Reference :- The carnage in Gaza is so distressing , that we decided to look at the Australian news for a change .

 Reference :-  The Australian news also featured a body lying on the ground . 

Imagine our surprise when we flicked on the tele , and the first thing we saw was a body lying on a footpath in Canberra .    

"  Is he dead ? " ,  Ken junior said . 

" No , he's swearing into his mobile phone ." , Monte said . 

" Is he as drunk as a taxi full of sailors ? ",  Gabbo said . 

" Yeah , I think so . " , Ken junior said . 

" You lads mind your manners , that's  Barnaby Joyce , the former head of the National Party . He used to be Deputy Prime Minister . ", I said . 

It is shameful that the Australian media has sunken so low that it is deemed acceptable to make a mockery of a world leader because he has fallen over .  I have sent the following letter to Mr Joyce , to show our support . 

Dear Barnaby , 

                              I am sure will not mind being addressed as Barnaby , since you have always taken pains to avoid needless formality in your life . Not for you the archaic formality of marrying women before knocking them up , for example .   Watching you swill a beer , and flick your cigarette butt over somebody's fence , one instantly realises that you are just the same as any other bloke on the street .... no pun intended .  

Anyway Barnaby , despite the fact that an image of you prostrate upon the concrete while spluttering profanities has already become your photo ID on that Wikipedia site , you have no cause to be concerned . This is merely another besmirching attempt by the gutter press.  Don't let it get to you , and banish from your mind any images of the whole world laughing at you and calling you a total disgrace . And whatever you do don't hit the booze or your whole career could go down the drain . 

On the positive side , it is in fact a good thing that you were spewing forth profanities that would make Rodney Rude blush .  These have been censored by the woke lefties , so it is impossible for anybody to hear you speak .   And although I doubt that you had been drinking that night , it would not matter if you were as drunk as Sir Les Patterson in a Clive James interview , since nobody can hear you.   You could have been thick tongued slurring like a stroke victim on heroin , and who would know ? 

I am sure this has cheered you up Barnaby .  Just stay focused on your role as Shadow Minister for Veteran's Affairs .  You may not know a great deal about Veterans , but I reckon affairs are right up your alley . 

Are you with me ?  

Stay chipper . 

Your comrade , Ken .

PS .  I am sure this isn't the first time you have been plastered ......all over the headlines that is .