated with this real estate deal that you have not encountered before .
Ken junior has been doing his research , and although I daresay it is incomplete ( he spends too much time on the phone talking with his girlfriend ) it does throw light on several cost blow outs you might encounter .
Anyway Mr Trump , here is what Ken junior reckons your additional costs will include , for what it is worth .
1 . You will have to bribe other countries to take 2 million refugees , many of whom are physically and mentally unwell , including children with dead parents . And many of whom have become radicalised by the trauma they have suffered .
2. The clearing of rubble will involve the removal of huge amounts of unexploded ordinance . Workers will demand to be well paid for this , and insurance for workers and equipment like bulldozers will be very expensive or impossible . Special equipment will be needed , also costly .
3. There will be thousands of corpses uncovered , and folk might wish to identify their relatives and have them respectfully laid to rest . A man of your sensitivity would not be willing to simply bury them unidentified in mass graves Nazi style . Funerals cost a small fortune , believe me . We are still paying for uncle Stanley's cremation two years after he passed .
4. Those Hamas resistance fighters .....I mean terrorists .... still lurk in tunnels everywhere . They have recently recruited another 35,000 men who are prepared to die defending their land . The Israeli Defense Force ( the greatest and most moral army in the world ) has not succeeded in eliminating Hamas in more than 14 months of furious fighting . Eradicating Hamas will be expensive ...or impossible .
5. You can expect legal action against you by various agencies within the United Nations when you break various inconvenient international laws . You know , ethnic cleansing , that sort of thing. Defense lawyers don't come cheap , as I am sure you know .
6. There are 146 countries around the world that recognise the Palestinian state . Many of these countries have natural resources that are vital to the American economy . It is likely that many of them will put pressure on the USA through trade embargos and the like in support of the Palestinians .
7. What of the World Heritage historic sites in Gaza ? They will cost a packet to restore and preserve .... surely you would not bulldoze them to the ground ... would you ?
8. Transporting 2 million refugees will be a logistical nightmare . And what of the very sick and severely wounded who need ambulances and expensive medical care ? Remember that 300 million dollar pier that American engineers built in the middle of last year to allow ships into Gaza? It washed away in just a few days . Clearly a pier that won't wash away will cost a great deal more .
I reckon these are valid concerns , and will greatly impact your bottom line in this deal .
The whole situation reminds me of the time somebody gave me an old Holden ute for free because it had to be removed from his backyard when the house was sold . By the time I had paid for a tow truck and spent a fortune getting it to run I didn't even get my money back when I sold it .
So what to do ? Maybe this might work . Stop giving Israel money . Their economy is falling off a cliff and they will have to adhere to a ceasefire if they can't buy weaponry . Let UNRWA and the other aid organisations remain fully funded and allow the Palestinians to rebuild their country slowly by themselves . They are a remarkably resilient people , as 75 years of occupation and ethnic cleansing has revealed . But this time , don't restrict their access to the rest of the world . Let them have a harbour and an airport .
Nobody has tried this approach before , and it might just work .
Pardon me for bringing it up , but you have been bankrupt before , six times I believe . You don't need to go through that again at your age . And if it's the American taxpayer that you anticipate footing the bill , your government is already 35 trillion quid in debt , and can't even afford to fund schools . Now is not the time to borrow more .
Hope you find this advice useful . It may be presumptuous of my 17 year old son to offer advice to a man of your stature . But equally , a man of your stature would know that sound advice often comes from unexpected quarters .
Take care ,
Your comrade , Ken
PS . Don't let that young Elon Musk weirdo or your son -in -law Jared Kushner get involved in any Gaza real estate deals .... it will be a bad look . Also , Ken junior says letting British Petroleum exploit the gas reserves off the coast of Gaza would be a bad look too, especially since the former Prime Minister of the UK stands to line his pockets more than somewhat if that deal goes ahead . It's always wise to keep the citizenry on your side .
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