Reference :- Veteran journalist Alan Jones has lost his column with Sydney's Daily Telegraph .

 Reference :-   Sky News has suffered some setbacks of late . 

 We were diligently researching the latest Sky Reply , when Monte suddenly  interrupted us . 

" Holy cow .  It says here that Alan Jones has lost his column . What a disaster . " , Monte said . 

" It's not a disaster  , I hear you can take a pill for that . " , Ken junior said . 

 " Not that column . His column with the Daily Telegraph ."   Monte said . 

 " Now that is bad news , we have less to reply to now . "   I said . 

  But the worse was yet to come  . 

 " And Sky News has been banned from You Tube for a week . Apparently they have been spreading misinformation . "   Monte said . 

All this is true , but one wonders why anybody would be worried about Sky News spreading misinformation . They have been doing that for years .  Why the sudden concern ? 

Monte said as much .

" They have been spreading misinformation about everything from global warming to bushfires to coral bleaching to budget deficits and so on  for years . Why the sudden concern ? " Monte said 

Gabbo then joined the conversation . 

" Their latest misinformation must be costing the oligarchs a lot of money . "  Gabbo said . 

That might be something to investigate while Sky's  You Tube channel is shut down . 

Your comrade , Ken 

 

 

 

Reference :- Silken voiced Sky presenter Rita Panahi warns us of the dangers of " insidious terminology ".

Reference :-   Rita Panahi does know quite a lot about "insidious terminology " . 

You are so right Rita , insidious terminology is becoming ever more apparent , and this is lowering the standard of public discourse .  As Sky News has told us so often , "the crazy woke left " has become nothing more than a " narcissistic sideshow"  .   What you call the " silent majority "  receive so little respect that they have never even been defined or quantified .  And yet , as you say,  the likes of "Sleepy Joe Biden " and "Dictator Dan Andrews " are free to engage in all manner of " virtue signaling "  about the "climate change hoax ". Its a disgrace , no less .     

Anyway Rita , don't be tempted to engage in such puerile tactics . It would be unbecoming . 

Gabbo has suggested that you merely employ the term " brigade " whenever you wish to denigrate those with whom you disagree . 

 For example  climate scientists  become " the climate change brigade "  .  The applications are endless. ...   "black lives matter brigade " ,  " me too brigade " , " renewable energy brigade "  and on and on .  

 Although Gabbo says that maybe  " unprecedented bush fire brigade " could cause confusion . 

 Hoping this is helpful ,

Your comrade , Ken . 

 

 

 

   

 

Reference :- Outspoken Sky anchor , Andy Bolt , has finally conceded that global warming is a thing .

 Reference :-  Although Andy Bolt now believes the planet is warming , he has reminded us that there is no cause for alarm . 

Indeed Andy , the evidence for global warming is now so overwhelming that one would lose all credibility by denying it is happening .    Naturally your sidekick , young Rowan Dean , will continue  to tell us an ice age is upon us  .  But he has no credibility to lose in the first instance . His segments are seen as black comedy , not news . And rather poor black comedy at that , suffused with schadenfreude as it is .   

Anyway , thank heavens you served some good news with the bad , and reminded  us that we are rich enough to buy ourselves the technology that will allow us to enjoy comfortable lives while the planet becomes daily less habitable . 

 Mind you , out here at Kooralya nobody except the publican can even afford an air conditioner .   And Ken junior tells me that there are about 700 million folk globally living in extreme poverty .  Ken junior reckons these folk probably can't afford a decent feed , let alone an air conditioned flat somewhere in a gated community protected by a private militia .  

It is all very well for Ken junior to worry about those who live in abject poverty , but I told him we can't save everybody , and we have a duty to look after ourselves .   And to be honest , sad though it is , what can 700 million desperate and impoverished folk do that might disadvantage the likes of us , who have worked hard for what we have ? 

Thanks for being so upbeat . 

Your comrade, Ken . 

PS   If you get a chance , maybe you can persuade young Rowan Dean to change tack with his ice age obsession .  Trying to keep that rubbish going is stressing the poor fellow to the point where he is becoming inarticulate .  Perhaps he might enjoy doing a weekly Astrology segment instead ? It would give him an opportunity to research some actual facts for a change .

 

Reference :- People are getting tired of lockdowns . There have been angry protests .

Reference :-    According to Sky News , its not unreasonable for people to stage protests after  being  traumatised by weeks of lockdowns . 

