Reference :- According to Alan Jones , the Gold Coast is one of Australia's great places . So the lads at the Sky Reply decided to visit for a weekend .
Ken junior , Monte , and Gabbo listened to Jonesie praise the Gold Coast , so they could hardly wait for the opportunity to spend a weekend there . The lads have never strayed far from Kooralya , but they are quick to adapt to new circumstances , so I was sure they would be alright by themselves , despite their inexperience .
Of course , they had a wonderful weekend , and I can see why the Gold Coast ranks so high on
Jonesie's list of must visit destinations . When the lads returned , we threw a few snags on the barby , cracked some beers , and sat on the verandah while they told me of their adventures .
Ken junior said that the roads down there are amazing . Huge freeways instead of gravel tracks . They have these things called tolls , but Ken junior said they didn't have to worry about them because there is so much grime over the number plates of the Kingswood ute that nobody could trace it anyway . Monte thought they might be able to crank the old ute along at a fair rate of knots on those smooth roads , but the traffic was so bad they hardly got out of first gear for three hours . Luckily they had plenty of beer in the esky , so they could sip a couple of roadies and admire the view . The view consisted mostly of amazing concrete barricades which succeed in totally obscuring any view of the ocean . Gabbo reckoned the idea must be to ensure that it is a really a great surprise when you finally get to see the briny deep through the locked window of your hotel room .
The hotel was well priced too . It seems that during something called " schoolies week " a student had dived from the roof and missed the swimming pool . I don't know what happened to him , but the reputation of the hotel was diminished somewhat , and they were running a special offer to fill the rooms . Ken junior said he was glad they bought their own beer , because a stubby from the bar fridge and a packet of chips cost more than a night out at the Kooralya pub .
The lads aren't really beach types . There was a shark warning , and the sand was full of strange items , broken glass , and scary smelly things that had floated up from the depths of the ocean .
The UV rating was off the scale , so they decided to swim in that pool that the student had missed with his unfortunate dive . But the water was so full of chlorine it made your eyes redder than they get if you eat too many of Ken juniors special herb cookies .
Their big night out was at the Casino . There were lots of folk crowding the poker machines , but Monte reckons nobody was a problem gambler , because the toilets were full of notices advising what number to call if you thought you were at risk of becoming a gambling addict . The lads had no idea how to work a poker machine , but they liked hanging around the" pokies " as they are called , because pretty waitresses gave them lots of free drinks to encourage them to join in the fun .
Ken junior asked one of the waitresses what she did besides serve drinks , and she whispered " Hooker " in his ear . Well Ken junior was surprised that a real estate agency would pay somebody so badly that they needed two jobs . He reckons he is sending a letter to L J Hooker about it .
It must have been the annual policeman's ball or something , because there were a lot of armed police on the streets as they walked back to the hotel , and then as they turned up a side street a gentleman with lots of tattoos asked them if they wanted to buy some ice . Monte said they were going to take ice from the bar fridge to cool the esky on the way home , so no thanks . But it was a nice offer .
On the way home they were pulled over by a policeman , who fined them for having dirty number plates . That might have soured the whole weekend , but the policeman only fined him 100 quid , and took the money in cash on the spot , which saved the lads from having to post a cheque somewhere .
I guess he was only doing his job .
The lads had a good time , but they reckon taking the dog for a swim in the creek and a beer at the Kooralya pub suits them better . Though Ken junior wishes that L J Hooker ran a real estate office here if all their staff are that good looking .
Your comrade , Ken
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