Reference :- The Sky Reply offers an article to cutting edge news anchor Alan Jones .

Reference :-   Jonesie is a busy gentleman , and might  appreciate being gifted a ready made and meticulously researched article about coronavirus .

 Good morning Jonesie .   To show our appreciation for the way you present the science of climate change to the great unwashed , we enclose herewith an article which you may use gratis .

"   We are told that 97% of the worlds scientists fear a coronavirus pandemic .   But who are these quacks ?  I will tell you who they are . They are  the paid shills of the face mask  and hand sanitiser  industry .  Face mask sales have been falling  as the bushfires end .  But now we are told we need them to prevent a pandemic . Do you think that's just a coincidence ?   Do you know how many cases of coronavirus have been confirmed in Australia ?    Less than thirty ! That's right , less than thirty . And do you know how many China has had  ?  Almost  80,000.   That's right  , 80,000.  We are not even a drop in the ocean compared with China , so why should we care ?
 And if that's not bad enough  , the government is using this so called pandemic as an excuse to explain why they are failing to give us the budget surplus .  That's right , the budget surplus they promised us at the last election .  Well they can shove their face masks down their throats , and that hand sanitiser poppycock won't wash with me .   And you know who's going to be paying for this disgraceful con ?   That's right , you !    You the taxpayer will foot the bill !   It's a bloody disgrace .  China's economy is slowing as it's brutal communist regime  inevitably fails , like the left always does .   And they want  aussie  battlers who are doing it tough , aussie battlers who pay too much for their electricity because of stupid green policies , they want aussie battlers to cough up for their mistakes .
Well I have spoken recently with one of the world's  leading homeopath .  He has a masters degree in hydromemory and is the scientist who first discovered that when crystal dangling in the southern hemisphere you have to read the crystals upside down.   He has pointed this out.   A virus is only one ten millionth the size of  a human being .   That's only . 000001%   .   That's right ,  .000001%  . !   And we are expected to believe one of them can kill a person .   It's ridiculous , that's what it is .    A mouse can't kill somebody , and these viruses are a million times smaller .
The green left has got to Scott Morrison and now he is pandering to them with this rubbish , this utter garbage about so called pandemics .   Don't be fooled , this is just another ploy , another attempt to snatch and grab more of your hard earned pay with another tax .  I am  Alan Jones . "

You are obviously welcome to edit as you please , Alan , but we reckon it won't need much .

Your comrade , Ken