Reference :- Our leader has decided to shelter beneath the gently waving palms of Hawaii , where the fresh sea breezes fluff your fringe while you sip your cocktails .
And why not , Mr Morrison , sir ? Why not ? I have seen the photos of the smoke and dust in Sydney , and a man of your circumference is well advised to keep his pulmonary system well away from such horrors . The leftie press , though not the politicians , have expressed disappointment that you just buggered off without telling anybody . Personally I think that is a bit unkind of them . After all that posturing and running about the place trying to look like you were doing something you deserve a break.
My son , Ken junior , says he is pleased you are taking break. When told you had vanished like a thief in the night, he simply remarked . " He can stay in Hawaii as long as he likes as far as I am concerned " .
Ken junior saw that movie directed by Clint Eastwood , " Sully " , I think it is called . He was quite impressed by the way the captain of the crashed airliner stayed on board to the last , helping everybody as best he could . You have to admit , that sort of behavior does inspire respect . Did those public relations spivs you hired include a lesson about" appearing to do the right thing " in that 190,000 quid training session you chaps attended ? Although you didn't personally pay for it , it is still wise to make sure you are getting the right advice .
Anyway , sir , here is an idea for something that might save you some face when you come back to
the blazing inferno down under . Hawaii is a world leader in renewable energy , and often has days where 60% of total usage is supplied by renewables . They aim to be using 100% renewable energy by 2045 . Why not pop around to the State Energy Office in Honolulu while you are there , and pick up a few brochures ? They look impressive , with pictures of smiling engineers and workers busily improving the infrastructure under clear blue skies . You could adapt a few for use when you get home , just cut and paste in a few aussie faces and a recognisable landmark or two . But be sure to use their blue skies , of course . Smiling faces might be hard to find too. Ken junior suggests you dig out a few archived photos from the seventies , when it was fun living here .
Since I thought of it first , could you let me know the address of the department responsible for settling my invoice ? Not being a spiv myself , I won't be gouging the taxpayer for 190,000 quid , but as I have quite a few overheads at the moment , with the drought , I find myself no longer in a position to offer advice pro bono. I am sure you understand . Aloha !
Your comrade , Ken
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