Sky anchor, young Andy Bolt,   doesn't object to people demonstrating in the streets .   Unless , of course , they are demonstrating about something he doesn't support .   Like black lives matter , or climate action for example . 

 But that aside , Andy has made a valid point  .  After weeks of frustrating confinement  it's only natural that people are going to let off steam .  We should cut them a little slack and not treat them so harshly . 

Unless , of course , they are foreign asylum seekers who have been locked in detention for 7 years with no idea when they might be released . Those folk should be grateful for what we are providing and remain patient .  It reflects badly upon their culture when they stage protests just because they are unhappy about their indefinite confinement .   Those people would never be able to assimilate into our society and accept our values .  Isn't that right Andy ? 

Your comrade , Ken

 

Reference :- Here's something unexpected . Actually , it's not really .

Reference :-   For every problem , there is a solution . 

Much and all as Sky News keeps finding locations where snow is falling , there are places where frozen water is thawing ... quite a lot .  One of these is along the Trans- Alaska Oil Pipeline .  It seems that thawing permafrost is causing sections of the pipeline to sink , with the risk of rupture . 

But there is no need to panic yet .  Refrigeration systems have been installed to keep the permafrost frozen beneath the pipeline . That's what's called lateral thinking at it's best .  

It reminds me of the time the ute was running out of petrol . We decided to drive as fast as possible so we would get home before the tank ran dry .  We held it flat out for miles , but we didn't quite make it .  I figure it was only because the ute wouldn't go fast enough .

 Ken junior is reading this as I tap away on the Remington .  

And he is rolling his eyes for some reason .  What's the matter with kids these days ? 

 Your comrade , Ken

 

 

Reference :- Due to popular request we are publishing the answer to Gabbo's conundrum .

Reference :-  Who would have thought that so many people couldn't solve Gabbos's riddle ?

 Two posts ago we posed this question .   You are at an intersection wondering whether to turn left or right to reach your destination . Two sisters are standing at the intersection . One sister always tells lies , and the other always tells the truth . You can ask one sister one question  . What do you ask to determine the correct direction ?

 And here is the answer .  You pick one of the sisters randomly and ask this . 

"  Will your sister tell me to go to the right ? "  . 

 If the answer is yes , then you must turn left .  

The reasoning goes like this .   If the sister you asked is the liar , she will have lied when she said the honest sister would tell you to go right . This means the correct direction is to the left . 

If the sister you asked is honest , when she says that the other sister would tell you to turn right  she is telling the truth  about the other sister who  is the liar , so you must turn left . 

If the answer is no , you must turn right .  The same logic applies . 

Should you have asked the sister who lies , she will have lied when she said her sister would say no .  Which means the honest sister would say turn right . 

If the sister you asked is honest she would answer no , because she knows the lying sister will tell you to turn left . 

This means you must turn right . 

 It's pretty obvious now Gabbo has pointed it out .  

 Parliament question time will never seem  as daunting again . 

Your comrade,  Ken .

Reference :- Sky weather boy Rowan Dean is not as amusing as he once was .

Reference:-  Ever since Rowan Dean decided to entertain us with kooky ice age predictions he has had to ignore the deadly heatwaves and massive wildfires that regularly ravage the northern hemisphere during our winter .

It's a tough spot you are in Rowan .  We used to enjoy sitting down on a Sunday , cracking the popcorn and laughing at all that " Electroverse " guff about the impending ice age.   The trouble is , the real news showing deaths during record heatwaves , council cooling rooms for the heat struck , and 22,000 firefighters struggling against  88 uncontrolled wildfires in the USA does make for more compelling viewing .  

You have to admit that the video footage of such catastrophes holds an audience's attention  far better than a few incomprehensible graphs gleaned from " Electroverse " .  True , you do flash those graphs on the screen so briefly  that nobody can even read what is being measured on the 'x' and 'y ' axes , which does add a sense of mystery .   But let's be honest ,  your presentations are never going to impress viewers as much as images of a 600 square mile uncontrollable inferno . 

We could see you were nervous on Sunday , Rowan .  You stammered more than somewhat , and had a tendency to glance about nervously .  Normally a news presenter can get away with that if their content is authentic , but you have no hope of peddling kooky propositions if you are not meticulous in your presentation .   The slightest stumble will invite suspicions that you don't believe your own conspiracy theories .

Ken junior has pointed out that other comedians , most notably Tommy Cooper , can successfully make ineptitude part of their routine .  But you don't have the required humility to run with that , so your performance must always be flawless .  

" But no pressure . "  ,  Ken junior says .

Your comrade , Ken .