Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Reference :- A very personal , and also factually correct post , as our editor reminisces .

Reference :-  Sky weather man , Rowan Dean,  and the editor of the Sky Reply were in the UK at the same time , in the halcyon days of their youth.  Who would have thought ?

 Hey Rowan , guess what ?    It turns out that you and I were living in the UK at the same time !   That's right !  You were doing really well in  advertising and marketing , and did a wonderful job promoting Fosters Lager .  The ads were hilarious . There was one involving the flying doctor and a pedal wireless that I still occasionally run as a joke , when there is a fresh audience.  I wonder if you wrote that one ?  The humour was based on an act of gross selfishness , if you recall .

Anyway , while you were busy winning awards for advertising , I was doing some post grad study , but also running the doctor's mess at an NHS teaching hospital .   Those were the days . Clive James , Barry Humphries and Germaine Greer had taken England by storm . It was a great time to be an Aussie in Old Blighty .   Earls Court had been more or less annexed by the swarms of visitors from     "Down Under " , and Fosters was the beer of choice .

 No doubt thanks to you , during a promotion we were able to score a free temprite for the bar in the doctor's mess.  This meant we could serve ice cold Fosters on tap.   So four decades later , please accept my thanks .

 Well Rowan , my reason for writing is that I feel I owe you a return favour .  You are making quite a prick of yourself by thrusting appalling misinformation upon the unwary with that Ice Age Watch weather report garbage .   We, like most of your audience , watch it to laugh at you .  But some folk may take it seriously .  Others have been sacked by Sky News for being full of it , and you may find yourself joining their ranks soon if you don't smarten up .

 So here are a few facts Rowan , that you might find illuminating. 

 Those record cold spells that you become tumescent over are predicted by global warming models .   I won't bore you with descriptions of how the polar vortex in the northern hemisphere has been disturbed by record heat in the arctic , allowing cold air to spill south .  Neither of us has any qualifications in climate science , you especially ,  so we need a simple way to understand how scientists know that the planet is warming .

 This is done with a thing called a thermometer   (apologies for the big word , but it's the only one )
 There are many highly regarded agencies interested in global warming , and they  produce vast temperature data sets .   NASA is one . ( You know , they put a man on the moon when you were at school , so they know their stuff .  )  Their measurements are duplicated by scientists from many countries .  For example , Japan's Meteorological Agency , and the University of East Anglia , in the England we fondly remember .
 These respected authorities place thermometers at thousands of places around the world . In hot places and cold . In areas populated and remote .  In high places and low . In water and on land .  On ships and buoys . In balloons and aircraft .  Even satellites .  And they measure the temperatures in thousands upon thousands of locations around the globe over and over again .

 Are you with me still ?   If you average these out over many years ,  it is an indisputable fact that the planet is warming .   Some places get hotter (  thousands of increased heatwave deaths annually )  . Some places get colder ( record snowfalls )  .  Some places flood .  Some places suffer drought .  Most glaciers retreat .  Some glaciers grow .    But the overall average temperature of the planet climbs steadily higher .  

  So that's it Rowan , you are full of it old mate .   Sky News will inevitably sack you . My advice is that you stop promoting yourself like a circus clown and start writing ethical journalism so there is something nice to say about you at your funeral .  Neither of us will be alive for much longer Rowan , but you still have time to produce something worthwhile .  

  Anyway , let's crack a Fosters and toast the good old days .   Cheers!   Your comrade , Ken



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