Reference :- Redoubtable Prime Minister and concise orator Mr Scott Morrison spoke to the nation last night .

Reference:-   Last night  Mr Morrison  delivered an update on government policy which was meant to put us all in the picture regarding the pandemic .

The Sky Reply team sat by the tele last night , keen to discover how the crisis was being handled .    Mr Morrison's appearance was initially billed as an address to the nation .  However it was soon pointed out that it was not to be an actual address . This tempering of our expectations was laboured to the point that Monte fell asleep before Mr Morrison had even appeared .

In these troubled times , it is clearly important that people are not further stressed by ambiguity .   Since it was not an " address" to the nation , we will refer to it as last night's "pitch ".

 Mr Morrison did become annoyingly verbose during his pitch to the nation , something he rarely does , so the Sky Reply has summarised the key points for those whose time is precious .

 1.    It is the role of the federal government to lead during national disasters , and accordingly we point out that it is up to the individual states and schools to decide what to do about the spread of contagion .

2.    Only 5 people can attend a wedding , since crowds of more than five present too great a risk .

3.  Only 10 people can attend a funeral , since crowds of more than  ten present too great a risk .

4.  A  long list of non essential jobs has been prepared , and these people should not be working .

5.   All jobs are essential and everybody needs to be working  for the sake of the economy .

6.   The government has practiced austerity for years because spending restraint is the only way to protect the economy .

7.    The government will spend hundreds of billions of quid on a stimulus package because massive spending is the only way to protect the economy .

 Now that is all cleared up , we can relax , knowing the country is in capable hands .

    Your comrade , Ken