Reference :- The world's most admired Prime Minister , our very own Mr Scott Morrison , is taking control of the tourism crisis.

Reference :-   At last Mr Morrison's peerless expertise in marketing has come in handy for something besides pulling a fast one on nervous voters .

This is more like it Mr Morrison .   This is your big chance to regain credibility by getting something done with an enterprise you understand .  Yes , tourism , that wonderful industry devoted to building the expectations of the gullible and then mercilessly fleecing them .

But first there is the annoying sports grants scandal to deal with .  Don't worry ,  Attorney General Mr Christian Porter will have that under control.  Sports fans in his own electorate raked in more spondula than a crooked casino , which doubled his margin in the last election .  He is hardly going to implicate himself is he ?    A sensible outcome , quickly achieved , is to have him send Ms McKenzie packing , mumble a few excuses and move on .   These days blatant peculation is quickly forgotten .

The independent communist press has gone to great pains to uncover figures revealing that the most expensive clubs ,where elite members enjoy ocean views and fine cuisine , scooped up bigger grants than those struggling clubs with fibro walls , no air con , and a squeeky ceiling fan .    You can run the excuse that obviously it costs more to polish chandeliers made from bohemian crystal at a top class venue , than it does to put an " OUT OF ORDER  " sign on the door of the  WC  in a venue frequented by the great unwashed .

I reckon just say something like that , and move on to talking about the 70 million going towards tourism .   But beware .   After Mr Turnbull shovelled 500 million of  "save the reef " cash to some dodgy privateers , sans tender , and sans checking their bonafides , you had better be sure that those 70 million end up in the sweaty palms of plausible advertising experts ( assuming such experts even exist ).

 The last thing you need at this time is more awkward questions being asked .    Luckily for him , you managed to betray and usurp Mr Turnbull before he had to answer too many questions about that shady "save the reef "  deal.  Those 500 million quid have never been heard of since . Maybe some of it is paying for that plastic reef they a building at the Gold Coast to suck in the tourists when the real reef finally curls up it's pinkies?

  And Mr Morrison , sir .  I hope you don't mind receiving advice from The Sky Reply .   We do it as a public service , financed by small local donations , so as you can see ,we are in no way political .

 Your comrade , Ken