Reference :- The New Year is off to a flying start here in Kooralya .
Dear Reader ,
As the premier news outlet in Kooralya , we recently received feedback from the local community reminding us that we have not featured a local news item for many months . This is indeed true, so the lads were sent ,with pad and pencil in hand , to flush out all the local news .
When they returned , we sat around our conference table in the kitchen , ordered a tax deductible pizza , and discussed what they had found . Obviously the activities in Kooralya are not a rich source of material for cutting edge investigative journalism , but nonetheless we did our best .
We let Gabbo report first . He had interviewed the local publican ( we turn to him for opinions regarding the economy ) who said that pub turnover had fallen due to inflation and high interest rates . Nonetheless , he was optimistic that business might improve this year . He said that interest rates looked likely to fall now that the latest transfer of wealth from the poor to the rich has run it's course . He felt that the next wealth transfer would not effect him very much , since it would be achieved by pushing up property prices as interest rates fell , and he had no plans to buy any property .
Monte interviewed the Minister at the local church who had been collecting donations to send to Gaza for humanitarian aid . Apparently he has stopped collecting donations since it turns out that 12 .. or 9 .... or several at least ... aid workers in Gaza were Hamas fighters , or supporters ....or knew somebody who was a supporter, according to some " interrogated " prisoners held by the Israeli Army . ( It is all a bit vague at present . ) This shocking news came to light the day after the International Court of Justice asked the Israeli Government to increase humanitarian aid , so the timing was perfect , otherwise more aid would be going to Hamas. Israeli officials have also accused Hamas of stealing ALL the aid intended for the civilian population .
" But how can 30,000 Hamas fighters consume the food intended for 2 million civilians ? They must all be fat bastards . " , Monte said .
" And if 12 aid workers were baddies , and the other 13,000 aid workers lose their jobs as a result , that doesn't seem fair . " Gabbo said .
" Well if one in a thousand Australian politicians were found to be corrupt , I reckon the entire government would be brought down " , I said .
" Do ya ? " , Monte said .
Ken junior had interviewed the Headmaster at the Kooralya High School . A big fight had broken out near the tuck shop on the day that school returned from holidays . The school bully was tormenting the weakest kid at the school , as he had been doing for years , and had pushed him to the end of the queue . The weak kid finally cracked , and started clawing at the bully , ripping the top button off the bully's shirt . " You ripped my shirt ! " the bully shouted . All the kids gathered around . "Fight fight fight !!! ", they chanted .
The bully beat the weak kid mercilessly , smashed his glasses , tore his shirt to pieces , knocked out his front tooth and when he was lying on the ground with a bleeding nose, kicked him repeatedly in the ribs . Most of the kids yelled " Kick him , kick him , kick him !! " , but after the weak kid started crying for his mum one or two of the onlookers felt sorry for him and went to find the headmaster .
The headmaster is not sure what to do . Apparently last year the weak kid was seen letting down the tyres on the bully's bike after the bully had grabbed his lunch and ate it in front of him . The headmaster said that the boys share the blame equally , and clearly it would be better if the weak kid found another school to attend and went there daily by bus .
Well , that's about it for the local news . It may not be very interesting , but at least the last item has provided a break from the moral dilemmas we face when viewing the news of the world .
Your comrade , Ken
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