Reference :- Break out the popcorn . Sky weather boy Rowan Dean is back !

Reference :-    Rowan Dean is back from holidays, sporting a darkish suntan . 

It's always great to see your back Rowan .  Sorry , I mean " you're back" .   Although a chap with your complexion should be careful about getting too much sun .  Ken junior reckons you should have returned paler than ever , wearing gloves and a beanie , so that you could complain about the cold and the imminent ice age . 

 Sky Reply contributing editor Gabbo  initially thought you might be wearing blackface . But I told him you would never do that while being interviewed by fellow Sky reporter , Andy Bolt.  Young Andy has had enough time in court over accusations of racism to last a lifetime .

Anyway Rowan , enough of that . Let's move along to your role as weather boy .  You must have noticed that folk are dying from the heat in the northern hemisphere right now . In their hundreds .  If you don't explain that adequately your Ice Age Report might get canned . You don't want to lose your job .

Let's look at the so called " facts " through an ice age lens .  For starters folk in the USA and Canada are stacking on the avoirdupois faster than Paul Murray at a young liberals sausage sizzle .  Paul himself looks like a sack full of coronary embolisms . He sports the complexion of a rotten zucchini these days , and here it is winter . 

Imagine how long his ventricles would continue pulsating if he was in Canada right now ?

You need to point out that the hundreds of heatwave deaths are not due to the record temperatures . The obesity crisis is obviously to blame . 

Furthermore , as usual , the climate alarmists are trying to pass off hearsay as fact .  They expect us to believe that Lytton in Canada has experienced the highest temperature ever recorded for Canada , and broken that record three times in three consecutive days .  We must  look at that ridiculous claim more carefully . 

For starters , how are they measuring the temperature ?  The entire town has been burned to the ground by  catastrophic wildfires .  The residents themselves are quoted as saying " we just grabbed our car keys and our pets and fled ".   Nobody appears to have saved the thermometers , so how can anybody vouch for the accuracy of any temperature reports ?   And it goes without saying that the place was hotter than usual . Everything gets hotter when it's on fire .  

Once again we have to endure another beat up by cultural marxists whose only goal is to enrich themselves by pushing up the price of electricity for hard working Australians .   It' so obvious . 

Anyway Rowan , welcome back .  Gabbo reckons plenty of Aloe Vera cream will cure your sunburn swiftly .  Ken junior tried to tell me that something called "ozone"  in the upper firmament protects us from  ultraviolet rays and sunburn .   Sounds like rubbish to me .  According to my Funk and Wagnalls this supposed "ozone " only makes up .00006% of the atmosphere , so how could that do anything ?    Carbon dioxide levels are almost one thousand times that , and as Alan Jones tells us , they can't effect anything . 

Welcome home. 

Your comrade , Ken . 

PS    How is your Ice Age Watch colleague ,  the mysterious Cap Allon , managing  up there in northern climes ?   Remind him not to become dehydrated .  ( One of the symptoms of dehydration is confusion and he needs a clear mind now more than ever ) .